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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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New journal
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Saturday, April 16th, 2005
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| Time: | 4:58 pm. |
| Mood: |  enraged. | | Music: | something corporate. |
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how about I HIDE THE FUCKING STRAIGHTER CAUSE' I HAVE A BIG FAT ASS THAT CONSUMES A WHOLE FUCKING DRAWER OF MARIO TRICOCI MAKE-UP THAT DOESNT LIKE TO SHARE. I love how shes 22 years old and she gets even with me by locking all her belongings in her room so she can only steal mine SHE HAS HER OWN GODDAMN HOME OVERLOOKING GAY PRIDE STREET that bitch, i hate her and sometimes i even hate her dog cause' its hers.
she knows exactly what was gonna happen if she hid that flat iron
: i dislike sneaky people very much.
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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:19 pm. |
| Music: | reggie yeah! i love reggie music. lameo. |
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So spring break is FINALLY over. no f that it was awesome while it lasted. i dont completly remember everything that happend but i hungout with a lot of great people and had alot of fun so it was well lived. As for school i could care less, yeah im pretty bummed out about going back but i didnt get to see everyone i wanted to this past week plus i miss being in world history YEAH!!!
mr. whateverhisnameis can kiss my ass
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| Time: | 12:21 am. |
| Mood: | ill kill you. | | Music: | modest mouse. |
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Here's something for people who love bad news.
"It's just highschool"
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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
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Monday, February 28th, 2005
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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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Thursday, February 24th, 2005
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Im in earth science right now with allie..she's cooler than you.
lovelovelove
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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:18 pm. |
| Music: | jimmy eat world. |
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I'm bored so i think you should amuse me with some comments:
Say what you want to say about asking or just what you think of me go for it..but it's not fun unless you post anonylously.
Friday. Half day. Smoking day. Party day. daaaaaaaaaaaamm
love love
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Monday, February 14th, 2005
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| Time: | 2:17 pm. |
| Music: | at the drive in. |
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I didnt wanna go to school today. Of course when i decide not to go to school our illegal cable gets shut off.The prick who turned it off cut some wires so now theres no way of fixing it like last time BUT were finally getting comcast so that makes everything better.
i love seeing my mother hand me cigarettes
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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| Subject: | theres barely any feeling left anymore |
| Time: | 3:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  numb. | | Music: | armor for sleep. |
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Ive never sneezed so much in my life. My nose feels like its the size of a pin head, somehow i still managed to smell a gas leak coming through our air vents. I got kinda scared so i waited outside & stood a safe distance from my house and had a smoke. My mom also was forced to come outside with me too..it made me feel better. I always think up bad thoughts about those situations. Nick picked danielle & me up yesterday,went to their band practice(loved the singing) then went to my house and called up our beloved sylvia, hung out with dan & jon..eventually went to dans house along with nick and sean..gauged some ears, and fell asleep during a vampire movie.
Sudefed & coffe makes your whole body numb
yess
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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
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| Subject: | zombies rock |
| Time: | 7:53 pm. |
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Ima a happy girl.
I watched an inredibly awesome movie with gabe
I failed spanish therefor i dont have to take it anymore YES!
Im listening to cursive
and i just ate a whole plate of chicken..along with a cigarette.
I dont get to go out anymore on school days cuz im stupid. but weekends will be twice as good since ill be antsy about getting out of this house.
At least ill be getting better grades ? Pff. whatever
show on friday.. havent seen sammy in a long time, dont really think i want to now that i think of it.
night night
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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
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| Subject: | poppin pills |
| Time: | 10:53 pm. |
| Mood: | not sick. |
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OMFGZ!
I HAD A CIGARETTE TODAY. & it felt gooooood
i love life.
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| Subject: | WTF i need to fucking go to sleep |
| Time: | 3:04 am. |
| Mood: | frustrated. |
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Dammit why cant you be mine? then i wouldnt be thinking about it all the time
& id be sleeping
boys.
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Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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| Subject: | it felt like a real life fantacy feels like you |
| Time: | 5:05 pm. |
| Mood: |  awake. | | Music: | copleland. |
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So break has finally come to the end and for once im not thatdisapointed. It started off really great actually i have no complaints about that but it didnt turn out the way i would have wanted it to. I didnt get to hang out with my friends the last week and/or celebrate new years at all..slept through it actually, and im pretty pissed off at the fact that im really sick & that its not gonna go away for a long time. I shouldnt smoke for a few more days actually not at all but thats not gonna happen & no kissing. This is the worst possible thing that could happen to me but on the bright side when i get better it'll be like black and white a total turnover of what i can and cant do. kinda waiting for that to come..but until then i get to go to school BIG +! For once im actually excited about going for 1 i have an excuse to get out of my house which has made me technically insane 2 i get to see my fam(frinds) 3 i have unbelieveable energy maybe because been sitting on my ass for the past week doing nothing? mmhm. Ive come to relize that telivision is complete trash and colring for long periods of time turns my brain to mush. When doingabsolutly nothing i tend to think a lot about things that dont really matter but i get a lot of meaning out of it. Yesterday i started thinking about old memories and experiances and i couldnt help but have a huge smile on my face. For some reason i put everything in the past and just chose not to think about it good & bad, most likely cuz the bad was so great i chose to just throw everything away. Im glad i remembered.
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Friday, December 31st, 2004
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i love you all! Even if you havent brought me soup and visited me thanks for your phone calls and such i have such a nice group of friends.
I hope i can go out tonite for new years..
that would be nice.
no booze or smokes for a few weeks
ill try.
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Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
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| Subject: | point your gun in another direction |
| Time: | 2:55 pm. |
| Mood: | sick. | | Music: | coheed. |
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I wish i had a nacho belgrande no tom. extra beans and a mnt. dew :(
scratch that..i wish i could actually eat something.
yesterday was an alright day. I felt like crap but i tried to make the best out of things and have fun.I decided to get out of my bed around 5 and answer my phone. I was really bummed out about not being able to smoke a thing not a cigaratte not anything but i got over it. We didnt get to see fockers but i guess we should have came a little bit earlier than 8 minutes befor the movie started.. Came home at 130 or so delt with the mother and drifted off to sleep without even getting into my pajamas
2 more days !
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Saturday, December 11th, 2004
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| Subject: | slurp click |
| Time: | 4:44 pm. |
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so theres been a lot of tongue action goin on god i wish i had a camera
but there will be other times. fingers crossed
yo danni is Xtra sexy we kissed and it was hot hot hot
and guess who else kissed?
muahaha
i love life.
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Sunday, November 21st, 2004
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| Subject: | sufficate me all you need |
| Time: | 3:09 pm. |
| Music: | armor for sleep. |
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Yesterday was super cool, danni came over and later met up with sylvia..i love those girls. seriously theyre the loves of my life. n e ways yeah went by sylvias and helped her get ready then went back to my house and chilled in my room. my mom was being so nosey it pissed me off. we drew all over my walls with crazy cool highlighters,looks great. danni took some sexy pictures mmm mm mm ..then nick came over and we were off. went and hung out in this kids van for awhile then went to dennys. i was being retarded. first night i hung out with madison and sean, theyre both really nice i like them. it was about 11 so sylvia and me decided to join sean and say our goodbyes. hung out for the rest of the night dropped off sylvia then i went home and passed out. what a night..
bought a pack yesterday now theres only 4 left.. i need to stop
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Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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| Subject: | shane i love that name |
| Time: | 5:01 pm. |
| Mood: |  loved. | | Music: | oh oh oh ohohh. |
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last night was pretty cool. I love meeting new people & drinking & having fun. So far this little out-of-school-break has been fantastic, but i really need to find something to do for the time being..im giving you a call :)
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Friday, October 15th, 2004
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| Time: | 5:21 pm. |
| Mood: | enraged. | | Music: | the used. |
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It seems these days i cant even do something without getting fucked. god im pissed. today was going real nice befor i heard this trash. To you, my friend, when i see you, you better run like hell. If i catch you, Im gonna fuck you up so bad you wont be able to suck your own cock you fuck. betray me and you get what you deserve motherfucker.On the side note, today went alright.hopefully my sister wont come home til 8 i hope. god dammit.
--
Up the nose and through the ears,
Can you hear those worms trickling through your ears ?
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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
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| Subject: | your days are numbered |
| Time: | 5:42 pm. |
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theres no such thing as having too much fun!
unless..
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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| Subject: | ridalin..its good for the blood |
| Time: | 6:04 pm. |
| Mood: | crazy. | | Music: | jupiter sunrise. |
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soooo today wedding 230 til like 1. my sister brought me home so we could take a break and eat some kfc. so far the weddings been goin pretty well. i cried. i got luaghed at. no big deal. i got to be the photographer for the day which was nice i guess but im not very good. my sister was the best, she got great shots up my dress. yesterday i went to the knights of colombus with the coo. his friends are all really cool. made some small talk and tried to calm myself down. i get really shy and timid around large groups of people i dont know too well but the people there were really nice. i met a few guys from out of state. i never thought id think a african american emo kid was hot but thats been done. seriously he was really hot. i had fun i guess. i saw my sister which was unbelieveable. we both freaked out. she was with paulin ania crazy erin terica and 4 other hoochy mamas. all looking very hawt. i thought they just came for the bar but i found out tericas boyfriend luke is the voc. for the killer. hes told me he was in a band befor but i guess the name slipped my mind ? they played a great show. crazy erin is the best. always manages to sneak a few drinks in me , i really needed to losen up.
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Monday, September 13th, 2004
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| Subject: | its what i do best |
| Time: | 10:34 pm. |
| Mood: | horny. | | Music: | orgy. |
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ohoh
i liked you better on your knees
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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this weekend was one of the best im glad i spent it with you guys <3
and you.
+sitting under falling stars
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Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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my minds been one big fucking cloud ive needed it so bad i got it im good now im not. call me crazy thats my name
im goin down
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Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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| Subject: | not meant to be love |
| Time: | 1:42 am. |
| Mood: | crappy. |
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tonight wasnt too good. napped all day, didnt take a shower til about 7. the most exciting thing that happend all day was ania coming over and being on the phone with a few people i enjoy talking to. 11 i was forced to go to a birthday party of my uncles and im glad i went. hes the coolest uncle of all time and 60 which makes him even cooler. four glasses of wine ... still not feelin it.
this is what i do 2 in the morning.
( ive seen more spine in jellyfish )
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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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| Subject: | i hate myself |
| Time: | 1:38 am. |
| Mood: | sad. | | Music: | the postal service. |
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i never get what i want
--only what other people wish they'de have.
im sick of this.
i want it soo bad.
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Saturday, August 28th, 2004
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| Subject: | uh oh. |
| Time: | 3:27 pm. |
| Mood: |  creative. | | Music: | god forbid. |
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what a sweet talker..
so good.
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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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school fucking sucks. im so stressed and tired and srp'9u0[w9b jgfuck i want a cigarette dammit
i keep getting myself lost..and i never know whether im upstairs or not.
what a freshman.
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Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
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| Subject: | ots not the side effect of cocaine im thinking it must be love |
| Time: | 7:47 pm. |
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I ate 3 meatballs,1 bowl of soup,a disgusting salad, and 2 java chip frappacinos today. I weigh 125 and its all boob-age.this morning,6 AM, i went to get my physical so i could get my schedule. Im diseased so i had to go to the hospital and get more blood work done because they were unsure. I found all the blood very interesting, especially while it went through the little tubes.yeah im a sicko and my ma almost passed out. i could of filled up 10 urine cups but they only needed 1. poo. after i got my results i was very sad so my mom took me to chicago. thats when i drank 2 coffees and almost got hit by a tiny english cooper. that would have been embarrassing. i dont see how anyone could fit into those. so made plans with my ma next week. gonna blow off 500 or so. should be grand. im reluctant to take my sister.. she'll spend all my mothers money and leave me with nothing. i want it all to myself thank you. im a spoiled brat yes. so after that we went to panera. saw some hot boyz. almost puked myself. blue cheese is fucking trash dont eat it.
I tried to go tanning tonite.i look like an italian gone polish. too bad they were closed.
nothing comes as easy as you.
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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
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Tell me something you've always wanted to say to me, but never could.
Post is anonymously.
anything.
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Saturday, August 7th, 2004
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| Subject: | Respect is a give and take in my eyes. |
| Time: | 12:29 pm. |
| Music: | throwdown. |
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yesterday i went out with tiffany and heather in the morning, got some panera and chilled at links park figuring out plans for the night. we called up about 10 people and decided we would all meet up somewhere to see what we felt like doing. 12 people showed up, picked up some more, and went by mikes house and hung out in his driveway for an hour or 2 just listening to music and fooling around. me and matt picked up party scott.. looked almost exactly like matt! weirdos. i guess they met at church or something, hardly believe that. went back to mikes house and packed everyone in 3 cars and drove off to cuba road. took us about an hour to get there cuz greg is an idiot, and this kid scott knew exactly where it was but never spoke up about it. so when we finally figured out we were lost he told us exactly where to go, and it was in the total opposite direction haha everyone was getting so mad at eachother. so when we finally started getting there i was getting the creeps because all these roads were so dark and all the houses were creepy looking, and matt and party scott kept scaring the shit out of me. so finally, we stop the car and everyones getting out and then heather comes in the car im in and is like yo its 1040 u have to be home by 1130 theres no way were gonna be able to stay here or whatever. so i had to leave, tiffany was getting aggitated because everyone was driving like assholes and she almost got into 4 accidents, and were all really hungry and tired. so we get dropped off by mikes house to get her car and we decided to make a night of cuba road and go with a bunch of girls and stuff since we finally know where the hell it is.
ill be getting my cell phone tomorrow so u better fucking call me u sluts if u know my number cuz i most likely lost urs .. along with my phone.
847 951 0483</br>
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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
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| Time: | 9:04 pm. |
| Mood: | aggravated. | | Music: | stairwell. |
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Today i saw my sister for the first time in a few months, i missed her so much. Im frustrated with my mother right now because of all of this, its so fucking ridicilous. She's keeping me away from my sister because ' if she cant see her grandchildren, then i cant see my older sister' fuck her. i snuck out this morning to spend the day with kristina.. it was nice.. we caught up on a lot of shit, found some pretty interesting stuff. haha what a whore. i love her. got our nails done& rented some movies which i DIDNT get to see. disapointed about that. I really want to rent a scary movie right now. maybe the excorsist cuz ive never seen those befor. I saw the previews for it and it looked pretty good. went to the cell phone place today and ordered a new phone which will be here by next wednesday i hope..2 weeks i havent had my fucking cell phone. ive never suffered so much in my life.
People need to come back from vacation i miss you all !
<3
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| Subject: | just beautiful. |
| Time: | 1:35 pm. |
| Mood: |  blank. | | Music: | amber pacific. |
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yesterday could of been better.
i didnt get to see some of the bands i really hoped for but i saw most of them so im happy about that. I got alot of free stuff along with some signitures and a hug from matt..what a beauty. Im not sure why he signed my shirt but hey im not complaining. I also met ben again and talked to him a bit. He's the only one i like out of yellowcard now that alex in gone..i cant stand the band anymore especically ryan, i can go on and on about that fucking kid. anyways the bands played really well but i was disapointed at the fact that i only saw little bits of bands i really wanted to see, and the whole show fer bands i probably would have missed to see others. I wasnt too happy about getting shoved out of motion city but if i hadent i wouldnt have gotten to see haste the day.i would of been really upset.
had a very interesting night
-- everyone played awesome !
and im happy i spent 60 bucks
(of my mothers)
good times last forever
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Saturday, July 10th, 2004
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| Subject: | doesnt it feel good being bad |
| Time: | 12:20 am. |
| Music: | cursive mo fucka. |
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Gosh my life has been so damn interesting lately. i havent updated for a loong time but i know u still love me so who cares right. ive been neglecting all my cool friends lately. im sorry that i suck. i shall make it up to you. YYYAAAYYY!!! summer school has been over so ive had a life now. i have tennis instead of school but fuck you cant compare tennis to school. it rocks! yeahh so im bad with boys. my sister said i should turn lesbian. andrea as a lesbian? PSHH. now how did she get a craaazy idea like that.
dodo dodo dodo do do
the worst is overr
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Saturday, June 26th, 2004
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| Time: | 4:30 pm. |
| Mood: | happy. | | Music: | the postal service. |
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i want nothing more
than
you and me
tonight.
in eachothers arms it feels like
we are
.
six feet under the stars
oh oh
there could be nothing better.
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| Subject: | There's nothing else i'd much rather have, than you. |
| Time: | 10:59 pm. |
| Music: | throwdown. |
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i have to admitt i am sorta getting bored of this thing.It's nice to have time to time but i havent had time to update or anything. I'm just too cool. Summers been awesome so far except for the school cuz it kinda pisses me off having to wake up at 5 in the morning, 2 hours after my bed time. yeah thats rite. starbucks mocha helps a bunch. ive been hanging out with travis too much.need to get away from that kid. I'm gonna call up some ppl tomorrow. i miss you guys.
_ -
The -
_ -Best-
of _
_Kept
_
- Secrets -
_ really are the best.
<3
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| Time: | 3:59 pm. |
| Mood: | crushed. |
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yea.its been long.a lot of things have gone on over the,what,3 weeks i havent updated? i've been grounded alot lately and i dont think ill be on the internet for awhile unless im by someones house but whatev..what can i do, the sisters a bitch.ill be able to go out on monday which is nice, ive been in my basement hibernating for the past 2 weeks so this will be a change. i need to stop fucking things up with my sister. i dont think i can handle all this bullshit anymore with the mother, and my sister and whatever else thats been goin on.
Besides, i could really use my cellphone rite now.
630/980-8737-house# since its the only phone i have..as of now.
so young, so soon.
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| Subject: | safe and sober |
| Time: | 6:26 pm. |
| Mood: | weird. |
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last night allie came over n a few minutes later more people came and yeah it was pretty cool. sisters kinda mad at me i guess since she wont talk to me er ne thing but whatev. we had a fun time! o man allie is fucking sexy as hell hahaha that was so crazzzy. morning we got ready and her ma was being a cunt so she had to go home and jeff n abs came over jef got his shit and abs stayed. yeah fun talks. were definitly hangin out ova the summer biznitch. f'sho f'sho.
I need to clean up this house, finding suprises everywhere.
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| Time: | 4:20 pm. |
| Mood: | crazy. | | Music: | substance. |
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yeah im tough shit cuz im eating actual food not popsicles
even if this does mean my tongue will swell up like a balloon
so be it
yeh so tonite i have no plans ZERO so call me up hookas and we can chiiiill
<3muah xoxo luv yaz
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| Subject: | time to partay bitches |
| Time: | 6:01 pm. |
| Music: | i hope you choke and die. |
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Mothers leaving Wednesday. Time to tear up this fucking house.
Todays the start to a whole new week..this is gonna rock<3
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| Subject: | i stood and took the arrows that cut through my heart |
| Time: | 5:09 pm. |
| Mood: | disappointed. | | Music: | the closest thing to closure. |
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yah so this week has been lotz of fun. tomorrows my biryhday!yayy :DD im so excited. im gettin out of skool on friday to spend some time with my dear sister and on saturday Ginas gonna take me out and were gonna do some stuff. cant wait fer that. Im hangin with mike tonite. im not sure if i want to tho cuz ive got some things i need to think about and get out of my head. im so confused rite now and its hurtin so bad. idk i wanna call up kathy and just try and forget about things but its hard.. and im weak.
help me stop this endless cycle,
remind me of how it cant be.
im drowning
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Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
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| Subject: | we're all shocked to find knives in our backs. |
| Time: | 5:58 pm. |
| Mood: | crushed. |
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today sucked.I had a bad day i guess. hopefully my mood will change in the next couple of days.
You disgust me.
It only hurts at first...but then you'll find someone.
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Saturday, April 24th, 2004
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| Subject: | you would kill for this just a little bit |
| Time: | 11:09 pm. |
| Mood: | calm. | | Music: | sr. |
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last night rocked. chicago bathrooms are dirty. and i love ben <3
today was that shower and my feet hurt badly. thats what i get for wearing 6 inchers..i think thats what they are ? i dunno but they felt like it. i regret not taking pictures of myself cuz i looked hotter than ever.my mom plus the other sister was there. many tears which i walked away from because i dont want none of that. almost fell on my face thanks mike. then the elevator boy was being nice to me and holding all my food haha the food was sooo good. especially the photatos. had more of that by the taras house. tonight was fun. and im still hungry.
my boob hurts. thanks to you.
*goodnight my love*
<3
the world revolves around us
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| Subject: | i just wanna scream |
| Time: | 6:01 pm. |
| Mood: | bitchy. | | Music: | throwdown{you cant kill integrity. |
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yeah so today was not a good day for me. Ive been in a bad mood lately idk maybe its just cuz ive got a lot on my mind but i dont like it. im not happy at all and its making me mad cuz im being all stupid about things. whatever. it happends i guess :/ so today we had to start sitting with our study hall for lunch which totally fucking pissed me off since 1 i was already in a bad mood and 2 all of them are a bunch of cock whores. Becca and me decided to make a whats it called..shit, my mind is elsewhere..but its something that u have evry1 sign and if u get 200 signitures u send it to the board of education so yeah, we wont be sitting like that for long. we had to run a lot today which sucked. rite when i got home i jumped in the shower cuz im a freak like that. im not sure what im doin tonite but no one will be home til 9 so im out of here. later hookers.
<3
muah
people are such assholes.
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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| Subject: | i swear ill tear you apart |
| Time: | 10:08 pm. |
| Mood: | drained. | | Music: | avenged sevenfold. |
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today sucked.worked til 845 and didnt get to chill with ne one cuz yeah thats too late. today was my first day of training for answerng phones. i didnt have any luck with that. of course the first time i try it i get yelled at by a fucking cunt. wow she made me soo made. she started yelling at me and stuff on the phone just cuz i was goin too slow so i was just like fuck it and threw the phone at jimmy. what a bitch. obviously today work was tough and i hated it. i hate working and i wanna quit. i dont wanna be all envolved in a job rite now. whatev. im just gonna work weekdays from now on cuz the weekend isnt gonna work for me at all. after i called some people, ate dinner and just chilled. im so tired and i smell like pizza and i just wanna fucking stay home tomorrow. im being so emo rite now. i dont like getting into this mood. if i dont get to hang out with people for a day or 2 i feel all lonely and stuff. i love my friends to death, and would do anything fer em. wow. im stopping, sorry for all the messy feelings.
later hooks
muah
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somethinxcrazy_'s journal
nerdy.