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my life is an untold legend of bravery and valor under fire. born and raised at the bright age of three in the canadian wilderness, adam, later to be known only as "the chosen one" was forced through the traditional candian trials and tribulations which consist of bringing back the head of a goose, a moose, and a bear at different increments in order to gain citizenship. our brave hero accomplished these tasks with a vengeance unheard of since the days of napolean and the great grudge wars of '72. upon completing his trials young adam was given the code name "jacques," taught some basic english and shipped south to america, hidden in a crate with some maple syrup. upon arriving in america jacques set the standard for what will be "in" and what is "out" in terms of chic-ness for years to come. and so, tell your grandchildren when they ask that not all canadians become park rangers or lumber jacks, some of them become heroes.