I found that for most of 2004, I was this underappreciated/overeager young acting girl. I took more things that I can count to heart, and let them stay there festering anger and resentment towards the people who had done me wrong. I had experienced heartbreak time and time again because of myself. My personality changed at least 3 times during the course of last year. At times I was this wise female beyond my years, but I slipped back into my child-like ways because in many aspects, I still am a child. I finally settled somewhere in the middle of those towards the end. I gave so called "good" advice, but I never seemed to take that advice and listen to it for the benefit of myself. I can't even count how many times I lost my temper in 2004, and let others get to me. I persued this "love" thing, which didn't work out the way that I planned. I met and greeted several males. I met and thought that many females could be true friends, but how many all in all do I still talk to? Exactly 3. I had pimp mode on in the summer and pulled a phonebook of numbers, only to talk to them to wish them Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, and Happy New Years. I can't say that I met anyone that completely turned my life around and upside-down. I blame myself for the hurt that came upon me, because I allowed it to. I broke down countless times, crying myself to sleep at night. I didn't accept myself or even like myself for most of 2004.
However, there were good times in 2004. The 3 people that I talk to out of 2004 have been teaching me alot. I've only met one recently, but he has helped my confidence level in a way that I needed. I intend to keep that up in this 2005. The other two, I care for deeply. We have had ups and downs, but ultimately I would say that my experience with them were benefiting for me. I re-kindled old friendships from past years, and I can gladly say that I have no intention of letting my friendships die out. I have learned that in friendships and relationships that it is better to be honest than to lie just so you can benefit from them at that point. I learned this late in the game, but at least I'm still in it.
There were many times in 2004 where I laughed my ass off, and many where I cried rivers. All in all, the year was another experience that I can take on into the future, hopefully learning from mistakes and advice. I am thankful for 2004, and I welcome 2005 with open arms.
Happy New Years everyone.