so jan 29 i find out what we are having!!!! im so excited!!! and for the first time my morning sickness is like nothing!!! i have only had a couple days where i have had really bad morning sickness. anyway...Thanksgiving was great! we had it here. Matt cooked everything. food was awesome! Matts parents and sisters came. we all has such a wonderful time. last sat. we put up the tree, my nephews basically put on all the decorations. they had so much fun. well just wanted to make a little update. hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

ok so its been 10 weeks now. i guess i really dont write anymore..i should but i dont. well Abraham will be 6 months in nov. He is doing his firsts...hes rolling over, kinda scooting around. he trys to stand on your legs, but his back isnt very strong yet, but hes working on it hes trying to do sit-ups now. Elijah is such a big boy, he is doing big boy things. It so wonderful to just watfch him. He is a character. We have moved from the apt in Dublin and we are now living in our house in canal. i love it! God has blessed us so much these past couple years! God is good! Well He has blessed us again. i believe im pregnant again. im like 99% sure. but i have my obgyn appts. the first week of nov. im so excited!

in other news my sister colleen, has left her family. Timmy and all 4 kids are living at my grams. Colleen left and moved in with 2 guys in a one br. apt. then they couldnt afford the water or electric. so the lasat i heard she was living in a hotel room, the hotel by the Fort Rapids place(shes not lving at forst rapids but there is another hotel next to it.) I have no proof exactly but i beieve she is way in over her head with drugs. and not just her rx drugs either, so who knows what she is doing, or who she is doing or how she is doing it. it upsets me that she is doing this, but she is lost in her sin and thats all she cares about is her drugs and herself. Jordan i think is taking is the worst..he has started lying pretty bad(just like his mother). He is lying about every little thing. things that dont even matter. Austen basically stays in his room at grams and rarly comes down. teh twins well they are 3..so they know mom is gone..but i really dont think they were close to her to begin with. my dad, is involved with a known heroin, possibly(heard from timmy)a prostitute named Becky that is my age. actually i think she is a year younger. and i have a sneaking suspision that she is living at grams also. So i have basically stoped going over there. Jordan and Austen have been comming to my house(until last week when Timym told Jordan he wasnt going over here because he got all "F"s and hes been lying about it and his school work all year) since we've moved in. I have always loved going over to my grams and spending time with my family. but we have become separated. no one goes over to my grams because of my dad and colleen. and i dont want my boys around those drugs and that terrible atmosphere. My other grams she is moving to chilachothy(sp?) by my her nephew Bob and its about 20 mins away from my oldest sister Peggy. so with losing my family God has given me another through my chruch. I love my church family, i think i am closer with them than i have ever been with my own family.

well, i need to make a few calls. so maybe i will update again soon. maybe not. we'll see :)

i have not written on here in well its says 18 weeks. Abraham is almost 3 months old now. I still havnt got him figured out. Half the time i dont know what is wrong when he crys, i just try eerything i know and pray that something works. Elijah is a handful. He is growing up so fast. This week im noticing that this must be the time where you have to start putting your foot down. now he definatly knows what he is alowed to do and not alowed to do. I love being a mommy, it definatly is a full time job, 24/7, never stops. I have realized that I need to keep praying and rely on God for help. If being a mommy has done anything for me it has showed me God is definatly in control of your life. It always keeps you in check and you become more humble than you ever have been before. All those little things in life ago away, they dont matter anymore.

ok ashley its your turn to have fun lol.

we are thinking Isaiah but we dont have a middle name....we basicly settled on Isaiah cause we couldnt find another name we liked and both agreed on. anyway....so how bout a little of middle names that go with Isaiah??

38 days til my "due date" now whether this boy come early or late i dont know...i would like him to coem early..but on the other hand i loved that Elijah came late and they scheduled me. that was really nice. i didnt have to worry about oh no when is my water going to break? if all this happenes and its in the middle of traffic and we have to drive all the way to mt carmel east, or if matt is at work and i cant get a hold of him ect... cause during the day its just me and Elijah and i cant drive cause i cant fit behind the wheel. i can but i cant reach the peddels, thats the problem you have when you arent even 5 ft. and you have this humungo belly lol. anyway...i guess we will find out in a month...

i dunno i think i am so ready for this baby to come out, i cant do anything anymore, the dr told me not to pick up Elijah(yea right) because of all the pain i was having and i was noticing "contractions". i can barely bend over to pick stuff up, its insane...i have been really emotional about this stuff. everything just sets me off. i either get upset or i cry, mostly i cry. and i have no energy anymore. i am always tired. but i guess thats what you go through when you are having a kid(and chasing a 1 year old).

well i need a nap and something to eat..lol so i guess i will stop ranting for now.

ok so it says that its been 25 weeks since ive written. thats a long time lol. and the other day ashley said that i never get on lj anymore, so i figured hey why not update a little bit.

so since June! wow that was a long time ago...lol Elijah is 10 months old now. He is a wonderful baby. We are so blessed to have him. We are in Dublin now(which i think i was in Dublin when i wrote last, but still.) We are looking for other places to live, nothing is set in stone, cause we just started talking about it like this week.

I am pregnant again, i am due in may(again). May 12 to be exact. It is a boy. We do not have a name yet. it so hard to come up with names when there are alot of boys in your family. This pregnancy has been going well. i have been having ALOT of back pain though, so i have been told not to do anything, and "try" not to lift Elijah. well, thats impossible not to lift him since hes still a baby, but i have limited myself, because when i do life him, my back goes crazy and i almost drop him, so yea.

My grams is doing very well. She is still in a wheel chair but she is still doing therapy, and can walk with her walker across the living room, and down the hallway. so her strength is coming back which is awesome.

We have been taking Jordan(my nephew) to church with us. He is enjoying it and learning alot about God. He even made a profession of faith a couple weeks ago. We were in the car and he asked matt how people get saved. so matt went through it(again, cause we have been telling him the gospel for 2 years. so it was nothing really new to him.) And Jordan prayed and repented in the car on the way home from church. We were taking his brother Austin, but he kinda got out of it and didnt want to go anymore(he wants to stay home and play video games and watch movies instead). except for Weds. when we have AWANA.

well i think im going to get some ice cream, that sounds really yummy. so i will try to update soon. :)

ok well it has been a really long time. i had my baby boy. he was 6 lbs 3 ounces. he is such a blessing. things have been going great. hes growing so much. i have picture at my myspace. we had VBS last week. we got to take Jordan and Austen, they loved it. im glad we got the oppertunity to take them.

grams is getting better she is in a rehab place. shes getting stronger each day. shes just depressed cause shes been in the hospital since like april and now shes in this rehab place.

on mon. i had another attack. so i went to the hospital mon and on weds. i had an emergency gallbladder surgery done. so now i have to recover from that. and let me tell you. it is not a walk in the park. i dont know about anyone else, but i was(still am) in so much pain the same day. how is this an out patient surgery? it hurts like crap! i could barely walk! so i stayed overnight cause there was no way i couldve gone home. maybe im a wimp or maybe i wasnt fully recovered from having Elijah. but i am so happy to be done with this gallbladder thing. matt has been so awesome thriugh all of this. hes taken care of Elijah all week by humself and has also making sure im ok. what a wonderful guy i have.

just an update. well my grams is getting worse. she is getting pneumonia and is non responsive. she is "sleeping" but not in acoma. and she is still on a ventilator of course.

so the pst 2 weeks have be really really long. my grams has been in the hospital. shes been on then off then on again the ventilator. she just cant seem to breathe well by herself. she took it out herself last time so this time they straped her arms down this time. todat the dr. said shes looking better but still not out of the woods. they're is some kind of virus that is attacking her heart and lungs. so they are trying t keep her as comfortable as possible, but its not so easy. its a day to day thing. last night she has a 102 fever from the virus and today it went away and shes a little better. very stressful for me to see her in this situation and so miserable.

i went to my dr.s today and she said she could def. see me having the baby before may. so its really close!!

and the other day i went to teh shelters webpage and my mickey has finally been adopted!! :) yay!

so i went to the dr. today. i didnt gain any weight, still the same as i was 3 weeks ago. but she said that the baby is growing cause my belly is bigger. so thats good sign. she took like 3 or 4 tests so i should hear the results in the next couple days. hopefully they come out good.

we have moved and we are getting settled. matt hs done an awesome job, hes done everything since i cant lift or move heavy things. its finally starting to look like an apt. 95% of the boxes are put away. the living room looks like a living room. the baby room well, eh...its getting there. our room is ok, we just have alot of clothes that we have to put away or deside to throw out. but im excited to be here, there is more space i feel really good, the baby will be here within the next month and its like we are starting new with everything. its such a great feeling.

i think thats about it for now...im kinda tired so i really cant think of anything else to say... so until later...

today the pastor was talking about well alot of things. but one of the things he was talking about was how we dont rejoice in the Lord when things are going "badly" for us. and honestly..hes right...its hard to thank God and rejoice in Him when someone dies or you lost your job. but we should do it, thats what the Bible says to do. like right now we are really tight on money..and all i can think about it is the baby and things we still have to get ect..and bills that will be coming. but i shouldnt worrying about that stuff. i should be rejoicing the Lord and thanking him for what we have. we are able to move into a bigger apt. for the baby. and we are having a baby! that is the best blessing ever! sure we need other things but do we really NEED them. no not really we can make do with what God has given us already which is more than enough. God is always taking care of us, even when we think our lives crappy and nothing is going our way...give all your burdens to Him. TRUST God to help you.

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4

this week i have not been feeling well at all. by lower back has been killing me. if im not moving im fine but once i move even the slightest bit it hurts really bad. and yesterday i started to feel alot of little pain in my stomach and in lower part of my stomach..kinda like pressure but not..kinda like im about to start my period or something..its mild but i can still tell its there..so tomorrow when i go to the dr. im going to let her know about that. and since the baby is getting bigger hes moved up more and now right under my ribs so that hurts also. plus its hard to just breathe in general, since hes up there pushing my lungs. takes alot of energy. all this in less than a week..its only weds. so yea not a good week for me. hopefully it will get better. cause i still got 2 months..exactly actually since its the 5th today, so 2 months plus..to whenever he desides to come out. and to add on to everything i have been very hormonal this week. and i feel bad cause i take it out on matt, and i know i shouldnt but hes there and i have no one else to yell at. all it stems from that im having a harder time doing things, like getting the clothes out of the washer..i cant bend over and get to the bottom wihthout a fight. and i cant just walk around places cause i get out of breath and have to rest or im having pains so i have to walk really slow...basically im having problems doing whatn i normally do and its makes me upset that i can even get up out of bed or the couch with out doing it "normally". well enough of my complaining...thats all thats on my mind right now..plus the packing and moving we still have to do...so much stuff...

i know i havnt updated in like almost a month but i just havnt really felt like it. so now i am, heres the update..

~had a dr. app. last thursday the 21st. everything is going well. my belly is growing fine, i gained 2 lbs since the last time i went. i had my rhogam shot(the rh neg. blood thing) so im good to go. i have another app. on the 6th of march. i think its to see if im still anemic or not. then on the 14(which is a friday) i have another app. and its an ultra sound! YAY! cant wait. i love seeing my baby on that monitor its so neat.

~the 15th my in laws(sisters and mom) are throwing me a little baby shower at their church in dresden. and sometime soon im supposed to have another baby shower i think from the ladies at my church, but i havnt heard anything on that, so thats up in the air.

~we are moving on the 21st back to dublin. and we havnt even started. but tommorrow our plan is to get stuff from walmart come back here start packing as much as possible. since matt doesnt have enough time during the week and i cant do that much. and weekends we are busy with other things that are going on. that leaves fridays and there are only 3 including the 21st there are 4 fridays that we have. but we want everything done before the 21st. cause matt gets home at 815 am, jason will prolly be here around 9 or 10 then they'll move everything, and we want everything already packed up and ready to just move on the truck. so in reality we have 3 fridays. after jason helps us move, matt is going to help jason move his stuff, and i will be at the new apt. trying to unpack what i can. then later we are heading back here to clean the carpet and the rest of the apt that we havnt got to.

~the 22nd the day after we move is my 5th year ann. which is our day of rest and we are not doing anything except want we want to do, and its a day of just me and matt, no one else(besides baby in my belly).

well i had a doctors appointment last thursday, i wrote about it on the babys site but i'll repost the dr. visit part here. the dr. visit:

i went to the doctors last thursday and i had my glucose test done and blood taken for RH negative problem. it went well, the "flat pop" they make you drink wasnt too bad until the end where i was about to gag, but i thought it would be worse so i was happy. the next day the nurse called me for my test results and my sugar is fine, i DO have to take those shots to help with being RH negative and so will the baby when he comes. but thats ok. they also said that i am a little bit anemic. which explains why i have been so tired and dizzy lately. so im going to have to go to the store and but iron supplements. i also have lost weight from the diet im on. which the doctor doesnt like but its either no fat or practically no fat diet or a gallbladder surgery while im pregnant and i dont want that. so in a month and a half or so i will have another ultra sound to see how well the baby is growing. though she(the doctor) is happy that my belly is growing very well so thats a good sign. all in all it was a good report, i have a few things i need to work on. but at least i dont have to go into surgery yet.

so i have had a pretty hard couple weeks, my emotions were really high and low. its like you can feel these emotions but you cant do anything about them, like you are outside of your body and you're trying to tell yourself its ok. but of course you end up crying anyway. pregnancy is fun. :) last monday we took mickey to the pound, we tried to find a home for him but no one wants a dog that has a history of biting i guess, cause we kept asking around and no answered. so whether he is still alive or not i dont know. so that was really hard and couldnt stop crying for a while, which normal im sure i wouldve cried but not that much. cause by thursday i was like whatever..well wednesday i was fine too until i got into the car and it had been the first time i was in the car since matt took mickey to the pound. yea that was just my pregnancy emotions cause i felt fine but i couldnt stop crying. lol then the pastor asked me at church how i was and i said ok, and he knew something was wrong so he kept asking and i broke down in front of him, which was soooo embarrassing but what can a pregnant lady do? i have no control over my emotions anymore lol. on top of losing mickey i have not been sleeping well at all i wake up prolly every hour or so.

so i have not had a good couple of weeks. but after my appointment, matt surprised me with this really cute card and a bracelet to try to cheer me up (it cheered me up a little). matt has been sooo patient with me through everything this month. it has been a roller coaster ride for me with going into the hospital with the gallbladder attack and having to be put on a really strict diet, pregnancy highs and lows, my stomach is big enough now to where i have been having back and stomach problems, mickey, trying to find an apt. to move into in march, ugg so many things in such a short period of time. but he has been there trying to help, i would prolly be a mess without him. God has blessed me a wonderful guy.

I believe
In six days and a rest
God is good
I do confess
I believe
In Adam and Eve
In a tree and a garden
In a snake and a thief

Chorus:
I believe, I believe
I believe in the Word of God
I believe, I believe
'Cause He made me believe

I believe Noah
Built an ark of wood
120 years
No one understood
I believe Elijah never died
Called fire from heaven
On a mountainside

Chorus
I believe, I believe
I believe in the Word of God
I believe, I believe
'Cause He made me believe

It's been passed down through ages of time
Written by hands of men
Inspired by the Lord
His Word will remain to the end
I believe Isaiah
Was a prophet of old
The Lamb was slain
Just as he foretold
I believe Jesus
Was the Word made man
And He died for my sins
And He rose again

Chorus
I believe, I believe
I believe in the Word of God
I believe, I believe
'Cause He made me believe

so i was looking though friends on a site and i saw one of my friends had put down athiest as their religion. and it really made me sad. i never had talked religion i guess to said person. we were friends in high school. and now i dont know what to do. well i do knwo what to do..witness to her..but i dont know really how to do about it. im praying for this person and dont know how to go about it..cause we dont talk anymore..the last time was back in highschool. yea said person is on my friends list but they rarly update and i never comment on their site, actually tonight was the first time in a long time that i went to said persons site. i knew said person was "liberal" i guess you would say..but to actually put down on your site that you are an athiest....i guess i didnt expect..i should have but didnt expect it. i mean i looked all through my other friends and some didnt even comment on their religion, they left it blank...said person could of done that but didnt...i dunno it just really makes me think about said person. they are extreemly nice and very caring for others, but this just made me look at said person in another light. ::sigh:: well i just wanted to get that off my chest.

i have been adding and deleting alot of things on LJ(new layout added stuff to profile..ect)and my myspace..so go check out the new stuff...


adding..

so today while adding stuff to both my webpages i desided to take a look down memeory lane. i have had this journal for a long time since 05, i had another journal before this which goes back further but i dont remember it. anyway..so im looking back in 05 when i started this journal and i was not happy with what i found. i was not the person i am today. i was not pleased with myself and i know God wasnt either at the time. i didnt have a good testimony back then. i was one of those people i would go today and ask are you sure you are saved? but i know i was, i just took a wrong turn and started getting very selfish. but then i got to read where matt and i started going to Berean...and my world changed in an instant back to where i was before and i started puting God first in my life. its amazing how being around certain people can change you. being around worldly people all the time causes you to go back and start being worldly. but once you get back with Godly people your priorities change and you see how stupid and sinful you were being and how you hated being that person. and i did hate being that person...i knew better and i always felt guilty about who i was. but God answered my prayer and sent us to Berean. i still have alot of learning to do, but i am happy with who i am now. i guess today God was showing me how much i have changed since going to Berean, God is always showing you things...you just have to open your eyes and listen to Him.

well this past week just flew by for me. on tues. night i woke up to massive pain in my chest and i couldnt breathe, it hurt so much. and there was pain in my back also. i have never been in the much pain in my entire life. i had know idea what was wrong with me. but the pain wasnt going away. so after about an hour and a half of this said pain we were at the hospital. now i am not the person who just goes to the hospital every time i have a pain, i rather just stick it out, but i this pain was differnt i couldnt breathe it was like a knife going through my chest and back. so long story short the said i was having a gallbladder attack and wanted to keep me over night. well that lasted til thursday night. i guess my liver enzymes were all out of wack also. but through all this pain the baby was fine. they kept monitoring him every so often, and he was fine, just kicking away like usual. if i wasnt pregnant they said that they would take the my gallbladder out, but since im pregnant they dont want to take that chance. so i am now on a NO FAT diet. basically that means, no yummy food. i have been eating pretzels, cereal with skim milk, jello, baked potatoes, and fruit. and today we bought angel food cake and twizzlers cause i wanted something sweet. i havent tried meat yet cause i dont want to throw up again. plus its not like i can just get any kind of meat. it have to have no fat on it like skinless chicken. and bland cause i cant put butter on it or fry it or whatever not even marinade most likely. so its plain baked chicken. im going very slow about eating certain things, cause i have to know what my body will allow or not. cause if i eat somethin and get the pain again and get a fever again, i will be pretty much back in the hospital on a liquid diet again, and they may have to do surgery which i dont want to do while im pregnant cause it dangerous. and the surgeon also doesnt want that to happen. so no yummy foods, until after the baby is born. NOT FUN. but i have to do it for now. i still get teh pain in my chest but it isnt strong like it was. i just have to watch out for strong pain and a fever, cause its not good for me to have a fever with the baby.

in other news. we looked at some apartments up in dublin sat. we drove around one and called but they dont have anything to show til fri, so we have to wait for that. the the other one we looked at was nice and big, alot bigger than this small apt. a friend of ours used to live there. its a little more money than the one we will be looking at on friday, but we like it. but honestly even though we like it i think both matt and i are hoping that this other one will be better(well not better, but that we like it enough) cause its cheaper.

ok so i have not updated in forever. a couple weeks ago i finally felt the baby move(i did write that on his/her journal). and last friday i was supposed to have my ultrasound but my doctor had a delivery so its this friday. so hopefully i ll find out what im having and that everything is in good shape. Christmas eve was at my grams we ate and i got to see my cousin Becca who is 2 months ahead of me(pregnant). and she is huge lol. but ive missed her cause they never came to grams at thanksgiving. so i finally got to see her. and Christmas day i stopped by my grams mc, just to say hello. then it was off to matts parents to dinner and presents. good food i loved it. and we didnt get home till midnight or somwhere areound there. so i was really tired. baby and i out for the count. or is that down for the count....i dunno anyway. great Christmas altogether. hope everyone Christmas(or holiday) went well.

i had the most exciting day. after chruch we dropped Jordan off over at grams(thats where they are living again) and timmy was there. and he mentioned to matt "nice suit, i need to get one." grams was growchy with him like usual and goes "what for!" and he looks at matt and says "to wear to church we, need to start going." ok this isnt just anything, this is HUGE!for those of you who dont know Timmy i'll explain. Timmy was raised jehovah witness. hes not into it right now, though he uses it sometimes to fight about religion. but basically he mocks all religion and God. hes said to the kids before, (one time right after droppping Jordan off at home from church) "God, what has God done for this family?....nothing." which really upset matt and I cause we're taking Jordan to church and he loves it, he loves learning about how great God Is and what He's done for us. Timmy also is very blunt, and tells you how he feels and is pretty much selfish and worldly.

Ok so guess what happened next?

My jaw dropped to the floor and i looked over at grams and looked at her with a "Is he being serious?" look? and Then goes at the same time, "are you serious?" and goes one to WITNESS TO TIMMY! I was sooooo excited! and he pretty much agreed to some things. and i cant wait to see what happens. Jordan goes to matt as they were walking outside, "Hey uncle Matt wouldnt it be good if daddy came to church with us?" and i was just floored.! i really pray that Timmy was serious and that he is thinking about what matt said. This is so huge and i never in my life thought Timmy would bring up going to church. so please pray for timmy, jordan, colleen and austen and the twins. it would make my christmas to know know that that at least one of those people in that family got saved. now if all of them did that would be trimendous, but thats asking to much in such a short amount of time. and its all in Gods timming so its up to Him, not us, Matt just planted the seed and we have to just pray and watch him grow.