Current mood:	sick
Current music:	Alan Parsons Project - I'd Rather be a Man

Fuck Valentine's Day
Man who's horrible idea for a holiday is this? All my dreams this past week have been dominated by...girly stuff. Like the other night, I dreamed I was in a happy relationship with a woman who looked exactly like Mila Kunis but who was not, in fact, Mila Kunis. Then the night after that, I almost got married till my bride revealed herself to be Matthew Perry in a very, very clever disguise. We had a laugh about it then joined the rest of the Friends cast in raiding an ice cream and donut shop after they were closed. The lesson here is: do not watch Fools Rush In. Ever.

In the spirit of today's occasion, here's a little something I scrounged up off my old hard drive. It was copied from the Primus Sucks forum of all places, and has a file creation date of 2/14/1999. The meter might be a little odd, but the sentiment is sincere:

"Fuck Valentines Day"

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of fucking shit
So here's my story, what else can I say?
Love sucks my dick...Fuck Valentines day!


I also found an IRC log full of helpful advice from the internet's own MickoZ, of which I found the following particularly relevant:

<MickoZ> you gotta pull it out, but be prepared.

<MickoZ> You gotta be sure that when you put it out, that you know what you are sayin'


A happy VD to all.