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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Chantal's LiveJournal:

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    Thursday, November 19th, 2009
    6:05 pm
    Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
    9:34 pm
    Not too long ago someone said, something along the lines of...

    "My parents think it's wonderful... That we would drive from out of town for the viewing of a grandparent just to be there for each other..."

    Those words made me want to cry...

    I know that none of you knew my grandparents; with the exception of one, I didn't (really) know them either...

    That's why these two women were so unbelievable important to me.

    Auntie Vera WAS my Gran Wall, for all intents and purposes.
    She always remembered, she always cared.
    I loved her so much.
    And to this day, a cardinal can bring tears to my eyes because they make me think of her.

    When she passed away last year. I called one friend, and she listened to my story... I changed my picture in her honour, my status too... and not a single one of you said a god damn thing... not a single sympathy was sent my way.

    I was hurting.
    I would have liked to have been shown some support.
    To have known that you all were there for me.

    Now, Auntie Floss is gone.
    A airy spirit, with a warm heart.
    My last close connection to my "Cymraeg" heritage.
    I don't know if my family will find a reason to go to Wales again.
    She was the reason we went before.

    Another remembrance day....

    Is a simple, "sorry to hear" too much to ask?
    Shouldn't my pain and loss be acknowledged too?

    I just don't understand, why if it's anyone else, everyone's on the horn. So and so's so and so passed away. Let's send arrangements, let's go to visitations and funerals...

    I'm not begrudging that... I think it's important, to be there for each other....

    I just have to wonder why no one is there for me?
    9:18 pm
    Sometimes I think that we don't live our lives, our lives live us, they twist us and turn us in ways that we would never expect or dream of... or maybe we do, but we just dismiss them as impossibilities...
    Sunday, October 18th, 2009
    11:45 pm
    I can do this...
    Besides the occasion panic attack and frustration freak out... (did you know I needs a new pair of glasses, oy)

    I'm getting so much better at this.

    Tonight I feel elated.

    Things are good.

    A night out with friends..
    wonderful, fabulous, friends...

    with wonderful, fabulous, men.

    celebrating love.

    Today, goals are met. Things accomplished...

    very productive.

    I am strong.
    and motivated.
    and positive.
    and...

    I'm feeling on top of the world.

    I'm looking forward to my dreams tonight.
    Sunday, July 19th, 2009
    5:17 pm
    "The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to—that's the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options." - S. Meyer
    Monday, July 6th, 2009
    8:13 pm
    Today while working in the office....
    Student while filling out registration forms:

    "So, where it says 'date', do I just write 'yes' and then ask for your number?"


    SERIOUSLY? haha.... urgh....
    Saturday, July 4th, 2009
    1:15 pm
    "You are... well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence."
    1:09 pm
    "That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasn't mean - and greedy, too - I would tell him I didn't want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep my friend when that would hurt him. I didn't know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it wasn't good."
    Sunday, June 28th, 2009
    10:19 am
    Nothing is for certain... Nothing is forever...
    Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
    11:13 am
    New Moon
    "One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you." p 219

    "... this was so real that it sang out loud with joy and life and true love" p 333

    "How many ways can a heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating?" p 495

    "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty." p 514
    10:43 am
    If you want to solve a problem, you cannot solve it if you continue to think the same way you were thinking when you created it.
    - Albert Einstein.
    Sunday, June 7th, 2009
    12:48 pm
    Inspired...
    If I had a dime
    For every time
    I thought about kissing you

    I would have 10 cents

    I thought about it once,
    and haven't stopped since...
    Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
    9:08 pm
    Frank Warren Commencement Speech
    It was an honor to deliver the Commencement Address at St. Mary's College of Maryland today.

    I invited students to share their own "One-Sentence Commencement Speech."

    Read their collective wisdom in my full remarks below and add your own in the comments that follow.

    Twenty years ago, I was sitting among a sea of white folding chairs, just like you are today. I was graduating with my friends from UC Berkeley. I can’t recall who the commencement speaker was that day, or what he or she said. So, in some ways -- even though this is the first commencement address I have delivered -- I feel very little pressure. But in other ways I feel unprepared and undeserving of this great honor you have given me.

    Five years ago I started collecting secrets for an art project I call PostSecret. I invited strangers to write their secrets on postcards and mail them to me, anonymously. Today, I still get about 1,000 every week from all over the world and share them with people on the web and in five PostSecret books.

    These secrets can tell a funny story, expose a sexual taboo, describe someone’s most humiliating experience or reveal hidden acts of kindness. Each secret is unique just like a fingerprint. But collectively they remind us how connected we all are with friends, and strangers, and how precious those relationships can be.

    From the nearly half-million postcards that have been mailed to me, I brought one example to read to you. This is a postcard that I carry with me every time I travel to talk about PostSecret. Like so many of the secrets, if you truly open yourself up to them at the core there is a kernel of experience or wisdom that we can learn from. This secret reminds me to always treat the people I meet during my frequent travels with the kindness and respect that we all deserve. And once I read you this secret I think you will understand why.

    My home address is on the back of the card along with a stamp and a cancelation mark, this postcard was mailed from Seattle Washington. On the front are six RUSH stickers from an airport baggage handler. The secret reads: You called me an idiot so I sent your bags to the wrong destination. WHOOPS, I guess you were right.

    In the same spirit as PostSecret, a month ago, I asked each member of your 2009 Class to write down a brief message on a postcard. I didn’t ask for a secret. I asked instead for a response to the following question: What do my classmates, and I, need to hear on Graduation Day?

    I did not know what to expect by tapping into your collective wisdom, but I was soon thrilled by the insight, humor, and inspiration I felt in your earnest one-sentence commencement speeches. Here are just a few.

    Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks.

    It’s okay to fail – learn from it and you will succeed.

    It’s better to be pissed-off than pissed-on.

    These next three all offer solid advice about making the transition from St Mary’s to the real world.

    With the increased prevalence of multi-drug resistant bacteria and the increasingly epidemic worldwide outbreak of swine flu, WASH YOUR HANDS . . . RELIGIOUSLY.

    In the real world, you must wear shoes.

    I know some of us are going to walk off this stage today with no idea about what comes next – embrace it, find something that makes you happy, and follow it wherever it leads.

    These last two thoughts mention a part of the St. Mary’s experience that several students wrote about -- The St. Mary’s River.

    Perfection is something that everyone strives for, yet no one achieves; let the memory of the perfect sunrise over The St. Mary’s River drive your inspirations when you doubt your abilities in the future.

    Regardless of where the future takes us, we will still all have one commonality; the river and our time together here.

    This final inspirational thought came with a little back-story that I would like to include.

    So, I thought of this as I was getting breakfast at 8:30 this morning, after pulling an all-nighter. Yes, an all-nighter on the last night before the last day of classes ever in my undergraduate career. And then, parenthetically, I am still not done with my work, by the way; but I wanted to stop and write this . . .

    . . . I might be over the all-nighters in Baltimore Hall, the shower shoes, the no-soap-or-paper-towels-in-the-dispenser, and even the annoying Great Room hours of St. Mary’s College of Maryland; but I will never – EVER be over how each of those circumstances, at this fine institution, allowed me to meet the most fascinating and awesome people I have ever met in my life; I am humbled to call them friends!

    I really hope that person was able to finish up and be here. Are you out there? If you are please stand so we can recognize you. [Enthusiastic Applause]

    About 100 days ago I visited your special campus for the first time. I had a chance to appreciate the surroundings, the woods, The St. Mary’s River. And I got to know students, professors and staff. During that visit, I asked students if they had a favorite secret they had seen on the PostSecret website. One young woman recalled a secret that she had seen last year. It read: My friend believes they will change the world, and I believe them. She pointed out the classmate she was thinking of. I have forgotten the student’s name, but I believe they are here, right now, sitting in a white chair.

    My talk is almost over but before I close, I want to confess one of my secrets. It’s not a happy secret and I have never said it out loud before. . .I have lost contact with all of my college friends from Berkeley.

    In all the excitement of this special day, I hope you will not overlook the lasting value of the people you have shared this meaningful journey with. The friends, who decades from now will remember your face and character just as clearly as The St. Mary’s River.

    Don’t wait another minute to ask your classmate, professor or campus staff member for that email address, telephone number, or if you are old school like me -- mailing address.

    Twenty years from today, you probably won’t remember who your commencement speaker was or what he or she said. But I pray that each of you will never lose the important relationships formed in this extraordinary place with the old friends and new, who believe in you, and surround you, now -- in white folding chairs.
    Sunday, May 17th, 2009
    10:57 pm
    "Everyday it is a conscious decision to love the person your with."
    Weekends like this one make me realize that I keep making the right decision, over and over again.

    Thank you. :)
    <3<3<3
    Thursday, May 14th, 2009
    11:29 pm
    "It's never too late to become what you might have been."
    11:24 pm
    "You never know how things are going to turn out... You almost know... but you can never be quite sure."
    10:03 pm
    "Never let anyone make you feel guilty about your anger with God."

    I think the most devastating thing in the world...
    would be to watch someone you love...
    deteriorate...
    slip away....
    vanish...

    taken away...


    by alzheimer's
    Friday, April 3rd, 2009
    12:33 am
    Today...
    is what I have been missing...

    Tonight...
    leaps and bounds.
    Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
    7:28 pm
    Dear Oprah,

    People do not "decide" to be gay....

    For one of the world's most well known interviewers... you'd think you'd be more conscious of how you frame your questions.
    Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
    8:47 am
    The Bucket List
    The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then send it to your friends (including me).

    Things you have done during your lifetime:

    (x) Gone on a blind date
    (x) Skipped school
    () Watched someone die - does an animal count?
    (X)Been to Canada (live in Canada.... but have been to two other provinces as well)
    (x) Been to Mexico
    (x) Been to Florida
    () Been to Hawaii
    (x) Been on a plane
    (x) Been on a helicopter
    () Been lost
    () Gone to Washington, DC
    (X) Swam in the ocean (I can't swim.... but I've waded in the ocean)
    (X) Cried yourself to sleep
    () Played cops and robbers
    (X) Recently colored with crayons (relatively recently)
    (x) Sang Karaoke
    (x) Paid for a meal with coins only
    () Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
    (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
    (X) Made prank phone calls
    () Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
    (X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
    (X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
    () Danced in the rain-naked
    (X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
    (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
    (X) Watched the sunrise with someone
    (X) Blown bubbles
    (X) Gone ice-skating
    (X) Gone to the movies
    () Been deep sea fishing
    () Driven across the United States
    () Been in a hot air balloon - BUT I WOULD LOVE TO!
    () Been sky diving
    () Gone snowmobiling
    () Lived in more than one country
    () Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
    (X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
    () Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
    (x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
    () Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
    () Been on a cruise - I don't like the idea of this at all... I think I would think of the Titanic constantly... Maybe because I can't swim.
    (X) Traveled by train
    () Traveled by motorcycle... This is on my actual bucket list.
    (X) Been horse back riding
    (x) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
    (X) Been to Disneyland
    (x) Truly believe in the power of prayer!!! I do... but I think it might be a placebo affect...
    (x) Been in a rain forest
    (X) Seen whales in the ocean... maybe it was actually dolphins?
    (x)Been to Niagara Falls
    (X) Ridden on an elephant
    () Swam with dolphins
    () Been to the Olympics
    () Walked on the Great Wall of China
    () Saw and heard a glacier calf
    () Been spinnaker flying
    () Been water-skiing
    (x) Been snow-skiing both cross country and downhill
    (x) Been to Westminster Abbey
    (x) Been to the Louvre
    (x) Swam in the Mediterranean
    (x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
    (x) Been to a National Football League game
    (X) Played in the snow
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