the happiest fish underscore. ([info]spillingvelvet_) wrote,
@ 2004-01-20 23:48:00
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Current mood: artistic
Current music:nichts.

Seafarer - Extended.
whoops. i spoke too soon...



Viggo was thirty-seven when he lost his heart and began his collection - bits of smooth, white satin from the seamstress, and brown thread as thin as spidersilk and dark as a moonless sky.

They thought he was crazy when they asked him the reason. “You can’t make yourself a lover, Viggo, it just isn’t done.” He let the words roll off his back and chewed his needle thoughtfully.

“It just hasn’t been done before,” he whispered to himself in the early hours of morning, working feverishly while his heart ached with hope.

He was rarely seen in the village for he only came out at dawn, when he would stand on the beach, cocking his head to hear secret messages from the sea. Soon it would whisper, soon, soon, soon.

Viggo’s Creation was complete on the eve of his thirty-eighth birthday. He took his bundles outside in the midday sun, and wrapped them carefully in his rough fishing net. The ocean told him to wait and sit and watch. He stayed all day by the water, smoking a pipe and staring down the sun.

At twilight, the boat sprang violently through the breakers - at midnight it flowed smoothly past the sand bar and out across the horizon. Viggo paddled his hands raw and when his biceps bunched up and locked in protest, and his bleeding fingers lost their grip on the oars, he cast his net into the sea and his voice to the night.

Long hours passed; he prostrated himself on the rough-hewn bottom, watching the sky. If his back grew numb to the criss-crossing wood slats, he’d twitch for a new position and sigh quietly at the new bite of pain.

A splash at dawn woke him from a slumber that he didn’t recall slipping into. He peered carefully over the rim of bleached wood and spied his heart in the water, shaped perfectly into a smooth, long-limbed boy with inky hair and blue tinged lips. Viggo smiled triumphantly, and laughed.




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[info]daisuke_yoshiki
2004-01-21 05:10 am UTC (link)
Whoa... O.O

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:12 am UTC (link)
haha.. yeah. its pretty out there...

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[info]buhfly
2004-01-21 05:15 am UTC (link)
That's pretty nifty. *claps*

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:06 pm UTC (link)
*bows* thank you very much!

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[info]bunnysquee
2004-01-21 05:25 am UTC (link)
when i read your first snippet, i thought Viggo had drowned Orli. here it seems like the sea has transformed Viggo's doll into Orli. the blue tinged lips signified death in the first snippet, but here it merely seems like Orli is cold. i was a little creeped out by the first snippet but now am actually a little enchanted with this story.

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:07 pm UTC (link)
i thought Viggo had drowned Orli.

yeah, thats what a lot of people got out of it.

now am actually a little enchanted with this story.

oohh!! thank you!

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[info]corimari
2004-01-21 05:26 am UTC (link)
Wow. I followed your original "Seafarer" post in, um, one or another of those LoTR comms to your journal here. I was going to comment on the original one, but since this one is here, well...

I thought the original was spectacular [yes...that really is the first word I thought of...I'm a big dork...] and then I read this and just went *GASPILOVEYOUGASP* Creepy, yes, beautiful, definitely.

I read your comment about wanting to write a novel in this fashion--I say, MAKE HASTE WITH YOU!!! :)

Kat

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:09 pm UTC (link)
and just went *GASPILOVEYOUGASP* Creepy, yes, beautiful, definitely.

*giggle* thank youuu!!!!

(also, wonderful icon! velvetgoldmineyes!!!)

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[info]breakfastserial
2004-01-21 05:46 am UTC (link)
It's beautiful. Your writing is eccentric and full of wonder. *just dies*

you must be +friended. *mutters to self* yes yes, only decent thing to do, yes. Ahem. Sorry about my weirdness! Once again I say, nice fic!

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:10 pm UTC (link)
It's beautiful. Your writing is eccentric and full of wonder. *just dies*

wow! thank you so much!!

*friends you right back!*

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[info]lassegalen
2004-01-21 05:50 am UTC (link)
Wow--very impressive, this style is enthralling and ethereal. I thought the original was quite intriguing, very cryptic--I think I like the extended version much better--not because it explains the premise more (though it does) but because the premise in itself is something I never suspected! It feels almost like one of Viggo's poems, or one of those arthouse short films that really make you think. I guess what I'm babbling about is--I really enjoyed this :o)

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:13 pm UTC (link)
thank you so much!!

i was inspired partly by a fellow writer for the original, and then the second part was partly inspired by a greek myth i studied in school.

thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!

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[info]breakofdawn15
2004-01-21 06:45 am UTC (link)
hehe, i am gonna go with the crowd and say WOW... very suitable, umm, (adjective, word, noun?) exclamation you see :o)

Seriously, this is a beautiful peace... thank you...

*misses the ocean*

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:14 pm UTC (link)
hehe, i am gonna go with the crowd and say WOW... very suitable, umm, (adjective, word, noun?) exclamation you see :o)

heheheheeee! THANKS!

*misses the ocean*

right there with ya, sister! *plans a trip to the outer banks*

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[info]novanumbernine
2004-01-21 08:08 am UTC (link)
okay, i admit at first i was worried that this would spoil the first version...but in fact it does add to it, very much so. :)

reminds me a bit of svankmajer's film "little otek".

n.x :)

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:16 pm UTC (link)
okay, i admit at first i was worried that this would spoil the first version...but in fact it does add to it, very much so.

i was pretty nervous too... perhaps i shouldn't have posted teh first one until later, but i think the positive feedback helped inspire it... i dunno.. but thank you so much!!

reminds me a bit of svankmajer's film "little otek".

not familiar... *ponders*

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[info]novanumbernine
2004-01-22 01:27 pm UTC (link)
http://www.reelingreviews.com/littleotik.htm

n.x :)

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-22 04:28 pm UTC (link)
oooh! thanks!

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[info]trunks_angel
2004-01-21 12:10 pm UTC (link)
Just like the original, truely amazing and very beautiful with the style you've written it. I can picture all this describes in my mind and I love the imagery. Very well done!

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:17 pm UTC (link)
thank you so much!!

*beams*

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[info]lady_razzle
2004-01-21 12:20 pm UTC (link)
Okay, I was in the "this is a bit mad" for the short version, and unwilling to admit how much i liked it.
But this, THIS, is unbelievable.

You tapped into my insanity, and I'm not sure I can shut it up now.
Cheers.

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-21 05:18 pm UTC (link)
heheheheeee! insanity tapped, check! on to the pillaging!!!!

thank you!!

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[info]selene_314
2004-01-22 03:05 am UTC (link)
I loved the original. It had a fantasy quality like an ancient myth. I didn't notice anything sinister in it, though: I thought Viggo was searching for love (or seeking it with a certainty that it was out there).

the new version takes away the mystery and just makes him seem crazy. It isn't romantic that he built someone to love, and Orlando doesn't seem alive.

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-22 04:15 pm UTC (link)
i'm very sorry you feel that way, but thank you so much for commenting! i can keep it in mind for when i write something else.

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[info]beanzy
2004-01-22 07:44 am UTC (link)
I didn't read the original, only this.
And it's such a strong little story, it makes me wonder why I haven't read it in books of myths and fairytales. I feel like it should be part of the culture already.

GO YOU!

:)

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-22 04:16 pm UTC (link)
hehehehe!!

thank you!!!

*gets going on da booook*

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[info]treelines
2004-01-22 08:54 am UTC (link)
*reads comments*

Meep. I'm actually kind of glad I didn't read the other one. Because when I read this one, I was all, "Whoa! He fished out a dead Orlando body?" and I think if I got Necromancer!Viggo out of this, I'm scared to think of what I would have gotten out of the first one.

That said, please add in another "OMG! I WUV U!!1!" comment in place of this rambling. ^_^ Have I told you that I love your word choice? Meticulously beautiful. Am going to marry the chewed his needle thoughtfully line. Because I do that and it helped me get closer into Necromancer!Viggo's head. Thanks so much for sharing!

O_O This was really long.

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-22 04:21 pm UTC (link)
hahahaha!!! well, the first one was the last three paragraphs on their own, read those and you can see what people thought of it. lol.

but thank you!!!

Am going to marry the chewed his needle thoughtfully line.

I now pronounce you Line and Wife. You may kiss the Line.

(long comments make me squeeee!)

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[info]she0f_f3w_w0rdz
2004-01-24 11:14 am UTC (link)
wow

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-24 05:20 pm UTC (link)
*g*

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[info]smithereen
2004-01-30 09:22 am UTC (link)
I really like the fairy tale feel of this. The storytelling is so based in symbol and myth. It's off-kilter from the real world, but still satisfying in a real way. I do see how it can be read as dark or sinister. But when I read it, it didn't strike me that way at all. It felt oddly and completely hopeful, joyful even, to me. Anyway, beautiful writing, and different in a very cool way.

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Re:
[info]spillingvelvet
2004-01-30 01:00 pm UTC (link)
thank you so much! i had a really fun time writing it, because no one's ever done it before. (in this fandom, anyway)

the original story was the last three paragraphs of the extended version, so quite a few people (myself included once i was finished.) saw it as Viggo drowning Orlando...

so i wanted to elaborate. *g*

thank you for taking the time to read and reply!

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[info]gairid
2004-03-04 03:19 pm UTC (link)
I read the first version in one of the other communities as well and it stuck in my mind for the sheer strangeness of it and the unique writing style. I like the enhanced verion every bit as much!

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-03-04 04:03 pm UTC (link)
thank you so much!!

it was one of my favorite stories to write.

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[info]losselen
2004-03-25 06:11 pm UTC (link)
spied his heart in the water

That's beautiful. The sea is something I don't understand, something too wild to capture. But you love it. Umm...

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[info]spillingvelvet
2004-03-25 08:28 pm UTC (link)
i practically grew up in the atlantic ocean. (was that a good ummm?)

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