Oolong · Tears

I strongly dislike sentences that start with "we are nothing more than...": they are hypocritical.

In a way, they are saying, "there is nothing more to it than the facts: what I believe doesn't matter" -- and simultaneously saying "this is what I believe."

Or, arbitrary judgments of worthiness based on numbers.

Something so amazing that even being a tiny part of it makes you happy. Why expect anything more than that? Why should my egotistical greed be the tool by which I measure the meaning of life? Life is only meaningful if my role in it is more than x% of the total role of the universe? This makes no sense.

Put differently -- would it be better if, instead of a mind-bogglingly enormous universe, the only thing in existence was the Earth? Or if, instead of the billions of people on Earth, you were the only person in existence? Would this really make you matter more somehow? Life is so much more meaningful now that nothing else exists except for me! Do I matter in the great scheme of things? I am the great scheme of things!

we are the universe, and if we and the animals and the plants and all life have a purpose, to live and survive and prosper, then the universe has a purpose. and as life's consciousness we can tell what is good and bad, what is high quality and low quality, what is amazing and horrible, so we have both the senses and the tools (science) to take the universe in the direction we want. and perhaps this is happening without us being aware of it or accepting it or not. but even to reject it one would have to contradict himself, because every particle and atom of his mind is part of the universe which he rejects, so that the very act of rejection is part of that which is rejected. and the potential of the universe is endless and infinite. perhaps as an individual i am cut off from predicting what will happen when that complex being comes into existence, compared to whom i am like an amoeba. but what of it? i dont need this knowledge to know that the substance of which i am made is part of the life and conscious-joy of the universe, and that it seems to be moving in a certain direction, and my moving against it will not serve any purpose. yes, and perhaps i do not matter in the great scheme of things, and it doesnt really affect much of reality if i choose to do "evil" rather than "good," and vice versa, but this is beside the point! i am simply a small instance of that great movement that is the conscious part of the universe, and my decisions in life are my personal problem. as long as i and all other life are not disconnected from what we are made of, and not moving against it and slowing it down, my personal choices don't matter so much, and the universe will be fine. i suppose this gives us excuse to do "evil" because there is no personal punishment or accountability provided in most religions. but if we know what and who we are and where we must go, why would we do "evil"? it would be a self-contradiction and would not serve anything in existence. in religions we are given the "devil" to serve, but serving this is like a disease, a tumor in the brain, using its own cells to destroy itself. and if i am asked, how do i know what and who i am and where i must go, and how do i know that my sense of "amazing" and "good" is not completely arbitrary and purposeless, the answer is i don't, but i am simply trusting my instinct, which is what you are doing when you ask the "how do you know" question in the first place, when you seek the truth, so that you can be sure of reality and not live in denial the way a religious person might. you are seeking the truth with science because you want to live and survive and prosper, because you care, because you think that living in denial is not amazing, in fact it is quite horrible.

what we take interest in is not survival in itself, but the direction in which we move if we do happen to survive. we judge a composer not by his hearing ability, but by the work he produces.

I just made a favicon and remembered how awesome Inkscape is. [Coming up: Le Fabuleux Portfolio de Sezgi!]

Here is Inkscape. And here is a review of a few major open-source downloads.

i am kind of tired of seeing it all over the internet. it is not news any more. it's people taking a piece of sensational news and prying into the tiniest details with an obssessive curiosity, perhaps because they are somehow fascinated by someone else's suffering. it's like stopping in the middle of the road to look at an accident, looking at the crying helpless woman by the car, looking at the corpses, as if looking at these scenes adds anything whatsoever to your life other than satisfying some primitive urge - and blocking the traffic.

this kind of thing happens way too often these days. i see it as a social function (maybe something like sharing agony with others to alleviate it) taken out of context and extended way beyond its limits to encompass people whose lives you have no idea about. they could be the stranger you swear at in that other car. nationalism is kind of related to all of this.

"<font size="2" face="Arial">Does it mean, for ex­am­ple, that rats are “con­scious,” and could that al­so be true of oth­er non-pri­ma­tes? Fu­ture re­search could clar­i­fy that, Crys­tal and Foote said."

We don't even know what is being clarified in the first place. How can your answer be scientific, if your question isn't. Geez.

In order to be inspired, you have to really get into something. You can't just sit there and wait for the motivation to come out of nowhere. You have to start being involved first. It may seem obvious but it really isn't. Especially when you have 5 papers to write (3 done, so trust me).

My theory is that the energy that people try to operate by in every day life is rather superficial, so people get worn out very easily. There is a much deeper source you can tap into that in most adults is asleep most of the time. I dont know why this is the case. Maybe something about modern culture, about being an "adult," actively suppresses it.

A good example is when you think you are very tired, but then you have to run or something, and suddenly there is all this fresh energy unleashed in you that you didnt know was there before. I'm sure there is an explanation, but regardless of that, being aware of this makes a big difference.

(Or rather, I'm sure there is a more precise way of describing what I'm getting at, or a better metaphor for it, but that all seems irrelevant for now)

What is more worthy of mentioning is how monstrous and powerful this awakening can be. But that just makes me sound like a weirdo.