chin up

i was thinking about what felecia told me awhile back about good people deserving the best, and that i deserve it. and i believe that good people deserve the best. but lately i've been thinking something that i've been afraid to even think of before...what if that's just not enough? i'm sure there are a lot of good people out there who have ended up alone...or have settled for something less than what they deserve. it's a really depressing thought, isn't it.

yeah. this is going to be a rough weekend, i can already fucking tell. i'm tired of being an angry person. it really and truly wears on me. and i can't continue to go around in this cycle of getting upset, and pouring it all out...to the wrong person. then for a few days i feel better, and it starts all over again. that's why i'm talking to scott now. i want to tell him that he's pissing me off, and he's pissed me off and hurt me really bad.

i guess it's not going to make me feel better, the way i thought it would. too late to go back now. but i still believe it's something that i had to say to him.

i think it's time to bring back my old mantra...chin up