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i've got the same old heart with a brand new beat

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??? [15 Dec 2007|05:29am]
[ mood | tired ]

i miss writing in my livejournal!!

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[25 Mar 2007|06:20pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

the ice cream man just passed by my house.

i am so excited.

2 comments|post comment

i'm a little late.... [01 Jan 2007|10:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

first lj update '07. happy new year!

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long christmas entry! [26 Dec 2006|12:30am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

happy belated birthday, jesus!

christmas was great to me this year, i'm beaming at the moment. got a pile of great art books which i'm already knee deep in, a Nikon N55 SLR, my pink nintendo ds is on it's way (yay!) and i'm going tomorrow to get nintendogs and the new super mario. plus, i got new clothes and that really cool light show air freshener which i REALLY wanted.

christmas eve was g-reat. amazing food. in-laws came over too! from them i got penguin soap, a travel jewelery case, a sweet bag, and more. the grandparent in laws got me gift certificates. and on top of that i got presents from his aunt and uncle. family much?! face got me a beautiful tiffany ring, a hello kitty waffle maker and a giant mumble stuffed animal (that one was for hanukkah) i love my husband so much! =) we all played a huge game of left, right, center and jason won $60! it was a nail biter. now we're both rolling in the dough. working 12 and a half hours in one day definitelyyyy pays off. plus i got a $200 bonus from edibles. sweeeeet.

i feel like this was the first year i was really able to give great presents to people, which made me feel so amazing. i chipped in to get my sister perfume and got her a sweater on the side. nicole got pants and some books for roma and i got jacklyn like 5 gap shirts and a book on cocktails. we all chipped in to get my parents their own ipod and speakers! they loveeeeee it. oh, and jason and i got his parents tickets to see the wedding singer next weekend.

i went to jason's for a bit and he just left here, he's the greatest ever. 'nough said. <3
all in all, i love christmas, love my boyfriend, love my family, love my boyfriends family and absolutely hate westchester.

[03 Dec 2006|10:21pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

i feel it's necessary to update this thing when i'm bored.

latelyyyy: i've gotten into three colleges so far, neither or which i think i'll actually go to. just happy i'm in someplace. i stayed home sick on thursday. recently i've been feeling like death 24/7. needed to go to the doctor. they ran a million tests on me. apparently i've already had mono, i'm anemic and possibly have a muscle deficiency? so i'm on tons of iron and some other fun medicines. i think one of the greatest parts of this was that i had just had blood drawn three weeks prior to this appointment, and no one said there was anything wrong. ha.

well despite staying home sick i still continued to bug my parents about letting me go visit jason. saturday i was really disappointed i wasn't there and that we missed eachother so much so i called my parents and begged once more. they let me go! =] so 4ish on saturday i left and spent too much money to go see my adorable boyfriend for less than a day. that's just how much i love him. plus friday was our two year and two months anniversary. i just got home 3(ish) hours ago and miss him a lottttttt. at least it should hold me over the 11 days til he comes home for christmas break.

i got jason a nintendo wii for christmas. i think i spoil him a little to much, but i have so much fun doing it. him, travis and i waited outside of e.b. games the day after thanksgiving from 12:30 AM to 7AM and i was first on line to get my love a wii! it was freezing (and expensive!) but we had a lot of fun and i know he realllllly wants it, so i'm just happy i got one at all.

lately i've been thinking a lot about different people. and about events from last year. i've been talking to jason about such things and quite frankly, i'm pretty annoyed. i think eventually i'll find myself bored and in a bad mood logged onto livejournal ranting like i used to. til then, i've grown bored with this. so i'm done for the next 3 months or so?

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bored [21 Oct 2006|09:18pm]

i haven't wrote here in a while. i'm bored. i don't feel good.

1. Next person you'll kiss: jason in a few hours less than 7 days.
2. Next movie you want to see: HAPPY FEET. and a ton of others.
3. Next person you want to go out with: i'm happy with where i'm at.
5. Next time you're going out: probably tomorrow after work
6. Next place you'll take vacation: disney? spring break? i don't know yet/
7. Next thing you are going to do after filling this survey out: take extra strength tylenol and turn off all the lights.
8. Next thing you are going to eat: i'm full, but i'm chewing on a pen at the moment.
9. Next time you plan to be drunk: i don't plan on it anytime soon/
10. Next thing you are going to do outside: run around in circles or something.
11. Next person you'd like to see fill this out: i don't really care.

1. Last kiss: jason
2. Last person you hugged: don't remember.
3. Last person you spoke to: i guess nicole? i was text messaging jason and nick.
4. Last alcoholic beverage: don't even remember.
6. Last movie: the wedding singer.
7. Last person you thought of: jason.
8. Last school you went to: syosset
9. Last person you said I love you to: jason
10. Last run in with the Law: don't knowww.
11. Last fight you were in: last night.
12. Last bar/club/concert/party you went to: who keeps track of things like this?
13. Last person you IMed: miguel ratner
14. Last thing you ate: pen right now.
15. Last thing you saved up money for: i don't save up money to well.

1. First kiss: on a hill at camp. the boy shall remain nameless.
2. First true Love: jason cohen.
3. First boyfriend: robbie?
4. First car: my 17th birthday is in 17 days, so give or take a few days.
5. First pet: fishie [goldie locks]
6. First computer: idk?
7. First concert: bon jovi '01
8. First alcoholic beverage: i believe it was a rum and coke though my uncle used to let me sip his beer when i was younger.
9. First time you stayed out all night: excluding sleepovers? las vegas with my teen tour.
10. First best friend: kelly and logan.
11. First job: babysitting/teen pix
12. First school: faith lutheran
13. First movie you watched in a theater: ?
14. First thing you really saved up money for: i just save money hoping to find something i want someday.

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[18 Aug 2006|12:45am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i no longer write in this thing anymore, nor does anyone read it anymore. so i'm just going to go on a nice little rant. no, not even a rant. i'm basically going to write whatever pops into my head. i love jas. i love my new fish and new fish tank. i got 5 new fish today to go with frank jr. foxy brown was taken away (r.i.p.) i cried a lot even though i had gotten her about 8 hours prior to her death. i saw a really cute puppy at selmers. jas gave me his super nintendo, it's awesome and i can't stop playing it. we're going to get our hair cut tomorrow. today i played scene it? with him, his mom and his sister. i love that family. jason leaves in a few days, i'm pretty confident in it, despite my usual negative attitude. i know i'll miss him but i just have a good feeling everything will be okay. no, not even that everything will be okay. i think this is going to make our relationship stronger. all i know is that i love the boy more than life and..."distance makes the heart grow fonder." you have NO idea how many people have said that to me lately. NO IDEA. everyone thinks that the moment jason leaves i'm just going to fall into a million pieces and die. i won't. i'm really tired. i don't why i'm writing in here and why i'm not in bed. i'm going to see the wedding singer and i'm pretty excited about it. though, i don't think it was necessary for my mother to call me at 9 AM on the dot to let me know, especially because it was my first day off in a long time and i was kindaaaa looking foward to sleeping late. 11:40ish...i guess thats not too bad. except i have another day off tomorrow and i'm not sleeping late, but whatever. my jobs more demanding than i thought it would be. demanding in the sense that i have to be there a lot. borderline a full time job actually. (40 hours a week) the only really annoying thing is that we don't do anything there. as a matter of fact, yesterday (well technically the day before yesterday) i went in and since we knew rory wasn't coming in we turned off all the lights and put the notebook on the flat screen. sure, there was no sound and we had to read the subtitles but we still got surprisingly into it. i'm yawning. i have really bad hiccups. i hate my hiccups because they genuinely hurt me and go really deep down. i think i'm gonna go to sleep now. for whoever reads this (which i know no one will) i'm sorry for this meaningless and pointless entry. i'm also sorry that this had to take up so much room on your friendslist. not that you should care because i don't think many people even look at those things. regardless, i'm out. toodles.

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[11 May 2006|10:24pm]
Body: Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?: pretty sure i was
Were you the first?: there's 3 before me
Who was present at your birth?: parents and doctors. my sisters/grandparents came later.
Were your parents married when you were born?: yup
What is your birthdate?: 11/7

Part 2: The Family

How would you describe your family?: insane.
Are your parents married? Divorced? Seperated?: married
Siblings or an only child?: siblings
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: youngest.
What are your siblings names and ages?: alicia 26, jacklyn 25 on monday and nicole's almost 21.
Which parent do you get along with best?: n/a
What do you fight about?: everything? money, work, school work, sats, time management, college, ect.
Do you have step parents?: nopezzzz.

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?: nopeee
Who are your best friends?: i have a lot of close friends, but jason is definitely my best friend.
What do you like to do when you are together?: be silly and be in loveeeee<3
you share the same interests?: some of them. the differences make it fun.
Which friend can you tell anything to?: i can tell jason a lot, other than that probably michelle or alyssa.

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?: pretty damn low.
Do you get depressed about things easily?: depends. but overall, yes.
Are you and extrovert or and introvert?: depends.
Are you happy?: occasionally.
Do you live life to the fullest?: no, but i'm content.

Part 5: Apperance

Are you comforable with the way you look?: sometimes.
What would you change about your apperance if you could? probably my body type.
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: well theres still a hole where my belly button ring used to be.
Describe your hair.: wavy/curlyish
What make-up do you wear?: when i actually wear makeup, it's usually masacara or sometimes eyeliner.
How do you dress?: sweatpants, jeans, tshirts, hoodies.

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?: ohhhh chyea.
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: i'm pretty much the same dumb ass kid, but soccer i guess?
Do you have the same friends?: not all of them, but a lot.
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: mhm.

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?: love, hapiness, success
Are you scared of growing old?: a little.
Do you want to get married?: mhm.
College?: working on it.
Study?: depending on the subject.
Where do you want to live?: the city, boston, baltimore. i need a city.

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: bothh
What is your favorite season: spring/fall. mmm in between weather!<3
Weather?: comfortable. not too hot, not too cold.
Do you like walking in the rain?: loveeees it
Camping?: i used to go alllll the time.

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegentarian?: i wish
What is your favorite food? pastaaaa
What food makes you want to gag?: liver.
What is your favorite dessert?: cupcakes seems like a solid answer? i guess i dont have one.
What is your favorite restaurant?: applebees, girasol. i love my italian resturants.
Are you a fussy eater?: i'm getting better.

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: very much taken & in love, thank you.
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: FASON! always =)
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: i've yet to experience anything better.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: i guess so, but thats not the only way to fall in love.
will you repost for your friends?: sure

bored at work =/ [17 Apr 2006|05:11pm]
[ mood | bored ]


1. Next person you'll kiss: Jason

2. Next movie you want to see: I'd like to see scary movie 4

3. Next person you want to go out with: I'm content.

4. Next car you want to have: If i can't get a new car, the Pathfinder

5. Next time you're going out: Not a clue.

6. Next time you're going to move: When I have to do the close outtt

7. Next thing you're going to save money for: my own SLR

8. Next time that you will drink alcohol: Hopefully not for a long, long time.

9. Next person you are going to call: I don't know? Probably Leah

10. Next place you'll take vacation: I just got back from North Carolinaaa

11. Next thing you are going to do after filling this survey: Closeout

12. Next thing you are going to eat: If i don't go to Jason's for dinner, probably matzoh or maybe even some Dominos.

13. Next time you plan to be drunk: I don't plan that stuff out?

14. Next thing you are going to do outside: Walking home from Edibles

15. Next person you'd like to see fill this out: Anyone?


1. Last kiss: Jason!

2. Last person you hugged: Jason!

3. Last person you spoke to: Jeffrey

4. Last alcoholic beverage: I can't even remember?

6. Last movie: ??

7. Last person you thought of: Jason, Jason, Jason.

8. Last school you went to: Syosset Hight School

9. Last person you said I love you to: Jason.

10. Last run in with the Law: Probably jwalking across South Oyster Bay rd.

12. Last bar/club/concert/party you went to: ?

13. last person you emailed: I rarely ever use my email. I think it was buying something off Ebay

14. Last thing you ate: Yogurt

15. Last thing you saved up money for: My new cellphone


1. First kiss: Josh Sporn.

2. First true Love: There can only be one true love silly.

3. First heartbreak: Sporn or Foster?

4. First car: n/a

5. First pet: besides my like... 4,000 fish - A cat named Chopmeat that we found on our doorstep :)

6. First computer: mmm Old school Macintosh

7. First concert: Bon Jovi tickets that I won from Z100.

8. First alcoholic beverage: My uncle used to give me some beer when I was younger, lol.
9. First time you stayed out all night: I don't know if I've done anything like that. Unless it was like...sleeping over a friends house or something dumb.

10. First best friend: Kelly and Logan.

11. First job: Teen Pix. I was fired because I sat down and got hungry.

12. First school: Faith Lutheran Pre School

13. First movie you watched in a theatre: The first movie I went to by myself I can't remember the name of but it has Sisquo and Kirsten Dunst in it. I think it was in like...6th grade

14. first thing you really saved up for: Something I really didn't need I'm sure.

15. first fist fight: Serious one, fighting a girl named Kim at Camp Lohikan.

8 comments|post comment

[05 Apr 2006|10:17pm]
clearly it's michelle i copy this ridiculous shit from.

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (first shoes and current street name)
Converse Ashford

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)
Regina Twix

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two, three, or four letters of your last name)
K Espo

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Penguin

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Michael Plainview =(

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Esp Rum Rox - that one is just horrible.

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Leahcim Tlepmur

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive or want to drive)
The Green Pathfinder?
3 comments|post comment

[12 Mar 2006|12:45am]

tonight was a good night =)

1 comment|post comment

[11 Mar 2006|12:32am]

[22 Feb 2006|12:47pm]

And I can't figure out why.

i'm bored [12 Feb 2006|07:22pm]

1. have you been kissed? Yeah.
2. Slept in a different bed before? Mhm.
3. Made out in a movie theatre? Yup
4. Made out in the forest? ...Sort of.
5. Thought your cousin was hot? I would hope not.
6. Got really drunk? Si
7. Slept naked? Yup
8. Ran a red light? I've been in the car when it's happened.
9. Gone over the speed limit? Once again, I've been in the car when it's happened.
10. Painted your room? Yeah.
11. Drove a car? Mhm.
12. Danced in front of your mirror? Your damn right I have.
13. Gotten a hickey? Yes.
14. Been dumped? Yup.
15. Stolen money from a friend? Never when they didn't know about it, or when I wasn't joking.
16. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yea.
17. Been in a fist fight? To some degree.
18. Snuck out of your house? Yup.
19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Mhm
20. Been arrested? No.
21. Made out with a stranger? Yeah.
22. Left the house without telling your parents? Si.
23. Had a crush on your neighbor? Nope.
24. Ditched school to do something more fun? I don't think so.
25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yeah.
26. Seen someone die? No.
27. Been on a plane? Mhmm.
28. Kissed a picture? Haha yup
29. Slept in until 3? That's what most of my weekends are like.
30. Love someone or miss someone right now? Most definitely.
31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Mhmm.
32. Made a snow angel? Yup.
33. Played dress up? Yeah.
34. Cheated while playing a game? I can't remember but i'm sure I have.
35. Been lonely? Of course.
36. Fell asleep at work/school? Mhm.
37. Been to a club? No.
38. Felt an earthquake? Nope.
39. Touched a snake? Yeah.
40. Ran a red light? You asked this question already.
41. Been suspended from school? 5 days.
42. Had detention? Si.
43. Been in a car accident? Never a serious one.
44. Hate the way you look? Yup.
45. Witnessed a crime? To some degree.
46. Been lost? Yup.
47. Been to the opposite side of the country? W.C.C.
48. Felt like dying from embarrassment? Of course.
49. Cried yourself to sleep? Most definitely.
50. Sang karaoke? One time or another I'm sure someone got me to do it.
51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Obviously.
52. Laughed until something came out of your nose? Yup.
53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Si.
54. Kissed in the rain? Yup.
55. Sung in the shower? Almost everyday :x
56. Had a dream that you married someone? Mhm.
57. Glued your hand to something? Yeah.
58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? Never.
59. Ever gone to school partially naked? Uh, I don't think so.
60. Been a cheerleader? I came close to trying out. I used to play around with my sister and do that stuff, lol.
61. Sat on a roof top? A lot.
62. Didn't take a shower for a week? I'm sure I have, When i was in like. 2st grade I hated taking showers.
63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? Yes, but it's not as fun.
64. Played chicken? With my bike and someones wheelchair.
65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yup.
66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Mhm.
67. Broken a bone? My pinky.
68. Been easily amused? Allllll the time.
69. Laugh so hard you cry? Yup.
70. Cheated on a test? I've helped other people cheat, but other than that I don't think so.
71. Forgotten someones name? Mhm.
72. Blacked out from drinking? No.
73. Played a prank on someone? Yea.
74. Gone to a late night movie? I think so.
75. Made love to anything not human? ....No.
76. Failed a class? Never.
77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Kind of.
78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? No.
79. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? I think once, but don't worry, I got a lot of shit for it.
80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? Yeah.
81. Thrown strange objects? Mhm.
82. Felt like killing someone? Not seriously, more like "Ugh I wanna kill them!"
83. Thought about running away? I've tried.
84. Ran away? I've tried.
85. Had detention and not attend it? I don't think so.
86. Made a parent cry? A lot.
87. Cried over someone? Yeah.
88. Owned more than 5 sharpies? I have a 24 pack!<3
89. Dated someone more than once? Yup.
90. Have dogs? Roxy :)
91. Own an instrument? I once had a drum set and a clarinet.
92. Been in a band? Probably when I was in 3rd grade and was like "I wanna be a Spice Girl, Let's start a band!"
93. Drank 25 sodas in a day? Never.
94. Broken a cd? Yup.
95. Shot a gun? Riflery at camp and stuff.
96. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours? I've probably been logged on for 5 hours, but never actually sat there interested for that long.
97. Hurt yourself on purpose? Yes :x
98. Have a major crush on someone right now? I kind of like my boyfriend, he's alright.<3
99. Have a religion? More like 3.
100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral? Mhm.
101. What do you think about the person who filled this survey? Kayla's really sweet and she doesn't deserve half the shit she goes through.


That was really pointless, but it kept me occupied.

the pictures left unfinished, so i am writing my own ending. [27 Dec 2005|01:33pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

i feel like i was just doing this last yearCollapse )

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[24 Dec 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | in love ]

   So around about August 2004, I started talking to this guy online. Around the same time a new cleaning lady my parents hired threw awat this stuffed animal I'd had since I was an infant. I was obsessed with it. When I was little I never put it down. It became a rag doll - literally. but I still loved it. I still hold a grudge on her.
   Well, I spoke to Jason (the boy) about this doll because I was freaking out and was just extremely upset. A little while later this boy asked me out. So over a year since then, I'm still upset about this Puffles. What does this boy do? Even though they stopped making them like they used to (or maybe even at all) he finds an exact replica of what mine originally looked like.

This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, ever.


Hey Jason, Merry Christmas.
I love you and you're the most amazing boyfriend that ever will exist.

[22 Dec 2005|03:51pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

"Today I finally overcame trying to fit the world inside a picture frame.
Maybe I will tell you all about it,
when I'm in the mood to lose my way with words."

The only thing keeping me dry is where I amCollapse )

what more is to be said? [08 Dec 2005|03:04pm]
what was that saying again?
something about not putting a guy between your friendships?
you know the one... oh yeahhh


fuck that.

wowwwww [06 Dec 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Kelly Michael Esposito's Aliases

Your movie star name: Cookie Frank

Your fashion designer name is Kelly Versiles

Your socialite name is Kel Milan

Your fly girl / guy name is K Esp

Your detective name is Pig Syosset

Your barfly name is Pretzel Screw Driver

Your soap opera name is Michael Ashford

Your rock star name is Lollipop Car

Your star wars name is Kelrox Espjas

Your punk rock band name is The Tired Hair Brush

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[29 Nov 2005|09:41pm]
[ mood | love, love, love ]

he is the only one who can make me smile.
& yes, i do love him more than anything. nothing could change that.
he's the best thing thats ever happened to me♥

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