It's Dark....

some_thing_ @ 2008-08-18T21:12:00

2008-08-19T01:41:12Z

* Some comes looking for Jon.
* Jonathan spent the day with Norman, and then with Bram and
Norman. He's set on the task of working through this drug, but
he needed a break, and to wait for some tests to be completed.
Now, he's working again, going over the day's data, in his room.
* Some lets himself in, shutting the door quietly behind him, and
creeps over to sit on the floor near Jon's feet.
* Jonathan smiles over at Some. He's had a wonderful day, honestly.
* Some is pretty sure he's about to ruin it, and is quiet and
serious. "Was Norman good today?"
* Jonathan nods, shifting to lean his legs against Some. "He was.
They were both very good."
* Some puts his chin on Jon's knee. "That's good. M'glad. You had
fun?"
* Jonathan puts his hand on Some's head. "I did. It was so nice
out, today, and I've been working very hard."
* Some smiles a bit. "You're wonderful. I love you so much."
* Jonathan smiles back, openly pleased. "I love you -and- I think
I almost have it."
<Some> "Oh, great!" Some has to get up to see the notes and stuff,
now.
* Jonathan shows him the latest developments, proudly.
* Some smiles, though he doesn't understand most of them. "Oh, this
is great..."
* Jonathan puts his arm around Some. "So, I think, if this
indicates what I believe it does, I can try to neutralize what's
left of the drug out of their systems tomorrow or Tuesday, I
think."
<Some> "That's really good. Maybe Kurt will be willing to eat
again."
* Jonathan stacks all the notes together, again, neatly. "And
then, then, like I said, earlier, we can look for side effects."
* Some will sit in his lap, then, and lean on him. "Are you done
tonight, then?"
<Jonathan> "I can be, if you want me to be."
<Some> "Yeah... I need to... to ask you something."
* Jonathan hugs him, after setting the notes neatly aside. "What
is it?"
* Some is so guilty, unable to meet his eyes. "I- I'm an idiot, you
know?"
<Jonathan> "That isn't really a question.... w-well, you made it a
question. What's wrong?"
<Some> "I thought I'd be able to just... I didn't... I'minlovewithhim."
<Jonathan> "... wait, who, what?"
* Some meets his eyes. "Kurt."
<Jonathan> "He is very young..."
* Some nods. "But he's been through too much to be a child."
<Jonathan> "I don't understand what you're saying, really..."
<Some> "... No?"
<Jonathan> "I don't. What do you mean?"
<Some> "I thought he was just my friend. That that was all I
wanted. But... Jon, I fell in love with him and I'm a perfect
/idiot/ and I'm so sorry."
<Jonathan> "You told me that he was your best friend."
* Some nods, dropping his gaze.
<Jonathan> "S-so now you love him, and he's your best friend."
* Jonathan picks at Some's sleeve.
<Some> Hearing Jon stammer makes him want to cry. "I- I- I didn't-
   Jon, I'm sorry."
<Jonathan> "I-i-it's okay..."
<Some> "I don't want to be friends with him. I see him with Savvy
and I get so -jealous- and it's wrong, and I have more than any
man deserves already..."
<Jonathan> "It feels terrible, to be jealous, because it turns
people you care about against you, in your mind."
* Some nods.
<Jonathan> "When the people you care about don't feel the same
way... Sometimes that's how it is, and sometimes that's fine."
<Some> "I don't know if he would. Sometimes I think... but he
likes Savvy, and not boys. We had a huge fight when he found out
I slept with men. Bigger than when he found out I ate them."
<Jonathan> "I really can't... I want to be able to give you advice,
Some. I c-can't, I can't."
<Some> "You're not angry?"
<Jonathan> "I might become angry, if that's your only concern."
<Some> "It's not, but it was... a big one. I'm sorry, Jon."
<Jonathan> "Well. You have to make certain he's going to be safe,
I'd imagine."
* Some shrinks a bit. "I haven't told him anything."
<Jonathan> "I wouldn't."
<Some> "I wasn't worried about you hurting him. But I had to tell
you first. It wouldn't be fair, I couldn't hide this from you."
<Jonathan> "So I wouldn't be angry."
<Some> "If I'd hid it, you'd be right to be angry."
<Jonathan> "I'm not angry."
<Some> "I love you. I love you as much as ever."
<Jonathan> "I don't have to be your favorite."
<Some> "I don't want to have a favorite."
<Jonathan> "Well, he's your best friend, and you love him."
<Some> "They don't stack. He doesn't get more of me because he was
my best friend before I fell in love like an idiot."
<Jonathan> "I know what it's like to feel as if you're my best
friend, and I love you."
* Some curls a hand around the back of Jon's neck, forehead to
forehead. "I love you. So much. And I know /you/ love me."
* Jonathan sighs, and shuts his eyes. "I love you very much. When
Iearn that I'm not your favorite, or your best friend, and know
how much you love me... we'll all do better. It will be fine."
<Jonathan> *when I learn, even
* Some sighs. "You are second to no one, Jon."
<Jonathan> "I-I think... I think it's difficult for me to
understand, because I know what I want, what I think I want,
a-a-and think 'if I had this, I would feel better', and I'm not
even certain what's wrong could be fixed by having exactly what I
want from you. I want very badly to be second to no one.
<Jonathan> "
<Some> "I've never ranked the people I love. It's like loving
violins and ginger and the color red."
<Jonathan> "I want to feel -better-, Some. That's why I want them
to do what we talked about, so, some day, I might actually be
better. It all hurts me. Just help me, and I want you to be
able to love whoever you... love."
<Some> "I will do anything to help you, Jon. You really want them
to do it?"
<Jonathan> "I'm very frightened. It's going to be very difficult."
<Jonathan> "And it's not going to fix this, just keep me from
hurting you while I try to... to fix this. I don't know."
<Jonathan> where were we?
<Hats> "I've never ranked the people I love. It's like loving
violins and ginger and the color red."
<Hats> <Jonathan> "I want to feel -better-, Some. That's why I
want them to do what we talked about, so, some day, I might
actually be better. It all hurts me. Just help me, and I want
you to be able to love whoever you... love."
<Hats> <Some> "I will do anything to help you, Jon. You really
want them to do it?"
<Hats> <Jonathan> "I'm very frightened. It's going to be very
difficult."
<Hats> <Jonathan> "And it's not going to fix this, just keep me
from hurting you while I try to... to fix this. I don't know."
* Some leans against him. "We haven't talked about what exactly
you're going to do. You said when they were rescued we would."
<Jonathan> "They're going to implant a... a restriction, in my
mind, so that when I move toward the thought patterns or actions
we're trying to correct... I'll be corrected..."
* Some frowns, then tries to make an expression a little less...
horrified. "... Corrected how?"
<Jonathan> "Pain will eventually cause me to break out of those
patterns."
<Some> "No. This is a stupid idea."
* Jonathan sighs, quietly.
<Some> "You- you're not an animal, to be trained with an electric
collar, this is cruel!"
<Jonathan> "Some, my first impulse on you telling me what you did
was to take the boys and run."
<Jonathan> "My second was to kill Kurt."
<Some> And you're not doing any of those things, without some
stupid brainwashing thing.
<Jonathan> "I don't always make the right decision."
<Some> "But- Whose idea was this?"
<Jonathan> "The older Kurt and Rassilon."
<Some> "My first impulse is to punch their noses in." >:( "I
thought better of both of them."
* Jonathan shuts his eyes again, and huddles against the chair.
* Some is doing a good job not going with his first impulse. "...
You want to go through with this?"
<Jonathan> "I want my family to be safe."
<Jonathan> "I can't really have... what I want, and I need to
learn.... need to learn and have to be punished to learn..."
<Some> "You've never even... Jon, /punishment/ shouldn't be a part
of learning at all!"
<Some> "You've been an amazing father, and I've never feared for
the boys' safety around you. You're doing so well!"
<Jonathan> "They told me if I didn't agree to it, now, that others
in the Nexus would do it without allowing me any of my work at
all."
<Some> "Did they say who?"
<Jonathan> "No."
* Some scowls. "This is wrong."
<Jonathan> "Is any of it right? If anything could be right,
wouldn't I have what I need?"
* Some hugs him. Very hard.
<Jonathan> "Some, I can't stand it, I can't.   The world is
-terrible-, terrible, people are terrible..."
<Some> "I'm sorry."
<Jonathan> "-I- want to be happy! I didn't do... didn't do
anything -to anyone-, and -she did this-. She did!'
* Some blinks, and takes his best guess. "... Your grandmother?"
<Jonathan> "Yet I must be punished."
* Some sighs, and kisses his shoulder. "Jon, I know. If I could go
back in time, and take you away from her, I would. Anyone would.
If one good person had seen what she was doing to you, it would
have stopped right then."
<Jonathan> "I must be punished in order to become good."
<Some> "That's not how it works... That's what -she- taught you,
and she was an evil old hag."
<Jonathan> "Yet she was right..." His voice is getting quieter,
and no chance of him opening his eyes, now.
<Some> "No."
* Jonathan doesn't say anything.
<Some> "She was -wrong.- I'm not teaching Bram to speak by
slapping his hand when he signs, am I?"
* Jonathan makes a sharp, wounded sound.
* Some holds him, rubbing his shoulder. "Jon..."
* Jonathan almost shrieks. He hasn't been like this in a while,
but... sometimes he still gets like this.
* Some doesn't let go, hooking his chin over Jon's shoulder,
holding him close.
* Jonathan squeezes him, wordlessly.
<Some> "I -should- go back in time and eat her face."
<Jonathan> "No, no, no, don't go."
* Some can move him to the bed? "I'm not going to."
* Jonathan is moved. He's rather passive, right now. "We could
keep them all away."
<Some> "No one comes here without our say-so. No one we don't
trust."
<Jonathan> "I want them to stay away."
<Jonathan> "Why can't you and I stay away?"
<Some> "I- Us?"
<Jonathan> "You and me, and the boys."
<Some> "This -is- away, isn't it?"
<Jonathan> "Never anyone else."
<Jonathan> "But people are like books to you, and you would never
be happy, alone, and then I would be sad..."
<Some> "... I'm sorry, Jon."
<Jonathan> "Perhaps I should go away."
<Some> "I don't want you too."
<Jonathan> "There are others, though, Some. I'm only one person,
not much to anyone, nothing that can't be replaced. I could go
away, and read, and it would be quiet."
<Some> "... I could never replace you, Jon."
<Jonathan> "So many people care about you."
<Some> "What does that mean? I love you."
<Jonathan> "You love many people."
<Some> "That doesn't /matter/. I couldn't love you any more if I
loved only you, or any less if I loved a million people."
<Jonathan> "I believe you, but I feel sick to my stomach."
* Jonathan mumbles this.
* Some kisses his forehead. "Oh Jon... I'm so sorry.
Jonathan    "I don't really know, Some."
Jonathan    "Will you help me find out what to do?"
<Some> "I'll help. I'll talk to them."
<Jonathan> "You should talk to them."
<Some> "Because I'm not okay with punishment being hardwired into
your head.
<Jonathan> "I feel sick."
<Some> "Do you want to sleep?"
<Jonathan> "No, I don't want to sleep."
<Some> "Do you want anything to drink? Eat?"
<Jonathan> "N-no, I'm sorry."
* Some kisses him. "It's okay."
* Jonathan inches closer.
* Some hugs him again. "Love you."
<Jonathan> "Thank you so much, Some."
<Some> "Even though I'm an idiot?"
<Jonathan> "You're very bright."
<Some> "I'm a moron who can't keep his heart in his pants."
<Jonathan> "Your heart isn't supposed to be in your pants..."
* Some half-laughs. "I was mixing metaphors..."
<Jonathan> "If you think they're one and the same, maybe th-that's
the problem."
<Some> "No, it was supposed to be a joke... sorry. I know the
difference.
<Jonathan> "Okay.... it was a funny joke..."
<Some> "Six months ago, you'd have been very angry at me, I think."
<Jonathan> "Probably I would have been."
<Some> "Kurt is a good man. Very young, but a good man. He calls
you friend."
<Jonathan> "Well, Some... he's very, very young. Do you understand
that humans at that age are -not- the same as an adult."
<Jonathan> ?
<Some> "Yes, I know. And he does not think things through like a
child, for all he tries to act young."
<Jonathan> "Physiologically and mentally, he is not an adult."
* Some sighs. "I'm not into children."
<Jonathan> "I don't want to argue with you, Some. I really
wouldn't be able to, right now."
<Some> "I'm sorry."
<Jonathan> "I wish I could be inside your mind, again."
<Some> "What for?"
<Jonathan> "Then there's nothing in the way, between us."
<Some> "I wish that too."
<Jonathan> "But then that isn't always true, either. I don't know. I feel like everything I've said to you, I've said to Isobel."
<Some> "I'm still not her."
<Jonathan> "No, but I loved her."
<Jonathan> "Is that all I did? Did I just replace her?"
<Some> "Am I anything like her?"
<Jonathan> "In some ways."
* Some frowns. "I'm not a stand-in, Jon. You love me."
<Jonathan> "I remember, I was able to see into her mind, and show her -everything-. Everything, Some! And I wouldn't have -dreamed-, then, that what happened between us would happen."
Some nuzzles him, unable to think of something to say.
<Jonathan> "It happened because I have an illness, and I destroyed how close we were, by hurting her, when she trusted me, and when, really, she needed me to be strong."
<Some> "We've been together more than a year, and we have sons, and you are doing so well. You /are/ strong."

Something else.

2008-05-23T10:50:23Z

At 4:30 in the morning, the bridge is well-lit and beginning to come to life. Joggers, the die-hard and early-working, are spread out across its span, running the pedestrian walkway high above the car deck. Each of them alone, lost to their iPods or talking breathlessly into hands-free cell phones, they take no more than a passing glance at the skinny young man, dressed in black, standing beside the rail, leaning against a pylon and staring down at the water. Later, the only feature they'll be able to describe is the flat black visor he's wearing.

Something's here. No scent, above the running water and after so many days, but something's here, down in the deep and the dark. The sensation is faint, but unmistakable.

They notice when he jumps. The nearest of the joggers, a man in expensive shoes and a shirt with the sleeves torn out, lunges to grab him, to pull him back, but the young man's gone, over the edge and without a sound. A woman drops her cellphone and screams, falling silent just in time to hear the splash. Before the rings and foam of impact have faded from the choppy waves, she's on her cell phone, hysterically telling the dispatcher at 911 what she's seen.

Hitting the water's like hitting sand, the impact bruising and stinging. Bubbles explode in all directions, erasing up and down, and the visor is ripped from his face, only kept from being lost by the tether around his neck. He spreads his limbs out to keep from spinning, and waits for equilibrium to return before stroking down, down away from the pale grey light of the surface. He swims down until his lungs burn, the salt stinging his eyes, and keeps going, the pressure popping his ears and the murk of the bottom blinding him. Something's here. He knows it. He finds the pylon again, a forested column of seaweed with a hard, barnacled core, cutting his hands on the shells, and follows it down, dragging himself deeper still when he can no longer swim down. His body's demanding air now, muscles cramping painfully, ribs jerking with attempts to breath, and he'll have to surface, have to- Here's the bottom, rocky and rough. Something's here, so close it pings against his skin, a warm itch that supersedes the burn of the stagnant salt water, and he fumbles blindiy from rock to rock. Until his fingers find plastic.

A fire truck and an aide unit arrive at the same time, blocking traffic in one lane of the car deck below the pedestrian walk. The woman with the cell phone repeats herself hysterically again and again, telling them how the boy leapt, how young he looked and how if the man in the expensive shoes had been just a moment faster, he'd have caught him, grabbed his ankles or his ragged coat and kept him from falling. The man sits on one of the benches, well away from the rail, and cries. The only thing the paramedics can wrest out of him is that the boy looked the same age as his son.

A police boat arrives soon, with divers, and they search for hours, but no body is ever found.

Because Some's already gone.

some_thing_ @ 2008-05-19T14:56:00

2008-05-19T22:21:17Z

Some searches. Every room in the Nexus that might hold a Jon is first, and then he expands, flickering from reality to reality like a ghost, trying to focus on the sensation of wrong that pervades him.

The first thing he learns is that he's looking for somewhere cold, somewhere warm.

That narrows it down.

Somewhere small, locked, closed in.

A little more.

Somewhere human.

More.

Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, he checks every somewhere he can find.

Somewhere they speak English. Somewhere sunny.

And it takes all day for him to find himself somewhere in Miami, Florida, the USA. An Earth without a number, without mutants in their headlines or magic in their streets. He finds himself in a bright street and flickers home, returning wearing his ridiculous wide-brimmed hat and the visor Eiko made him. There's no Jon to be seen here, no, of course not, but the feeling of something wrong is so strong that Some's head is splitting, feeling like it's about to come off. Or like it already has.

He's in an industrial park, a place he'd love to hunt at night. But in the day, it's too bright, too exposed, and his fear only adds to the acrid taste in his mouth, drives his heartbeat still higher. He feels like he's been gassed, and the world is somehow spiraling in on him to burn and crush him.

And there's a door in front of him, featureless except for a number, like all the rest. S-13 and the S is painted on crooked, and the door is metal and heavy, a rubber seal around the edges like a... like a freezer. Some puts his hand on the metal, and it's cold, even under the Miami sun. There's a gleaming chrome handle, polished despite the dusty yard, and when he puts his hand on it, it's locked.

Locked doors are never his problem.

Some shuts his eyes, and suddenly his somewhere is somewhere beyond that door.

If he were anyone else, the darkness inside would be merciful. But Some sees through darkness clearer than daylight, and the table is just so precisely in the center, and on it... Jon is staring at him.

Some takes two stumbling steps forward and falls to his knees before the silent, pristine tableau of steel table and severed head, like a pilgrim at his altar. The room is cold, his breath rising in thin fog, hanging in the still air. No breath rises from Jon's lips. Some makes no sound at all until he sees the ice formed in Jon's eyes.

Sometimes broken is broken.

2008-04-20T14:39:20Z

Harkness ducks into the ~~doghouse~~ room he was staying in earlier that week, searching for the stuff he'd left behind.
* Some slips in before the door shuts.
* Harkness is Mr. Oblivious in a frantic search for his vortex manipulator amongst the sheets.
<Some> "Jack."
<Harkness> "No." He pretends he's not startled and fights down a very irrational surge of fear, absolute dread, at hearing Some's voice.
* Some is very quiet. "... I'm sorry, Jack."
<Harkness> "I'm ... tired of people apologizing," he admits, just a quietly, and settles onto the bed with the retrieve wristband.
* Some stays by the door, picking at his sleeve. You know how couples take on one another's habits? That's Jon's. "This was all my fault."
<Harkness> "What happened between us wasn't anyone's fault. It couldn't be helped. Things like that happen every day." No one complained that loudly about all the sex pollen at Christmas, did they? "What happened because of it? Was totally disproportionate to the act itself."
<Some> "I told Jon."
<Harkness> "Well, Jon's fucking psychotic, okay?" This isn't even an insult according to Jack. It's just a /fact/. A well-known fact. "I told Ianto and he didn't find and torture you non-stop for a whole day, did he? I don't think so. And we're /married/. I made a goddamn commitment to him and he didn't ... " You know, flip out and spend a whole day driving Some out of his mind.
* Some flinches. "I know he's crazy, and I know exactly... I've been there too, Jack, and I would have warned you."
* Harkness lets out a quiet, bitter little laugh, though it's almost more of a sigh. "I wouldn't have listened. I wanted it. I wanted him to hurt me. I deserved it. Every single minute of it."
Some has way too much understanding in his face. "He said he just wanted to make things even."
<Harkness> "Is that even?" he wonders. "I didn't know fucking you hurt that much."
* Some shakes his head, looking down. "He's crazy, Jack. I knew that going in. He doesn't see how this affected anyone but himself."
* Harkness looks down, focusing his attention on adjusting the vortex manipulator on his left wrist. "I don't get you. At all. I think I do sometimes, but I don't."
* Some leans against the wall, hands behind his back. "I'm alone here, Jack. Jon needs me, badly. I need that."
<Harkness> "You need to be needed?" he asks, a curious little inclination of his tone suggesting he understands /too well/. "So many people can need you, Some. So many people can want you. /Love you/." Why him? is the unspoken question. The one Jack won't let himself ask.
* Some studies his feet, his voice trembling. "Nyoka loves me, and needs me, but when I die, she'll be fine. She'll go out and kill something and eat it, she'll sacrifice something to Hermes in my name, and she'll be fine. She loves me, but she doesn't need me. Jon lets his life revolve around me. It feels like... being myself again."
* Harkness gets to his feet and grabs his coat. "As long as you have what you need, then," he concludes, heading for the door.
* Some looks up, still right by the door, naked regret in his face. "I'm sorry for everything I caused for you, and for the pain I caused your husband."
* Harkness sighs. "I'm not sorry. I keep apologizing and I'm not sorry, not the way I should be. I had fun, while it lasted, and I don't believe in regretting things, even mistakes. The only pain Ianto suffered was my fault. You're ... free and clear, actually."
Some knows what he means. He just doesn't agree. "I never lied that night. And if we were both free men, it would have been one of the most amazing nights of my life."
* Harkness grins, just a little. "I didn't lie, either. And I'm married, not enslaved. I think I'm free enough to admit that it's a memory I'll always cherish."
<Some> "I don't want this to end our friendship?"
* Harkness shakes his head. "The last thing I want is to lose your friendship, but I think I got the message loud and clear from your boyfriend. Stay the fuck away, if I didn't mishear."
* Some winces again, and drops his gaze.
* Harkness gives a tiny, apologetic smile and pointedly doesn't reach out and touch Some like he wants. Oh, no, he definitely got the message. "In fact, I'd better go."
<Some> "Please?"
<Harkness> "I can't go through that again, Some. Not that much, not for that long, not for such a stupid reason." Because, yeah, jealousy over sex /is/ a stupid reason in Jack's book and he's fucking tired of the twenty-first century thinking otherwise.
* Some wants, so badly, to promise that it'll never happen again. "There's a vaccine..."
<Harkness> "There's a vaccine that won't keep him from doing it to me again. There's a vaccine that'll make sure I won't go crazy, but that doesn't stop /him/, Some. Nothing stops him. No one stops him. Everyone looks the other way. How is that fair? How is that /right/? How can you even ask me to put up with something, someone, like that?"
<Some> "-I- stop him. Nine times out of ten, I talk him down, turn him away from the Nexus, distract him."
Harkness shakes his head again. "According to Njoki, he experiments on people. Non-humans, so no one gives a shit. Do you stop that? Is nine times out of ten good enough for that one person? Does it even matter if that one person is your friend?"
<Some> "I eat people, Jack." Put this in perspective.
<Harkness> That gets a laugh from him and it's kind of bitter. "Great. Let's justify his psychosis, huh? His experiments, his torture, that's a mechanism for survival. He needs to do it to live, so we need to let him get on with it."
* Some can't even look at him anymore. "If I knew a way to stop him without destroying him, don't you think I would?"
<Harkness> "No," he answers immediately and without hesitation. "No, you wouldn't. You're getting what you need from him." And he's definitely going now, because he honestly /doesn't/ want to be caught within fifty feet of Some again.
* Some lashes a hand out to grab his sleeve as he passes. "-I didn't want any of this-," he hisses, suddenly vehement, but strangely not angry. This is what Jon accused him of, too. "I'm not in love with -Scarecrow.- I'm in love with -Jon-, who you've never even met."
* Harkness jerks his arm away. "There's no difference, Some. You can't be two different people, I've tried. It doesn't /work/. You're in love with a really sick person who needs more help than anyone's apparently willing to give. People are getting hurt and no one seems to care. As far as I'm concerned, everyone's responsible."
* Some lets his hand fall, and seems about to say something else, but words won't come. There's nothing he can say to defend Jon when Jack's right, and nothing he can say to agree without betraying the man he loves even further.
* Harkness stands, half towards the door, for a long moment before sucking in a ragged breath and turning back to Some. He strides forward, half a step, and lifts a hand to lightly cup Some's cheek. "And I'm afraid for /you/," he concludes fiercely, almost pleading for Some to understand.
Some turns his head instinctively, both into Jack's touch and away from his gaze. "This is the worst thing he's ever done to me."
<Harkness> "You shouldn't have a /list/." Because, as it sounds to Jack, there's been bad before, but this is the worst.
* Some shakes his head. "There's just this, and the night he gassed Nyo." Some's never counted the times he's been gassed himself. Every single time was with full consent. "But they worked that out themselves."
<Harkness> "I'm not working out anything." He's unapologetic about it, too, because he's pretty much the Doctor's man and that gives him an awfully strong moral compass (as morally ambiguous as Torchwood sometimes needs to be). "This is wrong. And I can't just turn a blind eye to it."
* Some nods. "No, I know. They were already beginning to be friends before it happened, he just walked in..." Slightly flaily handwave. "I didn't mean that they were the same."
* Harkness shakes his head and finally drops his hand. There's nothing else he can think to say, in all honesty.
* Some has big black shades, so nyah, Jack can't see that his eyes are wet, or how often he's blinking.
* Harkness ducks down close and presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, lingering close to murmur, "The only thing I'm sorry for anymore is this -- " And by 'this,' he means opening the door and walking out.
* Some stays where he is until the door's shut again, and then only moves to slide down the wall until his forehead's on his knees, and cry silently.

A letter sent to Njoki, for her to share as she will.

2008-04-07T23:53:12Z

Njoki-

I ran into the Stranger today in the Sanctuary, and managed to get him to take one of Clair's truth candies. His real name begins with H and may be familiar to you or Carter, and he comes from a place Carcosa, beyond Aldebran. Something about reflections of Yethill.

When I got him to say his name, he vanished, and reappeared a few minutes later, apparently exhausted. He voluntarily took another dose of truth serum, and we spoke more. He says that he means 'most beings' no harm, myself included, and seemed more amused than anything else.

He's not the H who was here before, or a related avatar.

I'm still not going to trust him around my children, but I think he's here more to amuse himself than to cause trouble.

~ Grue Some

some_thing_ @ 2008-02-15T00:05:00

2008-02-15T08:08:05Z

For St. Valentine's Day, a holiday that has a Grue echo (Precus Horo, May 12th in human dates), Some does something for his entire family. And what he does best is food.

Therefore, there is rum cake, soda, and home-made pizza.

some_thing_ @ 2008-02-08T14:01:00

2008-02-08T22:06:40Z

Though Some never sleeps, he does dream.

And those dreams aren't always pleasant.

He comes up from it gasping, frantically clawing for escape and breath.

A World for children.

2008-02-06T17:22:33Z

Snape made his way out into the wilder part of the grounds, to a circle of old stones where he had told Some to meet him.
Some still has applesauce behind one ear when he gets there, though he thought he'd gotten it all. Things in the too-rapidly-expanding Family Grue are a mite chaotic just now. "Headmaster."
"Good evening. Come, I don't intend to do this near the stones themselves." There's a little copse of pine trees, and that's good enough. "To forewarn you, the beings in this world are all psychic. Sight and sound are unknown to them."
Some falls in step beside him, listening. "I won't be able to communicate with them..."
Well, naturally. Everything had to be bloody complicated. "Then I shall translate for you as well as I can. At least they'll be able to see you through my eyes."
Some nods, but he has reservations already. "I- thank you, for going to all this trouble, Sir."
Well NATURALLY. See previous statement. "I...cannot imagine it will be comfortable for you to travel with me. If I were to go somewhere, would you be able to follow?"
"Probably. Somewheres are my specialty." His smile's an attempt to lighten things, more for himself than anything else.
Snape nods. "Follow, then. If I don't hear from you in five minutes, I'll return." And with a soft pop of displaced air, he disappears. The world he goes to is...grey. Grey is about the only word for it. Oh, and dim. The sky is a uniform steel-color, the landscape covered with long, charcoal-tinged grass.
Some only takes a few moments. He knows Snape well enough that he's easy to follow, and the dimness of the world is actually a help. He appears silently, a few feet away.
Never a particularly colorful person even on a good day, Snape is even more washed out in the thin light of this world. "Good. I am sure our hosts already know of our arrival." His voice sounds out of place, breaking the silence of the endless breeze on the grass.
"Have you-" Some stops, and lowers his voice. "Have you been in contact before?"
"I visited this world some time ago, to no particular purpose, but when you brought your problem to me, I have visited again." There is movement, a figure cresting a hill in front of them. "Ah. Here we are." The...being is shaggy, covered in fur of a similar shade and texture as the grass. It has no face to speak of, only vague indentations where the eyes and mouth would be. And in place of arms, short, skin-covered tentacles.
Glancing from Snape to the... local, Some takes a few steps forward. He needs Snape's help, his translation, but finding a home for the refugees is his mission. "Hello. My name is Grue Some."
The figure retreats, slightly. "He cannot hear you, Some. It is...he asks if you would be amenable meeting here, and not in their village. You seem to be babbling?" Two more figures appear at the crest of the hill, but do not approach.
"Here's fine..." Some doesn't come any farther towards the figure, unsure what he can do to present a better impression. "I'm sorry I can't speak with him directly."
"They find you confusing. I'm explaining what you are...it's difficult. They can "hear" you but you seem to be babbling nonsense to them. ...He welcomes you with honor." Snape is having two conversations at once. He will need whiskey later. Or maybe straight to the hookah. "I explained about your people, and the children, when last I was here, you see. They consider you a hero."
Some bows slightly, respectfully. "I'm honored, but most of the effort and risk wasn't mine.'
One of the other figures approaches. "She, this is Aunt Beast, by the way. She has helped care for outworlders before. The others do not have names that translate to words, but the one in front is the one with whom I usually speak. Aunt Beast says that one risk does not outweigh another. How are the children now, and what would you ask of this village?"
"They're doing well. They were ill when we brought them out, but they've all been treated and should recover completely. They're learning to see. But their whole world has changed, from being treated as stock to being /people/, and they need help and time and support to learn what that means. I'm hoping to find a home for six children and two young women, for as long as that might take."
Snape conveys this. "She is concerned about their vision. They do not see, and their homes have no light sources. She once cared for a human who found this disconcerting at first, but who became accustomed to it."
Some is finding himself more and more hopeful for this. "They've been raised with no light. We've been introducing it to them, a little at a time, but I still think they're more comfortable without it."
The one who seems to be Aunt Beast ripples her fur in what might be a shrug. "She says they will try not to discourage their vision though...she finds sight using eyes to be quite limited. Ah. My friend wants to know when you plan to bring the children."
Some can't bite back his grin, glancing over at Snape. "As soon as they all have clean bills of health. In the next two or three days."
"'Day' is something of a foreign term here, but I've conveyed the general meaning. Ah, if you would like to visit one of their dwellings, we may do so."
"Do they have an equivelant? How do they measure time? Um, yes, I'd love to."
"By the stars," Snape answers. "They hear the heavens singing."
The three beings turn and lead them up and over the hill. There's a small collection of huts, formed from grey earth with thatched roofs. The place has an inhabited feel, though no one is visible. They skirt around the side of the village to a particular hut, which the third and thus-far unintroduced being gestures them toward.
"The huts are not all uniform, and this is a small example. I assume you need no additional illumination." The interior is surprisingly airy, the furniture formed from clay shaped out from the wall or up from the floor, and the decorations and cushions are woven from the grass outside or from the beings' own fur. There actually are windows in the walls, placed there for ventillation.
"There would be flowers, they say, but they are not blooming now."
Some admires the dwelling, though he's also looking around for other inhabitants with more senses than just sight. "Is this winter, now?"
No one else in here. The beings have their own particular smell, somewhat like nutmeg, underneath the smell of earth and grass and clean water. "The climate here does not vary much, though there is a rainy season. It seems the flowers' life cycle is tied to the moon." There are three rooms: a sort of common room with a table, a kitchen/bathroom with a large stone basin, and a bedroom, with soft furs. Some of the other buildings look as if they
Some likes it; this place strikes him as very comfortable in a quiet way. "I think this is wonderful..."
"They are glad." So glad, Snape can't help but smiling a little in sympathy. "Three days, then?"
"Three days." Some bounces lightly on his feet. "Is there anything I can do for them in return?"
"They have all that they need, but...this world is a sanctuary of sorts. They would ask that you remember that, and agree, as I have, to keep it secret and safe from the Nexus as a whole."
"Of course. Yes. Would I be able to visit, or would it be better to not?"
There's a pause. "They have no way to communicate with you. You would need to bring someone who can be spoken to telepathically, who could also be trusted." Snape does not SAY 'someone who is not insane,' but it's there in his voice.
No Jon. Got it. "Right. I'm sorry about this difficulty -and thank you, Mr. Snape. My species just has a mind ordered very differently."
Snape simply nods. "Let us leave them in peace. They will look for our return." He gestures to the door. As a guest, he would not apparate inside this house.
Bowing again to their silent guide, Some makes his exit, trying not to simply bounce. This is better than he could have hoped.
Leading Some a short way away, Snape turns and raises his hand to their hosts. They seem to acknowledge that somehow, and raise tentacle-limbs in return. "Do you wish to come back to the school, or shall we part here?
"I'll go back to the kids." Some offers Snape a hand. "Thank you so much, Sir."
Snape shakes it, then lets go so Some can go be Somewhere else.

You can't go home again.

2008-01-23T04:31:05Z

He came down from the pink candy in time, though he was cheery and giggly all through class. Maybe there was just something funny about halva, the candy made from nutmeats and semolina. But by the time last bell rang, he was more sober, and he gave the house-elves instructions for dinner, selected a bottle from those he'd added to the wine cellar, and left them to it.

He took himself home. Not Home, but home to his old cave, nearly empty now. Undressing slowly, he folded his clothing and left it in a tidy stack atop a smooth, flat rock, his shoes side by side at its base. Cradling the bottle against his chest, he waded into the sleek, dark river until his feet left the bottom, and swam across in sharp, one-armed strokes. On the far bank, he shook the water from his hair and left damp footprints up the slope of white sand, up to the circle that was still here. One small phalloi stood on the boundary, a perfect orbit marked in smooth white stones. Some stepped across solemnly.

"I bring a gift for Hermes Nea Polios, god of the new city." That's what he says every day, part of his morning ritual. But this time he goes on. "God of my form, and of those who hope to pass unknown. I'm going to see my Poppa's funeral, and none of my family can know. I ask for your blessing."

And just that. He pours the wine with his eyes shut, listening to the muted sound of liquid striking sand and sinking into it. The only sounds in the cave are liquid until he turns and steps carefully back out of the circle. Returning to his own side of the river is the blink of an eye, and he sends the bottle downstream. The gun is in a pocket of his jacket, lying on the rock, and he retrieves it and kneels, cradling it.

He wonders what it will be like to die, like his father and poppa. They were eight when he was born, along with his not-father and his mother, and his not-mother was seven. All young and alive and in love, the way he feels now. Nineteen is a good, long life, one any Grue should be happy with, but how will it feel to grow so old? Will he struggle for youth and life, or for peace? Which did his poppa do?

Some lifts the gun, holds the light plastic barrel against his temple, and squeezes the bright orange trigger. It's become a familiar pain, the bone-deep reordering of himself. It spreads from his target. More eyes first, opening through unsealed skin, and then the eruption of the second mouth, the downward rippling of fur along a spine that grows and re-curves like sea-weed. Arms unfold, legs unfold, and his next breath in fills four lungs. Stumbling to his feet, adjusting to his once-native, now-foreign size and shape, he steps back into the water. His body feels cold and stale, like clothing left too long in the closet. And he goes.

---

This isn't the farm Some grew up visiting. Like everyone else, his uncle Vru had to move after the Nexus intruded too close to the old City. But the feel of the place is still familiar from endless childhood weekends. Clinging to the ceiling, chilled by water to the temperature of the surrounding stone, Some watches the swirl of his own kind below. His family, sprawling and extended, mills around. So many cousins, aunts and uncles and otherwise. He trembles, unable to stop it. Too many here. All it would take is for one to see him.

All the same, he creeps closer to press himself into a crevice where he can hear their voices. Tova, his father, is talking quietly to his stepfather, Tessick, but they both still hold their tails still and low in distaste. The women, his mothers Shelleck and Fret, his not-mother Fenne, and his not-sister Renne, hold sway over the little ones who are too small to understand the gravity of the situation. There are more of them than he remembers there being. Family resemblances abound, and he hears his mother saying that his sister Vie is about to become a mother. Their poppa died a grandpoppa, at least. Looking around, Some counts heads. Ten children, three of them not yet old enough to hunt for themselves. At least as many grandchildren. A fine legacy for any Grue to leave.

Attention focuses on Some's grota Leneee below, the other poppet in the family and Poppa Teee's heir. Uncle Vru's too, with Some no longer a member of the family. He steps onto the dais erected in the elegant courtyard by the front tunnel. He says a few words, but they're nothing special. Teee will be missed, he was proud of his family and his life, and it was his time. All the Things You Say. They don't change, across species. Up in his crevice, Some swallows back tears and stays silent. The body's already gone; it's traditional to send it on its way down the Great River still warm.

They all get up to speak. Shelleck, Romm, his not-father, and Fenne. Shova and Telleck, Some's older twin brothers. Renne, his not-sister, and his little sisters, Vie and Vier. Not so little now. His half-siblings are too young, Fremm and Temm and Tret, but they're there in the front row too, in their parents' laps.

And then it's over, once everyone has shared their memories of a good poppet, and the crowd begins to disperse. Some waits. It'll be safer to leave once most of the people are gone, and he's reluctant to go right away. Worming farther back into his concealing crevice, he watches Leneee perform the duties of host, thanking more distant family members for coming as they filter out through the tunnels. He inherited the farm, Some remembers Vier saying. So this is his home now. His and his family's: two children run up to the other poppet, and he scoops them both up into tight hugs before setting them on his back.

Everyone's nearly gone when a male that Some doesn't recognize approach Leneee, hooking an arm around his waist with intimate familiarity. Leneee puts his head on the other's shoulder, seeking comfort, and Some has to blink away tears again. He's been gone so long. The other sets the children back on the cavern floor, sending them back towards Vru's elegant pit-home with pats to the back, and he and Leneee turn towards the business end of the farm. Funeral or not, it's time to get back to work.

Some really should leave. He's seen what he came to see. But they were close, before everything. If Leneee were alone, he'd come out, risk it to speak to him, but instead, he drops from cavern ceiling to the roof of the stables, following the pair. Maybe he'll get a chance yet, and in the meantime, he can be close enough to eavesdrop, the way he did on his uncle as a child.

"Bad time to tell you this-" The other has a deep voice, and Some thinks that maybe he does remember him after all, as one of Leneee's gang of friends from school. "But Slowpoke didn't make it."

Leneee utters a low oath, without any energy. "That makes three of the breeding stock. And we're getting inspected next in a week. They're going to shut us down, Jevis."

Concerned, Some follows closer, until he becomes aware of the smell. Sickly thick, the smell of rotting... human... flesh. Alarm creeps in. Vru always kept the farm immaculate, his human stock neatly and humanely cared for.

"We have some savings," Jevis says, sounding resigned. "Enough to start over, if we start small."

"It's looking like that's the only option. Even if the pox leaves us any stock, we'll have to cull them or spend months in quarantine."

Some frowns, and doesn't try to follow the two into the stable itself. The smell is coming from a pit behind, and he crawls over to see.

The pit is full of bodies. He claps a hand over his mouth to muffle his sound of dismay at the sight. At least two dozen... Tiny human corpses, thrown away, none dead more than three days, some still cooling in the muddy earth. Children, all. The oldest couldn't be older than Savannah or Kurt. He groans behind his hand when he realizes what Leneee meant. Cull them. Cull the rest.

some_thing_ @ 2008-01-07T04:24:00

2008-01-07T12:25:50Z

Some often wished that he could sleep. He'd sit, wide awake, watching Jon or Nyoka, and just... wish.

Jon asleep was all angles, long arms and legs. He tended to fight the blankets, but Some never tired of tucking him back in, smoothing his hair back with fingers and lips. Asleep, Jon looked a lifetime younger. When he curled up against him, forehead to forehead, he imagined he could hear his dreams.

Nyoka asleep was all curves, a tangle of coil encompassing Some, exploiting his warmth. He'd rest his head on her breast, rubbing a foot idly against her sleek, cool scales, and let himself dream. He was sure that if he slept, he's sleep like her; long periods of limp, contented stillness interspersed with the jumping twitch of a dreaming hunter. He could almost track the progress of her prey, and he knew, he was sure, when it was human. That was when he'd kiss her awake.

some_thing_ @ 2007-12-25T14:01:00

2007-12-25T22:16:27Z

Some observed Christmas pretty quietly this year. It isn't, after all, a holiday of his own people. But it's one he enjoys, and he kept it by making small gifts for his friends. Every member of staff at Prime ~~willing to eat his food~~ will find some small treat they're partial to by their plate at the feast he and the house-elves arranged. They've worked together a while now, and Some's hobby is watching people eat.

For his own, there is more.

For Nyoka, a hunt, swift and early in the morning in a summer-drenched plain on some dry world, ending in a rush and flurry of hooves, antlers, and flesh.

For Jon, a small chest, filled with cleverly-carved books in Grue, and a set of ten tiny vials made of human bone. And many other small things, all hidden about the house and library with clever clues for the finding.

For Norman, artwork. A battle-scene carved in black stone, between blinded men and invading Grues, carved in opulent texture, for the pleasure of touch, and reigned over by an obsidian god.

For Hermes, a sacrifice of fine honey wine, and a perfectly ridiculous hat.

For Kurt, one bottle of very good dark ale, to be hidden from Snape and Gabe, tickets for two to an IMAX theater, and a set of fine kitchen knives. (With a note not to let Savannah chip them.)

For Savannah, a digital camera, with the default setting for the flash turned to off.

~~And for Augustus, a scarf of heavy, protective wool, the knives Some kept, and a letter.~~

Paper journal.

2007-12-18T09:42:44Z

12[20:01] * TeenySome is hiding in Jon's very dark bedroom, under the bed. He's about the size of a cat, all skittery and limbs and blinky eyes.
[20:03] <Jonathan> Jonathan makes sure not to turn on any light, and at least he knows the bedroom well enough to not need one. He also makes sure the door is good and shut, so there are no cats.
12[20:05] * TeenySome has a high little voice. "Jon, I'm tiny!"
[20:07] <Jonathan> "I can't see you, so be careful that I don't step on you, if you're very small." He sits down on the edge of the bed. "Are you all right?"
12[20:08] * TeenySome creeps out to be a warm, fuzzy weight against Jon's ankle. "Mmhm."
[20:10] <Jonathan> "You've kept your memories, though, obviously. That's good. How is your emotional age?" He scoops him up.
12[20:11] * TeenySome wraps six limbs around Jon's arm, clinging. "I don't liiiike it." He certainly sounds young.
06[20:13] * Jonathan pulls him close, and wraps his other arm around him, cuddling him like a cat. "Shh, it will be over soon enough."
12[20:14] * TeenySome tries to get inside his shirt.
06[20:15] * Jonathan lets him crawl inside. It's flannel, probably very warm.
12[20:16] * TeenySome has teeny sharp claws, but he's trying not to hurt Jon, and settles in the warm dark. "The cat was scary."
[20:18] <Jonathan> "Oh, you poor thing. Don't be scared. I have you. It's safe and dark. You're all right."
12[20:19] <TeenySome> "I can't go out to the Nexus."
[20:19] <Jonathan> "I'm here now."
06[20:20] * Jonathan feels oh-so-important right now. Maybe it'll last.
12[20:20] * TeenySome nuzzles against his chest. Very fuzzy.
[20:22] <Jonathan> "You are so dear. I won't let the cat get you, or any light get to you, I promise."
12[20:24] * TeenySome snuffles with growing contentment, a warm, soft weight. "I got a present, in the Nexus..."
[20:24] <Jonathan> "I'd heard that there were presents de-aging people. What was your present?"
12[20:26] <TeenySome> Toffee candies.
[20:27] <Jonathan> "That's lovely."
[20:29] <Jonathan> "I've decided what I would like for Christmas."
12[20:29] * TeenySome begins to investigate, his furry nose against Jon's ribs. "What?"
06[20:35] * Jonathan erps, tickled. "I would like a very warm blanket, and very many books."
[20:35] <Jonathan> "What do you want?"
12[20:36] <TeenySome> "A house." Snuffle-tickle.
[20:36] <Jonathan> "Oh, yes, that, too. I will need more books for the house, you see."
06[20:36] * Jonathan giggles.
12[20:38] * TeenySome nods. "Your room will be all bookshelves."
[20:38] <Jonathan> "Mmm, that's excellent. Bookshelves, and somewhere warm to read."
[20:38] <Jonathan> "And, occasionally, to sleep."
12[20:39] * TeenySome peers out of his collar.
06[20:40] * Jonathan doesn't see him, and assumes he is as cute as a button, with many eyes.
12[20:41] * TeenySome trills. "I want a big basement for me."
[20:44] <Jonathan> "Huge! I could visit."
12[20:44] <TeenySome> "Yes! With a SANDPIT!"
[20:46] <Jonathan> "Oh yes?"
12[20:46] <TeenySome> "Yes, a sandpit with warm sand... It's the BEST thing, Jon."
[20:47] <Jonathan> "I would think it would be itchy."
12[20:48] <TeenySome> "You -roll- in it, and then shake it aaaaaaall out of your fur."
[20:49] <Jonathan> "I don't -have- any fur, you silly little spider."
12[20:49] * TeenySome pats his face with tiny six-fingered hands. "You have hair!"
[20:51] <Jonathan> "And all of the sand would get stuck in it, Some!" He chuckles, quietly.
12[20:52] * TeenySome is a silly little monster. "I'm huuuuuungry."
[20:53] <Jonathan> "What do you want to eat?"
12[20:55] * TeenySome crawls out of his collar, up onto Jon's shoulder. "... Um."
[20:56] <Jonathan> "hm?"
12[20:57] <TeenySome> "Um. I made jerky... It's in the kitchen... I think."
[20:58] <Jonathan> "Would you like me to bring it to you?"
12[20:59] <TeenySome> "I made it but I hid it. ....._.....
[21:03] <Jonathan> "Oh dear. Where did you hide it?"
12[21:04] <TeenySome> "In the... um. In the cabinet."
[21:06] <Jonathan> "In the cabinet?" Is this something he can just pinpoint in, grab and pinpoint out with?
12[21:08] <TeenySome> Well, there are many cabinets in the kitchen. "Uh-huh."
[21:09] <Jonathan> "Which one?"
[21:12] <Jonathan> [[gah, I will brb, need to go move computer to somewhere warmer
[21:13] <Jonathan> [[back!]]
12[21:14] * TeenySome shifts from foot to foot to foot to foot. "... I don't remember."
[21:14] <Jonathan> "Then I right well can't -get- it for you, can I? I suppose I'll have to go catch someone for you."
12[21:15] * TeenySome bounces a little. "That's what my parents used to do!"
[21:15] <Jonathan> "Well, then! You should take me somewhere good."
12[21:17] * TeenySome does! He does leave one of Jon's shoes behind, though, because he is very little. But now they're in a parking garage.
06[21:19] * Jonathan hrms and looks around. This is going to be damn tricky.
12[21:22] * TeenySome is going back in his shirt.
06[21:23] * Jonathan pads quietly and one-shoelessly through the parking garage in search of tasty people who aren't bigger than he is.
12[21:23] <TeenySome> Liiiiike... an old lady walking to her car?
06[21:24] * Jonathan hates old women. Sure!
06[21:24] * Jonathan walks right up to her.
12[21:25] <TeenySome> People are not so trusting as they once were, and she clutches her purse tightly, giving him a thin, suspicious look.
12[21:32] <TeenySome> People are not so trusting as they once were, and she clutches her purse tightly, giving him a thin, suspicious look.
06[21:33] * Jonathan doesn't even stop to think that she might be a dear old woman, going home to her family, getting ready to spend the holiday with them, or any such thing. She is obviously a bad woman, by virtue of... being... and he smiles at her, entirely unpleasantly, and empties a canister of fear gas at her face.
12[21:36] <TeenySome> She screams quite loudly, even before it actually takes effect, and Some clutches at Jon's chest with his claws, still hiding inside his shirt. Hungryyyy. "Get her!"
06[21:36] * Jonathan grabs her! Ok, he's not so wimpy that he can't handle one old woman.... so get them out of there, now, Some!
12[21:38] * TeenySome laughs like a little chittering thing, and BINK takes them back to Jon's house!
06[21:39] * Jonathan has her by the throat and pins her to the floor. He does not like little old ladies, no sir.
12[21:40] * TeenySome squirms out of his shirt and down his arm to skitter all over her, sniffing. She is absolutely positive that he's a very large dog, about to tear out her throat. "Gas, she smells all scared like gas."
[21:43] <Jonathan> "Yes, because I poisoned her."
06[21:43] * Jonathan hits her head on the floor. Damn old woman.
12[21:44] * TeenySome scrambles back up his arm. She's still moving an awful lot, and he is very small.
06[21:47] * Jonathan will hold her still, here. It's not that difficult, after all. Now she'll scream more, won't she?
12[18:04] <Some> She certainly does scream a lot. Some creeps baaaaaack down, and she screams more when he tears her shirt and bites her shoulder quite hard, tearing free a bite.
06[18:04] * Jonathan can't see her at all, which means he knows -exactly- who she is. Yes. He'll just sit there, holding her down and calmly bashing her head against the floor some more.
12[18:06] * Some feeds, eating right down to the bone with predatory little snarls and snaps and growls. Little old ladies can't handle a lot of this sort of treatment.
06[18:08] * Jonathan is fairly certain that she won't last long. Good.
12[18:13] * Some is full before she's gone, and sits up like a little eight-legged lemur on her chest. "I'm done, d'you want some?"
[18:17] <Jonathan> "I've already gotten what I wanted." He narrows his eyes.
06[18:17] * Jonathan keeps slamming her head against the wooden floor, regardless of if she's dead or not.
12[18:17] * Some runs up onto Jon's arm. "M'fuuuull."
[18:20] <Jonathan> "I am so glad." Cleanup isn't even on his mind, but this is his damn bedroom.
12[18:20] * Some feels all round and sluggish, clambering up onto Jon's shoulder.
06[18:26] * Jonathan says, almost accusitory, "Have we made a mess?"
12[18:26] * Some nods, sniffing the air and settling in. "Mmmmmmhm."
[18:28] <Jonathan> "That really doesn't do, does it? You terrible thing."
12[18:29] * Some still sounds rather nonchalant about it. "Eating is messy."
[18:30] <Jonathan> "You'd damn well better clean the place, or we'll have to see about taking care of that."
12[18:32] <Some> "But I wanna cuddle." No one likes to do much right after a big meal.
[18:33] <Jonathan> "Clean up the blood -now- or I will be very cross."
12[18:36] * Some pouts, but slinks back down to send the lady's body back where they got it.
06[18:36] * Jonathan feels around for the blood. He really is not in a good place, right now.
12[18:39] * Some is getting to it! He's a very small thing!
06[18:42] * Jonathan snarls at him. "Get it now."
12[18:44] * Some hisses back, and tackles his arm. "Play with me and I will!"
06[18:47] * Jonathan almost swings at him, but slams his fist into the floor, instead. D:
12[18:48] * Some scrambles back, a little skitter of a thing.
[18:50] <Jonathan> "SomeI'mgonnahurtthem. I'm gonna... Some..."
12[18:51] * Some is under the bed. "I don't wanna clean up!"
[18:53] <Jonathan> "Idon'twannahurtthem!"
12[18:55] <Some> "Who?"
[18:55] <Jonathan> "The children!"
12[18:55] <Some> "... I'm a children."
[18:56] <Jonathan> "Why won't you be yourself, now?!"
12[18:57] <Some> D: "I don't know how."
[18:58] <Jonathan> "Don't go away..."
12[19:01] <Some> "Don't yell."
[19:07] <Jonathan> "I won't, I'm sorry."
12[19:12] * Some creeps out again, to brush against Jon's hand.
[19:13] <Jonathan> "I'm so sorry!"
12[19:13] * Some leeeeeeans on his arm.
06[19:14] * Jonathan scoops him up, again.
[19:22] <Jonathan> "I won't hurt you."
12[19:22] * Some cuddles into his arms. "Even if I don' clean up?"
[19:23] <Jonathan> "Even if you don't, i won't, I'm sorry."
[19:23] <Jonathan> "I-i-it's j-just th-that I remembered what sh-she said..."
12[20:28] * Some headbutts him. "Mrp?"
06[20:33] * Jonathan squeaks, in surprise. He can't tell exactly where the little guy is, after all.
12[20:33] * Some climbs up him again. Some can has shoulders?
06[20:34] * Jonathan lets him up on his shoulders.
[20:35] <Jonathan> "If you were older, perhaps you could understand more than I do, now, and help me."
12[20:37] * Some snuggles against his neck. "I'll grow all up again."
[20:37] <Jonathan> "Yes, you will."
06[20:37] * Jonathan ruffles his fur.
12[20:40] * Some squeaks and squirms, enjoying it.
06[20:41] * Jonathan humors him and keeps at it.
06[20:41] * Jonathan really tries to not be sullen.
12[20:41] * Some licks his hands.
[20:42] <Jonathan> "Let's read."
[20:42] <Jonathan> "Oh... no, no, the light..."
12[20:43] <Some> "I can hide in your shirt."
[20:50] <Jonathan> "I don't want to hurt you."
12[20:53] <Some> I can hide in your shirt or under the blankets or anywhere reeeeeally dark.
[20:54] <Jonathan> "Then I can read to you!"
12[20:55] * Some nodnodnods, and squirms away to skitter up on the bed. Blanket rustling!
06[21:00] * Jonathan turns on a bedside lamp, juuuuust enough light to read by, and pulls a book off one of the shelves.
12[21:01] * Some is a squirmy little lump deep under the blankets.
06[21:07] * Jonathan sits down next to him, and will read him stories for a very long time.
12[21:08] * Some can't fall asleep while being read to, isn't that great? The little lump will snuggle right against the side of Jon's leg, and listen and listen and listen.
06[21:11] * Jonathan could, in theory, fall asleep, but he's -reading-, so this can go on until an insane hour.

Eeeeheehee, I am under Jon's bed, and I stole some paper. I am tiny! I ate candy and I am TINY and he got me food and it was good, but I am tiny and would like to be big again soon.

private

2007-11-22T07:52:50Z

<@Some> It's edging towards this world's mild winter here, a thin, cold breeze flattening the dry grass.
Kurtlet appears. Ohhh nice cool breeze. It smells /wonderful/ here.
Some flops on the grass. "It's just been a weird few days."
Kurtlet settles next to him. "Ja. ...I have been worried about you. I am worried."
<Kurtlet> I know you want this family and...and for Herr Crane to be happy. And I know you worry about him, and that he is in danger. I'm sorry to hear it.
<@Some> Something attacked Jon again. A lot worse, this time.
[23:08] <Kurtlet> I think he needs to get out of his house. Quickly.
<@Some> We're looking for a new house, one for all of us.
Some> And we went to the Clinics, and I got Snape and Eiko, and they examined him, and Eiko says he's got congestive heart failure and malnutrition and too many drugs in his system and I -try so hard- to get him to eat, and it makes him sick.
Kurtlet> He is...yes, I think he has maybe been sick for a long time. Some, him not eating is not your fault! You help him a lot but this can't be all on you.
<Kurtlet> Hmm. Did they say what he should do?
<Kurtlet> Does he need to be in a hospital?
<@Some> No, I know, but... No, he needs to eat better and exercise, so I'm going to harass him with food until he's sick of me.
<Kurtlet> Well...maybe if he starts getting better, he'll start feeling better and be thankful.
<@Some> Because this is on me, this -is- how I can help him. I do food.
Kurtlet> Lots of soups, I guess.
Kurtlet> Easier to eat.
<@Some> Soup made with no salt. *makes a face*
<@Some> Today was apples. I made him eat an apple for breakfast, and another before bed.
<Kurtlet> ...And that is all he ate?
<@Some> No. He had soup for lunch, and fried chicken for dinner.
<Kurtlet> Mein Gott, it's a miracle he didn't- oh. Okay, whew!
@Some has a little chart in his brain for what Jon eats. It's very detailed.
Kurtlet sighs. Nervous. "Okay. Some, can I bring something up?"
@Some nods, looking up at him.
<Kurtlet> "I am...Some, I am really worried about you and Jon and Nyoka having kids."
@Some sorta expected that. "So am I."
Kurtlet nods.
Kurtlet> I know how much you want them... but I do not know if you can have them /and/ Herr Crane.
Kurtlet> He already takes up a lot of time for you and... well if he is sick also, he will need even more.
@Some shuts his eyes. "I... yeah." -.- "We have... what might be a plan, but it won't work if he's sick."
<Kurtlet> I am worried that there will be no way to avoid a situation where you will have to choose between taking care of them and taking care of him. And... I don't want you to have to do that.
Kurtlet sighs and stretches out
@Some picks at the grass, eyes still shut. "I don't know how to choose. I'm horrible at it."
Kurtlet> I know. You want to do everything.
Some> "I love him."
<Kurtlet> "Then I think you have to chose him. He is already here. He already needs you."
@Some clutches at the grass, voice strained. "I... But. I know, but..."
Kurtlet stays still, voice barely above a whisper. "I know. It's not fair. If I could fix it, I would."
@Some is biting back tears, his voice just as quiet. "I don't know if I can choose him... and not resent him for it."
Kurtlet rolls over to pull him into a hug
@Some curls into it, biting his lip hard. "Why can't I ever have a whole family?"
<Kurtlet> "I don't know," Kurt murmurs. What can he say? What can he possibly say? "Whatever you decide to do, I will stand by you through it."
@Some clings to him.
<@Some> I fall in love too easily... Nyo and I were going to adopt, when it was all of us. And then when it was just us. But now that it's Jon too, it would ruin everything.
Kurtlet is warm and comfy in the cool weather. "You...ja, mein freund, you do. And I remember you speaking of adopting...oh perhaps as long as I've known you. But now instead of a child you have sortof adopted Crane. He has been much happier. I don't think I have seeen him so happy except with that Izzy woman. ...What does Nyoka think?"
<@Some> "Nyo is worried about what sort of mother she'd make, but as long as it's what I want, it's what she wants..."
Kurtlet nods. "I think she will be good. Heh. She may be more the father and you more the mother, but that is just as good. And with Crane?"
<@Some> "Nyo likes Jon... They don't know each other very well. We're trying to fix that. Movie nights... and stuff."

UNFINISHED LOG
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't do this. It wouldn't be fair to Jon, it wouldn't be fair to the children, it wouldn't be fair to the Things, and it wouldn't be fair to Nyoka. I'm greedy. I can't have everything.

I can't have children.

some_thing_ @ 2007-10-30T21:16:00

2007-10-31T04:20:35Z

An anonymous note is left on PrIME grounds, concerning this.

Monsters loose in the Nexus. Would suggest school lockdown immediately. Many bad things.

And a considerably less anonymous visit occurs, as Some seeks out Kurt with all possible speed. Which isn't much, in the shape he's in.

some_thing_ @ 2007-09-06T01:25:00

2007-09-06T08:27:17Z

I went down to the new City today, and walked among my own kind. And no one knew me as anything but another body in the crowd, because I didn't want them to.

A conversation, somewhere. It is dark.

2007-08-21T16:37:16Z

"Father, how are you today?"

"Better? We bet you're better."

"You smell happy. Content."

"Peaceful."

"I'm doing good, actually. Haven't seen you in days."

"Oh Father. Was that supposed to be-"

"It was!"

"Don't you love us, Father?"

"Your sons. The only sons of your body you will ever have."

"All of us."

"Aren't we beautiful to you? Almost human."

"You do love humans, don't you?"

"More and more every day."

"Some of them are going to get jealous. Shallow creatures."

"That's not our department, though."

"You do choose well, at least."

"We like Mr. Osborn. And Nyoka. And Mr. Crane."

"Jooonathan. His other self is so much prettier, though."

"We're sorry, Father. We need it back."

"He doesn't need it anyway, you'd love him without it. He's so needy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it, Father. You'll love us again."

Overwhelmed.

2007-08-07T16:51:58Z

Some kneels in the white sand of his cave for a long time, silent and lost in thought, before he pours out the bottle of wine into the circle solemnly, as he does every morning.

But today, he would like to speak to Hermes.

Hunting fish in a barrel. [RP with Ramon.]

2007-07-25T09:00:33Z

When Wentworth Prison was built, it held mostly prisoners of war, a dozen to a cell in the windowless stone chambers of this miserable, isolated keep. But that was three hundred years ago. Today, harsh neon lights the old stonemasonry, and the floors are a sickly pea-green shade of linoleum that's supposed to be soothing. The long rooms are divided by cinderblock walls into smaller cells, their gleaming barred fronts an aggressive contrast to the original stone.

The inmates down here still have no windows. They have the basic necessitities of life, and the cells look very lived-in. There is not a man down here who expects, reasonably, to see the sun again. This is Life and Death, down here in the bowels of Wentworth.

Some knows this place well enough to appear with Ramon in a corner where two corridors join at an odd angle, hiding them from the guard station at one end and the camera at the other. "Do you need light?" he murmurs quietly, releasing his arm.

some_thing_ @ 2007-06-04T22:19:00

2007-06-05T05:19:30Z

Hopefully, Kurt doesn't have a grass allergy, because that's all this world seems to be; tall rustling grass, just beginning to turn summer brown at the tips. It's sunset when they appear, still bright enough that Some ducks down into the green undercarriage of the grass, tugging Kurt down too.

Surprise.

2007-05-14T09:22:12Z

Some hasn't told anyone, up to and including Norman, but he's back in Osborn's guest room, grass burrs all through his clothes and hair.

some_thing_ @ 2007-05-08T15:01:00

2007-05-08T22:11:32Z

"Because you know what sort of state you get in, when you don't. And neither Amber nor I are immortal anymore."

Oh, Some does know. He knows far, far too well. ~~The taste of Key's throat, and the blood so easily spilt...~~ But there's no one out here to be in danger from him. Only the wind keeps him company on this world, the world where he used to bring Augie to hunt lions and mammoth. Lying in the green spring grass of the steppes, Some watches the stars wheel above, ignoring the way their light makes his skin tighten and itch and his unshaded eyes water. He could imagine living here, building a new home in one of the narrow sandstone caves that bubble this broad continent, or the incredible crystalline caverns of the mountain range in the distance. Leaving the Nexus behind for this hermitage, his only company the tree-bound prehumans that taste close enough but never ~~like him~~ just right. Cooking over an open fire, gathering his own herbs and ingredients from the countryside at night.

Or just lying here and waiting for the sun to rise.

((Conversation log under the cut))

2007-05-02T22:06:04Z

PINning in from Amber's, they appear in a dark hallway near the study, Norman still holding Some. And he makes his way down the hall, to a room...

Some clings to him numbly, not looking around, just staring into the middle distance with his head against Norman's shoulder. So much went wrong, so very fast.

The room he picks is an incredibly generic guest room, done in the same dark style as the rest of the house. He pushes the door open, and slips inside -- setting Some down, carefully, on the bed and sitting beside him. "Will this do?"

He'd have nodded if Norman had just set him inside an iron maiden. "M'sorry," he murmurs again, shivering.

Norman wraps his arms around him, loosely, and just holds him. "It's alright. You can stay here as long as you need."

Some doesn't cuddle into it, everything about him in marked contrast to the night before. "I attacked Cuckoo. Nyoka saved him... I haven't seen either of them since." It's so cruel that he remembers everything.

"Give them time." His voice is gentle, patient. "I don't think you were in your right mind, Some. This has apparently happened to a few people. It's another Nexus thing. It wasn't your fault."

He shakes his head. It doesn't matter which mind he was in, right or wrong, because Augie is dead and other people are hurt. "Fucking Nexus." Flat, with no inflection at all. Some wishes he'd never come here, wishes desperately that he were still counting knots in the IRS.

Sigh. "Yes." Deep breath. "You can stay here as long as you like, Some. And I'm here to talk, if you need me. Okay?"

Another nod, and he blinks, turning just enough to look at Norman. "You're okay?"

"Yes." He strokes his hair. "I'm okay. I promise."

"I don't know why I did it." So very quiet. "I just thought 'why shouldn't I?' and added the drugs. I don't even know why I had them."

Norman nods. "It wasn't you. Something in the Nexus did it to you, and you did something you wouldn't have done, otherwise. It's horrible, and you are going to have to live with the consequences, but it wasn't your mind that came up with it. You aren't that person."

"What if it hadn't been you? What if it was Kurt, or Eiko?"

"Then it still wouldn't have been your mind that came up with it."

He just slumps slowly onto one side, lying down Wishes he could sleep. "Someone should tell Mr. Snape I won't be back."

Norman frowns. "No."

"Please? They're -kids-..."

"They are. And you're their teacher." He doesn't move to leave, and his voice is firm. "You can take a leave of absence, if you like. But I will not allow you to resign outright. Not while you're in this state."

He shakes his head, face pressed against the blankets.. "No. If Snape doesn't fire me, and he -should-, because I -know- better than to come when I'm not right, I'll quit. I have to. I could have hurt any of them, I could have killed any of them and-" He can picture it all too easily, and he stops talking, pressing his mouth tightly shut.

"Some." Definite steel in his voice, now. "What am I, to you?" Dirty pool, perhaps, but he can't let the young man make this mistake.

Some has to swallow hard a few times before he can banish the taste of bile, before he can trust himself to open his mouth. "You are my god," he answers, softly.

"Do you, then, trust me to give advice that is sound, and in your best interests?"

He nods, something helpless in the set of his shoulders. Still not looking at Norman, though. Not looking at anything.

Norman nods. But when he speaks again, his voice is back to being gentle. "I know this hurts. I know there aren't even words for how horrible you're feeling right now. But please. Trust me on this. Don't quit. You can't throw away everything else in your life, because of this. Take a leave of absence, for now, and spend your time grieving and trying to fix what you can. Then come back to the school, when you feel able to again."

A deep breath, and some sound of assent. He's not convinced, he's terrified, but he'll obey. "I'll... yes. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." It's going to take time, he knows. But he knows that right now, no good decisions are going to come out of this grieving, broken young man. "I can send the Headmaster a letter?"

How do you tell someone you're missing work because you've murdered your lover? You let someone else do it. No. Some curls up more tightly. "No, I'll.... I'll go tomorrow. To talk to him."

Norman nods. "Alright."

He goes silent now, save for the ragged breathing, head buried under his arms and a hand covering the deep punctures on his neck.

Norman will stay beside him until he needs to go back to Thunderbolts Mountain. When that time comes, he will lean over to touch Some's hair one last time, and then quietly PINpoint out.

Some is quiet, Some is still, and eventually, Some is in the cave-like niche under the bed, blockaded by the blankets and pillows, just staring into the dark with wet black eyes.

some_thing_ @ 2007-05-01T08:26:00

2007-05-01T15:28:10Z

There is a message for Cuckoo. Some would like to see him, in his cave. Pretty please?

Private.

2007-04-29T23:19:37Z

Why shouldn't I?

[Locked to the harem]

2007-04-05T05:18:30Z

Augie? Nyoka? Cuckoo? Mel? I really need to talk to all of you. It's important.