Current mood:	crazy
Current music:	Without a Trace on the TiVo
Entry tags:	fandom - spoilers

Did I mention that these spoilers are fake?
Thanks to my connections in the media industry, I just tracked down a stash of superduperawesome fake spoilers for some of my favorite shows! Check 'em out....

House: In the shocking season finale, that rebellious Dr. House does something unorthodox! And puts a patient's life at risk! I've heard that in act two, Cuddy will roll her eyes, Foreman will try to take charge, and Cameron will angst about something or another. Then -- and I hope I'm not giving too much away -- the medical mystery will be solved at approximately 9:51. But the big twist? This time, the medical mystery is that sex... isn't bad. Omigod!

Alias: Sydney wakes up in her apartment in Los Angeles. It's four years previous (four? Three? However many years it's been since The Telling), Evil Francie lies dead on the floor across the room, and it turns out that everything that happened in the past two and a half seasons was all a dream. (Summary courtesy of trinnifer, because -- as with most things Alias -- the original made no sense.)

BSG: Vaughn's married!?! Oh, wait....

Veronica Mars: Turns out that the bus crash was, in fact, caused by rabid squirrels. However, the big shocking twist is that these squirrels had been specially raised by Woody Goodman in collusion with Aaron Echolls, who'd trained them to squeak out "Duncan did it!" as the bus plunged over the cliff. Since the crash, the squirrels have been living in Dick's pants. The B-plot features Veronica and Logan macking on each other while killing all their enemies with toothpicks. In a shameless ratings grab, we discover that Hearst College's campus has been relocated to Lost Island.

Lost: Jack, Ana-Lucia, Kate, and Sawyer finally get naked in the jungle, but they realize they can't get off without a mirror nearby. Locke begins a downward spiral as he tries to see that blacklight map again that Eko keeps trying to foil, culminating with a pissing contest disguised as a "spirit quest". Walt and Michael reappear; nobody remembers them. Claire gets sick of being so damn adorable, so she eats the baby.

American Idol: Ryan Seacrest spontaneously combusts. The world rejoices.

CSI: The team of investigators looks into Ryan Seacrest's spontaneous combustion, only to discover forensic evidence that suggests it's due to all the crack Paula Abdul has been smoking.

The Amazing Race: As they near the finish line, BJ and Tyler perform the final tasks in full clown makeup. Eric and Jeremy mistake the red-and-yellow race flag for a rainbow banner, prompting them to finally declare their love. Phil's eyebrow shoots so high that it actually detaches from his face.

24: In their first bit of common sense all season, the 24 producers bring in Jack Bristow as the new CTU head. He and Jack Bauer become the most kickass alpha-male anti-terrorist team ever, finding new ways to torture puppies, ex-girlfriends, and Kim Bauer. Meanwhile, Chloe spends the whole episode insulting every single member of CTU. Nobody notices anything unusual.

Prison Break: Wentworth breaks out of prison. He finds the outside world so fucked-up that he begs to be let back in.

Gilmore Girls: Those spoilers you've already read? Any fake ones I write couldn't possibly top them.

So, what other fake spoilers have y'all heard? Spill!