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shadow of a nightmare long past

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whoot-whoot! [03 Jun 2005|11:33am]
[ mood | amused ]

alright, so last night was jon's party, and i camwhored. what you see behind the link is the result of that whorage, so do enjoy. im taking time out of my day of nothing to do this all fancy and cool, so be happy or i'll eat your babies.


click for pictures, my lovesCollapse )

1 post| take away my happy ending.

good days (?) [09 Mar 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | content ]

its a huge relief being able to talk to evan again, and today and yesterday can testify to that.

so yesterday umm algebra test wasnt as hard as i thought it would be. i thought i did a good job. then again, i thought the same thing on my last test, and i got it back and it was a 78. so that kind of ruined my day for awhile until english, in which my day is always brightened even tho the weather was absolutely terrifying.

then afterwards umm lunch with dani, back to english, stopped by mulvey's, and then we ditched 3rd block. oh em gee im sorry but i had to because im spanish retarded and i cant write my dialogue so im ditching spanish until i get it done. which will include tomorrow, as well. ugh. so if anyone out there can help me with that dialogue, and the other 5 missing assignments i have, that would be absolutely amazing and i would love you. this weekend i am hopefully free/will make myself free if anybody's willing to and able to help me out, cuz i dont want to keep ditching spanish for the rest of the semester.
thnksomuch.

ummhmmso yeah that was cool (?) i had a good time with danika, tho. you RAWKK. whoot.
eagleaires was ...fine? who knows/cares.

ummhmmagain... afterwards i went home, slept, tried to do spanish and failed miserably, and yeah.

so today i woke up, went to history with my finished hmwk (WHOOdanika), had a decent time except for the whole watching an episode of M*A*S*H (that sucked ass), went to choir, didnt have too bad of a time except for the whole listening to jeff squawk like a pubescent parrot. umm then what else happened... bio was fun lol um we spent the whole time (my table anyways) talking about sex, masturbation, menstruation, pornography, and tons of other dirrtythings.
lmfao tho it was so much fun.

hmm, more eagleaires, worked on my solo w/ nozot, brought patrick home with me, ate foodstuff, walked back to percussion, did nothing for an hour cuz v kicked us out of everything, started doing stuff for awhile and everyone left at 6:30 except for basses, who stayed till 7:30 doing our split.

ahh then afterwards me and sean reminisced of the day in which miss p came and there was light.

quite literally, actually. do you guys remember walking in our her first day and it being brighter in the band room because she knew where all the light switches were, whereas kecoughsatancoughesor was a dumbass who couldnt find them? yeeaah..
gooodtimes, ppl, gooooodtimes.

so nothing really sucks, but nothings absolutely amazing.
maybe tomorrow, if my test is graded, i can give you a thumbs up or down. but until then... life is bipolar.

aka it has its ups and downs.
[insert jake's canadian eh]
reminder to self: tomorrow is brian's mexican adoption ceremony. dont forget because he certainly wont remember. ^________^

take away my happy ending.

finally. [05 Mar 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I EFFING DID IT.
thats right.
i talked to evan.

and the weight of the world slides off of my shoulders.

take away my happy ending.

the thing that is/was today. [04 Mar 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | confused ]

sorry i havent updated this in like forever. but here you go. ^___^

so yeah. today.
went to algebra late cuz i was decorating my martha stewart celebration cake.
then i was stressed badly thru algebra because this new chapter is hell, i dont understand it, and i cant miss eagleaires after school to go to study hall cuz nozot gets pissed at me. so im like completely flipping out about it because i cant afford to not pass this test. i need to get at least a middle b, and nothing less, otherwise my grade will be in a hole i cant climb out of.
gah.
so flipping hard.
i hate sequences.
they make no sense.
nobody cares about them, so they can eff off.
gah again.

then i dont know what else. hmm. english was very much fun, tho. i had a good time with ms smith who was dressed up as martha and enjoyed the oohs and aahs when i unveiled my cakething. i felt very special, and was photographed twice, once w/ my cake, and once with ms 'martha.'

so that was fun. i enjoyed that class.
lunch... um...
okay so here's the story.
i go to find nozot so i could work the summertime solo.
buut he wasnt there. so i go into the bandroom to ask cruse where he was, and i see bryan and jp strugglying with the tarp, so i helped them move some percussion stuff so we dont have to tomorrow morning.
then i went on a hunt for paper and pencil.
and...

i wrote evan a note.
yes, i know, pathetic, but since its hell week, i cant call him anytime, and its hard for me to takl to him in person, sooo a note works.
it was about how im sorry for everything that i've said that has driven us apart and why i flipped out last time i blew up at him and more im sorry's and more explanations, some more sorry's, an i miss being able to talk to you, and a few sentences about how i want to talk to him but i cant because it hurts too much due to aforementioned reasons and blah blah im sorry, and then it was over.

then i didnt give it to him in person.
I PUT IT IN HIS MESSENGER BAG.
yes, i know, scandalous.
i went thru his belongings.
just kidding. i was holding my breath cuz it reeked of cigs so badly.
but i put it in there next to his sandwiches (tomato, there was tomato) and so he should find it tonight when he goes to get his dinner.
/nervous/
so i made katy be my little spy and she's going to try to wheedle info if the opportunity arises.

gah.
i feel like a chicken (cuz i am) buuut i realize now i cant actually talk to him unless i know he got the note, unless i say blah blah blah did you get my note? how cliche... anyways. and i SO was ready to go talk to him after that, even tho i couldnt cuz then he'd find the note later and it would make no sense, so i had to pass up a perfect opportunity in the hopes that it would all work out later.

key word = hopes.

so i did something. my cowardice is disappearing. thats exciting, right?

i think.
so yeah.

spanish sucked as usual, just cuz i dont like that class at all. thats why im dropping it next year ^_____^ yaay.

so what else happened... oh yeah.
/smirk/
so i auditioned for the summertime solo in eagleaires.
yes, stephie, i did it, you can be happy now ^__^
and i was like flipping out cuz i thought i did horribly cuz im really sick, right, but everybody's like no you did good.

i thought it was pity... lol.

but normally nozot takes a day or two or three to decide the soloists, but at the end of eagleaires he's all do you wanna know who got it? and we're like ... what? and he's all the summertime solo and we're all umm sure? NO yes NO YES no YESNO NYEOS that kind of thing and then he's like...

'i'd really like charles to do it.'

whoooaaa.
i have a solo,
and its biggun.

shiiit.
lmao tho.
im so still in shock, i swear.
cantbelieve it.

and the best part was, i beat out jeff and trisha, two of egotisticalest eagelaires, and guess who else i beat out?

yup, you guessed it.
so that made my weird unanticipated victory taste a wee bit sweeter :)
^_____________^

1 post| take away my happy ending.

*clings to the chair* [09 Feb 2005|04:47pm]
[ mood | EMOTIONLESS!! ]

i dont want to go to winter percussion.
i hate being in the same room as evan.
its just this weird psychological thing where i get uberpissed/upset just being around him. UGH. somebody assasinate him, plz.

so my spyinvasion thing didnt go how i wanted it to, but it went the way i expected/dreaded. a load of blahblahblah and concluded with a 'if he's got a prob w/ me, he can talk to me about it himself.'

well fuck, that defeats the purpose, now doesnt it?

flippinfuckadoodle.

slap me. i cant belive i just typed that.
anyways...
decided to become a (mostly) emotionless void. i'll still be happy/peppy, but i'll be happy/peppy ALLTHETIME! ^_^ (happy/peppy face) im not going to feel anything bad anymore. and if ppl give up on me, then i'll give up on them. and if ppl dont care about me, then i wont care about them. if ppl hate me, well, i dont give a flying fuck. they can go die for all i care.

ha. for all i care. HAHA. i dont care. what a pun.

and so i begin my days as a (mostly) emotionless void.

hugme.

2 posts| take away my happy ending.

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