I took that razorblade and jammed it into my wrist. Phill saw it, his reactions went quick, and he took the razorblade from me and threw it in my closet. I started crying and he just looked at the cut. It was deep, and it was bleeding pretty bad. I stood up to go get some toilet paper, the blood leaking down and dripping off of my fingertip. He ran into the bathroom, got some toilet paper, and put it onto the cut, applying pressure. Oh yes, how fun! I had to explain to him why I did it... Just, fuck... There's so much I told him. After the bleeding stopped, we just talked about it all. Y'know, it's really hard to be happy when you're bouncing off of the walls, and the one who means the world to you is still fucking depressed after all that you've tried... I feel like giving up a lot.
I really do mask how I feel. If I'm happy, do I say anything? No. If I'm sad, do I say anything? Sometimes. If I'm angry, do I say anything? Yeah. If I'm proud, do I say anything? Do I take the time to tell the people I love that I love and care for them? No.
Then I have Frank wanting to push me to talk to Nikki, though we all know that she's gonna' make up some shit to break me. You know, I know Phill doesn't like hearing about this, or talking about it, but shit.. It knocked down some of my trust in him, and now I'm worried that I'm going to give him all of my hope and love, and he's going to turn around and dump me.
I'm fucking tired. I think I'll just wake up two hours later after I eat, and work on my project.
You keep it copecetic
And you learn to accept it
You know you're so pathetic
[ Copecetic ]