|
[23 Nov 2007|02:17pm] |
will you still love me in the morning?
[i kept saying no, i'm not, i'm not]
i'm not.
feels like holding my breath
feels like sleeping until it won't hurt
feels like failing at the one thing i was good at
feels like i gave up the wrong addiction
|
|
|
[11 Nov 2007|02:35pm] |
life is so full of complicated emotions lately.
i keep thinking, "well on the one hand, i am so lucky to have this beautiful girl in my life, even if i am not the center of her universe. but on the other hand, well i also have this amazing boy and i am leaving this girl soon so why should i even bother to get my heart broken?" and all i keep thinking and feeling is eventual heartbreak and bittersweet everything.
i guess I'm just really frustrated that everything i've been waiting for is all happening at once and conflicting and making it difficult for me to enjoy it all fully.
|
|
|
[05 Nov 2007|11:04am] |
i want to write you love letters and stand in your backyard,
just outside your bedroom window and sing to you
(and you can giggle because i'm not tone-deaf, but i am a terrible singer anyway)
i want to play romeo and juliet, i want to be able to sweep you off your feet;
to slay your dragons and save you from the evil witch.
i want to save you. i need you, save me too.
i half-remembered late night texts when i woke up this morning.
and when i read them my cheeks got hot like friday night.
and i smiled a little more because i miss you and i love you.
and for once in my whole life i am not scared of what that could mean.
you're beautiful. you're beautiful.
|
|
|
[28 Oct 2007|03:44pm] |
do you ever feel like you need to be somewhere other than where you are but wherever you go, it's just not the right place?
you want alone time but it's too lonely but everything everyone does gets on your nerves?
you feel like you want to cry but you can't find one single reason good enough to justify your crying, in turn making you want to cry more?
you want to to write but not a single sentence you think makes sense and not a single word is beautiful enough?
i'm a contradiction.
i want to move; having no friends makes me want to even more vs. i'm going to be homesick and missing people that i pretend like me more than they actually do.
i want to go to school and get a career, not a job vs. i want to stay home and make art and love and be a housewife.
i am so in love with the boy of my dreams and i couldn't imagine myself with anyone else vs. i hate myself and my life (currently, not in the future) and everything that i am surrounded by SO much that i want to die every second i am alive.
this isn't eloquent or clever or thought provoking or heartwarming. these are the thoughts swirling around in my brain 24 hours a day and all i want is for it to stop and to finally breathe.
|
|
|
[21 Oct 2007|08:05pm] |
(i could have been a trapeze swinger)
built in safety net
i'm falling in love with you, balloons or no balloons
except you're terrible and you make me hate you
and you make me feel worse for almostloving
i traced artificial flaws in dotted lines over your shape
i can swing the trapeze with my eyes closed
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
seafoam_'s journal