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May 18th, 2007
08:41 pm - Wikipedia vandalism is funny!
I do not take credit for these, I just came across them in ordinary Wikiing. Compare to the current entries and see if you can find what doesn't belong!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Sydney0.gif) amused
Current Music: Pat Benatar - Heartbreaker
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October 23rd, 2006
04:02 am
Apparently there's no proper source for this on the internets anymore, or if there is then Google can't find it in which case it isn't really there anyway. Behold the glory of: NESTacos.
Also if anyone has episode 46 (does it exist?), I'd be much obliged.
Current Mood: happy
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April 14th, 2006
10:28 am
"The Doody family hope to raise profile of faggots"
Current Mood: man I'm crying here
Current Music: Ozric Tentacles - Jurassic Shift
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May 6th, 2005
March 6th, 2005
03:43 pm
The decision to replace my amp has been a long time coming, but now I reminisce and I find myself a tad sentimental. This amp has been with me for almost seven years now, and we've seen a lot together. The time the crackhouse I lived next to in Florida burnt to the ground? My amp was there, man.
With all this in mind, I'd like to relate a tale involving my amp that occurred about three years ago.
The costs of living in this area are significantly higher compared to what they were in Florida, such that when we first moved, real rent or mortgage payments were simply out of our league. The folks did some pre-emptive apartment hunting, and settled on what appeared to be a sound choice. Unfortunately as is often the case when coming to an unfamiliar area, there's a wide potential to be misled.
We quickly found things not to be as pleasant as we first thought. Our neighbors were downright terrible. Above, bigfoot stomped around as if in fear of its life. To one side, horny nymphs perpetually banged their headboard against the wall. To the other, a fourty-something stoner car salesman who really ought to grow up threw loud parties late into the night, blaring Pink Floyd and smoking dope on the deck. And below, several low-income immigrant families with several rugrat kids each banded together in one apartment to afford rent. Their loud music was much less palatable than Pink Floyd, and one among them who could neither tune nor play a guitar, let alone sing, would nevertheless attempt to do so out on the deck.
I guess these things are to be expected from apartment life, to some extent, but we found it altogether unacceptable. The apartment staff was useless and the police didn't want to be bothered to come out to essentially tell people to shut the fuck up. So after half a year or so, we found a place with rent we could afford and decided to break our lease and get the Hell out of Dodge.
Now it just so happens that our last day of moving coincided with an (apartment staff-endorsed) pool party at the pool just off of our deck. Our move was accompanied by ghetto blasters and booty bass at full volume. If we weren't already leaving, we'd have been forced to leave our home to escape the racket. Complaining to the staff about a disturbance doesn't accomplish much when the staff are the ones creating it.
Our move wasn't terribly far, so it was no problem to save a couple of things to move till last. I knew what I had to do. I had to find out how loud my amp could go.
I threw open all the sliding doors to the deck facing the pool, and turned my volume to three to start. I'd never pushed it past two before and I wasn't comfortable starting out too loud. At three, the entire apartment vibrated. Playing so close at such volume, the amp feedbacked almost uncontrollably. Almost immediately complaints were heard coming from the pool. It wasn't long before my volume knob found its way to seven, rocking the Mexicans below like a small earthquake. A friend of ours who was helping us move is a cop, so I wasn't concerned about any trouble.
The pool partiers sent a woman to ask that I turn it down. They couldn't hear their loud obnoxious noise over my own. So I turned it up, loud as possible. My brain rattled with the feedback. Fret noise became unbelievably loud, but I didn't sweat my sloppy performance. As far as I was concerned, the shittier I played the better.
Having finally decided that they'd had enough, I called it a day. We took our leave without any problems or comments, aside from one woman who supported my fury of aural combat. Woot! A fan.
And that's how I found out just how loud my amp will go. I haven't turned it up past two since. It's just not practical to own such a thundering performance amp when my largest audience is usually a couple of cats. I hope someone else is able to have as much fun with it as I have.
Current Mood: reminiscent
Current Music: Don Davis - Neodämmerung
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February 16th, 2005
08:46 pm - I've had all I can stands, 'cause I can't stands no more
Popeye is, in my estimation, the greatest philosopher of the 20th century. "I yam what I yam" indeed. Such a profound statement, conveying unfathomable depth of meaning with an economy of phrasing. Whereas Decartes reassured himself in his inability to question the reality of consciousness (Cogito Eggo Sum - I think, therefore I am a waffle), Popeye takes things a giant leap further by questioning nothing at all. He simply was, and no outside influence or greater understanding was going to change that.
Thank you Popeye, for granting me the power to tell those less enlightened than us to go shove it.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Nerdy.gif) contemplative
Current Music: Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells, Part Two
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February 9th, 2005
04:55 pm
Hey.
Hey. HEY.
Guess what? No really, guess.
Give up?
It is officially the year of the cock.
COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOOOOOO
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Surprised.gif) cocks
Current Music: Gordian Knot - Singing Deep Mountain
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January 6th, 2005
04:42 pm
WHY GOD WHY
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Trey Gunn Band - The Joy of Molybdenum
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November 4th, 2004
03:51 pm - Under the sea
I think I might have mentioned that I've been seeking a new job somewhat more seriously of late. One of the hazards of listing your resumé and contact information on an employment website is "job spam". I receive a regular dose of scam emails and job offers from fly-by-night sales companies, accompanied by amazing "get rich quick" tales. Today I received one such email, at first seemingly no different than any other. Closer inspection yielded a big surprise, however:
I am trying to reach you! I received your resume and would like to talk to you about a career with United American Insurance Company. My name is Brian Luke; I am a Unit Manager for our Charlotte, North Carolina office. We are a subsidiary of the Torchmark Corporation. Torchmark is a Forbes 2003 Platinum 400 company, and a member of the Standard & Poor’s Fortune 500.
(blah blah blah)
Four years ago I was an Account Executive with Nextel Communications in Pittsburgh, PA. I moved to Charlotte to be with my girlfriend at the time, which is now my wife. I worked mediocre hours as a waiter until my best friend shared this opportunity with me. I decided to take the courses for my insurance license and join the company. What a blessing! My income the first year almost tripled my Nextel and waitering job that year combined. Every year since I have seen a dramatic increase in my pay. Now I know people exaggerate when they speak about income but, that is the beauty about insurance sales. When you build and continually add on to your block of clients, your residual monthly check grows as well. I have also traveled to exotic locations with my wife such as Hawaii, Jamaica, Atlantis, San Francisco, and a Bahamas Cruise all at the company’s expense!
Whoa, hang on. Back up there a sec. Did he just say Atlantis? As in the legendary lost continent? What? I am so fucking sold on this job already.
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Derek Sherinian - Atlantis
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December 28th, 2003
05:41 pm - A Christmas Story
I attended a Christmas party with some friends of the family Friday night. Jim and Annise hosted, while Tina, Michael, Dave, Scott and our group were all to attend. When we arrived, the only partiers yet to arrive were Scott (who would be bringing his friend Mike) and Michael, who was working and would be coming directly to the party later and changing out of his uniform there.
Well shortly after we arrived, Bob received a buzz on his Nextel from Scott. Scott explained that he would be running a bit late but was surely on his way; seems he ran into a snag out on the road. When stuck behind a terminally slow motorist, Mike implored Scott to pass. Pass he did, not only the slow driver but also a patrol car turning onto the road from an intersection. As luck would have it, there was a conveniently located speed limit sign to inform Scott that the limit for this road was 35 mph. Glancing down at his speedometer, he found that his speed was 65.
Mike yelled at Scott to turn immediately, to which Scott had to point out that there wasn't a road to turn on to. So Scott turned onto the very next road he came to, made a u-turn, and passed the street he had been taking. Scott said that they would show up shortly, following an alternate route.
After the conversation, all had a good time talking smack about how foolish Scott's actions had been, and indeed how fortunate he was not to be in jail at the moment. Then somebody came to a very important realization:
Scott had never met Michael. We knew now what must be done.
Scott showed up with Mike in tow, and Jim popped in a disc from one of his Christmas gifts: a 5 season collection of Blackadder. Funny stuff, way better than Mr. Bean.
Perhaps 45 minutes or an hour later, there was a knock at the door, and Jim answered it. At the door stood a police officer, who requested to speak with the owner of the teal Civic parked outside. Apparently a car matching that description had been seen outrunning one of their officers, and there was an A.P.B. out for the vehicle.
Somewhat nervously, Scott rose and greeted the officer. He handed him his license, and answered his questions, denying everything. Mike slumped down in his chair and pulled his hat down over his face, staring forward with his eyes shifting from side to side frantically.
Finally, Michael looked at Scott and said, "Scott?"
"Yes?"
"They're fucking with you."
And the room that had barely been able to contain itself up till this point erupted into the most uproarious laughter I've heard in my life. Michael introduced himself to Scott and Mike and ducked into a bedroom, emerging later wearing a t-shirt that read:
How to escape a cop
1: run
2: hide
3: throw him a donut
Each option was illustrated by amusing stick figures acting out the various escape tactics.
I also saw Return of the King this weekend. Now, most people who know me know that I am not a big movie person - I don't like to go to theaters much, and I still haven't seen Matrix: Revolutions (spoil and perish). I'm also not a rabid fan of the Lord of the Rings movies - don't get me wrong, I think they're excellent and I enjoy watching them, but that's as far as it goes. I was in no way excited to see this movie.
That said, the movie was fucking badass. It's a bit awkward to recommend a movie without actually saying anything about it, but I don't want to ruin anything for those of us who haven't read the books. Just see it already, if you haven't yet.
One thing I can discuss are the advertisement trailers that ran prior to the movie. In addition to an insipid Mask sequel (Blockbuster dancing baby + The Mask? Does anyone watch this shit?), there was, well...this. After finally getting home (gosh, it was light outside when I entered the theater), I decided to check out the website mentioned in the advertisement. It's very professional and seemingly thorough, but I still wasn't convinced. Well, a registrar whois reveals that the domain is owned by none other than 20th Century Fox.
Now just what is Fox working at? One curious possibility, given their mention of "the three laws of robotics", may be a new movie based on the works of Isaac Asimov. The truth is probably less interesting, but it's fun to speculate.
In other news, my interest in the Hot Chick at Garden Ridge is threatening to develop into a full blown crush, if it hasn't already. I was hoping there'd be a New Year's celebration in the streets of uptown that I could invite her to (as there have been in years past), but I can't find any evidence of it. Phooey.
Oh, and I'm probably going to cut my hair.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Determined.gif) determined
Current Music: X Japan - Art of Life
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December 16th, 2003
06:12 pm - BARF!
I have no words.
Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: Rush - Between the Wheels
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November 23rd, 2003
10:56 am - YAR
Submitted for your approval - a #fefea brainstormed list of titles for a potential ROM database program:
Console ROM Auditing Program (CRAP)
The Universal ROM Database (TURD)
Fuck All ROM Kiddies (FARK)/Fuck Off, ROM Kiddies (FORK)
Fuck U Crappy Kiddies, Eat Rank Snatch (FUCKERS)
Database Of ROM Knowledge (DORK)
ROM Auditing Program Extraordinaire (RAPE)
Cowering's Underlings Need Tazers (CUNT)/Cowering's Underlings Need This ROM Auditing Goody (CUNTRAG)
Please Ernster, Need Intarweb Site/Powerful Efficient NES Instant Sorter (PENIS)
Yet Another ROMsorter/YAR Audits ROMs (recursive acronyms, oh my) (YAR!)
Goodtools Aren't YAR! (GAY)
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) foxhack's ROM Auditing Database (K-RAD)
Super Awesome ROM Sorter (SARS)
This is an Audited ROM Database ('TARD)
Fantastic Auditing ROM Tool (FART)
Even Retards Never Stop the Eternal ROMh (ERNSTER)
Current Mood: LOCK AND LOLL
Current Music: Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone
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