Well, she gave me the good stuff... CODINE Syrup! Problem is I'm coughing so hard Im finding it difficult to drive him and the idea of having the prescription filled I'd more than I can handle at the mo.

And also.... I got an appt to have my ears taken care of! Andee was right, I need to have them looked at quarterly in order to avoid deafness!



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They make you wait for 30 minutes at the Doctors office in a hospital gown in an examining room with the ac cranked Up. Not.
Seriously, they should make all healthcare personell go through what patients go through so they can see what it feels like to be ignored, made uncomfortable and have their time wasted and their medical concerns sloughed off in the 5 minutes they actually get to see a doctor. They get away with it because were all so relieved to have health insurance that well take the crappy treatment we can get.

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Sorry people... I just need to rant. Please skip if you don't enjoy tmi about earwax. I'm writing this on my phone otherwise it would go behind a cut.

So every once in a while I get such severe ear blockage that I am rendered practically deaf. It was so bad this morning that I actually overslept. My alarm didn't go off and I couldn't hear all the normal things that would wake me up like my roommates getting ready for work and my neighbor's car.

I have tried many things to prevent this in the past... None of them work. Obviously this is a serious problem as I'm so close to deaf that I can barely hear today, making it difficult to communicate with others... Which is sort of my job. I can't really say, "sorry my ears are clogged with wax, making me partially deaf." without grossing everyone out.

I'm frustrated. Last time it was this bad I had to go to the walk in clinic to get it taken care of. I'm embarassed, and I don't like to think of somebody else cleaning out my ears. Home remedies are not cutting it though. I have tried cue tips, saline solutions, leaving it alone, chewing gum, yawning, swallowing, no dice. Tomorrow I am teaching two really challenging classes so I would like to get it resolved before then. I have no idea what to do.

If I run into you and I just smile vacantly and nod when you ask me something, now you'll know why. Grumble.

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 My Auntie Mary Plagenza, a lifelong resident of East Boston, MA, passed away today at the age of 91.

The world has lost a funny, sweet, wonderful human being. My grandma has lost a sister and a friend. 

We always called her "Little Mary" because she was a wee little person and in our family full of grand matriarchs with formidable bottoms, being tiny is indeed something to remark upon. She alway tiny. When she was born she was so small and weak that my great grandparents wrapped her up and put her in the door of a warm oven to keep her cozy throughout the night. In those days that was probably the only source of heat in the tiny walk up apartment they lived in. Her sisters, my Nana Rose and my Aunt Carmie would tease her about that for the rest of her life. 

Little Mary grew up to be a strong and scrappy lady. She was an avid swing dancer and went out dancing regularly into her 80s. She was a talented knitter and could crochet almost anything as the copious baby booties, doll sweaters and monogramed blankets my sister and I have received as gifts over the years can attest. She had funny little buck teeth that I most certainly inherited and later corrected with braces and she had an infectious little chortle that I will never be able to get out of my head. She was always laughing or making jokes about something. Unlike my Nana she wasn't flaky and she lacked the flair for sarcasm that Auntie Carmie is famed for. She was just a happy, positive upbeat human being.

She was married to an utter sweetheart of a man, my Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe was famed for constantly shuffling around underfoot in the kitchen on holidays, peeping under pots on the stove when he thought my mom wasn't looking. He used to call my sister and I his little, "Patatas", Italian for potatoes. I never heard either of them complain or say a negative word about anything. They always seemed so happy and so in love. They were one of those elderly couples that was still always smooching each other. Uncle Joe passed away when I was a teenager but Mary never remarried. Until she passed away she would mention him with fondness, dare I even say schoolgirlish-ness, it was so evident that she was still in love with the kind, handsome, funny little man she married years ago. If I live to love somebody that way, I will consider myself a lucky woman. 

Mary and my Nana were very close. Most Sundays Mary's son would drive her to my grandma's house and they would spend the day hanging out, chatting and drinking coffee with my Auntie Carmie who lives across they way. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting around the kitchen table with the three of them and my sister, telling stories and whooping it up. Now I'll never get to hear Mary's stories again. 

I wish for so many things. I wish I'd actually gone over there and recorded them talking for Story Corps like I had planned to. I hope I listened hard enough to her when she was talking. I hope I can remember her, honor her. About a year ago, Mary's memory started to fail. We'd go to visit her and she'd forget things she'd just told us, eventually she needed reminding of who Kristin and I were. Last August my mother went to visit her and Mary didn't remember her either. This is significant because Mary was like a second mother to my mom. Shortly after my mom was born my grandmother had to have surgery and couldn't take care of my mother. As an infant my mom lived with Mary for several months, who cared for her as if she was her own child. By fall she was completely senile and they moved her into a nursing home two weeks ago. My mom and grandmother had been waiting for her to get settled before going to visit her, but her heart gave out unexpectedly. None of us got a chance to say goodbye.

I grieve for my grandmother who has lost a sister, I don't know how I could live without mine. I grieve for myself too though. Not only have I lost a loved one, I feel like I'm losing my family history too, my connection to my past and where I come from. There really is no geneology for my family. I come from simple people, who were born and lived and died in the same place, worked hard to raise families and put food on the table and didn't care about making a mark beyond that. They didn't write things down. The little I know about my great grandparents I know from the stories Rose, Carmie and Mary told me. Before my great grandparents, I know nothing. My ancestors were illiterate peasants in Italy who came here without records. In losing the elderly of my family, I'm losing a part of myself and my history, I'm losing something I had hoped to pass down to future generations.

When you are young your grandparents seem to have existed forever and it seems like they will always exist. I can't tell you how much I wished I had spent more time with my Papa before he became senile. As he started to slip away his testiness and unpredictability made him difficult to spend time with, so I pulled away, we all did.  I could never have imagined my papa not knowing who I was or even who he was anymore, but this is what has happened. He sits in a nursing home all day now not knowing who he is or where he is or what day it is, I don't even know if he even knows what a day is anymore. In a strange way it is as if he is already dead. My Papa, a great man who flew planes in WWII, built massive brick buildings with his own two hands and used to sing "How Great Thou Art" in a rich baritone that still gives me chills to think about. My grandfather doesn't even know his own name anymore. 

After I lost my own papa I realized just how fragile the lives of the people we love are. I started spending more and more time with my grandmother and my aunts. I started actually listening to their stories. I started actually telling them my stories instead of just reporting back facts in my life about how I was doing in school, my apartment, etc. I loved listening, I loved talking and sharing with them. It is never enough though, my Little Mary is gone and I still feel like I didn't know her well enough.

I write because nobody else in my family ever cared to write about themselves. I write to honor them and remember them. When I was in second grade I got a brand new notebook with a shiny pearlized cover and a fat new pencil and I vowed to write the story of my grandmother's life down. I realize now that part of the reason why I was so fascinated by it was because it is partially my story too. My aunts and grandma performed backyard theatricals,  painted, crafted and drew, made their own clothing and were widely considered the most fashionable sisters in the neighborhood. That's where I come from, that's part of what makes me who I am. 

It's official!

I am so proud of my country right now, and proud of my PRESIDENT ELECT OBAMA.

More tomorrow.

Garlic shrimp with broccoli and roasted red peppers on a bed of spinach pasta.

personally i think the dish could have used a little more garlic, or some cheese, or even a shot of the spicy chile oil i used when i made tapas.

however, it was tasty, filling and suprisingly quick when you buy the frozen pre-cleaned shrimp form trader joe's, and now i have tasty lefotovers!

Tuna and white bean salad with tomato and cucumber.

And do you want to know what's awesome about gmail? I can email ALL my recipies to myself, label them all as recipies, and when I want to find something to cook I can just pull up that label and have all my recipies right there!

All hail gmail!

Roasted red peppers with brown rice and veggie enchilladas.

Okay...so the enchilladas were Amy's. I feel less guilty about eating Amy's frozen meals because they are just the type of food I'd make for myself if I wasn't so damn busy.

I really need a good enchillada recipie. Any ideas?

Okay, off to finish lunch and then get cooking for Deb's Bday!

She's gonna go squee-a-riffic when she sees the cake my sister made!!

ee cummings

cambridge resident

baldwin school student


crls graduate

flouter of (standard) grammar





has



a



birthday



today



i invite all of you to shun uppercase letters in his honor today

Curried Chinese spice tofu with green beans and cous cous.

mmm... mmm... mmm!

At The Plow and the Stars

Like Tom Waits, with fewer cigarettes and more blues.


A good reason to go out on a Sunday night.

watching the adventures of pete and pete on dvd was a great way to end a day that i mostly spent feeling crummy, crampy and sniffly.

i love a good quirky kid's show with a garage band sountrack and guest appearances by mike stipe and iggy pop.

they just don't make shows like that anymore...

I'D BE GOING to THIS CLUB NIGHT IN A CERTIAN UNMARKED WAREHOUSE TONIGHT:

friday 6th october 06
WAKIZASHI 11PM - 6AM,
A brand new night of non-stop hectic music & partying, hosted at the legendary and infamous Electrowerkz!
Wakizashi is set to be London's most diverse and original alternative night! Wakizashi's only policy is not to take things seriously, it's all about the party!
A TRULY HECTIC MIX OF SOUNDZ: METAL / INDUSTRIAL / DARK D'N'B / HIP-HOP / SKA / PUNK / CROSSOVER / ALTERNATIVE BEATS / ROCK / DUB / NASTY ELECTRONICA / BLUES / BASHMENT / FUNK N JUNK / BREAK-BEATS / TRIP-HOP / EMO / + PLUS MORE!


CURSE BOSTON'S LACK OF VARIETY IN NIGHTLIFE!!!!!!!!!!

One of the things I love about clubbing in London (besides how effin' friendly Londoners get when you put a few drinks in them) is how the DJs aren't afraid to be totally random. They go all over the place with genre and even at the most hopelessly hip clubs they aren't afraid to rock Queen or the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. There's no fear of not playing certian music because it doesn't fit into the club's "image". C'mon' we know even the sulkiest hipsters know all the words to Killer Queen, so why fake it?

I miss it.

And now to nap.

My Own Creation!

1 box pasta
1 box firm tofu
2 jars tomato and basil sauce
2 cups of shredded cheese
4 cups chopped zucchin & squash
4 cups chopped portabella and shitake mushrooms
1/4 cup sun dried tomato to taste

Boil your pasta
Dice veggies, season and sautee to taste
Crumlbe up tofu, season to taste

When the veggies and pasta are done, layer in the pan. Top with cheese.
Bake 35 minutes and enjoy.

Something tasty awaits me after kickboxing!!

beck is now at the point where he keeps writing the same song over and over again.

however, it is the same AWESOME song, so i guess i don't have a problem with that.


okay, time for bed.

The English beat w/ members of Madness and The Specials rocks my world.

It was one of those shows where the band was having as much fun as the audience and even the security guards couldn't hide the fact that they were having a blast.

Covers of Specials songs such as Monkey Man and Nike Klub were highlights.


I think I pulled my skanking muscle....

I just wanted an excuse to use my Wayne icon!

Seeing the Lips last night really got me reminiscing about all the great shows I've gone to in the past. So here they are in no particular order. I'm sure I'll be adding to/revising this list in the future.

9/10/06 The Flaming Lips @ BOA Pavillion. They smothered us in ticker tape and covered War pigs. Not much more to say.

August 2005 Gogol Bordello @ The Paradise. I came with shoes and a purse. When the show ended I was barefoot dancing on stage with no shoes and no purse, and too fucking happy to give a shit.

Fall 2003 Rancid and The Slackers with Tiger Army at Avalon. Hearing Rancid always turns me into a 16 year old again. And the Slackers? Well they even got the hardcore punks dancing and they played a cover of Guns of Brixton that nearly tore the fucking house down.

Fall 2001 Bjork and Matmos at the Wang. SO what if I gave up tickets to Joe Strummer to go to this show and then he dropped dead less than a year later. Everyone I know who went to see Joe Strummer left with a massive bodily wound. All I left Bjork with was a massive smile plastered across my face that rendered me speechless for hours.

Fall 2001 Tom Tom Club @ The Living Room in Providence.
Take me to the river...drop me in the water, the water...

Summer 2001 Patti Smith @ The Paradise. I was going through such a tough time in my life at that moment and then I saw Patti light the house on fire and that's when my life started to change. She's a warrior queen, a shaman, invincible and vulnerable all at the same time. There isn't enough I can say about the way Patti influenced my perception of female power, expression and sexuality. All I know is that she gave a voice to something I knew was out there but couldn't quite define.

Summer 2001 David Byrne @ The Paradise. David Fuckin' Byrne. That's all I have to say.

Winter 2000 Flaming Lips, surprise show @ Axis. I stood in the sleet for 2 hours to get those tickets. I had puppet sex with Wayne, hugged strangers, and had to shake the confetti out of my clothes for months after. Still the only time I've been genuinely moved to tears by a concert.

Summer 1997 Beck @ The Horde Festival. I was seventeen. It was my first concert. beck rocked the house. Nuff said.

Honorable Mention:

Summer 2005 Sleatter-Kinney @ Avalon. They played a cover of Danzig's Mother. I died a little death.

Summer 2005 The Pixies at the Paradise. Black Francis, his laugh as evil as ever. Kim Deal as sexy as ever.

Fall 2001 Sonic Youth At Lupo's. Don't call them Sonic Middle age. Even the barrage of sweaty hipsters couldn't stop me from enjoying the show.

Fall 2001 basement Jaxx at Avalon. The announcer came out and told us before the show that it was going to be like New Year's Eve in Las Vegas. It really was.

Do YOU have any good show stories to share?

OR: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Lips.

Yeah. Remember when I said that I was afraid seeing the Flaming Lips in a bigger venue would be depressing?

I was lying.

The show was wildly fan fucking tastic. Well to start off, those last minute seats I got were in the 4th row... the 4th row! FROM THE STAGE! Now their fans are all wee and tyke-like. Dorky AV high school boys that are totally into the music. The type of boys I was friends with. I just wanted to scoop them all up and hug and kiss them all and thank them for being teenagers with good taste!

As for worrying about my favorite band selling out and phonining it in, well... I never should have doubted Wayne and the boy's commitment to complete and utter visual and stereophonic joy. They are a band that has clearly given some thought to how their live shows will read in a larger venue and they've upped the ante big time. The show was replete with a troupe of dancing aliens and santas, confetti machines, ticker tape guns and giant ballons for the crowd to bat around. It was like a children's birthday party on acid. Instead of playing the same live show that they would in a small club they really magnified the experience so that everyone right back to the very last row could enjoy it.

Okay, so you can't quite re-create the feel of being shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the crowd and the hugging and high fiving strangers that happens when you've danced arm and arm with them to a cover of,"What A wonderful World", but it came closer than any stadium show I've ever been to.

I was a little bummed that the only song they played that was pre Soft Bulliten was "She Don't Use Jelley", but when you have written these three gorgeous, utterly epic albums in a row, it's hard to see how some of the earlier stuff would fit in amongst all the tall trees. When you've written songs like "Race For The prize" and "Do You Realize?" you just gotta play them live. They're magical, moving songs. So I'm a *little* bummed that I didn't get to hear the spiderbite song *especially* since he always tells that cute little story about how worried he was when Stephen got into that car accident... but I'll survive. They're growing and changing and not staying the same, and that's what true artists do.

Oh Wayne, you poet, you philosopher, you rabble rouser, you lover of humanity. Marry me.


I freaked out with my geek out something firece the whole night. But then, the encore. OH THE ENCORE.

What a band plays as an encore tells you a lot about them. I always find the whole ritual so strangely moving. The band says goodnight and pretends to leave the stage. Even though the audience knows they're coming back we all yell and scream like children who don't want to go to bed just yet and they come back and we're all elated even though we *knew* they were coming back. (Even though if you're like me you're always a teeny bit afraid that if you don't yell loud enough the band will think you don't love them and then they really won't come back.) Some bands play an encore like they're throwing you a bone and you can tell the whole time that all they really want to go do is go smoke a cigarette. Some bands like Gogol Bordello come on and play an encore that turns into another 40 minute set. Some bands play you a little lullaby that lulls you off to sleep like a kiss goodnight.

THE LIPS PLAYED WARPIGS.
YES, WARPIGS.

MOTHAFUCKIN SABBATH, MAN.

It was then that I reeeeeaaaalllly lost my shit.

the Flaming Lips doing a Sabbath cover.

This was history.

I think the word is catharsis but it was more than that.

To see a band that writes songs about peace and beauty and being happy even though the world is shit and to hear them tear up this dark, cynical metal song and really rock the shit out of it.

It was incredible.


Although it is a really sad comment on our times when a band that came all the way from Oklahoma City and stole my heart singing songs about joyful anarchy is doing this ironic, political cover complete with video projection of Bush and Cheney. Last time I saw them was fall of 2000, right before The Disaster. (AKA the "selection" of G.W Bush.) They weren't nearly as political. Okay, so they weren't political at all. They were singing songs about waterbugs attacking policemen and animals at the zoo on christmas. We were all blissfully unaware of the darkness that was about to envelop our world. Those were different times. Their work has gotten progressively more political since then, and now they've written a concept album with anti war anthems you can dance to. It says something when the happiest band in America feels moved to write an anti war album.

What an amazing start to my birthday week.