Laine

So im done with my LJ break. I finally decided that I missed it. I havent updated in like 2 months.. and the world has fallen apart and been re-built since then. This year it seems like all anyone does anymore is lie. Lies, lies, lies and even more damn lies. Someone really close to me has been lieing to me for about 2 weeks staight now. I would call them out on it.. but what would the point be? to cause more drama? no thanks. They know who they are and hopefully they know why theyre acting like they're 3. Becuase i'm at a loss. Someone else who was getting close to me, lied to to recently and ruined everything that was going.. and it WAS going really good. or so I thought, and honestly, im really disappointed, and I miss them.
I just look around and all my freinds are pissed off at someone else for lieing to them about god knows what. Whats wrong with everyone? why cant anyone just tell the fucking truth? the truth hurts a whole lot less then just being left to sit and wonder.

So yeah school started and weve got some new hotness runnin around. haha. Its so tempting. I want all of them and none of them at the same time. My prince charming isnt working out. Not so charming after 2 months. Anyways, im on the lookout and I wont be for much longer cuz theres a few that are high on my list. So get up on that.

So lately in everyones LJ all you read is drama. And it makes me think of all the drama ive been a part of, and the drama ive been the cause of. Well this year is going to be different, because now im different. No more talking about people, no more judging, no more stereo-types, no more. It's just so pointless becuase it doesnt matter how strong of a front someone puts up- when they hear someones talking about them- their feelings are hurt. Everytime, its inevitable, people get hurt from drama, and I dont want to hurt anyone, so im done. To everyone who ive ever hurt, and to the people ive been involed in drama with- sorry. Also, to all the people out there who think I hate them, or who ive fought with- just forget about it, my slates are clean, I hate nobody from this point on. So to those who think they cant talk to me becuase I dont like them, your wrong, im always here no matter how you feel about me or how you think I feel about you. How about moving on, huh?

So last nite someone who i've tried so hard to forget walked right back into my life. Someone who took my heart, soul, and affection and threw it away like nothing. Someone who i've spent hours thinking about, wondering if they think of me, what they're doing, and if they're happier now. Redemption is beyond my control now. I thought I was happier without them.. and truth be told. I am. This person was the one who taught me to build up walls, to shut other people out, and who foremost- taught me about who I was, and what I deserve. I'm all about second chances, but they had a million chances, and fucked all of them up. I'm not sure if i'm ready to make it a million-and-one chances. Not now- when there are others who haven't screwed things up- and who aren't going to anytime soon. But I cannot lie- I do still care.

Im pretty sure ive found my prince charming. Maybe im jinxing myself by saying it, or maybe its just time for me to be happy . But I am.. happier than ive been in so long. Its amazing how just one person can change your outlook on everything, they can change how you view life, others, and especially yourself. I love what hes done to me :)

Life.... lately its been pretty much.. fabulous. But ive got this inner dilema going on. At work- im around older people.. im talking ages 21 + and I get along with them ten thousand times better than anyone around here my age. Its getting difficult becuause I seem to be putting my freinds at the same standards as the people I work with- and when my freinds dont match up, I get frustrated and wonder why it is that they seem so much more.. well, simple. I just love being with people who have some kind of direction, who've been to hell and back and who arent dramatic, simplistic, overbearing, and immature. Its becoming a real problem, and im not looking forward to school at all becuase the people there hold nothing for me. Only a select few. Im so confused as to what it is that I need from others my age- becuase so far- ive seen nothing. Advice anyone?

So ive been workin my ass off lately.. but suddenly my work is completely over-staffed and im getting completely jipped on my hours. So im pretty sure im either gunna A. Find a second job B. find a new job and quit or C. shut up and be content with where im working now. But I really need the money- unlike all you lazy bitches who have mommy and daddy fork over the cash. hah. so im goin with option A.

Anyone got any ideas? commentttttt

God I love it when sex songs come on the radio cuz they just make you go crazy.. but then it sucks when theres no one good around to fix the problem with .. damn... oh well

Sooo..

Ive had my LJ for almost a year now- and I never really used it, so I decided to get back into the habbit and keep it updated (or at least try to). And nothing fabulous is happening at the time being- so im not gonna say anymore.