i just got a call from my dad...he's coming up friday night and we're going to leave saturday from bowling green. so this is it...
i know when i get home i'm going to be really depressed. i don't want to leave...i'm so sad. i'm going to miss my friends and this place so bad. this has become a place where i fit in. going back home...growing up, it's really scaring me.
the closer it comes to leaving, the worse i feel. i've been dreading this since graduation, but i knew that it had to happen eventually. right now i'm just waiting...i'm in limbo. i'm stuck between being in bg and going home.
i'm not ready...but i don't know if i'll ever be. i'm the kind of person who has to be shoved into a situation, just to do it. i'll never forget how much fun i had in college. people say that the best times of their life were in college. well i really hope that's not the case, because i want the rest of my life to be the best times of my life.
this is the opportunity that i've been waiting for though...literally i can do just about anything i want. i can go places, do things that i've dreamed of. honestly, i don't have to answer to anyone except for myself. i'm a college graduate...i don't have to answer to my parents, or professors or a cooperating teacher. i can choose to do whatever i want...i don't have to do what i'm 'supposed' to do...which is get a job teaching, and do that for the rest of my life. please...i just want to be happy.
i do this all the time...i get really anxious about stuff, then in hindsight it turns out that there was no reason to get so worked up. this is my life...an open road.