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April 11th, 2004

11:34 am I'm so tired of putting money into cars. My dealer is loaning me a 1993 Corolla whilst repairs are made on the 626. I figure the least of all possible evils will be just to suck it up and pay for the repairs, hoping that the damn thing will stay in one piece long enough to finish paying it off. As I was driving to work Friday morning, I noticed another vehicle coming into the neighborhood. The main road out has a wide curve to it, such that I couldn't see the oncoming truck - just its headlights. Coming around the corner, I couldn't see the road for the bright lights shining in my eyes. Not a problem, all I should have to do is stay to the right of the truck. It wasn't till I was almost on top of him that I realized he was DRIVING DOWN THE WRONG FUCKING SIDE OF THE ROAD. While I didn't run into him, I still didn't realize the situation soon enough to avoid the curb. I nailed a drainage grate, tearing a couple holes in the right front tire and scratching the rim a bit. Turns out the dork was delivering newspapers, and was apparently so lazy as to drive down the wrong side so he wouldn't have to throw so far. Ass. I walked back home to get Bob to give me a hand changing the tire, but neither of us could get the damned thing off. So, I put in a call to a local tow service for roadside assistance. I was told help would arrive within an hour. An hour and a half later, I called again and was put on hold for five minutes only to find that there wasn't anyone in the area, and it would be at least another 45 minutes before I could receive assistance. Thanks for letting me know! Appreciate that. By this time a group of carpenters had shown up for work at the house I was in front of, and thankfully one of them was gracious enough to help me get the tire off. Thanks dude. I wound up getting to work at 8:30. I got up at 3:30 for this. BLARGFF. Now I'm sitting around on friggin' Easter Sunday, wondering why all the service garages and tire dealers are closed. Why didn't I do this yesterday? Also, where is my gum? Oh, I left it in my shorts. The ones I threw in the washer. Great. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Gustav Holst - Neptune, the Mystic Tags: angst, cars, mazda

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March 9th, 2004

03:53 pm - This year blows I'm still using the folks' computer, and it's driving me nuts. If you have any comments on my computer issues mentioned in earlier posts, please speak up (or type up), no matter how insignificant you might think your advice is. My car is in the shop again. It died just short of getting to work on Saturday. I woke up at 3:30 AM to be there by 5 on my day off (I'm not even supposed to be here today!). I only wound up getting about an hour of work done, so I paid $65 for a tow so I could make ten bucks. So my head gasket is blown. The resulting pressure caused my radiator to suffer irreparable damage. At the very least, I'm looking at $207 to replace the head gasket and valve gasket, $347 for a new radiator, $22 for an oil change as this coolant leak has fucked my oil, $60 to flush and refill the coolant system and $450 for an estimated six hours' labor. The total for repairs is about half of what I still owe on the overpriced heap. I think my next resort will be to attempt to reason with my dealer. If I say to Hell with this car and let him take it back, he could either do so and fuck my credit, or make a deal with me on a new car and continue making money from me. I think that would be preferable to sinking over $1000 more into this car. Why is this year so awful already? Here's Smeg's 2004 year-so-far-in-review! The only dog I ever liked died. The folks have two new dogs; a St. Bernard mix that's a puppy, and a two year old Pomeranian with a terrible begging habit. Duncan was so fundamentally different I don't even know where to start. I fell in love to be let down. I'm not over Danielle in the slightest. In fact I still try, although I may not post about it much in here. Everything about her, every nuance or mannerism or expression makes me feel like I haven't in a long time, but she's almost certainly a chronic, pathological liar. This has gone far beyond the point of maintaining optimism in the face of doubt. She still never calls me, whether she tells me she will or if I call and get her voice mail. Yet every time I talk to her, she has some new story, some new drama, some new excuse and tells me she still wants to go out. I'm not going to let her turn me misogynist, but I'm still at the point where it's hard to imagine anyone else exciting me like she does. Garden Ridge filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and has closed eight stores and one warehouse so far. Work has taken a turn as we've started receiving double the usual amount of freight, as one warehouse has started shipping to us before the other has been emptied out, and we've also received freight for closed stores that's been redirected to ours. Coupled with the number of associates who have already found new employment (we're talking about people who made the job bearable), we just can't come close to managing it all. We have merchandise coming out our ears and I still have to try to find room to unload more every day. My computer is comatose. It's worked flawlessly for six months, and all the components should still be under warranty. It's still a pain in the ass to deal with, and I'm practically lost without the thing. My car has been in the shop three times now this year, and since August I've already put $700 into it on top of insurance, gas and payments. She has 135k miles on her and just isn't worth the upkeep anymore. I think it's time to put her out of her (my) misery. 2004, in short, blows. On a lighter note, I cut my hair (no pics till the computer works again). I'm still not quite satisfied with it, but I guess it looks OK. It's more rugged and less metro than I was aiming for, and I'm told the result is more Hugh Grant than Takumi Fujiwara. I don't know what to think of that, but as long as transvestites don't start hitting on me I guess it could be worse. I think some gel experimentation is in order. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Rick Wakeman - Minas Truth Tags: angst, cars, chicks, computers, danielle, employment, life, mazda

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December 2nd, 2003

06:58 pm - Rambles for Algernon My insatiable appetite for music is utterly paralyzing. I own somewhere in the neighborhood of 350 CDs and my hard drive contains no less than 30 GB of music in a varied array of formats. My list of wanted music is so long, I get lost going through it. All of this exponentially increases the difficulty in answering the question: what to listen to? Just now, I found myself simultaneously wishing to listen to music from the NES game Solstice and the PS game Star Ocean: The Second Story, as well as Van Halen, Pink Floyd, Rush and Pearl Jam. This creates a deadlock in which I usually wind up not selecting anything to listen to. (On top of all of that, somnium_ sent me a trove of diamonds and dirt to listen through, most of which remains untouched months later. I'll check it out someday. Honest.) Instead, I'm listening to the Rick Wakeman CD I just picked up. I honestly only bought it because I needed something fairly cheap to make my Amazon order qualify for free shipping, but it's not too shabby. It's titled "Songs of Middle Earth", and is an obvious attempt to cash in on the recent popularity of the Lord of the Rings. The album is actually a compilation of 100% non-new material, with all the track titles renamed to relate appropriately to LotR. I don't think the whole ploy was an idea of Mr. Wakeman's, as his website makes no mention of it. Shameful marketing tactics aside, the album is enjoyable. Fits right in with a playlist full of modern roleplaying video game music. I was completely expecting to turn this one out as soon as it came in, but now I think it warrants repeat listenings. Each time I take in the Pants Press Sketchblog, I find myself inspired and at the same time depressed. It's beautiful to see so much talent, but inevitably it leads me to ponder my own artistic dormancy. I couldn't tell you the last occasion I put any serious time or effort into making art. I fear my skills will atrophy as I grow less and less creative. And unfortunately, I see this same theme reflected in almost every aspect of my life. I've spent a relatively long period of time in an inarguably short-term job, and it has remained a monotonous routine. I don't know how much longer I'm willing to tolerate it, but at the same time I can't think of anything better right now. My skill as a musician, I would say, has not improved significantly in probably a couple of years. I have maintained my level at guitar and what little knowledge I possess of electronic music creation techniques, but I haven't learned anything really new in quite a while. Wait, consider that last thought: I haven't learned anything. No really. Not just in regards to music, but anything and everything. I honestly can't recall the last time I learned something. In fact, it often bothers me just how many things I've forgotten. Five years of math - three of algebra, two of geometry and all advanced classes - gone. I can't recall a single formula (well, Pythagoras doesn't count). That wouldn't affect me as much if I had taken the SAT five years ago when all of that information was still fresh. Now I need to relearn and refresh myself if I'm to take it before it's turned into a big essay fest in a little over a year. I've always been rather bad at writing (I say as I type this in my journal). I'm beginning to consider sleep deprivation as a serious possibility just to give myself time enough to do all that I want to during waking hours. I don't really like the idea, as sleep and dreaming have always been important to me. Yet at the same time I haven't been motivated to keep a dream journal, as much as the idea interests me. Ultimately, I believe that all of these issues are rooted in one major failing: a severe lack of discipline. I have no idea how to go about correcting that, but I've fancied the idea that training in a martial art may help develop discipline within other aspects of life for some time now. I think looking into that may be the vital first step in achieving long-term goals and changes. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Pink Floyd - Round and Around Tags: angst, music

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September 20th, 2003

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