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pine leaf

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(no subject) [Nov. 24th, 2022|12:25 am]
pine leaf

mostly friends only

sort of defunct
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2013|02:04 am]
pine leaf
Got drunk with James after work today. It was nice to spend some time alone with him and ask him questions regarding 1. Intimacy 2. Fathers 3. Post-ethnicity. Excited to go to Toronto tomorrow. I'm so glad art suppliers have caught on to the caché of Moleskines and now make knock-off Moleskines that I can buy at a lower price, with a nicer-toned paper. I bought one today to start the cowboy zine and make a million draws in Toronto.
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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2013|11:41 pm]
pine leaf

Its windy and dry. I woke up feeling like I'd reached the point, the crux. I had a clear vision of what I must do, and how my inactivity here is making me unhappy. For a few hours I stalled writing to an old professor and I finally got the words out. I saw my roommate in the kitchen and explained how I didn't go to school because, because, because I had a vision, I have to do these things. Inactivity and sloth and anxiety are killing me. Do I have to move there?

I rode my bike to the friperie. On the way there the wind blew me all over the place, blew dust into my eyes numerous times. It felt like the city was pushing me, somewhere, out? Testing me? I tried on 5 long skirts and a silk blouse but could muster the desire for none of them. Tried on a luxe fur coat but decided my face looked too much like a scoop of icecream or a cherry, floating above it.

I'm writing here because its faster and easier than with a pen. I just need to get the words out with as little interference. Maybe in a time when it feels like you are drifting away from yourself, its good to go back to something you know.

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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2013|10:40 pm]
pine leaf

I moved to Montréal. Its cold in the winters, but I like where I'm living. Our apartment is on the second floor, above a drycleaner. It was hard at first but I'm happy now. During the week I go to french school and work at a café. I can speak french sloppily and give tattoos and dress for -30 now. Sometimes I visit Toronto or the Maritimes.

I look forward to the winter, when everyone will stay indoors and have dinners and bundle up. We'll sit behind foggy windows and turn to stare at everyone coming in.

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(no subject) [Feb. 18th, 2011|01:54 am]
pine leaf
 1. Every time I talk to you you are doing something I want to be doing

2. I shouldn't say this outloud, maybe I sound really desperate

3. I am unconcerned whether I am making this awkward, (three people,) I like you too much

4. Everything is fine.
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(no subject) [Jan. 26th, 2011|04:27 am]
pine leaf

Here is an illustration I am working on for tomorrow. The band I was given to illustrate plays pretty bland folk/pop music and I'm clearly enjoying attributing the wrong spot pattern to this horse more than filling in their shiny little faces. I think they're going to wearing patterned clothing so the image has more content than if I leave them flat. I'd love to give them all freckles but they're not country enough. Anyways, I need to learn how to draw fabric, for whenever I draw or paint clothes from my head they always look like stiff flannel.
Last weekend I painted two of the walls white in the art room with some leftover paint, it is a lot brighter and I feel good about having a workspace and desks to use. Doing work at a desk seems to boost my productivity levels exponentially. Back to work.
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I'm really into [Jan. 21st, 2011|01:38 am]
pine leaf
 I'm going to make art about POP CULTURE. I love pop culture, I love kitsch, and I love illustration, but I don't really love highbrow art that much. I appreciate it, but I always feel like I am trying to apply irrelevant things to my life in order to exist in the fine art realm. Everyone is really into making references to modernism at school right now, its nice to look at I guess but sets a weird precedent. "I'm really into plinths." You can feel the specter of painting hanging over the studios, or maybe its The Vancouver School, or conceptual photography or w/e.  
FUCK IT. I feel great about this. Gimme yo hip hop recommendations, these days I'm not so into guitars. I'm really into Peanut Butter Wolf though, and Das Racist.
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(no subject) [Jan. 18th, 2011|02:47 am]
pine leaf
I have a new computer. It has been three and a half months of mooching off of my roommates. Mainly sitting in Marissa's room on her bed letting myself imagine her life a little bit, and going downtown to the library to use the computers and hang around the comix/graphic novels section. But I draw so much inspiration from the internet, and having contact with other artists really feels like it adds another dimension to my life. Although I'm relieved to have another computer in my possession, I think its important to have things you upon which you depend unceremoniously wrenched out of your hands. 
MoreCollapse )
here is my hairCollapse )
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winter welter [Dec. 20th, 2010|11:08 am]
pine leaf
I feel crazy. I think that coming off of birth control is giving me anxiety and insomnia. Matt and I broke up. I keep finding his things around the house. Things that I forgot when I gathered everything up and dumped it on the counter and asked him if he wanted a bag. Books that he lent me, a book he brought over to cheer me up, his clippers that don't work, full of hair. I feel so empty. The bus feels like a silent singles bar. Sometimes I glimpse the void, try not to look, try to think of something to do. Alice told me that its always there, but everyone feels it. When the delicate fibres that protect you from it are shaken you realize just how close it is.

Yesterday I went to a craft fair with Sian and she told me things couldn't get worse. Later I was grocery shopping and found out an acquaintance had passed away. She had a history of mental health problems and couldn't take it anymore. All of these things are only reaffirming my fear and loathing of winter and the holiday season. Its sick, but death puts things into perspective somewhat.

I'll write nice things next entry.

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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2010|01:00 am]
pine leaf
Things are garbage-y because I am a single lady again, which I guess is what the holidays are all about. Things are slightly better due to
-being forced to write a 'gender journal' for a class, but really making comics about confusion regarding gender roles. how do i always forget how much i love drawing!
-thank you internet for teaching me brickstitch. now i can make imperfect earrings into eternity.
-the chubby little douglas fir wearing four feet of lights next to the bikes in the living room. your ample girth was worth the extra $10.
-my roommates are wonderful people and i have some pretty nice friends. sian brought me a nylon magazine and scientific american!
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