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[November 22nd, 2009. 5:45pm] |
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Loblaws turns me into such a bitter and angry person, I'm honestly fuming after an 8-hour shift.
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[November 11th, 2009. 12:55am] |
Last week, three guys from my past all of a sudden wanted to make peace with me.
01. I made plans to hang out with the first, hoping to gain the closure I didn't really receive over four years ago when I was in the ninth-grade state of triviality. I can't really fathom how much he has let himself go, and with no valid reason either other than laziness and self-deprecation. Why do you think you still have the same issues you had in high school? Because you aren't proactive in changing the things that have most negatively affected you these past FIVE years. I hope I gave him the closure he needed, because hanging out with him didn't really do anything for me except harden my beliefs I gained after he squashed my insecure adolescent heart like a bug.
02. Another messaged me wanting to make peace whom I saw for a few months last winter. Now, it's one thing to say you want to make peace and another to begin a conversation that has nothing to do with reconciliation. Getting really personally inquisitive right off the bat about my current love life is nothing close when things ended so shitty between us. Then through this, becoming so frustrated by the fact that I am indifferent to his idea of making peace and addressing none of these questions, he then tells me I'm rude and have talked down to him the entire time he's known me. No wonder he made me feel like shit for investing feelings. I said, "That's so great, really, I'ma' let'chu finish.. but the logical thing to do in that case then--would be to STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME." I guess there was no peace made there, but I'm not really that bothered.
03. The third was a fling I had this past summer with an old friend. Things didn't end badly or anything, and the point of communication was all in hope for play. I fucked him off even though I'm not opposed to that, but sometimes it isn't enough for people to realize they missed their chance; they need to feel like they missed something, which brings me to
04. Someone I didn't date/wasn't messaged by to make peace (probably over my dead body), but broke my heart. 19. I don't even know what to say except, "glad to see you're still alive."
In conjunction and irony (word-use?) to all of this bullshit, yesterday I got three really awesome hugs in close succession from the guy I like that were all not initiated by me (hugs for people usually are), which made me pretty happy because good hugs are the gift that keeps on giving. Then I decided to leap and I asked him out for drinks. He said, "he would love to when he doesn't go home to see his family for the weekend." Meltmeltmeltmeltmelt.
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[November 6th, 2009. 12:17am] |
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Stressed. :(
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[November 5th, 2009. 12:35pm] |
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Love your beard, come nestle me.
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[October 31st, 2009. 1:39am] |
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My fried egg costume idea failed because I procrastinated, but I'll be the banana dancing at MSTRKRFT HALLOWEEN tonight!!
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yesterday_____'s journal