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My Year in Review [13 Dec 2005|02:12pm]
[ mood | creative ]

2005 SUCKED.Collapse )

better late than forever

Where have you BEEN all my life? [08 Dec 2005|02:58pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

What uppp livejournal?

 I totally forgot I was even registered to this site, since you know, myspace became so cool and all (NOT), I'm just a myspace whoreeee and I think it's funny to lurk people---me and Danielle do it regularly and then laugh at the "hand stretched out picture" or ANY picture of Amanda berthod because well, THAT girl sucks. I can't wait until Danielle beats her ass--but anywayyy.

I have to say, I have one of the most amazing best friends in the world. I'm simply in love with this girl--she's my soulmate. I said the other day 'I'm pefectly content with spending the rest of my life with you!" and not in an -ohh baby ohh baby way, I just love being with her, because she get's me, and no one else does. It's refreshing. It's like we lead the same life. The other day my car died and I called her to come get me as she pulls into the driveway she yells "I don't know how much help I'm going to be...my car just died too!" See what i'm talking about--we're the same person!

I've been keeping to myself lately--or trying to anyway--and it's funny that STILL when I don't talk to ANYONE, someone is still talking about ME...really--it's crazy, half the time I don't even know where they get the stuff they say--or where it comes from, it boggles my mind. Are there secret paparazzi are me at all times taking pictures of who I'm with and what I'm doing-because honestly, there must be-how else would they know the things they do? Or the people I haven't seen since graduation that say "Oh my god, I heard you're talking to blah blah" and I'm like "whaaaatt?". It's simply is mind blowing. But whatever, hey I think my life is interesting so if other people do too then that must mean I'm not a TOTAL loser, and hey, that's pretty cool.

I've been amazingly happy lately--which coud be in part to a certain someone--a certain boy whom I enjoy spending time with regularly. Danielle said she hasn't seen me like this since ******, and I really haven't been, it's nice to feel that way about someone. I mean- I am absolutely scared to death of getting hurt AGAIN, but I'm totally willing to take that chance with him because in reality, I probabaly will get hurt, but it's worth it for what I have right now...movies, laying in bed, sleeping completely entangled, falling sleep with your lips pressed because that's where you left off, and picking up exactly where you left off in the morning...phone calls that start with "hey beautiful, just calling to say hi, and see how your day is", butterflies, first kisses over and over, and feeling like for once, things are mysterious because you don't know every stupid thing about them--only the good stuff, and you'll learn the rest a little more at a time...but it's fine because it's new...and it's fun. And I'm crazzzyy about this boy <3 No names. No details. No drama because people know my business, it's perfect. And he comes with no strings attached which is perfect for me, because I have far too many myself to carry anyon elses.

Anyway. I miss the girls. I miss hanging out with Kait and Jordan and bitches we need to make this happen again soon, one night doesn't satisfy my needs, just so you know. I know you're both busy with school- I am too, but come Winter Break, no fucking excuses, because guess what? I KNOW WHERE YOU BOTH LIVE! Get at me when you're free, i'll be calling the both of you the second I have time to sit down and do so, things are crazy right now with finals, but just know I'm thinking about you.

And there is my update for probably the next four months seeing as thats the new trend...it's so funny I used to be on this thing a million times a day updating. Now I guess I have a little less free time which makes me feel better about myself.


7 comments| better late than forever

If you fuckin' with this girl then you better be paid. [26 Sep 2005|03:02am]
[ mood | amused ]

Wow. I feel like I haven't been home in foreverrrr. I sleep at the Providence apartment almost every night now so I'm hardly ever around. And since I dropped my phone in water last week I'm almost unreachable as well (even though I think that's a good thing because usually I'm with the people I'd want to be with anyway, although there are a few exceptions). I have seriously become so ghetto in the past couple of weeks. Even though I'm refered to as "White Girl" I'm starting to talk with that little ghetto attitude that comes with being Puerto Rican. I crack myself up with this shit. I'm listening to Tu-Pac , driving around with 40's, and smoking on front stoops, it's amazing. And it's cool because now I have SO many scary ass people to have my back. What up bitches I know Tomasita and Sunelly, yea that's right, you can't get any more Spanish then that. Mess with me I dare you. We bring the noise! Haha. Anyway, tonight Jessey yelled at me for giving money to a homeless guy. But he really made me feel bad. He looked all sick and sad and asked me for spare any spare change I had. I gave him five bucks and told him to have a great night. Obviously, I'm not going to change his life with five bucks. He isn't going to get a prescription and get better or be able to buy food and he'll most likely spend it on crack or booze but whatever makes him happy. And I felt alot better, like I had done my good deed for the day or something.

The other night we watched Crash and if you haven't seen it you NEED to go rent it. It it by far the best movie I've ever seen. I've never cried so hard during a movie in my life. After it was over I felt like I had been in a car accident because so much had gone on and my head hurt. I need to see it again. We're renting it tonight when Braulio comes over so we can catch everything we missed the first time, and so Madda and Av can watch it.
"We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something. "

I've been working like crazy lately. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and a double on Sunday ON TOP of school Monday-Friday. It's insane. and yet I haven't cut down on partying AT ALL and I'ms till having an amazing time with the people I love...which is probabaly why I've been so sick lately (lack of sleep) but whatever I'll sleep when I'm dead. And anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to sleep, but I just don't have time for it anymore. Like now, it's 3:10 and I just finished my homework. I could have been in bed hours ago but I stopped by to smoke with the crew in Prov before heading home after work. Hah. This semester is going to kill me. Oh, and if anyone can think of what I'd be good at doing every day for the rest of my life, let me in on it because I need to have a major by the end of this year and I'm pretty damn clueless.

Almost six months. That's some craziness <3

Holla at cha gurl.

better late than forever

Stolen from Meg, suites my mood perfectly. [22 Sep 2005|07:09am]
[ mood | sick ]

...She walked to her car and pressed herself into the seat. Slowly, she placed her forehead against the steering wheel and cried. She cried because he had only been gone a few hours, yet she missed him unbearably. She cried harder because he was supposed to be there-supposed to be there holding her and telling her everything was going to be ok. But he wasn't. He was following his dreams.

And the one thing that broke her heart the most wasn't the fact that he left. It was the fact that his dreams didn't have anything to do with her.

3 comments| better late than forever

Write them in a letter maked goodbye. [13 Sep 2005|12:44pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

So maybe you were right and I don't know what love is.
And maybe all those times we kissed and my stomach went up in knots that was just my imagination.
Or maybe when I looked right into your deep brown eyes and professed those three words I was just making it up.
Or what about every time my heart ached for you and my body begged for your attention, maybe that was lust, not love.
And maybe, just MAYBE every time I cried myself to sleep because you didn't call, or you lied about what you were doing and who you were with, or when you cheated on me and broke my heart THAT was just in my crazy head.
Maybe every feeling I EVER felt towards you was nothing.
Because if I don't know what love is, there isn't any way I could feel that emotion and this is all I could come up with.
So maybe you're right and I don't know what love is
but I heard it hurts
so I must have been on the right track.

better late than forever

You might have a good time but we party harder. [05 Sep 2005|10:42pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Danielle's birthday had to be one of the most amazingly drunken nights we've had in awhile. We pre-gamed, which wasn't even pre-gaming, it was getting absolutely WASTED before hitting the club, where we could drink, haha. So we went to Bablon, basically because it was the only place all of us could get into on a Saturday night because of that gay "Saturday night 21+ thing" they have going on in providence. So we go, start off the night with a tequila shot after not being there more then two minutes and the night was on its way. Me and Danielle danced. And let me tell you-that doesn't happen unless we're smashed, which we obviously were. I ended up dancing on stage with a bunch of lesbians, but whatever it was cool, I had fun. Fell off stage, somehow one of the guys caught me and they instantly said "we've never seen you this drunk". Probabaly because I've never BEEN that drunk before. I seriously love the club now, I had so much fun. So whatever we partied ALL night. I went up to every random guy I saw and said "My friend Danielle turned 19 today, coem tell her happy birthday!" haha, she wanted to kill me. Then we left and drank more at an after party some place. But hey- we all managed to make it home in one peice and I didn't spend the night in jail so it was a total success! But yesterday I had to wake up and work a double (with the worst hangover in history) so last night was really low-key. Headed over to Kisner's to see him and Nate, whom I loveeeeee. But we left early because they were heading to campus and we were just not up for drinking. Even though I missed the brother's party, which I was totally bummed out about! But hey, I already got asked to formal again (which is next month!) so I'm pretty stoaked. And we're gonna head onto campus this weekend with the guys to make up for last night so no worries. Heh. And I said I'd never drink again! Things are looking up still and I'm excited about that. But I have a TON of notes to re-write for class tomorrow @ 9:30, but it's cool because Danielle is going to sit through class with me then we're going to get pedicures during my three hour break. Whooaa!

better late than forever

Update [01 Sep 2005|03:52pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Re-heated macaroni and cheese SUCKS, I just figured that out because after a shitty day at school that's all there was to eat in my house- ugh.
I'm kidding about school, it's really not that bad, but hey it's only the first couple of days gimme a week and I'll hate it I'm sure.
I really need to move out. Well, not really--but I really WANT to move out. But the only person I'd EVER live with is Danielle and she doesn't have a job...so it looks like that won't be happening anytime soon. And yea, you kinda need to have money saved up to move out- seeing as I'm not a little spoiled bitch whose parents pay their rent, but that would be awfully nice. So it looks like I'm stuck here with Cindy for the time being which honestly isn't that bad, I complain alot about nothing. She ALWAYS cooks, she does my laundry and cleans up after us, what more could you ask for? Plus I don't have to worry about money. I put a little away every week, give my dad as much as possible to pay back all the money I owe him, and then whatevers left is mine- which usually gets spent on clothes/gas/cigarettes/partying. So it's a good deal.
My neck still hurts from the accident, but it's getting easier to move around and the huge mark on my forehead is almost gone, thank GOD.
The bitch that hit me, completely causing the entire accident tried lying to the police saying it was my fault, but the guy I hit had the same story as me so it looks like she's 100% liable for all the damage, including my time out of work, and a settlement check for my "pain and suffering". Haha. I'm gonna make bank-hopefully, and maybe I'll even end up with a new-er car...or something that isn't a piece because right now the Jetta has pretty much taken all it can.
I'm exhuasted, and I have a TON of homework to do so I guess I'll get on that.
Danielle's coming over and we're heading back to campus to meet the Real World cast, cause we're COOL LIKE THAT BITCHES.

things are looking up.

and applications for a new boyfriend are ALWAYS welcome, tell your friends :)

2 comments| better late than forever

I won't let you anymore. [01 Sep 2005|01:57am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

It's 1:14 a.m and my phone rings, and wouldn't you like to guess who it was...yep, that's right, it was him.
"I'm up cooking food and I just wanted to see how you were feeling."
I felt like saying "STOP PRETENDING YOU FUCKING CARE AND GO TO BED AND DIE!" but I didn't, I was much more mature.
"I'm fine. Doing homework...I can't really talk. I'm busy, can I talk to you tomorrow or something?"
I always try to rush him off the phone because then he doesn't have time to mess around with my head and leave me clueless with a dial tone wondering what the hell just happened.
"I was thinking, the guy that finally catches you and gets to keep you is gonna be really lucky...and you make sure to tell him I said that, ok?"
Alright buddy, I'll be SURE to do that...because you know, that's gonna be sometime real soon right?
"So is that all you called to say? That you're gonna let me slip away when you know I make you happy? Hey, whatever that's fine, but like I said I'm busy..."
He then continues to rant on and on about how the situation is difficult, how it's hard to trust me, how he couldn't hurt me because it'd kill him emotionally.
"So like I said, is this why you called? I really have to go..."
"I bet not enough people tell you you're beautiful. You really are Kailey. You have beautiful eyes that could steal hearts, just don't be afraid ok?"
"Afraid of what? You? Please. I'm going now. Goodnight."
And I hung up the phone. What does he want from me? Wait, I know what he wants. For me to be another girl thats all about HIM, someone that lets their world revolve around HIM. Heh. Guess what buddy, that's my game.

GOD, I said no more guys, and I fucking MEAN IT.
I work full time and go to school full time.
I don't have the energy or patience to put up with these games and bullshit.

better late than forever

R.I.P Jetta. [31 Aug 2005|01:34pm]
[ mood | sore ]

"If she doesn't have the worst luck ever, she doesn't have any luck at all." - My mom.

So yesterday I'm on my way to school and it's raining really hard out. I'm on Rt. 44, and I'm screwing because it's almost 9:15 and my class started at 9:30. The guy in front of me stops really fast but I had enough time because I wasn't that close to him, but the lady behind me didn't stop AT ALL. She came flying at me with a huuuge SUV and totally smashed into the rear end of my car, sending me flying into the guy in front of me. I smashed my head on the steering wheel, ending in a mild concusion and I have a sprained neck from wip-lash. It was the WORST experience of my life, I've never been so scared. And the worst part was: I knew she was going to hit me because I checked my mirror after I stopped because I knew there was someone behind me. And they tell you to be calm and not tense up because that's how you get hurt- but I gripped the steering wheel and probabaly made it worse. I spent the day in the hospital with my AMAZING best friend Jonathan, who came to my rescue after I called him sobbing saying I crashed my car. Now I can't move my head and my back is killing me. And I'm out of work and school for a few days- ugh. My car is pretty fucked up but we're hoping with the insurance money I can either fix it or get a newer car since mine is a piece anywayy.

But really-- what did I do to deserve all this? Karma's a bitch, but there's no WAY that this is still karma paying me back for everything.

better late than forever

Biotccch. [23 Aug 2005|11:42pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I give myself ten points for being strong and avoiding starting things all over again. But thanks for trying to kick up my shit and bring me back to square one, nice attempt.
Danielle is proud of me, that means the most.
Hah. And she also said that I amaze her with the stunts I pull.
Another ten points for that trouble making. SO WORTH IT.
Even though I'm sure I'd end up dead in a parking lot somewhere, haha STILL worth it.
I'm working tomorrow, which is going to be absolute hell because GAY people like to be GAY and piss me off. One imparticular, go figure.
DO NOT date people from work. It ends badly...everytime.
And now I'm stuck because I can't quit because I make so much money that a minimum wage job just wouldn't cut it, but I'm forced to be miserable with HIM there being a douche. Sweet.
I might pick up hours at Hercules.
It'll speed along the process of paying back my parents and moving out--soon...hopefully.
Money is SUCH a bitch.
And school starts Monday, which I'm oddly excited about.
I got a really cute leather book bag today, it's so chick and hott.
And I got all my books...and some pink notebooks which Jon hated and made fun of me for.
I even got pens--how sad am I?
I'm going to do really well this semester (like I really have a choice).
And maybe my parents won't hate me so much for being the "bad daughter".
I got to pick up Maddy tonight from a friends house, so that's a start!!! :)
I have a week off of work starting Monday...even though that's exactly the opposite of what I need right now...fuck it. It's Danielles birthday week!
Me and Madison are gonna pay for her to get her hair done, she's gonna be so excited!
I hope she likes it!

I neeeeed to get to sleep.
I was out until 4 a.m and was up at 6:30 to be in Providence, which went well by the way.
So I'm beatttt.

4 comments| better late than forever

[23 Aug 2005|04:05am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Note to self: It is no longer practical to play with people's hearts and make boys cry. It only causes more un-needed drama in the end.Although, funny at times, maybe it's time to grow up a little, but then again...



what's the point?

t-r-o-u-b-l-e. Sugar, we're goin' down swingin'! And it's gonna be BAD. :)

Danielle's birthday is in TEN DAYS. It's on a Saturday, which is perfect, so I think we're going out to dinner then going to Mugshots with the crew, because whatever, who cares WHERE you get drunk, as long as you're drunk, with good friends, and have good times. So that's the plan. But I don't know what to get her yet. Probabaly magazines because that's what we do, and maybe a gift certificate to get her monroe peircing, but I'm afraid she'll blow that off and won't go. So maybe cute necklaces, new toungue rings, earrings, and whatever else I figure out along the way. Stuff for our apartment would always be a good idea, can't go wrong there.

I need to sleep. It's 4:13 and I have to be up @ 7 a.m to be in Providence for 9, sweet. Then hopefully I'll get to RIC to buy my two books and have time to start shopping for my bestest, OR I'll just end up coming home and passing out, we'll see!

better late than forever

Confessions of a DRAMA QUEEN. [19 Aug 2005|02:28am]
[ mood | angry ]

I am a bad person.
Repeat, I am a bad person.
I don't CARE about other peoples emotions or feelings and usually if it doesn't BENEFIT me, it doesn't CONCERN me. Wow, that's pretty shitty.
I just don't use my head sometimes and that's probabaly my problem.
I'm going to hell.
But my hell is going to be composed of everyone I've ever "burned", and they get to set me on fire and watch me melt...for eternity.
I'm screwed. Because they're is gonna be MADDDD people there, and I'm sure everyone's gonna want a shot. Seeing as I've taken quite a few in my lifetime.
I need to go to church and repent my sins or some shit.

Today I said I was done being boy crazy for awhile.
Danielle laughed and said "you always say that".
I really do.
And half the time,
I don't even LIKE the guy...I just like the attention I get.
So I'm taking a break, and if you see me with a few guy, or posting about how I met someone nice, SMACK ME AND SAY "BITCH, YOU'RE CRAZY" because that's really what I need.
Danielle is bi-ased because she sees evreything from MY point of view, which is usually "I'm not doing anything wrong"...or maybe that's just what she says because she loves me so much...
but I need to stop.
I have created so much UN-NEEDED drama and bullshit it's not even funny (wait, it IS funny because it's so sad!)
So maybe this is a new start...or maybe not.
But things need to change.
Because I'm going to have a heart attack by the time I'm 20 if this shit keeps up.
Give me strength.

2 comments| better late than forever

Pissed, don't mess. [18 Aug 2005|03:46pm]

You've got to be kidding me? Are you honestly crazy enough to think I'd ever give you a 5th chance at fucking around and screwing me over. You, my friend, have some issues you need to sort out before you bring other people into them. Granted, I'm a crazy bitch, but my craziness has NOTHING on you, and that's saying alot. You have a spilt personality where one second you're saying you love me, and the next you're telling "to forget it, I play too many games and I can go fuck myself". Riiiight. Maybe you're the one that should go fuck YOURSELF, because I'm done with this shit. You stress me out, you make me cry, and you make me feel terrible about myself. I'M HAPPIER WHEN WITHOUT YOU. So take the hint and die because I hate you.

Me and Jonthan are going out to dinner tonight, just like old times and I'm really excited. Except all this STUPID bullshit happened and now I'm in a terrible fucking mood. Awesome. Thanks asshole.


better late than forever

Youuuu suckkkk. [14 Aug 2005|03:49am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

So the new game is called: Let's Not Let Kailey Be Happy.

Wow. Huge thanks going out to anyone participating in THAT bullshit. fuckyouanddie.

What do I really have to do to be left alone, honestly.

I don't want to chose between you, it's shitty that you're making me. And for once I know how it feels to not get my way...

         and let me tell you, it fucking blows.


Whatever. Fill it out bitches.

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ

3 comments| better late than forever

Stolen from Justin. [13 Aug 2005|03:22pm]

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... and you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.


1 comment| better late than forever

ATTENTION [13 Aug 2005|02:16am]
[ mood | awake ]

Dear so-and-so,

IF you're 20 years old and you talk on the phone with a 16 year old (who is nasty NONE-THE-LESS, with her fat face, bad skin that's poorly covered up in orange foundation and that doesn't look like anyone I'VE ever seen on Laguna Beach, thankyou) and mention meeting up, when, oh wait, SHE DOESN'T DRIVE YET because again, the bitch is only 16, you are truly pathetic.
It's really sad how pathetic you've become since I played with you like a toy and threw you back.
I have a boyfriend who PAYS for stuff now. And god, is it nice. :)
Have a nice life lover!


2 comments| better late than forever

You've got to be KIDDING ME! [11 Aug 2005|07:26pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I can't deal with this bullshit anymore.
Things have gotten COMPLETELY out of hand and it's ridiculous.
The two of you need to grow up and start acting like the 20 yr olds you are.
THANK-YOU for being a total waste of four months and making me lose one of my best friends when you were NOT worth it.
Even my MOM says I need to move and get away from all this shit.
I'm going to have a fucking HEARTATTACK by the time I'm 20.

better late than forever

"...my worst brings out the best in you..." [11 Aug 2005|01:51pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

holler at cha gurl.Collapse )

better late than forever

There are a million OTHER things I could be doing... [11 Aug 2005|01:37pm]
[ mood | bored ]

you're beautiful when you're screamingCollapse )

better late than forever

Best friends mean friends forever. [06 Aug 2005|01:48am]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

My two favorites, WASTED on my 19th birthday. :)
Life doesn't get much better then this.
4 comments| better late than forever

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