Graham ([info]tao_) wrote,
@ 2007-05-14 09:09:00
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The horror of life in the West
From an Amazon review of The Juliette and The Licks album.

"All the songs are great on this cd i was bummed when it was over and had to hit the button to start it all over again."

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horrorlife (west)
[info]scrumpleton
2007-05-14 08:33 am UTC (link)
"..but then guess what a food pellet came out of the thing and i ate it and that was cool..."

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(Anonymous)
2007-05-14 10:19 am UTC (link)
I assume our lilly-fingered friend will be rather less thrilled by the record's selfless dearth of content than this chap, then?

"This is her 2nd full length studio album with only 10 tracks this album is very short with no album fillers making it a fast paced delight to lisen too." (sic)

Sounds like our button-dodging buddy is gonna have to get over his hi-fi-phobia fairly sharpish...

(Incidentally, I do wonder how he managed to navigate through the Amazon reviewing process without recourse to hitting a button. 'Bummed'? He must've been sitting on ice for a week!)

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[info]pete_the_lion
2007-05-14 11:27 am UTC (link)
my favourite item on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-5944372-6927957?ie=UTF8&s=gourmet-food&qid=1179141881&sr=8-1

some reviews:
"I ordered this based on the reviews and found it much larger than pictured. *Much* larger."

"It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

It will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. "

"Horrible service, I bought my milk and went with the 7-9 day super saver shipping method and it arrived warm and curdled. What the hell?"

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[info]ealaspada
2007-05-14 02:09 pm UTC (link)
I clicked on your link. I read the read the reviews. This clearly must be the best milk EVER.

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[info]pete_the_lion
2007-05-14 02:28 pm UTC (link)
it is true, pilgrim.
i feel like searching for a UK seller...

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Egads.
(Anonymous)
2007-05-14 03:25 pm UTC (link)
I just love the fact that 'Customers who viewed this item also viewed'...the $20,000 JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank . And also a different sort of milk.

The mental profile I'm building of these people is mildly terrifying.

Mark
(spidercake.net)

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Re: Egads.
[info]petrichor_fizz
2007-05-14 04:12 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget the fresh whole rabbit! And a pack of cucumbers. Sounds like quite an evening.

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[info]dives
2007-05-14 06:27 pm UTC (link)
That link?

Pure beauty.

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[info]nearside
2007-05-14 03:18 pm UTC (link)
I dunno. Sometimes there's a charming innocence in some of the reviews on Amazon. Like you don't really need an education to express yourself.

Then, the cynical fecker in me kicks back in, and I laugh and point.

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[info]nearside
2007-05-14 03:20 pm UTC (link)
Actually - do a search on Amazon.co.uk for A Whole New World, the Katie Price and Peter Andre CD. The reviews for this CD actually reduce me to tears, they're so funny.

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[info]nearside
2007-05-14 03:23 pm UTC (link)
It seems most of the really good ones are gone. Amazon must have run their sarcasm filters over the review pages. But honestly, they were amazing.

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[info]tao_
2007-05-14 03:49 pm UTC (link)
will do!

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Moo
[info]idontknowjesus
2007-05-14 05:55 pm UTC (link)
Throwing the phrase "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz" into a sentence makes it immeasurably funnier. Who'd have though Amazon could be so entertaining?

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[info]rickyy
2007-05-14 07:00 pm UTC (link)
I find that my negative reviews take a long time to get accepted if at all while my five-star reviews are approved same-day. Funny that.

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Goddamn Scientologists
[info]strangefish32
2007-05-15 09:13 pm UTC (link)
they get every-fucking-where. I've gone right orf that Beck since I discovered he was a Thetan believer.

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Re: Goddamn Scientologists
[info]scrumpleton
2007-05-15 11:35 pm UTC (link)
'Thetan Believer'.

Wasn't that a big hit for the Monkees?

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[info]nummymuffin
2007-05-17 11:06 pm UTC (link)
It's a shame I can't purchase this album on Amazon. :'(

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