Merry merry christmas and a happy new year to everyone!
:))

CHEERS!

"In fact I was never able to forget anyone I've been with, because each person had his own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. When it's lost, it's lost. Each relationship when it ends really damages me, I never fully recover. That's why I'm very careful with getting involved, because it hurts too much. I would miss the person over the most mundane things. I'm obsessed with the little things."
-Celine, Before Sunset

"It hurts..."
"Oh, honey, that's what hearts do."

- Transamerica, 2005

If I told you things I did before
Told you how I used to be
Would you go on with someone like me

If you knew my story word for word
Had all my history
Would you go on with someone like me

I did before and had my share
It didn't lead nowhere
I would go on with someone like you

It doesn't matter what you did
Who you were hanging with
We could stick around and see this night through

And we don't care about the young folks
Talking about the young stuff
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking about the old stuff too
And we don't care about our own folks
Talking about their own stuff
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you

Usually when things has gone this far
People tend to disappear
No one surprise me unless you do

I can tell there's something going on
Hours seem to disappear
Everyone is leaving
I'm still with you

It doesn't matter what we do
Where we are going to
We can stick around
And see this night through

And we don't care about the young folks
Talking about the young stuff
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking about the old stuff too
And we don't care about our own folks
Talking about their own stuff
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you

Talking only me and you

We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

i dont like it when ppl comment that i look like im in my 20s.
in fact, i hate it.
recently, the issue of maximising one's youth to the fullest has been occupying my mind.
prob becos i've aged upon starting on my job.
i look at youngsters my age around me, and i start to panic.
how much do i have left of my youth?
i want longer days. i feel the weeks shortening, while i'm busy at work.
i dont want to go home early, because it makes it seem like the day is too short.
i look around, and then back at myself.
what do i have, that others dont? what dont i have, that others do?
the only thing valuable i have on me now, is prob my fast depleting youth.

放肆的尽情的挥霍　那一年玩的多疯
你和我　站在全世界的最快乐　的巅峰

等着雨停的午后　我你希望此刻永久
而现在　永久就是永久了牢笼　让我一直在等候

等待后面是等待　更沉默的等待 ..
然后咬紧牙关　等待更多的等待

如果你　爱过我　你不会就这样走　就这样　丢下我　和那些天真承诺
如果我　再也不　不能再更多的承受　痛哭之后　却又咬紧牙关
继续漂流　继续等候

你最爱那个歌手　最爱吃什么火锅
最爱把　小小的脸　轻轻的靠在　我胸口

这城市每个角落　回忆都霸占街头
我知道　你会想起雨停的时候　我知道你会回头


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

the MAYDAY concert was good. :D
3hrs of standing, non-stop screaming, singing on the top of one's lungs was hellotta fun.
and i acty teared thrice.

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans.

Which ever way you turn you feel that you are being utterly thwarted. There is considerable conflict in the air but you will stick to your beliefs and not be deterred in endeavouring to attain your objectives.

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.

Be it through unfulfilled emotional requirements, whatever the circumstances you are experiencing considerable stress, be it mental or physical. To your credit you are attempting to escape from this by endeavoring to create a semblance of peace and serenity by refusing to allow yourself to be involved. You have the strength to 'pull through' and all indications are that you will... perhaps sooner than you even believed possible.

BENICE LAU. how dare you say im an idiot!
dont know who's the super-embarrasing one yest ahh..
before that still warn me not to embarrass myself.
who's the one who imitated some passerby, and kena looked back by him.
who's the one who almost followed some stranger into the MALE's toilet.
who's the one who dropped like 4/5 of the popcorn. with like half into my shoes.
*rolls eyes*
haha but the movie was quite nice. alot like love
i like the title. and those photos of ashton & amanda. really quite & sweet.
the show was not bad. but like what benice said, a lil short of our expectations.
or maybe we were expecting too much. (or maybe her pop-corn dropping spoilt the mood)
haha.
anyway i had a good time.ohhh and i bought a pair of shoes. 50% off.
quite a bargain. but think benice got irritated by me who took damn long to decide.
heh paiseh. thanks for pei-ing me :)
although you are really quite embarrasing, but you make quite gd company haha :)

so, the 5th Nationals Dragon Boat Competition is finally over
that marks the end of my db career (sobs)
thinking back on how sh pulled me into seasports with her,
everything seemed just like yesterday.
being talked to by some old senior during '04 cca orientation drive.
the 2 seasports orientation i attended.
falling down when unloading frm a dragonboat, and making a fool out of myself.
the very first land&sea training. when zhiqi,darren,yaolong,aimin etc were still ard
all the meals at leisurepark, ME being scolded by the drinks stall uncle everytime
all the seasports activities, like LTC, alumni dinner, farewell night.
all the sea carnivals with the ssc ppl.
all the trainings, which intially rendered me into some crybaby.
all the times spent with my beloved girls team.
all the times spent with the seniors & juniors.
all the stupid things the guys wld say/do.
all the valuable lessons that db taught me.
i am missing db already. :(
nomore sea trainings at dirty kallang river, which caused numerous ugly breakouts
nomore signining in and bathing at the kallang stadium
nomore easy row & tapping of water
nomore twistings,pumpings, and attempted pullups by xp&co
nomore not-applying of sunblock & getting nagged by dearest sh
nomore collecting of lifejacks & paddles
nomore warmups & 'warm-downs'
nomore sets of 10, 20, 30 power
nomore sets of 300m, 500m
nomore sets of 3min,5min,10min rowing
nomore splashing of water on the boat
nomore funny but affectionate shoutings of 'jiayou','pull long' on the boat
nomore shouting of odd nos with yc, with sh & chris shouting even nos
nomore sitting beside sh on the boat
nomore of the girls laughing at my shoutings &'comeons'
nomore irritating of fiona
nomore reminders of coach to go o--n-e instead of one
nomore whinings & silly laughters
nomore collecting of valuables, & digging thru xp's huge plastic bag
nomore smelly dismissals
nomore walking all the way to kallang mrt with cs,fiona,leah & jiamin
nomore slacking at ssc room before trainings
nomore gathering at the foyer for the bus
nomore bananas & 100plus
nomore nonstop chattering on the way to kallang
nomore leg cramps, arm cramps, ab cramps etcetc
nomore laughing at jiamin teasing tokyang
no more... :(

i know i will miss my DB team, esp the girls.
for now, i cant imagine life without rowing. 2 yrs suddenly seem too short.
but i never ever and never will regret joining dragonboat
this was where i learnt to perservere on, where i found many fantastic friends (hshxp,leah,jiamin,fiona,christie,yc,shiyu), where i have a collections of lovely memories which
i will keep close to my heart for life, where i laughed, sweated and cried..
i am thankful of everything the seniors taught me, and may all the juniors have
a fufilling db career like mine.

once a db-er, always a db-er :)

:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :(

relationships are so so so fragile
no matter how beautiful and amazing it was, there're bound to be chances that
ppl get clouded/jaded and stopped to admire/remember that split moment of beauty
and awe.
what is one to do?
can we just shrug it off, one day, that fate is to be blamed?

fate brings 2 ppl together..
these 2 may have absolutely no inkling of each other's existence until this certain
event forced their paths to intersect.
they may end up as a couple, co-workers, classmates, team mates or even family.
but fascinating and magical as fate is, we ought to be reminded that since it can
bring ppl together, it has the power to tear ppl apart too
many of us choose to believe in fate
i think fate is so amazing, it's scary. (esp cos it's darn unpredictable)

sadly everything in the modern world has an expiry date
i am but a mere human
i can only wish that the magic 2 ppl once shared can be re-lived even if smth crops up and
clouds your visions momentarily
i choose to believe that there are lucky/blessed ones who get to capture their happiness
and get to keep them for life.
:)

不敢问 却一直想问 你心里藏着什么人
不敢猜 却一直想猜 若回去有没有可能
我不够完整 你给的从来不够完整
连一个语气都无法确认 这种缺乏是什么象征
不开灯 我不要开灯 我身边容不下别的人
不锁门 我不要锁门 你回来是一种可能
我那么的认真 去思考你对我的认真
是多么伤害你 结果始终是疑问
我爱疯了 我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任 放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
我不管了 我不管这伤口能不能愈合
选择了你也许是错的人 选择了包容你的不安分
请尊重我的选择

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

love changes people.
irrational behaviours, emotional upheavals.
the crazy things ppl do for love..

ok, i shall try my best to forget what he said.

guess i said too many things too often. they lose value.

only time can tell..

xXx mark it if its true... xXx

Have you ever...

[x] been drunk.
[ ] smoked pot....
[x] kissed someone.
[x] been heartbroken.
[x] been fired.
[x] been in any kind of physical fight.
[ ] broken a bone
[ ] got hit by a car
[ ] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[x] fall in love
[ ] went on a blind date.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[x] received more than 10 roses
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school.
[ ] thrown up from drinking.
[x] lost a family member
[ ] played 'clue'
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[ ] been cheated on.
[x] had a sweet seventeen.
[ ] had a car.
[ ] drove.

Do you or have you ever ...

[x] have a boyfriend.
[ ] have a girlfriend.
[ ] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[x] hate yourself.
[ ] think you're attractive.
[ ] have a dog.
[ ] have your own room.
[ ] listen to Hawaiian Music
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to reggae.
[x] listen to pop
[x] paint your nails.
[ ] have more than 1 Best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[x]play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[ ] wear boxers
[x] wear glasses
[x] wear contact lens
[x] like the color blue.
[ ] like the color pink.
[ ] cyber.
[ ] claim.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[ ] have long hair.
[x] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[x] have a laptop.
[x] have a PDA

Are you...

[x] ugly.
[ ] pretty.
[ ] Ok.
[ ] not sure and not a luvo
[ ] handsome.
[x] bored.
[ ] happy.
[x] bilingual
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Korean.
[ ] Filipino
[ ] British.
[ ] white
[ ] fair
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] melayu
[ ] Indonesian
[ ] short.
[x] in between.
[ ] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] mad.
[x] lazy.
[ ]single.
[x] taken.
[ ] looking.
[ ] currently sleeping with someone
[ ] not looking.
[ ] brokenhearted.
[ ]aIming someone.
[x] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[x]sleepy.
[ ] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[x] in your room.
[x] drinking something.
[x]eating something.
[x] in your pjs.
[xxx] ticklish.

& a bigggg thank-you to all you guys out there :)

1. for putting up with my repeated rantings (of the same ol' stuff)
2. for simply being there for me

if i'd kept everything bottled up inside of me, i'd prob be insane now
so.. thank you guys :)

然后发现 你的改变 孤单的今后
如果冷 该怎么渡过
天边风光 身边的我 都不在你眼中
你的眼中 藏着什么 我从来都不懂
没有关系 你的世界 就让你拥有
不打扰 是我的温柔

never enough.
i am lagging too far back i can never ever catch up.
i'll never be good enough.










never..

hmmm i love the traditional ice cream in bread! yummy!
everyday, the uncle will ring his bell faithfully at 130pm, and i'll go down and buy 2 w/o fail.
i love ice cream :D
that moment in which the ice cream melts in your mouth.. blissful!
the cold ice cream numbs your tongue, numbs you frm everythin else as well..
ice cream makes me happy :)