Tara is home from her wedding. She never wore the dress I spent 50 hours making.
It's a major bummer, but I'm going to make it not as an insult, but as a learning experience.


I learned:
1. I never want to do bridal.
2. Be more realistic with my experience, and time constraints.
3. How to take rejection
4. i may not be an experienced designer, yet, but i will be some day, and that day is coming soon.
5. i still believe that this is my dream and passion, and i will pursue it at all costs.
6. how to conceal my disappointment, not in Tara, but in myself, and still maintain a valued friendship
7. i learned that these types of experiences motivate me to do better in all aspects of my work and life.
8. that my friends are the best in the world ever, but i already knew that :]


despite the problems my family is having, and the problems schools gives me. i am still very happy with my life.

i've been singing to myself a lot this year. that only happens when I'm happy.

i don't want to sound corny, but I am so grateful that I genuinely smile everyday.

Thank you, thank you for everything. :]

this quarter is over. THANK GOD

now I have a wedding dress to finish.

fuck this folio.

i like ice cream very much.
i also like being skinny.
^ a clash of the titan people.

Pennies make me mad.

BEST DAY EVER.


I think I am going to be vomit I am so happy.
I don't want to jinx it, so I won't explain. But OMG

I was just thinking, Lillian would shit her pants over this story.

I am so over weddings.

I like making dress though, so I love Tara's wedding dress.

As of right now, I am about to have a nervous breakdown.

But I am going to suppress those though until they become a blood clot and I give myself an aneurism.



I love being the positive thinker that I am.


I WANT TO MOVE TO LOS ANGELES!

I am sewing all the time. I am never not sewing anymore.

Sewing and drafting.

I love it so much :]

Alyssa graduated today! It was really nice and she looked so cute!

Drunk ice blocking and fun times with old friends in the future. I'm super stoked.


Joel is fucking hilarious!


P.S. - There is this boy Ethan at school who I have a crush on.

I think that my eating problem has resurfaced.
I am skipping meals again, and I am never hungry, except like once a day.

The only difference is, this time I don't notice it. I used to Intentionally skip meals. Now I think I do it either because I'm too busy, or the thought completely slips my mind for some off reason.

I don't think I look as unhealthy as I did though, I think I might just be paranoid.

For my draping class we have to do a special event dress.

I am trying to create a back story for my woman, and I am thinking of a Studio 54 diva.

Inspirations:


Way to go Gucci, you lining facing at the hem is totally falling off!

Erika and I were having a conversation about belief and what we believe in.

She told me that she doesn't believe in her dreams, my heart fell to the floor.

I was so saddened by that statement, because, I feel that our dreams and ambitions are the one part of ourself that cannot be altered by outside influence. I wish she would believe, because you're dreams can be so beautiful.

I live by a statement on a coffee mug that my best friend, Jenny, gave me:

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Believe in your dreams.

So Erika and I were watching Sex & the City a couple night ago, and we decided that I am the Carrie, and she is the Charlotte.

She goes for when who have long term potential and money.
I go for when who stir up my emotions. Haha the zsa zsa zsu, (thanks Jenny Baranick ;])

We also decided this because I have strange fashion fetishes and no money.


In other not so weird news. I am quitting the salon as soon as I find another job.
I have been had, I got my schedule for May, I work four days every pay period, which barely puts me at $200 for two weeks. With my commuting to LA twice a week, and other crap going on, I need a better paying job.

I am applying for some freelance/contractor sketch work, and other assistant positions. I would love a more steady job, but until the job market stabilizes, I guess this has to do. I found a junior's apparel line, that pays $15-18 and hour for freelance sketch work. They said that they might be looking for a permanent artist too! WISH ME LUCK!

I need to move to Los Angeles, but I hate LA so much! It is so dirty and gross, the people are dirty too. I need a change, but I want to move to Hollywood, or Santa Monica, where the area is not as nasty as Downtown or the Fashion/Flower District

school makes me a tired boy.


I love Alyssa. :]

chirpping birds make me want to kick babies.

p.s. - i am really annoyed that it is a week before i go back to school, and it doesn't even tell me what fucking room i'm supposed to be in.

way to go FIDM


hahahaha i read my old XANGA the other day and a good laugh at myself.



p.p.s. - I'm the Mary.

so quarter breaks for me, means: i completely disappear and talk to no one for a few days. i am all rested and feel amazing, and want to go back to school as soon as possible.

i hate money issues. fucking shit.


HAPPY :]]]

^^ i'm totally bipolar.

there is marker on my finger.
its origin is unknown.



it's green.

so, i was at work today and i was washing a coffee cup.
i noticed a dime on the towel next to me.
i contemplated taking the dime for twenty minutes.
that cup got really clean.






i'm also ten cents richer now.

i was sketching today and my Hello Kitty pez dispenser and I had a staring contest.
that bitch never loses.


i wish i were high.

so there is bird outside my window that totally sounds like a Pterodactyl.

the end.