| Mandatory karate post (every once and awhile.) |
[11 Jul 2006|09:05pm] |
I don't think that I've had a slurpee in a number of years and now I want one. To be honest with you, I think I forgot about their existence. With the McCann's here we used to go to the 7-11 all of the time, but now I just wait in the car while other people go in and get their miscallaneous items. That's neither here nor there, however, because now I am royally confused. I tie my belt my way! It doesn't feel loose the way I do it, the tape is on the right side, etc. It is very odd, as an ik-kyu, to have someone tying my belt for me. (It's probably weirder as a black belt.) We spent 20 minutes in class tying our belts this evening. It was remarkable. ;) *coughsarcasmcough*
It is always strange not being at class for a longer stretch of time. Generally, I don't miss every class in a week. Almost always, I'm at one class if not both (sometimes all three, but then I do have a great deal of make up to do... vicious cycle, this.) Not being at class for two weeks during summer (as in, not the Christmas/New Year break) is going to be very strange. Especially now. Not that it wouldn't have been weird last year... but y'know. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but it struck me as something I had to do. Either way, ciao! July 13-25.
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| Boredom owns. |
[11 Jul 2006|04:35pm] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| × I miss somebody right now. |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (mostly it's shit, anyway.) |
✓ I own lots of books. (and feel bad because i haven't read them all.) |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. |
× I love to play video games. |
× I've tried marijuana. |
| × I've watched porn movies. |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
× I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (actually, a lot.) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on...Collapse )
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| Literature meme. |
[09 Jul 2006|03:18pm] |
What are your five favorite books, and how have they influenced you?
1. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer-Bradley - this always made me feel real, for some reason. It's remarkably odd. The earthen-ness of this book has always felt so much more natural to me than computers, iPods, cellphones have made me feel. This has influenced me in a creative fashion because of the fullness of the story, how so much is revealed but not revealed. And in a personal way because it has always been apart of my life; my mother read it to me when I was very young.
2. The Godfather, Mario Puzo - this is actually the most recent book that I've read, so I'm not sure how it will affect me. However, there is a mastery in Puzo's creative voice. He tells you what's going to happen, so you're prepared for the emotional blow of certain deaths. But he also keeps you in the dark with some of the most important parts of the plot. Also, the masculinity. While the above book is matriarchy, this is clearly patriarchy. It's interesting.
3. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen - I love this story. It's corny, it's predictable, I know. I don't care. Mr. Darcy is a really cool character and always will be. He's a quiet aristocrat who is in love with a shrewish woman well below his birth. Madness and wit ensues. Nothing too serious, but has some really wonderful moments. This hasn't necessarily influenced me in anyway, but it has made me want to write about a couple of such passionate disagreement (see, Much Ado About Nothing.)
4. Wicked, Gregory MacGuire - The musical brings me great pain. This book, however, explores both the good and evil parts of Elphaba's psyche. It's never clear whether she is a good witch or a bad witch (like how in The Wizard of Oz, she's a bad witch; in Wicked (the musical), she's a good witch.) This has definitely influenced me creatively in that I try not to paint any character as good or bad. There always is a grey area. Though, I will say, none of them have ever committed murder.
5. Fight Club, Chuck Palaniuk - Distinctively masculine and very well written. It's honest, it's brutal, that's always great. There's almost something like an omerta in it (the first two rules of fight club.)
What about you people? Just curious.
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| Post 2006 karate camp. |
[30 Jun 2006|04:06pm] |
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I'm pretty scared. Fuck that, I'm very scared. We drive home and Sussex County looks different to me; I'm seeing things that I never saw before, and that sounds totally irrational but it's true. Everything has shifted, a higher plane of existence. I am very, very old. Everything is in motion and there is nothing I can do to change any of it -- not that I want to change any of it, I just feel so powerless. This is all not real. Please don't comment with anything inspirational, oh you can do it, blahblahblah. I know all of that, I know that in the end I have the capacity and the strength. I GET THAT. Truly. Everything is happening now. The things for which I have been waiting are arriving. Time is an astonishing thing.
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From  life_disguised. |
[23 Jun 2006|01:30pm] |
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
1. The Boy in the Bubble, Paul Simon
2. Seek Up (live), Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds
3. Migra, Santana
4. Romeo and Juliet, Brown Derbies
5. Mad Girl's Love Song, Fisher (Sylvia Plath put to music, it's pretty cool.)
6. Somewhere Across Forever, Stellastarr*
7. My First Lover, Gillian Welch
tag: anyone who wants to be it, you're hit!
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| Overheard in Borders, Rockaway Mall. |
[10 Jun 2006|05:35pm] |
Typical Jersey Mom: James Earl Jones reads the Bible (as in a book on tape.)
Teenager with white boy fro and birkenstocks: I think he was better as Darth Vader.
This made me laugh for some reason, and I figured anyone who's anyone might get some sort of a kick out of it, too.
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| This is a major achievement, I daresay. |
[07 Jun 2006|02:43pm] |
Having had no sleep in over 24 hours, one cup of tea, a couple sips of coffee with sugar and cream, and 3/4 of a plain bagel with cream cheese, I sat through and understood Tom Stoppard's, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. All three hours of it. I did not read the play prior to seeing it, though I have done a tremendous amount of work on Hamlet, as I have repeatedly said. But what do I have to say for myself? HEADS!
(The actors rehearsed for only ONE MONTH and have started performing it. It is awe-inspiring.)
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| Oh, hi. |
[06 Jun 2006|01:45pm] |
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Considering as I very, very rarely post (though I do read and comment every now and again, I promise) I still have very little to say. Lots of things have happened (19 days to karate camp, 38 to Italy, I think), but nothing that I could gloss up and make interesting for an entry. It's either raining here or ungodly hot, so that's been messing with everyone. Actually, everything has been messing with everyone. Over the past two weeks, I ended up taking ten rolls of film. I am really quite numb, right now, and I'm totally drained from the past several months. It's really kind of frightening to think that everything is coming up very, very fast. This is all. Sorry for such an uneventful post.
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[18 Apr 2006|04:23pm] |
( Meme. Oy.Collapse )
What's the price of gas where you live (ex. New Jersey)? Curiosity kills the consumer.
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| Martha, my love. |
[11 Apr 2006|10:16am] |
Every page of my notebook has blue veins, a silver-y skeleton, and white blood cells. I use mechanical pencils because anything else makes my handwriting look like shit. There is no backspace key while using long-hand, but I am so obsessive-compulsive that my erasers may as well be that key on a few seconds delay. An electronic dictionary fixes up my spelling, and my proof-reading skills cleans up any questionable grammar. Generally, when writing out so slowly, there are very few mistakes. Though, I will say that I use a thesaurus because they are far too much fun. My notebook, scrap paper, and otherwise, is all very neat and organized. My speech about Orson Welles' Mercury Theatre production of War of the Worlds is plotted out neatly, point-by-point, followed by quick facts such as H.G. Welles and 1938.
The annoying aspect of my personality is the fact that some things will contradict my better judgment. I like people (I'm an extrovert), but they are tedious and horrible and I hate them, sometimes. You modify your public vocabulary because it was annoying, and then people treat you like you are inferior. But, I must be honest, my disdain is not for people but for the people specifically of my generation. Why, do you ask? Education. Plain and simple. The public educational system puts people in this box of do-not-think-outside; even if you have potential you must squelch it or we will repress you into a black hole. All academia seems to be, at this point, is people's view of their own intelligence and helping others to see how smart they are. Getting an A does not indicate that you are intelligent, it indicates that you are very good at taking certain tests in very narrow subjects. I know people who are intelligent who have shit grades, and people, who proclaim themselves to be stupid, get straight As. I'm sorry, but I don't think you're as intelligent as you thought if you're in that company.
Creativity and intelligence are not intrinsically bound together. People do not seem to realize that simply because you do not understand something, it is not good. Also, they do not seem to see that simply because it is good in class, does not mean that you are creative. But, to be perfectly honest, I think a lot of people who say that they are artistic are full of shit. I'm an elitist, I will not tell a lie (on this matter.) Whatever gives me the right to say that can be argued, feel free. But, I know that a lot of teachers in the public educational system prefer certain students over others, no matter how quality their work is over another's. For example, why do girls do so much better in school? Because girls know how to sit still as opposed to boys, who are not always capable of such. Does this mean that a girl is more intelligent than a boy? Does that mean that the girl put in more hours of work for a certain project than a boy? No, not always.
I guess, if you want the synopsis of what I just said: The public educational system is bullshit and they are giving kids a false sense of intelligence; and, simply because you do art does not mean that you are an artist. Actually, the majority of academia is bullshit. Or all of it. However, I see the point in college because 1) you have a degree and then, in our society, can make more money and 2) it gets you away from your natural habitat, in most instances. But, Christ, I think this country is in for a lot of problems when my generation comes of age, in full.
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| Lie to yourself forever. |
[01 Apr 2006|06:24pm] |
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Where to begin? Well, to be truthful, some intensively weird things have happened as of late but nothing of which I feel the need to be particularly forthcoming. Everything, as far as I know, is going very well (including Goddard, thankyouverymuch.) About 12 days into spring and it was nearing 80 degrees recently, and I am so ready for summer. One month into the "important course" and I am ready for the semester to be over. However, I am quite sure that I am not the only person who is of that sentiment. Really, since I have so little that I feel I can say (if only for the fact that I am too lazy to write it), I have no idea why I am still sitting here, writing this. I'm sorry. This was pointless. How are you guys doing?
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| Polish Catholic. |
[17 Mar 2006|12:15pm] |
Today is the only day ever, in all of the year, that I feel bad about being Scottish rather than Irish. To remedy that, in my small way, I intend on drinking beer while wearing green pajama pants (fuck spring break. No, I haven't gone to Cancun, I've lounged around and worked on Goddard stuff. Goddard starts with G which green also starts with. Coincidence? I think... probably.) Really, right now, there is so much I should be doing. All I feel like doing is listening to music, and I haven't listened to any of my CDs in such a long time (curse of the iPod.) I'm blessed though, so blessed it's fucking beautiful. But, I had this dream where I couldn't run fast enough and someone had to pull me along while they were running. I'm starting to think that something's ganging up on me, and I have the feeling that the theme that I heard this morning was just from my head. But, today is a good day. Now I have to do stuff. Fuck spring break. I would have had an excuse to be lazy if spring break did not exist today! Damn it all to hell!
Now, if you can explain the reason I posted this, I'll give you a gold star. Considering as I have no idea, it's really up to the best interpretation. (You're a sell-out, you use a cellphone. I'm very disappointed in you.)
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[15 Mar 2006|09:30pm] |
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It's interesting to me. There's something that this music that speaks to me, in an almost unacceptable way. Inexplicable. And no, you probably would not understand what I'm posting this. Further more, I have no reason to explain why I feel the need to post this. ( Ryan Adams - essay on hotels, etc.Collapse )
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| My dear Lady Disdain -- are you yet living? |
[09 Mar 2006|05:49pm] |
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Men wonder why I don't have a boyfriend. Women don't wonder, they think it's good that I don't so I can focus on my education and things such as that. Yes, I do have my own musings on these subjects. And, to be perfectly honest, I have always enjoyed reading and/or seeing story-book romances with termagant women (i.e. Much Ado About Nothing, Pride and Prejudice, etc.), and fancied myself the woman in those roles. Though, I have often wondered why I have not come across any for two women. See, the male characters in those aforementioned stories are written in the way that I would choose a lover. I love the never-failing wit (perhaps, more even, the never shutting up); and, to be contradictory, the strong silent time who is awkward without knowing someone. The intelligence is striking, though the looks never hurt. But, while there are some men who I think are worthy of me, I have very little attraction to the majority of their sex (even though they may have the qualities which I prefer.) Why haven't I read stories in which I could be the termagant female character to another female character? I wonder what people would think!
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| Madness be this! |
[28 Feb 2006|04:02pm] |
Where to begin? It isn't as if I've been a very active LJer for quite a long time in terms of posting or commenting. Don't think that I haven't been reading, because I most assuredly have been. I've even been reading some of the more tedious journals on my list (read: if you're reading this, you are not one of them.) It's not like there hasn't been much going on; on the contrary, as it always is, there is an excess of things going on. Of course, there are things going on which I do not want to post here for public consumption or for specific people. As for things of a less delicate nature which have been going on, it's all mundane student bullshit. Many of you know the drill of sleep, food, class, food, sleep... or a schedule similar. My classes are going well which I feel like I have said every single entry I have made since the beginning of this semester. My effective speaking teacher is, "the best teacher. Period." which I am tending to agree with, especially in any school systems.
There is supposed to be a snowstorm in Vermont on Thursday which means that my mother and I are leaving early for Goddard College. That means that we are leaving tomorrow morning and spending five days in Vermont. For those of you whom I have recently been speaking with over AIM, you know that I am really, really, really excited about the program and blah, blah, blah. That is yet another which I am tired of recounting. Désolée for either the tedium or the ambiguity. CCSC kids get to do a stupid concert which is going to be televised on the local channel. I get to go off and be intelligent with a playwright who has degrees in theatre. My education rocks the socks off of yours, man. ;) Other than that, I simply need to be packing and things of that nature. Be well.
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| 12:07. So much to do. |
[20 Feb 2006|12:07am] |
As it is the 51st day of the year, I have completed 15 books (three of which Francesca Lia Block while the rest have been purely Shakespeare) and already gotten through one of six speeches for my speaking class. I have been writing more since the demise of the writing group in October which left me without any deadlines to attend to for my artistry (if you choose to call it that.) Last night, while dreaming, I wrote a poetic form which I have been meaning to write for sometime now. It was horrible. I'm glad I slept through it. However, I hope to re-write it while lucid (yes, lucid) and wide-eyed. Not tonight.
My hair has become wavy and that is really, really quite odd as my hair has never been wavy. It has, in the past, been longer so it might be the four inches less of weight has given it bounce. Recently, my mother has joined an artistic community via yahoo groups consisting mostly of unschoolers. Yesterday someone mentioned having a retreat, and my mother theorized that it might be held in North Carolina. That is, if it ever happens. Cool, right? Especially with all of the "Experience North Carolina" ads they've been running up here in the past week. Oh well.
What I want to do today is finish up Henry V (which, I feel as though I didn't need to read as I saw it live), do several algebra lessons (to prepare for bullshit), and start another book. I found Dante's, The Divine Comedy in our bookshelf today which leads me to believe that there might be some other books which I've been meaning to read in the house. However, that can wait until I finish Shakespeare. (My public speaking teacher thought I was an English major. Then he told me to pursue theatre. Everyone tells me both of these things: it's odd.) I am happy. I hope you are.
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| Curling -- for those who love watching trainwrecks. |
[19 Feb 2006|07:19pm] |
While I do not totally understand it -- and the fact that I hate that I've actually been enjoying the motherfucking Olympics -- I am fascinated by curling. I do kind of get it, truth be told, but it is such a boring game. It seems like a mix of bowling, hockey, shuffle board, cleaning (as in cleaning the house with brooms) and maybe a couple of other things. It is so painful to watch, but I feel like I have to see the end of it. Or else. Or else what, do you ask? I will miss the end of the boring curling match, is what! Men's curling is a lot more interesting than the women's curling, I must say. Though, I do not know why. The men play a more aggressive game with more strategy, and the women just seem rather bored with the game themselves.
Bode Miller was homeschooled. Raise your hand if you knew that Peekaboo Street was also homeschooled. I remember watching the Olympics when she was skiing, and I had no idea she was homeschooled until two days ago. She made me like Chapstick. (That's a lie.) There is so much that, in the past three days, I could have been doing... but I haven't. However, I do feel proud of the fact out of all of my dojo I was the first to hand in my karate camp application. I handed in the application, actually, the class following to having gotten the application (and I was the first to get the application.) So as long as I'm the first to get in my money for the kanpai, I will feel like I've proved myself when it comes to signing up for karate events. (Last year, I was definitely one of the last people signed up for camp because I wasn't sure if I was going. Hence, why I feel that I have to prove myself. It's probably more about proving myself to myself, but that's okay.)
There are plenty of other things going on, but I feel more inclined to discontinue writing here and think to myself that I will actually do something productive once I get off of the computer. Not that I will, or anything like that. All of the classes which I'm taking are going fairly well, though photography is giving me a bit of trouble. However, in concerns to photography, I think I will be having more fun later on in the semester. At least, I hope so. The most important thing I've learned in the past several days is that the terminology for brass knuckles is tekko. Awesome!
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| I know you all. |
[12 Feb 2006|10:45pm] |
This has been an unexciting but moderately busy week despite the fact that I have been procrastinating my ass off about things which are rather important. In photography all I did was make lots and lots of photograms (which turned out pretty well after I figured out exactly what I was doing.) My mom and I went to see an African drum band at Sussex and, despite the fact that Sussex County is boring and does not dance, the African dancers just started pulling people out of the audience at the end of the set. By the end of the concert everyone seemed to be having fun. I have to give my speech on finger knitting on Thursday, and while I have some preliminary ideas of how to go about it, I really have not given it too much thought. This semester is deceptive -- these classes are really easy to bullshit around in and that kind of frightens me (because I want As, period.) We'll see by the end of the semester. Actually, we'll see once the Goddard College program starts up (beginning of March.) Lord, this is an interesting year so far.
Yesterday I went to the concert that Katie was in (Regents and/or Regions, I'm not actually sure which the name is 'cause I very rarely listen.) The SATB choir did some absolutely awesome songs and the treble choir had a stunning Alleluia by a living, female composer. I think our (CCSC) choir should do that for Italy, it had such a beautiful sound. Man, so pretty. However, on top of the revelation that I have recently come to about sleep, I have come to another conclusion about myself: I am a fucking critic. I am such a critic and I have never really realized this fact until Saturday. That is really stupid. The thing is that I am critical of almost everything despite the fact that I am either 1) not proficient in the subject or 2) not understanding the subject at all. I rock. I am also away too much on AIM, says John. Oh well.
After my, I think, 6th makeup class for karate Mr. N was like, "Okay, so what's going on..." so I explained it and he's okay with it. To be frank, I was almost afraid that one day he would say, "No, you may not take this class as a makeup." It was kind of funny because on Saturday night, I had a dream that Mr. H said, "Get ready!" and, at Katie's house, I got into a seisan fighting stance under the covers. You would think that I would have had an interesting karate dream, but no! -- a random one! Featuring Mr. H! There you go. It was interesting on Saturday's class, to me, that after having been on suansu since camp (not having finished it) and then finishing it three weeks ago and now I've just started sanchin. But, not going to say that I mind, because... you know what that means. (Actually, I guess, most of you don't. What it means is that when I finish sanchin, I will go onto bo. And bo is bo. Yay bo.) :D Be well all of you.
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| Cry, "Wolf!" |
[07 Feb 2006|03:29pm] |
Poor, poor Connie did not get to come to A Midsummer Night's Dream this morning because her car, basically, broke down. :( However, the others came and Jamie (associate director of the educational department at The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey) filled the theatre with homeschoolers. It was rather impressive how much networking he had done for this performance. It was the first showing of the new Shakespeare Live's cast of Midsummer and it was awesome. They were so fresh and Helena was hilarious, the mask for Bottom was perfect, and Puck succeeded in making everyone laugh. However, I still don't understand why Hippolyta is portrayed almost timidly. She doesn't act timid, and wasn't she the queen of the Amazons or something? Majorly strong female figure is what I've always imagined her to be. (I've seen this live prior to this and I wasn't satisifed, and I'll be seeing in in March again, hopefully.) Maybe it's me, though?
Effective Speaking was in session today and he is an awesome teacher. He told us that he had the plague and that cognac and vitamin C seemed to work. It was weird because prior to class I was reading Henry 4, pt. 2, and he asked me what I was reading. I told him and he said that he had had a dream that night that he and his friend were fighting over who was going to play Falstaff in a production of that play. It was weird, I must say. He had us pull an Aesop moral out of an envelope and then write a fable about it, and we all had to tell our little story as an impromtu speech. He gave us 8 minutes to write something, but I wasn't happy what it was that I wrote. So I winged something about a guinea hen and a fox. I've finally used a guinea hen in an articulate way and I think that it's awesome. However, that be all. Be well.
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