pseudo-coherency

I find that sometimes I wish to put thoughts in writing. But I need a clean break from the troubled times that the LJ took me through.

To occasionally stop in and see what's on my mind, you can find me at sahfeerah(dot)wordpress(dot)com

I didn't realize how emo that last post sounded.

I'm fine, and everything's fine. It's just time for this LJ to be retired, I think. No huge deal.

So to everyone that's been asking frantically if I'm okay, I am.

Thank you for the concern. =)

~Saph

This will probably be my last post on LJ. I know you're all devestated. I'm such a regular poster anyway.

I'll be moving my blog account. If you really want to know where it's going - drop me a line. I'll tell you where I'm hiding.

I'll still keep this account for browsing friends' pages and occasionally making comments.

You guys be good,

it's been a fun time.

~Saph

And Eleri did it first....





Find your Celestial Choir


Scary...I didn't think it to be that...well, accurate. =P

Yay for Nelaë.

So now that I have time, I figure that all those who care could do with a Saph update.

The first year at UMW is officially over as of tomorrow afternoon at about 2:30. The only thing I have left is my chemistry final. I think I've done pretty well, if I may say so. The official grades come out in a couple of weeks.

So in the past week, I've finished up spring semester, and moved into my summer apartment. Right now I'm stealing my internet connection from a neighbor who wasn't wise enough to lock his wireless network when he set it up in an apartment complex.

Brenton arrives in a week - more or less. I'm excited, I really am - I just have so much to do between now and then. But we're going to have an awesome summer. I'm always easier to get along with in the summer. Right now the place is pretty much unfurnished, but I have several people lending stuff over the summer, and I'm bendy, I can live for two weeks on the floor. Doesn't bother me a bit. ;)

Work is not really fun. I really hate retail. But hey, it helps to pay the rent, yes? I've also started teaching piano. (I honestly can't remember if I've mentioned that here, probably not since I'm not posting very much). I'll also be working the Music Lab during the summer, as well as next year. It seems really awesome, it's like a library, but completely dedicated to music. And I shall take my little OCD brain, and organize everything in there over the summer. I'm all giddy excited! CDs, and LP, and Scores, OH MY! ^_^

So yes, I'll have three jobs this summer, and I'll be doing school. What can I say, I like to be busy. =) It won't be that bad though - the music lab is only about 8 hours a week, and for 2 months of the summer my piano student will be on vacation. So it'll all even out, methinks. I'm most concerned about the two weeks before summer term (it starts Saturday) and the three weeks between summer term and fall semester. I don't do well when I have too much time on my hands. Gah!

So that's the big stuff. I'm finishing up one thing, poised on the cusp of a great adventure. Poor Brenton may find out how horrible I am to deal with...we shall see. I'll try not to break him too much. If this experiment works well, he may be moving up here after he graduates.

Hopefully this weekend, I'll go home, have my car looked at (yes, the damned thing is acting up again...it tries to stall every time I come to a stop...not fun), and pick up my piano. Dr. Mackey has a pretty tall order for the summer. I have to learn an entire Bach fugue this summer, work on the Debussy that we already started, and she gave me a Rachmaninoff prelude (oh doom! so hard!), and a Beethoven cello sonata. Oh the joys of being a bio/musi.

It was just too good to pass up

( Olin )

So I finally saw a doctor specifically about my headaches. I've been having headaches and migraines for over 10 years now, but this is the first time that I've seen a doctor just for the headaches.

So in a rapid fire round of questioning I found out that not only do I know very little about my own family history, but I'm on the cusp of taking meds every time my head starts hurting, and taking a preventative medication every day. And I'm kinda worried...while taking a preventative means that I may never have another migraine (yay!) but one of the side effects is loss of fine motor control. As a pianist, this worries me greatly...

So I'm keeping a 'headache diary' for two months....and either my headaches are more frequent than before, or I'm now noticing them because I have to write them down. So it seems that I'm always operating with a headache with a magnitude of about 3 (on a scale of 1-10) it has to get to about 4 or 5 before it gets so annoying that it starts interrupting my life. The worst headache of my life was probably about 8.5 or 9.

Aaaand yeah.

It's spring break, I have a couple more days here, and then I go back into the omg stuff of spring semester. Soooo uh...

Yeah, I got nuthin'.

Squeee!!!!!~!~!~!~!!!1111oneoneoneone

*Warning: ramblings of a music major ahead

So I just got out of music theory skills. This is where we apply our knowledge, and do sight singing, keyboard exercises, and dictation.

Dictation has been scaring me for weeks now. There's something very intimidating about looking at a blank sheet of staff paper while someone says 'now I'm going to play five measures...the first note is an A...write down what I play.'

So today he played a melodic line five times, and we had to write it down. I feel that I did really well. I had a complete musical line in three listenings. I used the other two to check myself, make my notes look pretty, and make sure that my interval jumps are allowed in the style. But I can do it!!!! There's something so wonderful about having enough mastery to be able to hear something, and write it down.

Maybe I'm not a half bad musician after all. :-D

*bounces off the walls*

...is worth more than contraception.

Okay, now I'm all for free speech on campus, but I just can't help but poke fun at the Catholics today. They've made it sooooo easy! (And if you're reading this, are Catholic and/or are highly offended; please, take a deep breath and realize that it's just a joke. I'm sure you felt the same way when you saw the condom grams being sold. Get over yourself!)

So a friend of mine was in the 'Nest today and was asked if he would like some chocolate. So of course he said yes. He came back to the room bearing a little piece of propaganda that I would like to share. I haven't added anything. Even the bolding is part of the original leaflet.

*clears throat*

True Love

is worth more than contraception.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's a Valentine's day gift to remind you that our bodies are priceless and our sexuality is an important part of who we are.

If we use contraception we are forgetting that to love means to share your whole self with another, and that our sexuality is so much more than just sex.

Aren't you worth more than "just sex"?

Enclosed in this little note you will find a free, full sized candy bar. Just a little gift from us to you to help you live your life to the fullest this Valentine's Day.

What is Love?

This is the time of year when scholars, poets and lovers all ponder the same question: What is Love? But no matter who we are we agree that trust is an integral part of every loving relationship, and without it everything fails.

But what is Trust??

Trust is completely exposing every aspect of oneself to someone and sharing every bit without fear. This includes our sexuality, something that is so much more than just "sex." By using contraception we are smothering the trust that should develop in our relationships.

How could you trust someone knowing that they are keeping a part of themselves from you? Or, how could someone trust you knowing that you are intentionally holding back a part of yourself from them? Ask yourself, "If we really trusted each other, if we really loved each other, shouldn't we be sharing everything with each other?"

Our society is already showing the ramification of this lack of trust in our relationships. Currently, over half of the marriages in this country end in divorce. There are many reasons people give for breaking up but one of the most common is "I just wasn't happy." However, couples who do not use contraception, those who share every part of themselves with their partner, report being happier in their relationships and result in a much lower rate of breakup an divorce.

Don't let anything come between you and your sweetheart:
Not even a condom

It makes sense that condoms are handed out today with nothing more than a tiny chocolate kiss. This reflects how little love you can express while using it. Using contraception tells your lover, "I don't want to share every part of myself with you." That's why we're giving you a whole candy bar, to demonstrate that:

WITHOUT CONTRACEPTION, YOU GET SO MUCH MORE.

**

So...yeah. Stew on that for awhile. I'll comment later...because right now, I don't think it needs much commentary.

So, after going off tonight (see the locked post directly after this one for details...sorry if some of you guys are reading but not part of LJ...) and being unkind on someone's little test thingy...I decided to set up my own.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Saphira_lime

Be truthful, don't feel like you have to tiptoe around what you really think about me. I'm really curious as to how you guys see me.

And yeah, that's my little concession to inquisitive vanity. Enjoy.

yeah yeah, I know that I'm horrible about updating. Just one more thing to add to my 'must do more' list. Sorry.

I'm currently in Nashville, TN - visiting a very good friend. I'll be here until Wednesday.

The semester has finally ended, and I think everything went well. I'm expecting good grades all around.

I'm looking forward to next semester too - I finally get back in a lab. That'll be really good. I miss lab so much.

So! NASHVILLE! We (we being me, Chris, and three of his friends Leah, Steven, Aubrey) went out of a marvelous pizza joint called Mafiaozas. I, of course, dressed to the nines, and looked hot. I fit in well with the whole italian mafia theme. The pizza was excellent, and Chris and I had the rest for breakfast this morning.

Today I finally got caught up on most of my sleep, I no longer feel like I'm about to pass out if I walk too quickly. Which is very happy. The rest of today is kinda up in the air, but I'm thinking that there will be great cooking, lots of drinking, and I shall try my damndest to add to the brown coat ranks. Because he's seen one episode of Firefly, and hasn't seen Serenity. So I think we're gonna rent some stuff tonight.

It's really casual, which is awesome. Downtown Nashville isn't as difficult to navigate (walking wise) as I thought it might be. After being shown around for a little bit, I could get myself back to the car no problem. I only got the 'OMG, big city *hide!*' feeling when we were traveling back from the bar and had to wade through the drunk Santa convention. Bar hopping Santas, I kid you not. It was one of the more disturbing things I've seen in awhile.

We're off to discover a bit more of Nashville, along with some lunch at the Calypso Cafe. I'll update more later. Promise!

This was....interesting....

( Saph's seduction )

Okay, I'm feeling like 'meh' and I'm about to vent and rant, so yeah... you have been warned.

I just got out of my Greek exam. I think we have one more before the final. Lemme check the syllabus. Yes. One more before the final. I did really well on the first one. I think this one ate me. I'm really frustrated though, because it shouldn't have! I know the Greek...I Know that I know it. But my brain wouldn't access this morning. I forgot basic vocabulary. Wtf? If I didn't know it, it'd be fine. I'd take the hit to my grade and go on. But I'm upset because I just didn't perform as well as I know I should have, I guess.

Okay enough about Greek.

I'm also annoyed that today I have to plot alternate routes across campus. This irks me greatly. The Jesus people are out en force. They've set up strategic booths around campus and are accosting students as they pass, trying to pass out bibles. (You know the ones...the NT and Psalms....)This in itself doesn't bother me. They're just doing their thing, which is cool, I can respect that. Mostly they're on one side or the other of Campus Walk, and you can just walk on the other side of the path if you don't want to deal with them. Cool, I'm totally digging that. But in front of Lee Hall there are two of them directly across from each other and they come at you from both directions. I find this quite unnerving. I also don't appreciate the 'We'll pray for your soul, Miss!' (Excuse me, I do not have a soul, I am a soul; thankyouverymuch) My friend Ana (who is pagan, for those keeping score) took one and just holds it up and says 'I've got my pass!' when she goes by. This is probably the best course of action, except that I don't want to take one. And I want them to leave me the hell alone. And if I do happen to take the little book, it'll just sit on the desk and collect dust, because I've already got 2..or 3..had them for years. Because I'm such a bibliophile that I can't bring myself to throw away a book. I just can't, it's not in my nature. So now I'm just trying to avoid them. Which puts a cramp in my day.

The mystery admirer that was the subject of the last post has been uncovered. My friend Aspen likes to leave little notes for me. It wasn't Marcus, which is all I really care about. =P

So...yeah...I got distracted by the roomie and a puzzle...the wind is officially gone from my sails.

Soon I venture out for some lunch...and see how many Jesus people I have to fight off....maybe I should start carrying a stick...

Meh. *nods*

So I just got back from lunch with Ana and there's a postcard slipped under my door full of Shakespearian sonnets.

No name on it except 'Saph'

Which means that this person knows my screen name.

Since I'm avoiding one particular guy on campus, this is a little strange. Although I don't think it's him...I hope not. The handwriting is too neat - and there are little things drawn all over it. Suns, moons, flowers, little curlicues.

I'm sooo confused!

As far as I know, I'm the only hardcore Myst geek on campus, and while it is something that one of you guys would do just to cheer me up, I don't think it's you guys either.

It would seem that I have an admirer...

EEeenteresting.....

and by-golly I've got it.

Right now it's more annoying than crippling. I'm wanting to sleep more, but the college schedule doesn't allow for it. Perhaps I can catch an extra nap today. That'd be great.

So yes, headcold thingy, and two vocal concerts in a week and a half. Yaaaaaay! We're passing it through the choir(s). It's like a new secret, we just can't keep it to ourselves!

And that's my major news for now. Unless you count falling down during fencing drills b/c my balance is all farked up. That's no fun, no fun at all. People tend to laugh at you as they're carrying your sorry ass to the wall so that others don't stomp on you.

I did NOT find my echinoderm. And this makes me sad. =(

is accidentally kicking a pillow off the top bunk so that it lands on your roommate's desk and everything goes *clatter clatter clatter*. Ooof...klutzy Saph.

So! I am determined to play Uru at school. Unfortunately, the shiny laptop that was bought for school (and to play Uru) doesn't run Uru. At all. Crash and burn baby.

But I have this ancient desktop at home that runs Uru just fine.....

I *think* it has an ethernet network card in it...

Hmm...

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah, I'm bored in Music Theory too.

This is taken from a bunch of people stuff, so bear with me, it's been marinating for awhile.

First of all I have to second nommie's statement that I haven't been blogging b/c there's really nothing to blog about beyond all the awesome things that happen but it doesn't translate well to text. It's a 'ya had to be there' kinda thing.

I also found computersherpa's latest post quite interesting. The push to perhaps get some of the stress taken out of the application for college process. Which is well and good in some respects.

So what I really want to rant about is the tendancy of first year freshmen to burn their tiny little freshy brains out. Those of you reading may or may not know, I'm a 22 year old Sophomore, so I have a teeeny bit of experience with the real world, and I like to think that I have a pretty good handle on things that are important and things that aren't. But maybe that's just me.

So orientation week, I adopted a Freshman, it was my community service act of the year. She's adorable, if perhaps a bit too innocent for my tastes, but I'll slowly break her. =D But that's not my point. Tonight, like every other night, Courtney is in her room studying until her little freshy brian oozes out of her little freshy ears and sits in a puddle on the floor b/c she's afraid she's going to fail a biology test. Among other things, she has to learn the classification of 15 plants before Friday and insists on cramming them all Sunday night.

Lesson 1: Pace yourself.

College is not a place to study your heart out to the exclusion of everything else. I mean, some people are built that way, but most of us aren't. I find (at least in the classes I've had so far) the prof's don't give you more than you can handle IF you budget your time. This means that if you're exhausted and need to sleep, do so! It's a fact of life that everything you hoped to accomplish in one day will not happen. So be flexible but try not to let things slip through the cracks too much. I know it's difficult until you get the hang of it, but still, it's worth it.

Lesson 2: Set a routine.

This seems rather silly but can make such a huge difference! There's a time to sleep, and a time to eat. Eating and sleeping are two things that most college students don't do correctly. They (we) stay up until all hours of the night, and then go to early morning classes. When/if we eat, we tend to get things that aren't terribly good for us, because hey! We've never had anyone not tell us what to eat before! It's a novelty that if you're lucky you'll outgrow quickly or just make better choices in the first place. But still, eating and sleeping on a regular schedule is key.

Lesson 3: DRINK WATER!

You don't realize how much of your immune system needs that water that you're not getting. (Trust me, I'm a biology major, I know these things) I usually carry a liter around with me at all times. I sip it during class, on the way to class, in the 'Nest, doing homework, during fencing practice, and any other time I feel like it. Horizon's trick of sipping water to stay awake in those slow classes that you're too tired to sit through works excellently as well. Once your body adjusts to the new volume of water, you won't have that fear of running to the bathroom every few minutes. Perhaps best to start this one on a weekend while you get acclimated if you're terribly worried about it, but it can save you so much time in the long run because it keeps you from getting sick. Truly it does. It flushes out your system so the ickies don't have as great a chance to latch onto your insides.

Lesson 4: Don't sweat the small stuff.

And it's all small stuff. So you didn't completely finish the homework. Fine, take the lower grade but don't worry, you'll get the next one. So you didn't do as well as you hoped on that test. It's not the end of the world. Life plods on and you'll do as well as you do. Stressing after the fact or before the fact doesn't help, so stop.

...and suddenly I realize I'm on a soapbox. I guess that's okay too, even though the person that really needs to read this won't. It feels good to get it out.


Oh, and for those looking for some daily Saph life...I think I lost an echinoderm in the fencing mask.

I've always loved that line. It's such a great line with a wealth of story behind it.

So, in the big news today, I have become the section leader for the first sopranos in the UMW chorus. That's right, they made me section leader. Duuude, scary. So I set outside rehearsal times and "other duties". I'll be getting an email from the director soonishly.

My classes today went well for the most part. I think I'm going to use the bulk of my freetime tomorrow to see if I can get a course overload approved. I tried today, but got shut down by the scary secretary. She gave me the 'you CANNOT overload your first semester here.' We'll see about that. 19 credits sounds like a bunch, but when you factor in that 7 of those are music, (two choirs, piano lessons, and a theory class that I could teach...) it's not bad at all. And if I throw out my English or Calc, I run the risk of being bored. And I do so hate to be bored. So, off to talk to biology and music department heads on the morrow.

Math hates me, but we always knew that. I'll still do well in the course, I think. It'll come back.

Tomorrow is a pretty light day, only Theatre at 11...lucky me.

So yeah, not much else to report. Courtney and I went to Friday's for dinner, and she freaked a tad when I had a mixed drink. She insisted on driving back to campus, and I let her, if only to make herself feel better about the whole ordeal. She nearly merged into a car in Central Park, and ruined my gas milage. But that's okay, I love her anyway.

So yes, one class, and then fighting with bureaucracy, and some greek alphabet and readings on the Vietnam War. It's a full day. =) And so far, I'm just happy to be here, boss.

Goodnight all.

So I have a few hours to kill, and I'm a bit bored with being the good student and reading my text books. Some of the upperclassmen are back today, but I don't quite feel like playing lost little transfer student either. So lucky you! update!

Mary Washington is absolutely awesome. I adore this place. And except for a few issues with a chilly room-mate, I'm doing quite well. I've made some awesome friends. (A few of which are in Alvey, one of the only air conditioned freshman dorms). I won a Twister tournament on Thursday. That was great fun.

Ummm, lessee....it's sweltering, because it's eastern VA in August. It should cool off soon. I'm happy about that. =)

I'm going to try to force add Greek on Monday. I picked up the text today, and it's for ancient Greek, which by glancing through the text is NOTHING WHAT SO EVER like modern Greek. And since I know a little modern Greek. FUN! Yay for me! All of my other classes seem okay.

Todays big news is that I had my vocal audition. It went quite well, I wowed them as Glinda from Wicked. I'm was cute, hyper and did the squeaky noise. =) I got a fussed at a little for closing my eyes during Danny Boy. I have no idea where to look during auditions. I guess it's something to think about. At the end of the audition she told me to sign up for UMW Chorus and that 'We'll talk about Chamber Choir' and then I told her that I was already signed up for Chamber Choir, and she told me to keep it. =D So I got into 2 choirs! *eek!* She also seems to think that I signed up for voice lessons, and the two voice teachers got all giddy. Two choirs will bump me up to 18 credits though. Hoo boy, this'll be fun. I'm going to just politely refuse voice lessons this semester if they pounce me.

Tomorrow is my piano audition, but I'm not nearly as nervous about that one...I'm not sure why. Maybe I've gotten cocky in my old age. So yes, yay.

Parking decal on Monday. Fun. Classes start on Monday, double fun.

That's all for now, I've had some moments of deep insight, but I'll post about those later. Because looking through the duck collection and the evolution of dance is not conducive to deep thought.

Thanks for reading. Come again.

I have audition times!

And my room-mate responded!!

And my credit card is finally paid off!!!

And I'm going to the National Aquarium at Baltimore tomorrow!!!!








More bars than the competitors...
<.<
>.>