i'm a little freaked out. yesterday and today when i've talked to scott he's not been himself. i hope it's ok. i want him to tell me he'll be ok. i don't know why this upsets me so much...i keep expecting for him to say, 'so look, this just won't work out.' and i keep telling myself that we're just becoming friends again, and IF anything happens between us, it'll be a long time from now. but let's face it...i'm done. i'm head over heels for the boy, and there are a million and one ways he can hurt me. doesn't matter. i want so much from him...i want him to feel the same way for me as i do for him. but honestly...i truly don't expect that to ever happen.

i have to back to swanton tonight for pep band. which i loathe. it's put me in a fantastically bad mood.