| this is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart |
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[25 Oct 2006|07:25pm] |
i wish that i could fly
so i could travel the world
whenever i please.
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| . i donno |
[11 Sep 2006|10:14pm] |
i know its wrong, but how wrong can be
a crooked mind you do not see.
a strange addiction will come about
but the pity i can do without.
smoke will curl beneath my lips
another night down below his hips.
my teary eyes will start to glow
as my heart of stone begins to show.
i have not committed some horrid crime,
its just the thought of running time.
knowing soon it will be up.
each breath is shortened with every puff.
i may be wrong, but i know your not right.
i see my skin is fading white.
my hair is ragged, and my clothes are dirt
but still i ly, half alert.
partially naked, underneath my skin
a tired young girl has become too thin.
a distorted view from a dependant mind,
about to lovers intertwined.
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[06 Sep 2006|10:00pm] |
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my life is a story book. and it may not seem all that interesting, but regardless, i want it told. i want the public to read my mind, and understand where im coming from when i stand up tall and scream out "FUCKYOU". i want my story told to the world, but that doesn't mean you know me. you dont have to know a thing about me. to be honest, i dont know much about me. i know of experiences, and relationships, heartbreaks, and maybe just a little bit about the world we live in. at least my world.
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[05 Aug 2006|06:35pm] |
i am overwhelmed with life. its beautiful, its painful, its everything and nothing wrapped up in some sort of wild colorful orb. time passes so quickly these days and each day i learn something new. i very often sit on the porch and watch the nights fade away to darkness. i begin to realize i can no longer trust any body but myself, and my self alone. i love the physical possessions i own for the reasons being they cannot deceive me. and i am now fully aware of my vulnerability to heart breaks and let downs. i have been cared for and i have been betrayed. i have been lied to and i have lied to others. what are we all hiding from? its as if were all scared to see truth in our lives. i do not need the unwanted bullshit from my supposed friends. and i do not need people holding me back from the fun i want to have. people should stop there stupid fucking bullshit lies because your not fooling anybody but yourself.
and for those who think the grass is greener on the other side..
whats so great about green grass anyways?
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[06 Jun 2006|09:20pm] |
honey now if im honest.
i still dont know what love is.
<3.
summer countdown: i dont even remember what it feels like to be free.
i'll find out shortly.
i get my nose pierced tomorrow.
new hairstyle thursday. im contemplaying the colors/ how short. but i guess ill have to decide.
boy life= eh. but thats life.
and all the rest i guess you could say
is just above average.
sounds rather lame, and maybe a bit mediocre and common.
but theres obviosly somebody watching over me right now.
goodluck to my world. my summer, my heart, and everything in between.
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[10 May 2006|04:04pm] |
so i beleive im taking a break from the bloodrelative family life.
and staying where my real family is.
and my friends
and happiness. etc. etc.
just a lame but quick update
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[02 May 2006|08:27pm] |
im taking up the livejournal addiction again. i need a replacement. im extremely stressed out/ idk what to do with myself. the worst part of this day is ive come to realize things can never be the same as they were. they never are. my ideas of fun are getting lame. and my friends are wearing thin. were just passing moments in time.
ive got some problems but the list goes on too long. ive got some love but its tucked away in a box for later use. ive got some heart but it belongs to something else. ive got some friends, but they cant comeout and play. i iwsh the sun would shine downnn on me.
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| pure sunshine |
[28 Mar 2006|10:07pm] |
it begins.
and you see right through my stubborn ways.
Those unpurified eyes read right through me.
interpret every defect in my distorted heart.
advantages to your side.
you make your move;
already knowing how this will end.
and my virgin skin experiences faith for the first time in years.
intentions are cold. as is my soul.
as you corrupt me. You are completely aware of the destruction you induce.
determined i trust. as i lie wide awake on restless nights.
when the stars hide behind blankets of clouds.
and leave me here cold.
you burn me. but chills still race down my spine.
until the very end
when all which remains is complete desolation.
CHS.
( Read more...Collapse )
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[19 Mar 2006|05:57pm] |
and i started to sink like the moon
tends to do if you stare at it too long
then you blink and its gone
and we crawl to our sleep with the dawn
and isn't it the same mistake?
it's not much of an escape
and isn't it the same?
i took a trip down memory lane this weekend.
i miss old friends
old times, old hobbies
old friends; old styles,
old problems; old friends;
old relationships; old hangouts.
:-/.
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[28 Feb 2006|05:07pm] |
foolishly, i let your ocean rippled eyes sink through me.
and your hearts pounding so loud i can feel the pulse beneath my toes
as they sink further and further into a sandy ground.
you warned me but i didnt listen.
that everytime i'll hear the clocks tick, i'll feel your beat.
selfishly i stole your breath away
and i knew it the moment i saw your smile.
obvious to the eyes whom can interpret the purest beauty.
it was the way your teeth clenched at the thought of a paradise unknown to the world;
Oh, the creativity your mind revolves around, i find it strange.
as strange as strange can be, this one coincidince that we encountered
and the happiness that followed along.
your smile painted my portrait
and it expressed me.
thank you for painting me.
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[26 Feb 2006|06:25pm] |
i got home from my cruise today.
ill have pictures tomorrow.
melissa has been passed out for hours now and im going to wake her up.
but
:-D i had a fun weeeeeeeeeeeeeek
:):)
<333
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[18 Dec 2005|10:34pm] |
it feels good to fall, will you take my hand and jump with me? the air
feels good on the way down. i never write what im up to anymore. just a
bunch of scrambled words that mean nothing to anyone except to me. i
guess thats why i write it. because nobody has to understand but me. it
is MY journal anyways. livejournal is lame. so is the winter. truely
beautiful. but so hard to get around in snow. hell. well screw the
snow, because im off to florida tomorrow. it should be pretty lame.
whatever though maybe ill come back with a nice tan.. life has been
mediocre. not that its bad, its really great. but nothing exciting has
happened to me lately. its all same old same old. and i love same old.
but i can feel my insides screaming to break through. i need change of
scenery. i wish i could have an in between of my old self, and my new
self
( i wish i knew you better.Collapse )
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[13 Nov 2005|09:23pm] |
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