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because i was talking to my nana on the phone today and she was telling me she missed the kid things i did. like building forts out of her couch cushions and when i would get really close to the oscillating fan and show her my robot voice.
so there's this saying, "all good things must come to an end."

i believe in that and i don't all at the same time. i don't really think things have an end, they just morph into something different.

according to my info, i've had this journal since: 2004-10-21

during this time i've been kicked out of my house numerous times, gone through countless obsessions, just as many breakups and almost-loves. i've had a friend die, i've gone through more sickness than i want to remember, and i've had possibly the most painful year i could ever experience. i've had a lot of firsts, and a lot of lasts.

i'm on my way to being a happy person. i really believe that, and because i believe that so much, i think it's time that this journal and i part ways.

i'm not moving on to bigger and better things, i'm just moving forward into a new chapter of my life. and i have to tell you, it's fucking hard to move on.

i would LOVE it, if you guys followed me there. just looking back a the last five years, i can tell you...it's going to be a hell of a ride.

if you don't wish to come with me - i totally understand, and i have ZERO hard feelings. i wish you the best of luck and chances are, i probably really love you. so be good.

so without further ado - this will be my last official post under the username veritas_vincit_. a part of me will miss it, and a part of me won't. because i have the inability to actually 100% let go of this journal - i'm going to keep it up as a reminder to myself.

a reminder of all the mistakes i've made, all the things i should have done, and most of the things i shouldn't.

but most important: YOU GUYS
everyone that i'm currently friends with holds a really special place in my heart. as dorky as that sounds. i added all of you for a reason, and most of you are amazing friends and i love you so hard.

the comment wars, gif and macro fights....HOW COULD I DELETE THOSE??
so i won't.
posterity and all that bullshit.

SO - the next time you guys hear from me, i'll be posting my new LJ. (yay, i can see how excited most of you are!) or i'll be just adding you to it. have a little patience while i weed through the old journals and communities and such.

if i don't add you right away - just add ME! shit. i would forget my head if it weren't attached to my shoulders.

well. this is it.

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”
i'm having a freaking hard time finding a new username.

the one that i was SO excited about is already taken. the closet i've gotten after that is a district in japan...

all i know is: i do not want any underscores ( "_" those) and i want it to be one word.

so i apparently also want this to be difficult as shit.
speaking of hookers -

how is this prostitution story getting LESS PRESS than Jaebeom's 'drama'??

i don't even.
The other day I was talking to my friend linda about the guy who was accused as being a client in the prostitution ring that broke a few days ago.

Actually we were talking about how NOW would be the opportune time for Jaebeom to come back to Korea.

I have reasoning…sorta, and it’s going to sound kinda harsh…so bear with me. Participating in an underage prostitution ring is way worse, in my opinion, than calling a country gay four years ago on a myspace comment.

So in my dream, I was at an airport and I was dressed in this really cute business outfit. I’m slightly impatient for some reason, because I keep tapping my foot and checking my watch. Then this tiny asian guy (who looks like he’s from seattle) in a white hat comes up to me. I hand him his plane ticket and I start to inform him of how we’ll be handling this situation.

We’re traveling to korea at night, so that netizens don’t catch track and I’ve paid off pretty much anyone who could possibly have recognized him.

I’m serious now. This dream was SO vivid.

We get to korea and we book a hotel and we wait for 2pm to come back to korea. They were out of the country for some reason. The band doesn’t even know he’s coming back but i’ve been in constant contact with JYP and we’ve got a plan.

2pm is going to perform 10 out of 10 and during Jays rap bit, they’ve prepared a dance break whatever because OF COURSE they would never just sing over jay’s bit.

Jay and I get to whatever place the band is performing at RIDIC early and we hide out in one of the rooms and just sit out and talk over everything. This is how he’s going to answer THESE questions and THESE are the questions he’s going to ignore and THIS is all the stuff he’s not going to be able to do for a while…and it wouldn’t hurt to get his picture taken with dying kids. You know…stuff like that. then we have this really serious conversation about if he's really ready for this. really ready because after this, there is no second chance. we could just catch a flight back to the states and no one would ever know. if he doesn't want to come back, he doesn't have to. but...he won't be able to come back.

it's his last chance in more than one way.

I can't even begin to describe to you the seriousness of that conversation.

So 2pm performs whatever song they're promoting at the moment and then they go into 10 out of 10 and when they go to do their dance jay comes busting out from the side and does the rap and everyone freaks their shit. like the band, the fans. everyone. freaks. out.

And that was my dream. It was ridiculously detailed, so much so, that i woke up with goosebumps and spent twenty minutes logging onto my dad's FUCKING DIALUP to check that it didn't actually happen.

and I’m pretty sure that if it was put into action…it might actually work. Because like I said, prostitution is WAY worse than calling a country gay.

brit is going to be PIIIIISSED (BB text me when you see this!!)
yoseob looks adorable as always trying to look all hard and shit.
brb watching ouran high school host club for the millionth time because i can't freaking fall asleep.

(remember how i said i don't work when it rains? that rule does NOT apply to snow. i work in the snow because everyone hates salt on their cars. FML)
so because one of my jobs is a "weather permitting" job (meaning, i don't work if it's raining) i always check the radar before going into work.

so i checked it about twenty minutes ago and it pretty much looked like it was going to rain straight through the day.

so when my dad called, i mentioned this and he said he would call me back once he checked. (because LOL i lie about rain?)

so he checks and calls me back and is MAD that there will be rain? not only is he mad..he's mad at me.

because i make it rainism or something i don't even know.

i can see being mad that it's raining, because it means his business will be closed today and he'll make no money. but being upset with ME is just ridiculous.

he said "yeah, you can stay home if you want."

i'm trying to explain to him that it's not what i WANT, it's what's practical. because if i'm there, i'm on the timecard. you know? if i'm physically AT the job, i'm going to be paid for sitting there and watching it rain. not only ME, but my sister works there too.

he agreed and he said he'll go in anyway and work on some paperwork, but lindsey was going to come too because SHE had paperwork to do.

....what. what PAPERWORK does my sister have? she works six hours a week. what the fuck paperwork does she have.

now i'm goddamned paranoid.
i forgot i had all those My Little Pony toys in my room so i went and bought beads to make some necklaces only to discover that the toys are 100% solid plastic.

so operation: make necklaces is a resounding failure.

i'll figures something out though. ihope
also, i have two pictures (on of GD and one of Top) that i've never seen before and i figured maybe some of you haven't?

and some junhyung gifs that make me a happy camper

i'll put them under a cut because i'm feeling generous and i don't want to fuck up your flist.

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