when your dog hears something and its ears go up and get all stiff
"What was that sound?"
"Idk, but Spike heard it too, he's got an ear boner."
An Alzheimer's Purchase is when you buy something online that takes so long to be delivered, you forgot you ordered it in the first place.
Girl: You like my necklace?
Boy: That's very nice! Where did it come from?
Girl: I bought it online, but it took so long to get here, I forgot about it.
Boy: Nice Alzheimer's Purchase!
Walking directly behind someone who is pushing through a crowd, to avoid having to push through the crowd yourself. Only works if you stay in the empty area directly behind the person in front of you. Usually done behind someone tall or buff.
Guy 1: "Dude, how did you get to class so fast?"
Guy 2: "I did some crowd slipstreaming behind that tall guy over there, it saved me a lot of time."
Cyber-sex. Online roleplaying mimicking sexual intercourse.
She wants to cyber with that loner
Hi! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and are back home safe, or at least you’re somewhere with cable.
This week I'm kicking off my 12 Days of Giveaways! It’s going to be the biggest one yet. Right now, all the boxes of prizes are stacked all over my living room. Portia and I made a fort.
If you want to be in my audience for one of the 12 Days of Giveaways, there’s still time to win tickets! Enter here.
That’s not the only gift I have for you this week -- Britney Spears is here! She’s starting a big show in Las Vegas! I’m glad she’s here, because I have lots of advice for her... for example, she should never split a pair of tens.
I’m also talking to The Sexiest Man Alive, Adam Levine! He’s here to tell me about his music and his hit show, "The Voice." At least that’s what I told him. Mostly I’m just gonna try to get him to take his shirt off.
If you’re in the mood for some holiday cheer, Kelly Clarkson is gonna perform a song from her new Christmas CD! She just announced that she has another special present that’s gonna arrive in about 9 months. Also, I hear she’s pregnant!
The very funny Ben Stiller is here to tell me about his new movie, “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty." He’s also working on a sequel to “Zoolander,” which I’m expecting he’ll call “Toolander."
My good friend Allison Janney is here to talk about her hilarious show “Mom," and we’re gonna play my favorite game, “Heads Up!” She’s ridiculously competitive. I remind her of that every time I beat her at a game.
Plus, I’ve got amazing performances from Gavin DeGraw, John Legend, and Bastille will sing their #1 hit, “Pompeii!”
This week, it’s time to get into the holiday spirit!
This week's Guests-
A group of people surround a lone person on the dancefloor and when appropriate begin twerking aggressively on the person in the middle. The tighter the circle during the twerk the better. It is typically performed during r & b or rap music.
Man how good was that Circle twerk last night.
Pedro looks sad and lonely, let's go give him a Circle twerk.
Long winded, boring, nauseating, uninteresting description of an event or the story of someone's life.
She went on and on about her breakup with Joe. It was difficult to endure the story vomit.
Bastardization of 'Thnx,' which is a bastardization of 'Thanx,' which is a bastardization of 'Thanks,' which is a bastardization of 'Thank You.'
<Biatch>: I killed your rabbit!