Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Just Another Pretty Face's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Sunday, September 16th, 2007
12:52 am	Guy had the most wonderful smile. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
10:22 pm	I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier Meow, indeed, my little children. I'm free of all prisons, now. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 9th, 2004
10:09 am	#37 I have a standing job offer. It would mean giving up my footloose ways and 'going over' to San Francisco but the money's good - great, in fact - and I'd be close to one of the major powerbrokers of this territory. It's a shame Atticus is so vile, but since he assures me that he won't chase my ass all that often (right) it might be bearable. It would make a changing from killing and whoring - although it seems I'll have opportunities for both if I really want to pursue them. I'll have to think about it. In the meantime, I need to focus on hunting. The Sabbat handed me my spleen - literally - and proved rather succinctly why I stick to human targets. I'd better not have any lasting scars from this, although I suppose I could always try asking that Tzimisce, Liam, to remove them if they manifest... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
1:33 pm	OOC ( OOC ) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
9:40 am	#36 I'm not being paid enough for this shit. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
2:32 pm	#35 How fortuitious. I've just been given an in with one of the most powerful kindred in the Bay Area - and I don't think anyone realizes the opportunity that it really is for me. Good. I've been bought and paid for as a 'gift' for Atticus of Clan Nosferatu. I'm not really being paid enough to fuck a Nos but there were other factors to consider. I let the Malkavian Primogen - who is either paying off a favor to the Warlord of the Bay Area, or hoping to get one in turn - bargain me down just so I wouldn't lose the opportunity. Yes, Ms. Primogen, I'm just a mindless whore and all I'll be doing is sucking Atticus' dick with your money in my purse. You just keep thinking that... I expect our pillowtalk to be highly informative and - with luck - profitable for us both. Even if I don't have a future here in the Bay Area - which I doubt I do - I might at least leave with a favorable connection to my name. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 26th, 2004
6:24 pm	#34 And what is there to be thankful for, I wonder? I'm just being bitter. I have gifts that any human would envy - talent, passion and strength beyond imagining. But it's this time of year that reminds me that I'm utterly alone. I usually don't mind it - attachments and obligations slow a person down, make them vulnerable - but there are exceptions to every rule. The holiday season encompasses most of those exceptions. I can't help thinking of Guy during this time of year. Christmas 1981 is still the worst on record. I suppose they were right, really, he was a vast liability, but my time with him was the best I've known. For all my bragging up the advantages of undeath, my happiest memories are of when I was most humane - almost human. I doubt I could re-create that joy again, be it with a human or another vampire. I'm going out before I depress myself any further. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
10:39 am	#33 Yesterday, I dreamed that I was dividing myself up - cutting off toes, peeling off chunks of flesh - and selling them to a variety of greasy-skinned faceless people. It would have been laughable had I not woken up to discover that I had been gouging chunks out of myself during the day. I'm going to have to spend the next three nights slumming in singles bars to top myself up again. What a chore. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
8:54 pm	#32 I've had a most illuminating chat with the Seneschal of the territory - my clanmate, coincidentally enough. I think she's rather desperate for Toreador company, and I'm willing to fulfill that need for as long as she keeps telling me things I need to know. The possibility of flat-on-my-back work is slim, unless I want to go the fuss of hooking up with an escort agency which is usually more trouble than it's worth. The kindred population around here is either a) too poor to afford me or b) too intelligent. Ah well. Michelle made mention of some pseudo-Caitiff who might prove a useful meal ticket in a pinch, but nothing is certain. Ready cash might be thinner on the ground but that's alright. I'll get by. At least it means I won't have to scramble to make room in my calendar for other work, should it come up. Catonelli has been trying to get a few digs in, in that regard, and I might have to stamp on his toes rather firmly. There's no need to go showing my cards this early in the game. I shouldn't worry. really. Catonelli's trying to rile me, but has only that one thing to threaten with. If he blows it too early, he's got nothing left. Besides, I get the distinct impression that this court could give a damn. "Another contract killer, ho-hum" Parris might have had a point when he was grumbling in the local coffee house. I should have tried harder to get Catonelli's pants off him when I had the chance in Portland. Ah well. I'd better rein it in a bit when this Sybil person appears. I don't need some Brujah trying to claw my eyes out. I've got a few little jobs to keep me busy, and I hear there's a good pistol range in Sausalito, so all is not yet lost... Current Music: "Mein Herr" - Cabaret (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 21st, 2004
5:06 pm	#31 I must have successfully convinced (most of) the court that I'm a bimbo. One of the courtiers has contacted me, offering to teach me Animalism, because it would make my 'work' so much easier. Oh no, Svetlana, I want nothing in return. I just want to help. Right. And I'm Tsarina Catherine. Whilst it might indeed be useful to know that discipline - for reasons far other than Sergio imagined - I can't trust an offer like that. There's no such thing as a free lunch, anywhere. I'm not helping Matthew out of any goodness of my heart - I need to carve myself a bolt-hole in this territory, and the quickest way to do that is to prove that I'm useful. And that means that the first job is free, and sometimes the second, too. We call it a loss-leader, tovarisch But tonight, I'm bored. Vodka and blood mixed half-and-half isn't doing much to alleviate that, but at least the time passes more quickly. I was thinking about a conversation I'd had with Matthew, years ago. The fool asked me if I had been married. A husband and 2.5 children, working cheerfully for the greater good when Mama goes whoring for the Rodina? Right. I haven't had anything resembling a normal life since I was 19 - and that was several years before I ran into a certain Toreador in Berlin. I don't think I'd like being 'normal', though. It seems rather boring. Really, it does. Current Music: "Who Do You Want To Be?" - Oingo Boingo (Comment on this)
Friday, November 19th, 2004
9:00 am	#30 Expendable? Of course I am. Right until it's realized that I've become essential. Still, I mustn't begrudge this chance to prove to the court that I'm worth keeping around for however long I want to remain here. Reconnaisance isn't my usual sort of thing, but I'm sure the training will come back to me. It'll have to. The menfolk of this court certainly aren't going to keep my nights occupied. As far as I can tell, there's only two or three rich enough for my services and at least one of them is a dangerous freak - even for a kindred. I'm steering clear of Evan Green unless he offers a truly startling amount of money... I've been dreaming of Moscow a lot this week. Generally, it's been a slightly-uneasy pastiche of high school and my early days on the police force. Dream logic is always strange. I didn't sense anything odd about the puddles of blood in the gutters or that my uniform simply wouldn't fit, no matter how I buttoned it up. Everything can wait a couple of days. The weekend is upon me and I want to have a little fun. A lot of fun, actually. I'm going to stay out of San Francisco - clearly it isn't safe - but I hear there are some perfectly amusing Yuppie bars in/around Sausalito. Just as long as I can avoid the Russian expatriate community around here, I'll be fine. You never know who you're going to run into. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
9:20 am	#29 I finally cracked the code from my last bout of automatic writing (I call it that for want of a better name). I had used a very old cipher that I'd almost forgotten about. Most of it was largely incomprehensible, of course. A running narration of my dreams (always unpleasant) lists of long-useless names and phone numbers, and - to my surprise - gossip and rumors about the court of the Bay Area. All jotted down more than two months before I consciously decided to leave Los Angeles. It's an interesting coincidence, but not one I'm going to be disturbed by. Moving northwards up the coast is a perfectly logical progression for one such as myself. If I were such a person as to worry about coincidences, I'd worry more about the extremely clumsy attempt on the Prince's life - if that's what it was - on the night of my arrival. As it is, the court seems largely immune to such superstition, and I believe that I'm safe for the moment. I just have to keep playing the vacuous bimbo... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
9:26 pm	#28 I could eat them all up, yes I could. Maybe one day I will. Ah, passion... Focus, woman. Focus! Smile, preen, turn on cue. Give them exactly what they expect. Time enough for the rest, later. I have all the time in the world. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
11:38 am	#27 I've identified what was bothering me about the kindred of New Haven. They're surprisingly unambitious. For what could be one of the most significant, most powerful courts in the Camarilla, the majority of those I met on Saturday couldn't give a damn about furthering themselves. "We're to sit at the kids tables while the grownups meet" one of them said of a Primogen meeting. I'm lazy. Furthermore, I generally don't stay in one place long enough to get mired in politics. What's their excuse? These vampires could be the envy of the world, but they seem more preoccupied with personal issues than anything of significance. Is it battle-weariness? They seem to have been fighting the Sabbat with precious little in the way of resources for quite some time. Is it simple ennui? None of them seem old enough to be suffering it. Or have the Sabbat managed to establish themselves as the victors in this area without the Camarilla locals even noticing? An apathetic, self-involved, slow-to-motivate court must be a godsend to the enemies of the Camarilla. And why the hell hasn't the Prince of this territory moved to fix this situation? Before a building fell on him, I mean. A few well-timed propaganda stunts and morale-building rallies could do a lot of good around here. If it can work for the Soviets, it can work for practically anyone. I don't know why I'm thinking about this so much. Then again, I've never seen such a fragmented court before. How can I take advantage of it, I wonder? If I'm going to stay, what will be in it for me? (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 14th, 2004
9:30 pm	#26 I have found myself in the San Francisco Bay Area. I don't know how long I'll remain here, as the kindred don't seem too squeamish, so I'm not sure how much real work I'm going to find to keep me occupied. At least one Evan Green was kind enough to provide me with a little ready cash for getting settled - but if there's a next time, he's paying double. Who knew the Tremere could be such vicious freaks? Running into that Brujah, Matthew, was a bit of a surprise. He doesn't believe me that I've not got any agenda - yet. It's fun to tease him, but it could get dreary. I didn't get the impression that he's inclined to keep his mouth shut, and I don't like to advertise my more exotic skills too soon after arriving in a new town. Given what I could observe of the court, they couldn't give a shit about how I earn my daily bread - assuming they even begin to look beyond the trashy surface I presented. They're inclined to suspicion, just a little - I'll have to bother Paris or Portland for a 'letter of reference' before I'm Acknowledged - but either they don't know the right questions to ask, or they're subtle beyond words and my background is being vetted as I speak. I'm not inclined towards the latter. Matthew aside, I'm sure that once I present my bona fides, I'll be left to my own devices. If nothing else, I think this will be a good place to rest for a few months and decide where I'm going next. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 5th, 2004
7:36 pm	#25 It's been a busy month. The Anarchs are easier to get along with than I had expected, but I'm getting a little bored of the proselytizing. Between that and the recent rush of work - nothing of note, quantity over quality - I'm starting to think that it's time to leave the land of the Lotus Eaters. Maybe I'll go to Las Vegas. Current Music: "Mein Herr" - Cabaret (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
10:38 pm	#24 The 1990s were a pain in the ass from beginning to end, particularly for us former Soviets. I'd swallowed the party line for nearly fifty years, and had only become disaffected shortly before glasnost and the great collapse. I don't know how it looked to outsiders, or even other Soviets, but for me, it was a sudden, total meltdown. Routine was thrown out of the window, with safety close behind it. In 1997, I had managed to get myself stranded in Albania. The local economy imploded when it became apparent that everyone - from the federal government to gray-haired grandmothers - had sunk their money into a pyramid scheme. The place came apart at the seams even faster than Russia did. Post-communist kleptocracies are stupid, hateful things. Never follow the suspiciously easy money, Svetlana - it'll bite you in the ass eventually. I had been drifting. Russia had become uninhabitable and stupid, so I went to Germany which was, unsurprisingly, full of Germans. Paris was snotty and had no time for bumpkin cousins from the east, and on it went. As long as I had some money, enough blood and a place out of daylight, that was enough. I think I was in shock. I simply couldn't plan more than a week ahead, if that. That short-sightedness was what landed me Tirana with 10,000 Lek in my pocket (about $100) and a bad case of apathy. I didn't give a shit about anything. I couldn't find stability, so I had to settle for mere survival. Need a throat cut or a dick sucked? Fine, how much are you gong to pay me for it? On and on. It was bloody awful, but I didn't care at the time - I couldn't even tell that I was drowning in shit. In the end the humans drove me out. They were more desperate than I was. Hungrier and cheaper, too. I could have accomodated that - hell, it made me feel a little better, I think, to know there was someone below me on that totem pole of crap - but I ran into one man in particular. He proved to be the final straw. Hunting had been poor in the city - the streets were too violent to be out late at night - and some fool tried to blackjack me as I was heading back to my hovel of the moment after a pointless night. He'd hit me hard, so I went down like a good little vampire. Money could be replaced - the markets for sex and/or violence are rarely sluggish - and I didn't want to break the Masquerade, even in the middle of a city being torn apart by its own infuriated residents. My assailant didn't want money, though. He dragged me into his ridiculous little three-wheeled van and thence to a stinking basement where he had been amusing himself for some time. Then followed two days of shit that I hadn't heard of outside Spetsnaz. Two days before he finally got careless and got within reach of my teeth. It was a close thing. Keeping the Beast at bay and remembering to breathe all the time was almost too much. Remembering to breath and sweat and cry 'real' tears. Tough to do at the best of times - and that wasn't the best of times. The fuckhead had his reasons, I suppose. I didn't give a shit. It didn't matter at all. All that mattered was playing his game long enough to get out. I know why I tolerated it for so long. I was so fucking hungry I couldn't risk breaking free before I got some of his blood in my system. Otherwise, I might have gotten free only to fall straight into a torpor. Being dumped as a corpse in daylight would have been a stuipid way to go. The whole thing was stupid - how I got stuck there, what I was doing, how I finally got out. Stupid, stupid. It shook me out of the apathy, though. Squealing agony for 48 hours or so will do that for a person, I guess. It makes you rethink your priorities and question what you've been doing. I sure as hell did. I got out of that hole in the ground and fast-talked my way onto the first boat out of there. You know your life is fucked up when the middle-of-nowhere in Greece is a step up from what went before. I spent six months in Athens, cleaning myself up and figuring out what to do next, but I'll save all that for another time... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
11:08 pm	#23 I wish I could say that it's been an interesting week, but it hasn't. I found the two-bit crook that gave me grief last week and took care of him. It wasn't much of a challenge. What might be a challenge is dealing with the other kindred of this city. I thought I was keeping my head down, but I blew it. It's my own fault. I shouldn't have gone to that party or, at least, I shouldn't have thought that I would be the only vampire there. It seems that the local Scourge wants a word - and there I was thinking that the Anarchs were different from the Camarilla. But it's not like I"m looking for something different. I fled Europe one step ahead of the Sabbat - I just heard the news about Prague, and it's such a shame - and I had hoped that the United States would prove safer. Some hope. I have no idea if the locals will tolerate my ongoing presence. I'll have to put on my most charming face and do my best. I'm getting tired of moving around so much. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
10:40 pm	#22 I want to feel tired - physically tired. Aching muscles, fatigue toxins, shakiness from pushing my body too hard. I want that. It's stupid, really. A tireless body is one of the most significant advantages we kindred have but there are times when I detest it. Maybe it's because such fatigue is so utterly human. Humanity isn't something I miss all that much - honestly, the state ground a lot of those feelings out of me long before my incident in Berlin - but the missing of it manifests in small, surprising ways. The occasional urge for a leg cramp, a headache, anything like that is the one that hits me hardest. Pain from injury isn't the same. A little effort, and my flesh is whole. Sometimes I don't even notice the extent of the wounds. I know that there are certain wounds that can cause lingering damage, damage which can take weeks to heal. I'm almost curious to find out what that's like, but I hear it leaves scars, too. Scars, I don't need. Besides, it still wouldn't be the same. I'd know the difference. It's the mundane things that remind us of humanity. How trite. Maybe I'm just a sentimental fool. Current Music: "Blame it On Caine" - Elvis Costello (no, really!) (Comment on this)
8:38 am	#21 Looking back over what I've written so far, I've noticed that I don't talk about friends - at least, none that survived very long. There's a reason for that, but now's not the time to discuss it... (Comment on this)