i feel like a lot of good things are around the corner. Not sure what they are, but i just have a good feeling lately.

On that same note, im soooo bored lately. At least im getting paid to be bored. I wish my art didnt usually require a helper or model. i should really expand my horrizons to more solo stuff, but i like doing what ive been lately.

got some photos back from mpix. wonderful job guys! ordering big prints with all the money i won off my dads friends. I fucking love hustling drunk people. do it more often!

confirmed i was being playeeeddddd. lame

i need to shoot more better things for my show. the existing work is not as refined (read: good) as it should be

like 75% miserable right now. I was only like 25-50% but havine 2 days off work with literrally nothing to do and no friends and too much time to think gets pretty crushing.

I totally took off a week and ah alf from work thinking i was going on this awesome vacation in a week and a half. Well ive been ditched from it, and yeah right am i gonna ask to work it now

Amanda at work has managed to get us a show at the main art theatre in september. Its not 100% for sure yet but supposedly its going to happen. Very excited. I assume well have an opening but i mean, its a theatre so i cant imagine it being totally rad, but you never know. Anyways if you go to the main in the month of sepetember go into that little red room and see some forest spirits!

i wish i could shapeshift into a lap top

things not to do with women, introduce them to my friends, introduce them to addicitive online games

sarah called me a Shapeshifter at work yesturday.

Cant say ive felt happier all week

thank god i wasnt on the freeway, fucking tire

quickly turning to shit

sometimes we imagine memories of good things that were never really that good to begin with. Its like when some old guy is like, back in my day things were "insert something hard or honest or better than now here"

probably only a half truth, a misinterpritation.

i know ill die one day. if i were to die tomorrow, i have an inkling feeling i wouldnt be very happy about what i was doing with my life. I have this illusion that i can find a balance between distractions and real pursuits. Id like to have both, but mostly i just waste myself on distractions.
Where is my passion? did it die 3 years ago too? if so i suppose i can always ressurect it

those grapes ruled

rough morning, lets see how smooth things get. Relationships can be intense!

Bright side: fortune cookie came true. Its fun getting unexpected calls from people you havent heard from in a while!

Suzette propositioned me to live with her in a magical castle. Sounds rad, sounds affordable, im told it sounds safe too. Ive moved so much in the last 3 years. Constant wander lust. After the tragedy 3 years ago i wanted to escape this town as much as possible. I didnt care about being poor, i had friends, i just had to be somewhere not here. Now im back here, growing fat on excess food, excercise equipment, bland surroundings. Stress. But so far it hasnt really been rough on me. M

aybe im a fool to stretch how long that lasts. I want new eyes. I want a new computer. My car sounds like its reached the limit of its abilities. I want a new camera and lens. Ive been saving some money, i could totally start buying some of those things. But its like i have this fear of being brokish again. If im broke im trapped here. Right now i could live wherever i want. Hell i could go to new york or spain! SPAIN.

Im thinking of being as a dragon, sleeping on my troves till something sparks me

way to be self destructive

the closer it get to that time of the year, the more it feels like subcionciously random guilts start assaulting me. guiltz guiltz guiltz

at this very moment i feel like the other day i really hurt aarons feelings but because i am incapable of telling when hes being serious i didnt realize it enough to apologize enough, though i did apologize. I think i might make him something to attone.

lately ive been in good enough spirits. I think a lot of things are working out. Im out of the city again, and i mostly feel releived. Then my mom screams about something in her head and my dad sits there playing zelda and doesnt ever talk to her. I love my parents much, but situations with them always arise.

I wonder how much of random guiltz ill feel are connected to "killin' " that dude. Ive come a long way there. My mind blew that whole thing way out of perportion. I have a hard time processing things like that, though they happen constantly in this world

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10971-cheap-safe-drug-kills-most-cancers.html

looks like we had the cure to cancer all along! wonder if that stories true / it works without killing us for realz.

wow within a few hours of calling him about the radiators not working, i came back from class to steeeeaaammm heat

can the world appose
deadliest of foes?

cobraaa COBRAAA
cobraaa COBRAAA

oh manz multiple tests on monday, but i dont plan on being home all weekend. How will i win? find out next week

once again i involuntarily play match maker...
at least this time it doesnt suck in the way it usually does

oh also all my halloween stuff was stolen, i guess i could not let that ruin halloween and still go out, but right now i mostly feel like fuck it

im going to fight the darkness inside!