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.funeral · procession.
So many kind of flowers of sorrow, red and blue
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Holy fuck! Ho-ly fuck! As always, wonderful wonderful wonderful as always! Maaan, please come back soon again! And what a setlist! Faints. Seriously, I was smiling as a freakshow (yes, as The freakshow maybe) the whole time. Toshiya was too, and ho shit he looks so dorky and all, smiling and dancing (I think!? Hahaha naaaw). I hope they had a great time, they all seemed to be in a great mood! I sure had the time of my life. I sang 'til my lungs were diried out, I headbanged til my head was heavy as twenty bricks and I smiled until my mouth ran away. Kinda. No, but seriously. It was awesome. I can't write now, my computer is about to die on me. Nooo, flat line! It's too hot for my pretty lil computah. Imma skip away now, head in the clouds. Have to hurry. Bye~ <3 note:
They played Bugaboo! They played Stuck man! THEY PLAYED OBSCURE! THEY PLAYED THE FINAL! Okay, now I'm done.
Sorry for the happiness! Wiiiiiiie! |
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Hello world! Today is a good day! Those days have been coming more frequently lately, which is very very nice u_u I'm done w/ the education for the Gröna Lund job. Just a kick-off party next monday (I'm going to ride Insane like thousand of times!!!!) and then I'll start working. And it actually feels really good! I work at the waffle place down by the sea. I have thee most wonderful view ever, so it'll be okay, and I really like the girls I'll be working with! We're going to meet up before the kick-off :3 Yay, potential friends! Good for me! I've been stuck at the same old routines for far too long, so it's really really nice to meet some people! I'm sitting here at work (present work, not Grönan XD) w/ a coke in my hand, winamp on the compy and Dir en grey in my files! Ah, maaan, this is nice! And I still have this wonderful Paint project and it's sooo fun! Yay! Oh, I have to call Johanna know. I'm going to "work" (non-profit ^^) as a bartender at her big sisters superparty tomorrow :D I know that I'll think different in a few days, that maybe tomorrow won't be as shiny and sparkly and that this era will pass as always....
But I don't care! :D Today is a perfect day and I won't let anything ruin it! Hello Sunshine, Hello Spring, Hello beautiful World! Have a wonderful day and take care! <3
Current Mood: |
 happy | |
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Note to self:
Sluta överdriv saker. Jag får världens panikångest om jag och Sai bråkar ytte pytte typ. Det gör varken mig eller henne något gott. Så. Sluta med det, Sanna.
Starting: now |
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My cousin Simon's best friend died in a car accident two days ago. They had to make a hard turn in order to avoid hitting a deer, but the road was icy so they crashed into a tree. The other two in the car survived. He was only 17. I know that Simon is strong and that he'll get through this. One day he'll be able to look back on the time that has been with a smil on his face, remembering the good times. You can see in the way e writes his comments and the way he wrote the memorial thingy that he'll be okay eventually.
If it had been Sabin who had lost a close friend, I would worry that she'd kill herself. We're alot alike, Sabina and I. We like our privacy and long to be alone, yet we are addicted to the persons close to us and panic if one should go away. I don't know what I would have done if I lost someone really close. I really don't. I'm stronger than I were before, but that doesn't mean that I'm superstrong or anything. Ohwell. I miss my cousins. I miss my relatives. I miss my family.
My thoughts go out to anyone who was close to Fredrik or has lost someone close to them. My thoughts go out to Fredrik. I hope that he didn't suffer.
And I hope that he can feel at peace now. Rest in peace, Fredrik. |
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Sofðu unga ástin mín
úti regnið grætur.
Mamma geymir gullin þín
gamlan legg og völuskrín.
Við skulum ekki vaka um dimmar nætur.
Það er margt sem myrkrið veit
minn er hugur þrotinn.
oft ég svartan sandinn leit
svið og grænan engireit.
Í jöklinum hljóða dauðar djúpar sprungur.
Sofðu lengi sofðu rótt
seint mun best að vakna.
Mæðum kenna mun þér fljótt
meðan hallar degi skjótt.
Mennirnir elska, missa, gráta og sakna.
<3
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I feel lika SuperWoman! Woho! I changed the username on bilddagboken so that everyone can look at it w/o going through the trouble of creating an account :3 http://fetched.bilddagboken.se/yeah, soon going home to eat lunch w/ Sai ^_____^ bye~ |
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I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. Please don't go away, please don't take your own life. Live and be happy, she would have want you to. She loves you too. My heart goes out to you. |
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I'll be going to Gäddede (Jämtland) for ten days. Imma celebrate christmas w/ Sai's relatives.
Hope you all will get the best christmas ever!!!
lots of love |
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Because of Snefrid death, me and Sai spend the day home yesterday.
Sai's okay, as long as she doesn't think about her.
In a way, I'm relieved that she finally past on. She was very ill and even told Conny that she wanted to die. She was in constant pain.
If she would have been a dog, the vet would have put her down long ago.
She lied in the bed, not able to move, hardly able to breath and just waited for death to arrive.
She _wanted_ to die.
But ofcourse, that wasn't possible. It's illeagel in Norway (she lived in Norway, near the boarder to Jämtland).
Instead of falling asleep surrounded by the ones who love her, she died in agony - alone.
Karen went home the day before.
Does that sound right? Doesn't that sound fucked up?
I hope she wasn't scared. I hope she didn't suffer too much.
I've only met her once, but she made a huge impression of kindness, and she was the only one from the Andersson family who cared about Sai. They had a bound - just like I have with my cousin Sabina.
I hope that she found peace in death, and if there is something after this life (which I doubt, but if), I hope you can finaly rest with your family.
Much love
Sanna |
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Rest in peace Tante Snefrid<3 |
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Just a quickie, need to study and work. Deadlines: Tomorrow: Call my teacher and do le speech Thursday: Be done w/ this crappy homework thingie. it's 6 Word pages long, containing only questions about a stupid story -_-' But I'll do it u_u
And lend a book so that I can do the exam w/o having to surf the net for info. Need more time, but there is none. But it'll be fine. jez feeein As soon as my paycheck arrives: Send money to Sai's grandma, she has to go see the doctor. Poor thing, I wish I had more money to send her. And I wish she could live here in Sweden. And I wish her lazyass son-in-law would take his fucking responsibility. ASAP: Buy christmas gifts. Like now! Or my money will run out. Man, these past months I've been feeling more broke than usual. The end of this month: Send in applications for jobs. I need a new one. I need to stand on my own legs and I need to get better paid (note to self: call Johanna and ask her about her job) This time next year: Decorate my apartment for christmas u_u (meaning; get a friggin apartment for me and Sai) Yep, that'd be all for now...
Hope you all are feeling great! bye bye! <3 |
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Bye bye, I'm going away now, be back on friday!
<3 |
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First of all, happy birthday to Lis (i efterskott ^^)! I'm glad to hear to you had a nice bday, w/ the surprises and all :3 Dear holy chotes, I'm so tired.... tiiiiired!
Meh, I'm feeling a bit down, but that's probably just because I'm so darn tired today -_-'
It was really really fun to meet Johanna, Sandra and Gwenny last friday. I had such a great time (until that Idiot(!!!) started to mess things up... Sandra, how many times do I have to tell you... Get rid of the fucked up asshole men you've been datin lately!), but it went okay and Imma call her today to talk some more about it. And somethings up between Johanna and Manne... I'm not really sure of the thingy so Imma shut up about that.
First we went to a lil comfty irish pub called Molly Malone (I think...), and then we went to GRILL (love!!! omg, I gotta go back there!) and when it closed around 1am we went to Harry B James u_u
Then we went to the only place thats worth a visit in Stockholm. Kebabkungen. Cheap, rude but heavenly good (especially if your abit pissed by beer and drinks u_u)
Next day (saturday) me and Sai just chilled at home (at my place) and ate delicious food and watched some TV. Very comfty, haven't had time for that in a while :3 Eventhough there wasn't much magic and all on the Saturday (my bday), it still was a very good day. I was w/ my parents and Sai and I got a new cell phone from mom and dad! Mine is really really Totally messed up, so I was rather happyyyy! Haven't got it yet, but Imma order it soon. It's a Samsung (tired of Nokia and Sony ericsson) f480. The pink on of course, but hey... And guess what! Imma be at the techical fair tomorrow! *________* That'll be soooo much fun! Dont have to sit here at work! yay! Here I'll be if anyone by some weird chanse would be there aswell
http://www.tekniskamassan.se/
We will have a pretty booth and everything (I'm working at Visionteknik, so if anyone (doubt that though, it's not as funny as I make it sound over there) visits the fair, say hellooooooo!) Gotta study now, waaaay behind schedule. Maybe I'll just drop out of the jap course and start that again after christmas. I'll decide by the end of the week. Okay, have a super nice day hun's!!! <3
Current Mood: |
 drained | |
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.I'm afraid I'm relapsing.
.I can't move on.
.I'm too weak.
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So.... I get up. Go to work (have to get up at 6am, leave home at 7 and am at work by 8). After work (ends 5 pm) I might workout at SATS (you heard me, I _workout_. you go girl. or sumthin) or I might be too tired. I feel good when I'm at the gym though, it's fun. But usually I have an headache/ pain in ze tummy/ pain in the back/ INSERT ILLNESS. Or I'm too tired. So I start the journey home. Get home. Say hello to Sai's mom and Sara's dad. Clean. Help w/ the dishes and everything else. She's wearing me down. Spend minimum amount of time w/ Sai (we really need our upcoming vacation) and then hurry to bed. Hurry to sleep. Or else I will feel shit tired tomorrow again. And I think I need another visit to the doctor. I think that I might be seriously ill. My tummy and head hurts every fucking day. I haven't seen my friends in forever. Really. So they kinda abandoned me. Can see why. I haven't been the best friend. Even got tattoos w/o me. Matching tattoos. Ohwell ohwell. I called Johanna and asked if she wanted to meet this weekend (when Sai's at work, after that I have to fix my room and try to cheer up mom). She sounded kinda happy that I called, guess that's a good sign. Sorry for the crappy entry... I'm just so exhausted (sp?) and feel really shitty. And soon Imma start school (well, komvux) again. What the fuck was I thinking?! How am I gonna have time for that?! And I have to study, I've forgotten almost half of my japanese. blech. Ohwell, it'll be fina. jez fein. ohwell.
Gotta phone dad now, I don't think I can make it home alone today.
The pain in seriously too fucking assholey.
Made-up word.
Great for you Sanna.
Who are you anyway? NICE DAY EVER DAY SAME DAY HELLO DAY BYE BYE DAY |
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I'm back from Läppe.
Man, I love it there!!!
Waaah it was nice to e away for a moment <3
but my foot hurts. like really bad. if it's not okay in a couple of days, imma have to go see the doc. and that costs.. but then i could get some more meds, 'cause i really need them. for the blood preassure (sp? too tired to look up)
maybe i should fix so that my journal is friends only. i hardly ever post open entries anyway... ohwell, i'll decide later...
gotta continue w/ work now. bai bai bunnies! <3 |
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eeey! sawadee kaaaaaaaaah! I'm in Thailand now... Fuck, I don't wanna go home. But I'll come back soon enough. :) Short: It's hella warm, Pa'Tio makes the best food ever, thai-grandma is the sweetest lil thing in the whole world and sai is the best of all! :D bwahaha Seriously, I love it here and I don't wanna go home ._. And I've been trying to find DeathNote but they don't have english subs... I've been searching everywhere! But ohwell, I've found alot of other lil beauties. gotta go, hope everybody's feelin great!
<3
bye huns and buns! |
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Okay hun's and-- bun's (eh?) I'm going to Thailand on Sunday. I'm starting to get nervous.. What if grandma P'Djeo and NongAom doesn't like meee ;_; And and maybe Pa'tdoi and LongVera will kick us out for being gay ;_; It's not like we're gonna have sex or make out infront of them, but you know, I call Sai Tiruk (tirakk) which means like Honey or Darling (älskling!) and and I don't know, everyone else says that Sai should try a man ._. Or atleast all the thai women in Sweden are telling her that... except for Joy <3 Argh! No, it'll be fine.... Jeeez faaan (just fine) Argh, I need to pack Othello! Okay, sooooo! The point plz... Yesh, if anyone would want to have aaanything that I can get in Thailand (except too heavy stuff of course), like cd's, movies, manga in thai (i tried to find english last time but no no), hello kitty/other cute things - just let me know and I'll try to get it for you. They had a lil jrock store in Bangkok but I've heard that it has closed so... dunno... Have to go and take a shower, watch some Army of Darkness (love, ppl, Evil Dead is pure love) and then start pack and fix the laundry If I don't hear from you before I go, then have the best time ever and and all :3
<3 |
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Hey hun's!
I'm working right now (well, no, I'm writing here, but i SHOULD be working XD) and dear lawd, I'm so tired ._.
I took yesterday off to get some stuffs fixed... like new ID, new bankcard and internet bank and stuff... I came home with internet bank thingy and a shirt >_> a lovely shirt though! Gotta love Gina Tricot!
Anyways, came home and took Peggy (a wonderful border collie (sp?) that Sai and I are taking care of the next 3 weeks) for a walk. She's a real beauty and she's so nice O_O I mean, extreamly nice u_u and she can't sleep if she doesn't sleep next to Sai and me in the bed XD Cutie pie!!
I'm too stressed out to even have time to think about things, so I guess that's good 'cause I'm feeling rather good now...
oops g2g |
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Jag sitter här o gråter på golvet (jag städar så stolen är upptagen av grejer) och gråter som en liten bäbis.
Jag läste nyss min brorsas dagbok på helgon. Att vi kunde vara så lika.
Jag vet att vi är lika till sättet men...
Jag har alltid sett upp till Tim. Vi brukade lira gitarr, titta på Oz eller South Park på datan tillsammans, små saker som jag uppskattade jätte mkt. Vi har aldrig någonsin sagt något som kan tas som att man uppskattar den andre. Jag älskar min brorsa och han är världens bästa - det har jag alltid gjort. Men aldrig sagt nåt. Aldrig en kram - ingenting. Vi är inte såna, vi är inte så öppna.
Och titta vad han hade skrivit i sin dagbok :) Det var från 2005, då han fortfarande bodde hemma.
"var kul att läsa i systerns db att hon tyckte att det var så kul när jag och michelle var hos oss, att hon tyckte det var kul överhuvudtaget =)
ska säga att det faktiskt är roligt att sitta och kolla Oz med dig, eller lira lite gitarr ;)
du måste höra nya moonsorrow btw, ujujuj! Micha, Du oxå =)"
(michelle, eller micha som hon kallas är tims sambo)
Bara en sån sak, sånt har han aldrig sagt förut. och jag blev så glad.
jag älskar min bror - han är världens bästa storebrorsa :D |
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