sweetheart___

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 03:37:23 GMT

This is all to familiar, but:

NEW JOURNAL: ANALYTICAL__
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Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:41:02 GMT

Dear Livejournal ,

Tricia Mehle<3.

Sincerely me.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 02:40:23 GMT

The time I spend alone is always the best time I spend.
I hope it's that way for everyone.

I've noticed that I think more than I talk.
I've also noticed that I'd rather think about friendships and relationships and life and living,
rather than experience or participate in it.
Problem?

Question One:
How is it that people always fail to see the worth of who is right in front of them?
Even when the person in front of them is probably the most amazing being they've ever known?
Question Two:
What does it take to be content with yourself?

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 01:47:58 GMT

I miss my bestfriend.

I should be in Lynchburg.
Or
She should be in Virginia Beach.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 23:56:28 GMT

This is what my dad said to me tonight:

"You may as well stop wasting your time waiting and looking forward to moving out. Even after you move out and start this better life you think is coming to you, everyday will still be horrible and all you will do is work and worry about bills and even then, when you've seperated yourself from all the negative people surrounding you now, you will still have not one person that gives a shit about you. Stop trying and prepare for a life just as shitty as everyday is now."

I used to give my best effort in everything I did so that I impressed my parents. I strived in school, volleyball, and I even did my best to bring home as many nice friends as I could. Principal's list, City Championships, and a handful of respectable friends, and not once have I made them proud.

Now I'm learning to strive for myself. I can't wait to prove everyone wrong.

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 22:41:56 GMT

This is what I'll do.

I'll make myself happy.
Key words: Make myself...
Then I'll change the world.
Priorities, yes?

PS. Halloween is no fun this year.
A'course, I don't know when it will be fun again.
The year I dressed up as a bunny with my Lauren and Alex,
and last year running the haunted house safe haven with Lauren,
are very hard to follow up.

I'm making that new journal real soon.

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 17:06:08 GMT

I think I've finally just realized what I've been needing to do to make myself a little bit happier than I am right now. I plan on doing this tonight if I a] get a phone call and b] get some courage. This won't fix everything but it'll fix the big problem, and the source of most of my little problems. Make me do this and wish me luck.

"The only thing that matters is that you get away, from the pain..."

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 09:59:28 GMT

Have you seen the forecast for this week? It's something to the likes of:

59 + rain. 60 + rain. 61 - no rain. 59 - no rain. 61 - no rain. 61 - no rain. 59 - rain.

I'm so excited.

PS. I'll make that new livejournal whenever I find the time.

PPS. I want to be alone a lot of the time lately. But out of all my friends, I think Chizek's pretty much my favorite.

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 01:01:14 GMT

I think I'm going to stop using this livejournal, and make a new one.
One where I update about things that matter. Instead of things other people may want to read, haaa.
This one's pretty much a new born, but I'm already sick of it.
Oh well. Peace out sweetheart___.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 18:01:07 GMT

AH! I'VE BEEN TAGGED BY DIETER!
10 things that make me happy:

1. My friends! & My biology teacher!

2. Myself!

3. Reading!

4. Pop punk!

5. Number One Fan! Yeah...for those of you who remember my obsession two years ago...yeah, still.

6. This one song by Theweakerthans!

7. Honors English!

8. Peanut Butter M&M's!

9. Fall!

10. My cat and my bird and my dog!

I'm taggin': Anyoneee, because I doubt anyone I tagged would do it anyway. So there.

It's a good feeling knowing that I had to squeeze all of these things in, and could've made an even longer list, because I'm realizing how much there is to make me happy.

PS. Hey guys, don't let me miss anymore school. And keep me healthy, for a change!

Please Read This And Celebrate With Me.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:52:11 GMT

I'm not sad anymore. And I've started to participate in life again. And a conversation with a certain someone [who is very important to me], made me realize that it's time for me to, uh, turn over a new leaf. Yeah, I guess you could say that. The things that are important to me are actually going to be important to me again. I'm not going to be so mean-looking all the time, because that's really not who I am. And that whole 'high-school gossip factor' is going right back over my head where it belongs. I'm going to show everyone I care about just how much I care about them. I'm going to be happy with myself one day, and it's going to be awesome.

And I'm going to help this very important person I speak of, because even if no one else believes in him, I know he can make things right. I'm determined to prove that he's more important than he thinks, and he's more important than everyone else thinks. And when I do, and I will, I'll be the first and last to say "I told you so."

So, today is Day One of "Operation Sweet Life," if you will. And today was a great way to kick off this mission. Can I tell you about how terrific my day was? Not to brag, but I mean, it was terrific. So in Biology, we were talking about those bracelets that support a certain cause, you know? Livestrong, yeah? And my teacher saw mine and asked what it was for, and when Tricia and I told him it was to support Andrew McMahon, he knew who that was. "Oh, lukemia?" AMAZING, HEY. Then, in Spanish I got a 66 on a test but then I answered a question right when no one else could, and my teacher told me she's proud of me. Also in Spanish, I won two games of "Simone Dice"...Simon Says. Then, in study block, everyone made fun of me because I was reading a book and I started laughing really loud, disturbing the entire ridiculously quiet room. And everyone thought I was dumb because I found humor in a funny book. I guess I'm insane, yeah? Oh, so the good part: When everyone realized that I didn't care that they were making fun of me, and then they stopped laughing because the only thing funny was what I read in the book, and not their dumb jokes. Two words: Boo. Ya. Then in lunch, it was fun. Then in PE, I made a basket in Speedball, which made up for Beth owning me in other really cool sports. Then on the way home I accomplished a whole lot of catching up with an old friend. Then came home and slept for 3 hours, and I never take naps. Then, Tricia picked me up and I accompanied her at her volleyball game, which ended up being one of the funniest experiences of my life. Then, when I walked in my door, really unable to breathe, laughing harder than I've ever laughed before, [honest], it pretty much just topped of my whole day.

...Because: "THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE DEEP BREATHS AFTER LAUGHING THAT HARD. NOTHING IN THE WORLD LIKE A SORE STOMACH FOR THE RIGHT REASONS."

HEY MARLEIGH CULVER.
HEY SARA SMITH.
HEY LAUREN COLLINS.
HEY ASHLEY BISSELL.
HEY EVERYBODY.
A message for you: I really want to hang out soon because I miss everyone.

PS. I really love Beth Orrison and Tricia Mehle.
PPS. synthetic storys: Did you get my rubber gloves.
PPPS. I hope everyone elses day was just as incredible as mine. And if it wasn't, I hope tomorrow will be.
PPPPS. synthetic storys: Don't you love nights like these when you can't believe you ever cried over a boy? Or you can't believe you were ever angry? Or sad? Or whatever? And you forget all about heartbreak and all that other teenage angst shit and just know laughing? Yeah, Me too.
PPPPPS. I bet I'm not allowed to have this many PS's, you think?

"PLEASE BELIEVE THAT THINGS ARE GOOD WITH ME, AND EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT, THEY WILL BE SOON ENOUGH."

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 01:39:46 GMT

I grew up on these songs. And they're all country, and they're all really good. And you may very well be one of those people that talks down on country music even if you don't really give it a chance, but give this a chance because it's
really amazing. I'm not joking. And because there's seven songs to read I would expect you not to read all of them. In
that case, I would pick my favorites and beg you to atleast read those. But I'm not going to. You should really read
all of these to get the full effect. They're amazing, do it.
PS. The first one describes exactly how I'm feeling now. Along with the last.
...And I guess all the ones in between. But mostly the first.

LEANN RIMES - ONE WAY TICKET
Standing on the border looking out into the great unknown.
I can feel my heart beating faster as I step out on my own.
There’s a new horizon and the promise of favorable wind.
I’m heading out tonight, traveling light, I’m gonna start all over again.

And buy a one way ticket on a west bound train, see how far I can go.
Because I can.
I’m gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain, and talk to someone I don’t know.
Because I can.
I will face the world around me, knowing that I’m strong enough to let you go. And I will fall in love again,
because I can.

Gonna climb the mountain, and look the eagle in the eye.
I won’t let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I can fly.
How could I have ever believed that love had to be so blind?
When freedom was waiting, down at the station.
All I had to do was make up my mind.

And buy a one way ticket on a west bound train, see how far I can go.
Because I can.
I’m gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain, and talk to someone I don’t know.
Because I can.
I will face the world around me, knowing thatI’m strong enough to let you go. And I will fall in love again,
because I can.

Well, I have walked through the fire and crawled on my knees through the valley of the shadow of doubt.
Then the truth came shining like a light on me and now I can see my way out.

I’m gonna buy a one way ticket on a west bound train.
Gonna have my breakfast with some pink champagne.
I’m gonna sail the ocean, I’m gonna spread my wings.
I’m gonna climb that mountain, gonna do everything.

FAITH HILL - WILD ONE
They said, "Change your clothes." She said, "No I won't."
They said. "Comb your hair." She said, "Some kids don't."
And her parents dreams went up in smoke.

They said, "You can't leave." She said, "Yes I will."
They said, "Don't see him." She said, "His name is Bill."
She's on a roll and it's all uphill.

She's a wild one with an angel's face.
She's a womans-child in a state of grace.
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee, he said, "You can be anything you want to be."
She's a wild one runnin' free.

She loves Rock and Roll, they said it's Satan's tongue.
She thinks they're too old, they think she's too young.
And the battle lines are clearly drawn.

She's a wild one with an angel's face.
She's a womans-child in a state of grace.
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee, he said, "You can be anything you want to be."
She's a wild one runnin' free.

She has future plans and dreams at night.
When they tell her life is hard she says, "That's alright."

She's a wild one with an angel's face.
She's a womans-child in a state of grace.
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee, he said, "You can be anything you want to be."
She's a wild one runnin' free.

DEANA CARTER - STRAWBERRY WINE
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm.
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car.
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child,
when one restless summer we found love growing wild, on the banks of the river on a well beaten path.
Funny how those memories they last.

Like strawberry wine, and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine, like strawberry wine.

I still remember when thirty was old.
My biggest fear was September when he had to go.
A few cards and letters and one long distance call.
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall.
But year after year I come back to this place, just to remember the taste.

Like strawberry wine, and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine, like strawberry wine.

The fields have grown over now, years since they've seen a plow.
There's nothing time hasn't touched.
Is it really him, or the loss of my innocence?
I've been missing so much.

Like strawberry wine, and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine, like strawberry wine.

REBA McENTIRE - WHAT DO YOU SAY
Stuck at a red light outside an adult bookstore.
His son said, "Daddy what are all those X's for?"
As the light turned green he changed the subject fast.
Started talking about football as they drove right past.

So what do you say in a moment like this, when you can't find the words to tell it like it is?
Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way.
Let's get out of here, what do you say?

Seventeen years old, she was out with her friends.
They started drinking at some party, till she was three sheets to the wind.
Her momma always told her she could call no matter what.
She was crying on the front steps when her mom showed up.

So what do you say in a moment like this when you can't find the words to tell it like it is?
Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way.
Let's get out of here, what do you say?

Sometimes you gotta listen to the silence, and give yourself a little time to think.

Her every breath is weaker than the last, and lately when she sleeps she talks about the past.
Her husband knows she's tired of holding on. She looks at him and says, "I wanna go home."

What do you say in a moment like this when you can't find the words to tell it like it is?
Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way.
Oh what do you say.

JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY : I CAN LOVE YOU LIKE THAT
They read you Cinderella. You hoped it would come true, that one day your Prince Charming would come rescue you.
You like romantic movies, you never will forget the way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet.
All this time that you've been waiting. You don't have to wait no more.

I can love you like that, I would make you my world, move Heaven and Earth if you were my girl.
I will give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance, I can love you like that.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep.
So when I say forever, forever's what I mean.
I'm no Casanova but I swear this much is true: I'll be holdin' nothin' back when it comes to you.
You dream of love that's everlasting, well baby open up your eyes.

You want tenderness? I got tenderness.
And I see through to the heart of you.
If you want a man who understands, you don't have to look very far.

GARTH BROOKS - STANDING OUTSIDE THE FIRE
We call them cool, those hearts that have no scars to show.
The ones that never do let go, and risk the tables being turned.
We call them fools, who have to dance within the flame.
Who chance the sorrow and the shame, that always comes with getting burned.

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire, 'cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire.

We call them strong, those who can face this world alone.
Who seem to get by on their own, those who will never take the fall.
We call them weak, who are unable to resist.
The slightest chance love might exist, and for that forsake it all.

They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire.
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire.

Standing outside the fire, standing outside the fire.
Life is not tried, it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire.

There's this love that is burning, deep in my soul, constantly yearning to get out of control.
Wanting to fly, higher and higher. I can't abide...
Standing outside the fire.

JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY - LIFE'S A DANCE
When I was fourteen I was falling fast for a blue eyed girl in my homeroom class.
Trying to find the courage to ask her out was like trying to get oil from a waterspout.
What she would have said I can't say. I never did ask and she moved away.
But I learned something from my blue eyed girl: sink or swim, you gotta give it a whirl.

Life's a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry about what you don't know.
Life's a dance, you learn as you go.

The longer I live the more I believe that you have to give if you wanna receive.
There's a time to listen, a time to talk, and you might have to crawl even after you walk.
Had sure things blow up in my face.
Seen the longshot, win the race.
Been knocked down by the slamming door, picked myself up and came back for more.

Life's a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry about what you don't know.
Life's a dance, you learn as you go.

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 00:12:35 GMT

I'd really like to make my way to San Francisco one day for a visit. Maybe I'd even like to live there one day.

I want close friends that are all close friends with eachother. Get it? Like on Laguna Beach. Everyone's friends...I mean, for the most part. They can go to their little get-togethers and everyone knows eachother, and is friends with eachother, or at least [pretends to] tolerate eachother. So like a big group of best friends. Not even big, just a group. I've had that once, and I'd kill for it back. All my friends hate eachother. Fuck that, that's dumb.

WANTED:
Friends.
WARNING:
If you suffer from a serious case of SUCK,
don't bother applying for this position.

I bet this entry doesn't even make sense. I'm too tired to fix that.

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 00:20:42 GMT

I'm just really sad and I have nothing and no one to make it better.

I just miss having something or someone to make it better.

EDIT: New layout.

Blame It On The Web But The Spider's Your Problem Now.

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 20:13:59 GMT

I need to get myself together.
I need to figure out who's important.
I need friends that constantly care about me.
I need to put school first from here on out.
I need to go back to the basics.
I need to mean more to myself.
I need to go on hiatus and accomplish the above.

Oh, and I need to start listening to Matt more.
I think he's the most intelligent person I know.
"Friends just hold you back."
If you think about that do you realize how true that is?
Seriously. All you really need is a friend like Matt Chizek.

Lastly, on my list of top five favorite cd's,
Modest Mouse is still probably like runner up.
Even if I forget sometimes.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 21:23:54 GMT

So this morning, I looked at my phone to see what the date was, and one thought came to mind:

OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER.OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER. OCTOBER.

Oh, I love Tricia Mehle. And the fact that we volunteer at The Neptune Festival and get airbrush tatoos...of secret things that I'm not going to mention.

Oh, and I love Hannah Murphy and that she brings me surprise presents in the form of Peanut Butter M&M's and her cute friends.

Oh, and I love Paul Henson. Just because.

HEY!: How is everyone?

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:50:40 GMT

So I've already missed like four A days. Hey what's up, stupid slacker?! I haven't missed any B days, solely because my main purpose in attending school is my Honors English Class. Oh, and Geometry. You should see my quiz grades...they're only fucking awesome. 100, 100, 106, and um...82. But hey that last one doesn't matter! Math is, after all, my worst subject. I wanted to do clubs in school this year, since I didn't do shit last year, but I never have rides home from anything so I can't go. Yeah, shitty!

I think my current favorite song will always be my favorite.
It's been like a month and it never fails to give me goosebumps.

Oh, and I'll never take my AM* bracelet off again.
...Tricia understands.

WEATHER! WEATHER! WEATHER! WEATHER!
I love the weather! Fall is finally starting to...be Fall.
When I can go outside in jeans and a sweatshirt...and not have a heat stroke,
maybe I'll actually leave my house. =)
SOON! I love Fall, oh oh ooooh.

& So, I love helping anyone and everyone. And volunteering.
I'm volunteering this weekend at the Neptune Festival. I'm stoked.
On the contrary, I don't like it when I can't help people.
Like when they need a place to stay. Because their mothers are fuckers.
ANYWAY.

In conclusion:
I'm going to make things change. I'm going to make things better.

PS:
This update isn't for anyone elses enjoyment really, this is just everything [almost] I've been thinking.
I bet you won't read it anywayyy!

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 10:18:28 GMT

Whenever I'm upset or bothered by something, I rearrange my room.
Quite frankly, I'm running out of places to put things.

Everything really just sucks. Hooray, hooray.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 23:05:56 GMT

"Feed Lindsay Lohan and win a free laptop!"
"Spit on a pedestrian and win a free iPod!"

Pop-ups are...you know, cool.

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 19:06:39 GMT

I can't wait until I can move out, into my own apartment.

It'll have hard-wood floors, and I'll always have the windows open. Even in winter. And I'll never get yelled at. And I'll be free to play The Early November really loud with no complaints. And i wouldn't have a lot of furniture. Just comfy chairs, and a big blue couch, and a lamp, and the rest of the space would just be the big hardwood floor. And people would come over whenever they wanted, no need to ask permission. I wouldn't keep my bunny in a cage. And she'd be allowed in any of the rooms. And you wouldn't be allowed to smoke inside. And one wall would be like one of those walls you see on MTV Cribs, where people come over and write all over it. And one wall would just be a really big bookshelf. And everything would always be clean. And I'd probably let anyone who needed a place to stay, stay with me. And I'd spend most of my days out working a job I wanted to be working. And I wouldn't have to worry about a lot of bills because I'd make happy money at my happy job and not blow it on stupid things. And I'd take my dog for frequent walks and she'd have her very own mini bed. But it couldn't be very mini, because she's not very mini either. And my cat would probably co-own my house because that's just the way it'd be. And if I went on vacation to my Grandparent's farm, where I'd probably vacation a lot, then I'd give my close friends a key to the apartment. And I could hang out by myself whenever I wanted. And my kitchen would always be filled with apples and apple juice and ramen and sweet tea. And my kitchen wouldn't be very big, but I'd have one of those island thingys because they're really cool. And for once, my home would actually be somewhere that felt like a home. And I'd always be happy when I was there. And everything would be awesome.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 23:09:08 GMT

I haven't had a real update in a while. And I don't have much to say. But...

I've been listening to New Found Glory's "Sticks & Stones" album a lot lately. If you're ever in a horrible mood, there's your remedy.

I can't wait for Fall and Winter. Eee, sweatshirts & sweaters, jeans & jackets!

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I wish I didn't have hypo-thryoid so I could lose weight because I don't like myself.

I really don't like my family much. Ever, at all. I wish I lived alone, or at least had my license. It's weird realizing how sincere I am when I say that my friends mean everything to me, because they do. And it's weird to realize that when my mom says she wishes she was dead, I don't even cringe anymore. She attempted suicide when I was 12, and sometimes I wish it was more than an attempt, honestly. I know that's horrible but no one understands the half of it. And besides, if she doesn't want to live then why should she have to? And I don't want to hear from anyone that I'll be thinking differently when it actually happens. Or that I'm only saying it because I'm angry. Because I won't think differently, and I'm not always angry but i am always saying it. So there.

Has anything ever happened to you that really made you understand that "it's the little things in life that matter most?" It happens to me all the time. Like today:
Blake Smith called. I answered and the conversation went as follows:
Me - "Hello!"
Blake - "Hey, what are you doing?"
Me - "Nothing, just got hoooooome."
Blake - "Oh, cool. Well I'm about to go play football, but I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you."
Me - "Ahhh! Thanks, I love you too!"
Blake - [Laughs] "Alright, well I'll talk to you later."
Me - "Yeeeeah! Bye."

And that's what I love to hear from my friends. I don't hear it from others half as much as they hear it from me.

Everything will improve drastically when I get my license in May. I'm stoked. Just in time for summer, when I'll be ending my school year with all those A's I better have. I can't wait for this school year to end, when I should be able to be happy. My life will consist of: Friends and a Job. The end. The sweet life.

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 19:19:03 GMT

my big sister likes to eat my food and write in my livejournal.
yeah, that's true love i tell ya.

NO WAY is this hannah.

NO WAY.

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 12:58:35 GMT

So uh, hey, what's up MYSPACE?!

http://www.myspace.com/smelly_cat
Yeah, I never went to sleep last night. Um, bored yeah?!
Add me.

On another note, I can't wait for Fall.

Anyone who means anything.

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 02:22:25 GMT

SO THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HONESTLY MEAN ANYTHING TO ME ANYMORE.
AS IN THE PEOPLE I ALMOST COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
AS IN THE PEOPLE WHO ARE A PART OF ME.

Hannah Magnificent Murphy. Honestly, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Think, where would I be without you? Well, I'd still be in Earth Science wondering whether the Earth revolved around the Sun or the Sun around the Moon. But besides that, I'd be in the exact same position I was in a year ago. And that wasn't a very peachy one, no. You're the only person I can tell anything to and not need to worry about a judgement or a put-down. The best thing about you is that you're real. You don't sugar-coat anything and you take life as it comes, and love every minute of it. You can see through people's fakeness, despite the fact that half the time other people are calling you 'fake' or other ridiculous things. You've been there for me more than anyone I know has, and I'll never be able to thank you enough, but everyone already knows all of this. What everyone doesn't know, is that some of the best times I've ever had have been in your [dead] car singing Fall Out Boy and screaming in drive-thrus. And watching sex shows on your couch with Crocket at our feet. And watching the New Atlantic play, you know, that time the light was hitting your face just right...? And rather than being on our way to Blake's house, we were unknowingly joining The Navy, and then screaming at Blake's dad on the phone. And visiting Jess at Casa's. And out getting sushi with others. And out in Norfolk with Lorenzo, then driving home talking about how great everything always is when we're together. I don't care what anyone says, and I never will, you're an incredible person and you're only getting better. In conclusion, with your level of incredible rapidly increasing, I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us, but it better be good. It'll be good. I love you.

Sara Spectacular Smith. Where do I start? I guess I could start with how you're always the first to volunteer your ears, no matter what. Or I could start with how it never really matters how awful anything is going for either of us, we can always seem to block it out when we're together. Or I could start with how the most memorable memories I have have been made with you. Or I could start with how you and your [also spectacular] family have basically saved my life on numerous occasions. I could also start with how you're a goofy kangaroo, but I'll save the best for last. What I love about you is that you can have your own opinions about my choices and friends, but you don't get your jollies off of constantly putting me down or scolding me for being stupid [which I'm not]. When you say that our friendship will never end over some stupid fight or anything like that, I honestly believe that's true. And yeah, maybe things have been kindof iffy lately because of all the changes and things, but we'll pick it back up again. Of course. Needless to say, this year is just going to be yet another filled with memories of us and stupidity, hahaha. I love you.

Tricia Konstantine Mehle. We definetely have the strangest friendship I've ever taken part in. We knew of eachother for a whole season of volleyball, without speaking more than approximately 15 words to eachother. And now we're best friends. That's a real case of Konfusion. Hahahaha, again, I'm attempting to be serious but when it comes to you, it'll never happen. But I'm trying. First of all, I love how we can really say anything to eachother and the outcome is either a] it turns into a really ridiculous joke...or b] we completely understand what the other is trying to say. And that's my favorite thing about us. You've never told me anything I couldn't relate to or atleast understand, and I'm willing to bet you understand or relate to everything I've told you, too. And we have the most unique senses of humor. I mean really, who would think it's funny to have two Y chromosomes? 'Who's Fresh Prince?' Yeah, wow. Everytime we're together is seriously a great time, no matter what awesome dramatic situations are going on at the time. [Ha]. And considering that I can ride my bike to your house in five minutes or so, we're going to start hanging out basically all the time. I don't care what you have to say about that, so don't bother saying anything. Haaa. But really, one of the most exciting parts of this year is going to be becoming even better friends with you, which is nearly impossible considering how great of friends we already are, but we'll do it. I love you.

Alex loveR Gosien. So this will be difficult. I don't know how to explain us, or this. I can explain that you'll never be replaced, no matter what ever happens with us. And I also think that no matter how many arguments we get into, or how many times we put eachother down, or how many times we say we won't talk again, we always will talk again, even if we're not always as tight. But I'm willing to put money on the fact that after high school, when we're free to do whatever we choose, we will be together. And our differences will forget about themselves and we'll be the best of friends, as close as we were before. We are undoubtedly the ultimate dream team, and I wait for the day we take over the world. No matter what, I always have and I always will love you.

Metal Paul Henson. Ok so I guess our relationship would be considered unusual if you were thinking logically about everything that's happened with us. But I don't think I would've had it happen any other way, no matter how stupid everyone considers me for it. I honestly don't care. I'm stoked on us, and I couldn't be more content with the way things have turned out. You've become one of the best friends I have, out of these five. I never go more than a day without hearing from you, and you're always more eager to hear about everything that's going on in my life, than anyone I know. I love that I usually hear from you between the hours of 12 and 5 in the morning, and once we're talking the conversation doesn't stop. It's really only like that with you, and I love it. And I love that you call me when you need cheering up, or help sorting things out. I love that I'm here for you, and you still want me to be. I love that the first time you ever called me, your excuse for calling was that you lost your wallet, and you were lying. I love that we appreciate eachother now more than ever, and I hope you don't ever forget my number or stop putting it to use because I'm always here for you. I love that everyone thinks I'm stupid for caring so much about you, and I love that I don't care at all what they think. And I love you.

FOR THE TIME BEING, AND FOR A LONG TIME TO COME, THESE PEOPLE ARE THE LAST THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, THE FIRST THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, AND THE CLOSEST THINGS TO MY HEART.

And so I'm excited to see how things change [for better or worse] by the end of this year. Whether or not this list grows or shrinks. Who stays and who goes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everyone stays, and new people are added, and I'D ALSO APPRECIATE IT IF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE WOULD WORK THEMSELVES ONTO THE ABOVE LIST OF PEOPLE VERY SOON BECAUSE I CARE FOR THEM DEEPLY:

Donny Anderson.

Jennifer Lee.

Blake Smith.

Lauren Collins.

Matt Chizek.

Kelsey Womack Paramack.

Ashley Bissell.

Jess Johnson.

"...LIKE FRIENDSHIP IS AN ELECTIVE - FALLING SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LIST AFTER HUSBANDS, CHILDREN, CAREER, HOME, MONEY, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN OUTDOOR GRILLING AND MUSIC APPRECIATION. THAT'S JUST NOT HOW IT IS FOR US."

School.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 20:14:26 GMT

School's whatever.
I was in an awful mood today.
I miss people.
I can't wait for the weekend.

There's not many people in my classes,
but I guess it's better that way.

It's really hard to write a paper about
someone, when they can't tell you anything
about themselves. Rah rah rahhhh.

I wish Math and Spanish classes ate pie.
Because if they did, I'd bake them both
a pie full of poison. DIE MATH. DIE SPANISH.

So whatever. I'm just going to concentrate on school this year,
unlike last year. And I'll be awesome and get awesome grades...

"...AND YOUR APPLAUSE WILL BE DEAFENING."