A backhanded 'thank you' is worse than none.  That's all I have to say.

Whatever I did, I guess I'm sorry.

I can't fix anything by being angry at you, trying to find ways to convince myself that it's all your fault and not mine, that you're the selfish one.  It won't make me feel any better.  I'm better off just getting over it; trying to figure out what I did wrong and take responsibility, learn something from it... and just let go of whatever anger I might feel.

I wish you had said something to me sooner, given me a chance to make it right — or at least try — before you decided to cut me out of your life with no warning.  But I guess I get it.  No one likes confrontations.  If you thought it was easier, better, to just forget about me and give up on our friendship... then that's your choice.  And it's your right.

I know there's nothing I can do about it.  I know it's dumb to try.  The best thing I can do is try to forgive the hurt, and hope that one day you'll forgive me as well.

I wonder why people never just post short, random things on LJ like you might on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook.  Or... maybe they do?

Anyway.  Anybody wondering what's been going on with me lately?  No?

Oh well, I'll tell you anyway.



I'm sick with a cold.  For like, the fourth or fifth day now, I think.  I can't remember for sure.  I hope to get better soon... but I'm not doing much to speed it along. :\

I've been working on hearts_and_guts stuff.  I mean, duh.  If you know me at all, you probably already know that.  For anyone who cares: the submissions we've received so far have been pretty stellar, and I honestly think that everyone's gonna love their gifts.  That being said... I'm up to my elbows in pinch-hitters and dropped assignments right now.  I wish I knew how to do this faster.

I met a cute, very charming guy on New Year's Eve, who gave me a ride home from the subway.  I know, I know... don't take rides from strangers in the middle of the night... but I did, and I haven't been axe-murdered.  Don't worry, I'm not going to make a habit of it; and no one else should, either.  Anyway... as I was saying, met a cute guy.  Seemed like he was flirting, and he asked me to go get a drink after, but it was late, so instead I gave him my number (like a genius, did not think to ask for his).  Long story short, he hasn't called.  Maybe I imagined the whole flirting thing; or maybe he was only interested in a quick hook-up, so since that didn't happen, he was never planning to follow up.  I dunno.  Who knows, maybe I'm better off.  Still sucks, though.

And this is getting a lot ramblier than I thought it would.  Moving on...

I've read some very good fic in the last day or two.  Fic I should probably rec — but I'm too lazy to go looking for links right now.  If you want recs, I guess, then just ask me.  Or I may post them later.  (They're all Metalocalypse, I'm afraid; sorry non-MTL fans.)

Speaking or recs, I've somehow managed to convince my friend Sheila to check out Men of a Certain Age, which I must say is a proud moment for me.  I love getting people into things; but more than that, I really think this is a show that she specifically would enjoy.  I don't know how many more of you might like it or not, but I would certainly recommend checking it out, if you have the time.

On a related note: thanks to tiktaalikroseae, my interest in Supernatural has been mildly resparked.  Mildly.  No, no... I really do want to watch it again some day, and see all that new stuff that's going on, because it does sound good.  But it would take a lot more time and effort than I've got right now.  Oh, for a good friend with Netflix.



Okay, random update over.  Anybody out there got anything to say? ask? shout at me?  I dunno, I'm bored.  But busy.  I crave human interaction, yet, like a true hypocrite, I can't promise I'll respond right away.  Or, ever.  No, that's a stretch... I do make an effort to respond to comments eventually, I swear.  Regardless, do talk to me if you're so inclined.

Enough stream of consciousness... back to work.

It's Thanksgiving, and I thought that I should really try to post something in honor of the holiday... especially since I haven't updated in a while.  Now, I could do something mushy, maybe a list of all the people I'm thankful for in my life, like I did a few years back.  But I don't really feel like it.  So instead, I thought I would try to start a meme.

Step 1: Comment here with any 3 fictional characters, from any fandom(s), as long as they are characters/fandoms I know.

Step 2: Below the cut, I will put what I think each character would be most thankful for this holiday.  It might be just a simple response, or it might be a picture or even a drabble... pretty much anything, as long as it answers the question.

Step 3: Repost this in your own journal (IF YOU WANT TO), with the same instructions.

( Responses below the cut...Collapse )

Uhh... if you're not sure which fandoms I'm familiar with, just gimme some characters, and if I don't know them I'll tell you so.  But for the record, my main fandoms right now are Glee, Metalocalypse, and Harry Potter.

Anyway, I'm really hoping at least one or two people do repost this.  I've never started a meme before... but I think it would be pretty awesome if this thing actually took off.  lol.



Also!  If you know of any existing memes that are Thanksgiving-related, I'd love some links, because I think I might like to do a couple.  Or you can just comment and tell me how your holiday is going (or just how your day is going, if you're not American/don't celebrate Thanksgiving).

The point is, I miss talking to you guys. <3

It's looking a lot like I might end up alone at Infinitus.  newengland32 just dropped out of going, and jedipirate is pretty sure she can't afford it...  (Neither can jesshrules1986 or thewayoutis.)  And rabid_mexican would totally have come to Florida, if not to the con itself, except that it's his grandfather's birthday.  Darn it.

*sigh*

Why don't I have more local area friends?  Or at least more close friends (like JediPirate, who is actually in another state) who like Harry Potter?

I know, I know.  I'm sure I'll still have fun at the conference.  I was at both LeakyCon and Azkatraz by myself last year, and I really enjoyed both (well, less so Leaky... but that was just poorly put-together).  But I still hate the idea of going alone, because I know half my time will likely be spent looking for someone to hang out with.  Plus, I was hoping to spend some extra time in Florida after the con... which I know I won't get nearly as much out of all by myself.  I suck at doing touristy things.

:\

In the process of my writing up another post, the lovely jedipirate has decided to play thesaurus fairy and help me find a word that basically means "to make a royal mess of something" (...which is a phrase I might actually use instead, come to think of it).  During this brave endeavor we have discovered two things:

1. One synonym for "blunder" is "boner."  (Which I already knew, thanks to SuperDickery.com; or you can read it here, without the ads.)¹

2. Another synonym for "blunder" is "boo-boo."  Which presumably means that "boner" and "boo-boo" are in fact also synonyms.

jedipirate: Considering both of those, it gives whole new meaning to "let me kiss your boo-boo."  *cough*
supes_: *cracks up*
supes_: ...i kinda want to post about this, now.
jedipirate: lol... of course you do.

And yes, I do believe that was worthy of its own lj entry.

Good night, folks!

---

¹ And according to this, the word "boner" actually became slang for an erection around the same time/shortly after this comic was printed.  Coincidence?  I ask you.²

² Of course, I was a little torn between the icon I'm posting with — which doesn't get nearly enough use — and my horribly inappropriate "Bale's Dilemma" Joker icon.  Because honestly, how could I not think of that video?  Most of you have probably seen it, but if you're one of the few who hasn't: GO WATCH.  It's... terrible, but also brilliant.  That's about the only way I know to describe it.

(Yes, there's a poll at the end.  So you can feel free to skip my boring ramblings. :P)


I am acutely aware, as perhaps are some of you, that this journal needs content.  Yet I often find myself at a loss of what to write about (and I don't want this to turn into one of those journals where every entry is a Writer's Block post... or Joss forbid, a quiz).  So!  I've thought of something else that could fill some of this content gap.

See, part of the problem in trying find something to write about, is that I enjoy expressing myself through conversation far more than the short essay format of most LJ entries (especially when it starts to feel like no one is reading said essays).  So instead, why not give conversation a shot?  At least once every other week, starting next week, I will post a question about a subject that interests me — and hopefully will interest some of you.  Anyone and everyone is welcome to reply, whether to me or to each other, ideally sparking some fun discussion in the comments.

Now, I know that my readership isn't huge, so I'll mostly likely have to pimp each topic to at least one community (I'd try posting directly to communities, but that would defeat the purpose of giving this journal more content).  Still, I want my actual f'list to be interested.  So here is a poll to find out what you guys would most like to talk about.

It's open to everyone, though... so you can still vote, even if we don't have each other friended. :)

Poll #1537394 Which of these would you like to discuss?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 17

Fandom

Entertainment

Creative

Real Life

Do you expect you'll participate in these discussions?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I keep missing birthdays.  Not forgetting them, but forgetting to post about them on the day of.  I swear, this time I really meant to... time just totally got away from me.  I put it off before going to my mom's, then got home late, and before I knew it was 11:30 — which in England was already Wednesday (not to mention, the middle of the night).  Figured I'd better just wait till tomorrow (today).  But, regardless...



I MISS YOU!  But...  This year I'm going to catch up on LJ more — which will mean talking to you more, I promise.  (I might also make a few more attempts to catch you on Yahoo!)  You're such an amazing, wonderful person; and even though we don't share a fandom anymore, I don't want to lose you as a friend.  You were always one of my best friends on LJ, and among the sweetest, nicest people I've ever met. <3<3<3

I've been wondering what you're into these days.  Is it still just anime, or is there a chance we might find another fandom in common?  I won't lie: it would be awesome if we could.  Also?  I KNOW I still owe you arts from last year.  Life got hectic and I forgot to actually get your request. *epic fail*  But see, this year, I actually have a New Year's resolution to keep me in line: minimum one art per month.  So if you ask, I will definitely draw you something (and other fandoms besides HP are fine, as long as you can point me to some reference).  I'll even draw you two, to make up for last year. :P

I'm so sorry I nearly missed it, darling!

I know we don't really know each other that well yet, but I think you're pretty awesome, and I bet you and I will eventually get to be great friends.  You're a talented writer and a really cool person (who's fun to talk to and I feel like I have a lot in common with), so I'm glad to have the chance to get to know you better, instead of just admiring your work.  I'm sorry I've been so busy with H&G the past couple months that we haven't much chance to talk... but hopefully that will change. :)

Anyway, I hope you had a fantastic birthday.  And here's to a great upcoming year!

It's 4:00 AM, and I am on a Metalocalypse high.

Awesome Thing #1
I just came from the Boston show of the 2009 Dethklok/Mastodon tour.  It was my first major concert, and my first metal show.  I might've enjoyed it more if the acoustics were better, I admit... but otherwise, it was effin' spectacular!  Brendon was AMAZING on stage (I know, big surprise), the music videos were mind-blowing, and?  I actually headbanged.  Okay, so it's not like that's never happened before — but still.

Awesome Thing #2
Besides getting me a ticket to the show, which was already pretty freaking amazing of her (*glomps liek whoa*), feraltoki gave me a deluxe copy of the Dethalbum II.  Oh, and a Dethklok teeshirt... with the horse from "Thunderhorse," my favorite DK song!  *ded from glee*

Awesome Thing #3
dethepisode just opened, and we already have 21 watchers and members!  (It's mostly thanks to tod_hollykim helping us get the word out, so many thanks and cookies to her for that.)  Looks like this thing is gonna take off after all, and hopefully it'll be as fun and awesome as the_ginga and I have hoped it would be. :D

By the way, guys: check out the community layout (namely the header).  And let me know what you think.  Even if you're not an MTL fan (and I know most of you aren't), I think you'll be able to appreciate it.  I'm pretty darn proud of this thing, if I do say so myself. >_>

Awesome Thing #4
Less than two weeks till new Metalocalypse!!  ...No, seriously.  CAN. NOT. WAIT.

*bounces up and down*



Alright, it's late... so I'm going to wonder off to bed now.  I think I'm just tired enough that all this excitement shouldn't keep me from falling asleep.  But don't be surprised if I'm still just as buzzed and gleeful tomorrow.  :DD

Okay, here goes...

A couple of you have recently friended me, most likely due to Azkatraz or LeakyCon.  Which is awesome.  But embarrassingly enough, I must confess that I don't fully remember who everyone is.  Beyond that, there are some of you who added me a while ago (whether randomly, or because we've met somewhere) and I just never added you back.

Heck, even if I have added you... I still wouldn't mind knowing more about y'all, and making sure I remember who everyone is. :P


#1 Reason to Fill This Out: I haven't added you back, and you'd like to encourage me to do so.

(Right off the bat, I can't promise I'll add you (though filling this out will make it MUCH more likely).  It's nothing personal, just that I try to only add journals I'm going to follow.  I'll still talk to you if you comment, and I hardly ever f'lock; so you're welcome to keep reading my stuff if you so wish.  If I do friend you back, how soon that happens will depend on how busy I am.)

#2 Reason to Fill This Out: I have you friended, but we don't know each other well... or you just feel like indulging me.  (Please do!)

(Yes, I'll admit it: some of you I've added back, but I don't remember for sure who you are/how we met.  I'm not going to say who, because it's embarrassing.  But that's why the more people fill this out, the better.)

( Survey below the cut!Collapse )


Please post the questions and your answers as a comment to this post.  To make everyone comfortable, initial comments will be screened; I won't unscreen them without your permission.

I'm in a good mood right off the bat today. :D

(Heck, I'm even in the mood to update my journal, without having an immediate need to do so.  How rare is that?)

Part of this is thanks to chatting with the_ginga yesterday, which really helped get me out of the funk I was in.*  Another part is that I saw one of my icons randomly being used by someone I didn't specifically make it for.  And it's unseemly how happy/excited this sort of thing makes me.  Enough for one of those lame, corny anime smileys, even:  ^________^;

I do wish the person had commented (or if they did comment, that I hadn't missed it); especially because I'm really curious how someone not on my f'list came across an icon I hadn't publically shared yet.  But since it is snaggable, and used with credit, it's all good.

Mostly, I'm just hyped to see it getting some use. *bounces*


Oh, and I might even get to go to the Adult Swim party at the Santo Party House in New York, next week.  Emphasis on "might," sadly, because I can't go unless I find (a) someone to take the bus or carpool with, or (b) a place to crash in NYC overnight...

But I did just post about this at capslokdethklok, checking to see if anyone from Massachusetts is going.  And because I'm in high spirits at the mo', my hopes are up.

&&&&

---

* That's not to say don't comment on that post.  It would still seriously help to talk about this with a few more people.

Metalocalypse people on my f'list... I know there's few of you, but you're there.  And I could really use you guys right now.

I'm having major doubts about the community I'm working on, dethepisode — the one I first posted about last summer.  I'm just not sure right now whether it's worth the effort, or if anyone will join, or if I'll be interested enough/have the energy to keep it running (especially if I don't find a co-mod).

But since the new season starts this fall — the time to make up my mind is now.


So, I'd really love someone to talk to about all this and hear your thoughts on the matter.  Sometimes that really helps, y'know?  I guess if you're not an MTL fan, but just a friend who wants to lend an ear or offer some advice, that would be great too. <3

Okay, this is a question for everyone.  Don't just fill out the poll; give me your thoughts.  Even if you don't know me — if you're reading this, I want to hear your opinion!


I've been thinking a lot about custom-made LJ styles* lately (since looking through many of them while working on dethepisode and st_games).  And I've come to the conclusion that there are way more great ones than I myself could ever possibly use.

I'll be honest: some of the default styles I've seen people using are a bit hard on the eyes; or at best, pretty boring.  Yet of those on my f'list, hardly anyone uses a custom layout — despite the fact that they're free, much prettier than the lj default styles, and usually a snap to install.

So, I want to know...

Poll #1419078
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2

Do you use a custom layout* for your journal?

If you don't, why not?

If someone (say, me) offered to help you pick out/install/customize a layout, would you be up for that?

Would the offer of a matching header and/or icon help persuade you?

Obviously if you answered "yes" to the first question, you can skip the next three. :P

Anyway... don't just vote, comment!  Tell me what you think about this, and why you are for or against custom styles.  I'm really curious, guys.

---

* Let me be clear: when I say "custom layout" or "...style," I'm not talking about taking an LJ default theme (that's those ones you chose from when you go to customize your journal) and changing a few colors, or adding your own header/background.  I'm talking about a layout custom made to be of a higher quality, by someone with a keen aesthetic eye and professional coding skills.

Check out the stuff at mintyapple, for example, to see what I mean.

Happy Day-After-Your-Birthday, Itchy!

I'm sorry I didn't have time yesterday to post.  (I didn't forget, honest!)

Anyway... we haven't talked in a while; mostly because I've been too busy for y!Gallery lately, and that's where I see you most.  I really wish you were on AIM, so we could chat more, because I definitely do miss you. *smooshes*  But either way, you mean a ton to me.  You're incredibly talented, but also sweet and fun and just a pleasure to talk to and be around.  I'm really lucky to have you as a friend! <333

(Oh, and I promise to try to visit you on y! more.  Fo' srs.)

Also, I'd love to make you a birthday icon... if you want one.  Um, any requests?





The rest of you guys: my next post will not be a rant or a birthday post, I swear.  No, really.  >_>

I know I'm doing this sorta last minute, but...

Anybody out there going to Azkatraz this summer?

I'm sure of all the HP fans on my f'list, there must be someone going to San Francisco.  And as you may have guessed, I don't have hotel plans yet.  Basically, I'd just really like someone to room with who's not a complete stranger, y'know?  Plus, it'd be really fun to get to know some of you guys better this way.  (If someone has a room but no more free beds... I don't even mind sleeping on the floor if I have to.)

Anyway, please let me know?  I'd be way in your debt. <3

Okay, first of all...



I'm sorry I don't have anything for you right now... but I would love to make you a late birthday icon, if you want one.  Just let me know what you'd like it of. :)

In the mean time, I just wanted to say that I'm really glad to have you as a friend.  You're a very bright and positive person, so talking to you (or just seeing a comment from you) always lifts my mood.  You're sweet, fun to chat with, and at times utterly adorable...  And even though we haven't gotten to know each other well yet, I hope that will change over the coming year.  May it be a great one, darling!


I also want to wish a—



Okay, guys, I didn't forget... I swear.  What happened, was: I knew one of your birthdays was coming up, but I realized last minute that the other's birthday was on the same day.  So I had a gift for one, and not the other; which I thought would be pretty lame, when saying "Happy Birthday" to both of you.  So, I figured I should make a second one before I do the birthday post — but RL got in the way, and it took a little longer than I thought.  *fail*

Oh well.  Anyway, I have birthday icons* for both of you (I trust you can figure out which is which :P).  Fae, I didn't know what you might like... so, uh, I just went by your H&G request.  If it's not really what you wanted, let me know and I'll do something else.



To that, I just wanna add that both you guys as friends really mean a lot to me.  You're both funny — in your own very different ways, — both great to talk to, and have each done plenty to keep me sane and make me happy when I needed cheering up.  I'm glad for the things we have in common, but also enjoy our differences; and have generally had a lot of fun knowing both of you so far.  Perhaps, hopefully, we'll all get to be even better friends in the coming year!


So... I am sorry that I suck and didn't manage this on your actual birthdays. *hides*  (I'll try to correct that mistake next year, I promise.)

But!  Pretty late, but just as great — right?  No?  Maybe...  Okay, fine; I just wanted to say that because it rhymes. :P

---

* For those [other than the birthday boy and girl] who might be interested: all icons in this post are sharable.  Please comment if taking!

Well, it's officially my birthday in one month.  No, wait... that was Saturday.  Er.  To be clear: my birthday is on the 21st.  Of April.  So... just under a month, actually.

If you need any help remembering, I'm smack dab in the middle between Adolf Hitler, the leader of German Nazism [04/20/1889], and Vladimir Lenin, the founder of Soviet Communism [04/22/1870].  Opposing evils on both ends.  And yes, I love telling people that.  *dork*


Anyway, just in case someone out there wants to give me a gift, for some crazy reason...  What I would most love is to get some birthday fic (although, art and icons are both close seconds).*  So if you decide to be totally awesome and write me something, feel free to ask me for a prompt/challenge/whatever.  Or, if you have your heart set on it being a surprise— well, uh— try jedipirate, I guess.  She can probably tell you what I like. :P

I also definitely don't hate getting things in the mail.  So, um... if you're someone I know, and you feel like sending me a card or something?  Comment, and I'll email you my address.


This year I'm going to be 26.  I really hope it's more fun than my 25th!  &&&

---

* Note that all these things are free.

Happy birthday, Twilight Speaks! <3

Boy, there are a lot of these in March, aren't there?  lol.  I guess it must be all those reproductive spring vibes, making people have babies...

Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm really, really glad we've gotten to know each other.  Your friendship has come to mean a lot to these last couple of months, and you and I both know you've really kept my spirits up and helped me through some stuff I might not've been able to handle on my own.  Doing that for someone you're only just getting to know is pretty amazing... so, I guess what I'm saying is: thanks for being such an awesome person!  I'm lucky to have someone like you in my fandom, and even more so to count you as a friend. <33

Also, I made you something.  Last week actually; but I thought I'd hold on to it till your actual birthday...





I really hope you like, darling!
(But if you don't, that's okay.  I'll just use it myself. :P)


If anyone else wants it, well... I guess that's gonna be up to Twilight, whether or not it's sharable.  I certainly don't mind (as long as you comment and credit).  Or if you just feel like telling me it's pretty, that's cool too. XD

/douchebag mode