sweetheart of the rodeo

beautiful sorta, but not.

Wed, 04 May 2005 01:46:29 GMT

best picture ever & wilco at sunset.
i'm still hyped on this weekend.

by the way,
while standing in the grocery store today i opened up a magazine
and came across tyler hilton in people's 50 MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ISSUE.
you guyyyys.
and aubrey o' day totally made the band.

i'm not going to my high school reunion. ever.

and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on

Tue, 03 May 2005 02:34:18 GMT

good things about coachella:
-------------------------
running into everyone at the right time
brian and steve's conversation during rilo kiley
rilo kiley playing my favorite song
seeing wilco at sunset, while coincidently being beautifully high
new friends
coldplay being really, really good?
dance party / amazing visuals during the faint
nancy applauding the arcade fire during bright eyes
getting in for free
being interviewed on the news for no apparent reason
enjoying eisley, even if by myself
bloc party being over the top amazing
hearing neighborhood # 1 from behind the stage
seeing dexter and omar after years/months, respectively
me and steve's new friends from mexico city
the aqua teen recycling bin
tiffany and her mom being the only entertaining thing during weezer

bad things about coachella:
-----------------------
bright eyes playing only digital ash stuff
pinback playing too fast
and that creepy guy who tried to dance with nancy, shelley and me.

we win.

tennessee's a brother to my sister carolina

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 00:25:11 GMT

i kind of almost cried when he came in with the harmonica on "oh my sweet carolina".
i win.

anyway, he was a total fucking mess,
and i don't think i'd have it any other way.
somewhere between the barrettes and the wine-chugging on stage,
i had one of the best nights in recent memory.

smoking on the rooftop on hollywood boulevard,
the best crowd never found on myspace,
drew driving all the way from utah,
curtain call at one thirty am,
limbeck patrick being so drunk he responded in smiles.

shit is good.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 07:18:43 GMT

because the new ryan adams cd isn't out until may third,
and i hate everything on my itunes right now,
please recommend me something to listen to.
anything at all, i'm pretty open minded.

just fair warning, if you suggest new kids on the block or usher,
you are not being ironic,
and i'll probably hate you from here on out.

don't be lazy.
do it.
<3!!!

(i take it back,
ryan adams, shelley and drew(!) on friday,
amen amen.)

wake up, wake up, wake up, i understand its hard to do that sometimes

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 06:55:31 GMT

i'm starting to worry that my vague/cryptic journal entries are as obnoxious as everyone elses on my friends list.
i figured i'd start explaining myself better.

i spent the past twenty minutes screaming and throwing stuff around my room,
which was rather out of character and somewhat exciting.
i don't see how i'll be where i'm supposed to be in four months,
but it could happen.

i've got too many things to do before i leave for school.
LEAVING FOR SCHOOL, WHAT THE FUCK.
i've started to sell my posessions/internal organs on ebay to stay on track.
i bought a coat for chicago today. before i even put my deposit in for my tuition.
my priorities are kind of out of order.

i've got this really really amazing, unbelievable thing on the horizon,
but i don't want to jinx it.
(i absolutely hate when people say shit like that.)
it involves me saving a ton of money i dont have
and doing something ridiculously irresponsible three weeks before i move.
apparently, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

ummm. i miss everybody.
still vague, i know.

the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 09:02:42 GMT

it's an awful feeling when the ones who are supposed to be helping you out are the ones who are fucking you up.

there's a light on in chicago

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 02:49:13 GMT

blah blah blah i got into columbia blah blah blah.
you guys are pysched, i know, no more bitching from me about it.

oh god it's going to be cold.
i am an idiot.
but yaaaaaaay.

oh, and i'm gonna go lay out at the hotel tomorrow and watch andy roddick practice,
i guess he has a crowd of like sixty people a day.
who wants to come?

dance, dance; we're falling apart to half-time.

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 08:54:55 GMT

i wore my cowboy hat around the house all day today,
in efforts to make myself feel better.
i should be sleeping on some kid's floor in austin right now,
but responsibility has got the ~~best~~ worst of me.

note to self:
quit after bills are paid.
go somewhere fun.
be you again.
drop entire tax return on irresponsible means.
sleep less.
play more in public parks.

please understand that you've had every chance.
you've had all the time,
all the time in the world.
(but you don't listen.)

midtown, man. i know.

but sugar, we're going down swinging

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 05:43:56 GMT

i got this text message from my mom this morning:

"good morning baby, i am at work and can see andy roddick playing tennis with no shirt on. have a good day.<3"

fantastic.
i may have all access to that tennis tournament this week,
so somebody come with so we can gawk at him in person.

i'm not dying! just a small case of pharyngitis and an upper respitory infection to match.
figures.

i got a thick envelope from columbia today.
it said they're going to accept thirty of my transfer units,
but nothing about actually accepting me.
those guys are dicks.

i can't imagine that we won't miss this.

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:26:07 GMT

today was amazing.
i listened to bob dylan and took a walk around the neighborhood.
i would have stayed out there all day,
but i got too dizzy.
being sick is fucking awful.

i'm missing limbeck and hellogoodbye as we speak.
i think this is the first show i've ever missed for being sick,
but why did it have to be limbeck?

it seems like everyone's run out of things to say.
maybe its just the season.

chin up.
things have to get good.

you god damn kids had best be gracious.

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 10:18:18 GMT

my new job is amazing,
i get paid to stand around,
listen to morning becomes eclectic and order thai food take out for everyone else.

tonight goes down as:
chugging tall cans in my room with steve and brian
ducks in the pool
getting in berry fights (no, seriously, it hurt.)
planning out an east coast flight with shib via text message
getting ahold of greg
running into nick rondeau at super walmart<3
driving up to vista point and freezing in brian's hawaii hoodie
listening to anything but jimmy eat world
smoking cigarettes and playing the best game ever invented
(i'd choose hell before that mouse, guys. "m-i-c...")

i guess you had to be there.
but i think maybe i've got it back?
let's cross our fingers.

did i mention i left my heart in los angeles?
yeah, yeah, i know.

i had that dream again where i was lost for good.

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 10:14:18 GMT

there is a logical reason as to why i'm listening to lindsay lohan, somewhere.

decided today:
i'm through being boring,
and am ready to resume my old life of fun all the time,
anytime you're ready.
alright, then,
it's settled.

i miss back roads and fresh tracks.
somebody come with me to the butterfly garden in san diego.
or fly with me to brazil.
either way.

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:04:52 GMT

despite what i previously believed,
apparently, there is a god,
because jay mccaroll won project runway.

this is quite possibly the highlight of my month.

by now, you should have somehow realized what you've gotta do.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 02:52:35 GMT

fuccckk.

for all intents and purposes, despite its small stature, that is supposed to be the biggest "fuck" ever.

my memory is so, so, so fucking unclear.

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 11:21:20 GMT

(two am is borrring on a tuesday.)

1. On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first twenty-five songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing).
2. Write down one line of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line.
3. Have your friends comment and see if they know the songs. (NO CHEATING! NO GOOGLE!))
4. When someone guesses correctly, strike out the line and list the correct name of the song next to it. (Don't strike out the line until the song's ARTIST and NAME have both been guessed correctly!)

1. think of all the places that you've been lost and then found out.
2. ~~she stabs me with her eyes, dirty knives hidden in her dress.~~
(ryan adams, 1974)
3. cory branan's got an evil streak and a way with words that will bring you to your knees.
4. ~~well, portland, oregon and slow gin fizz. if that ain't love that then tell me what is.~~
(loretta lynn, portland oregon)
5. you think you've suffered? well, you ain't seen shit, yeah.
6. i'm not in this movie, i'm not in this song.
7. a sleepy stop in nowhere with switchblades and potted plants, the sun comes up in san diego.
8. ~~she was cast out, but turned a corner and her dad forgave her.~~
(american analog set, the kindness of strangers)
9. ~~we don't think in terms of "morning-afters".~~
(everytime i die, ebolarama)
10. ~~some of my friends don't know who they belong to, some can't get a single thing to work inside.~~
(gram parsons/whiskeytown, a song for you)
11. it's okay to think about ending, and it's okay to not even start.
12. ~~well, maybe i just set aside the fact that you were brokenhearted.~~
(alkaline trio, sorry about that.)
13. ~~since then it's been a book you read in reverse, so you understand less as the pages turn.~~
(the shins, pink bullets)
14. baby, you can have it all, now that you've just let me go.
15. i hear it's colder in cleveland than anything you could believe.
16. ~~no, my dog won't bite you, though it had the right to. you oughta give her credit, cause' she knows i would've let it happen.~~
(modest mouse, blame it on the tetons)
17. ~~making the bed, and looking forward to sleep, letting myself fall. i'm sorry for my dreams.~~
(onelinedrawing, um...)
18. down past the shop displays, i heard cathedral bells tripping down the alleyways.
19. ~~and i stood nervous next to you in that darkroom, you dropped the paper in the water and it all begins to bloom.~~
(bright eyes, old soul song)
20. ~~scratched in like resurrection, your sins are killing you, you bet they'll get me too.~~
(glassjaw, pretty lush)
21. i know my rights, i've been here all day and it's time for me to go.
22. ~~i'm thinking i should take that volume back up off the shelf and crack it's weary spine and read to help remind myself.~~
(death cab, expo '86)
23. ~~then it wouldn't be somebody else that you'd grow accustomed to, a reason to lie to me is a reason to lie to you.~~
(whiskeytown, reasons to lie)
24. ~~they call it a wasteland, they call it a wasteland, baby.~~
(at the drive-in, mannequin republic)
25. ~~in your backyard just to fuck with your guard dog, throw a brick through your shit just to cut your alarm off.~~
(atmosphere, cats van bags)

god damn, it's gonna make me cry.

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 11:32:02 GMT

conor was good tonight,
he played everything on 'i'm wide awake' but 'first day of my life',
naturally.
he played true blue, padriac, and when the president talks to god, though,
so things evened out alright.
lots of really cool kids yelling clever things like:
"conor, you rock my socks!",
"you're a genius!"
"marry me! have my babies!"
he's a lot funnier than i would have expected,
and somewhat less drunk. bummer, dude.
brian and i got lost on a movie set downtown trying to find the orpheum,
and got mixed up in grammy traffic in front of staples center.
no kanye or john mayer sightings,
but maybe we were just aiming too high.

canter's was pretty good for all the hype,
we blasted awk for the majority of the ride home,
and the inside of my right cowboy boot is covered in blood.

the plan is to sleep through tomorrow, and if i can manage it,
all of next week.
see you then.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 00:21:17 GMT

the past few days have been filled with really, really cute things.
i can't tell you what they are, but trust me.
they're really, really cute.

oh, and i quit my job.
can i get an amen.

snails have the benefit of seeing the beauty in every inch

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:11:08 GMT

goddamn, the format make me happy.
really really really.

two and a half years, nothing changes.

evelina and tara, especially.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 09:42:31 GMT

oh good god.

i like how i really didn't care about tripping over ryan adams.
man, i am awesome.

it's just not me to wear it on my sleeve.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 04:02:11 GMT

my fortune cookie from dinner at panda tonight said
"good news will come to you by mail."
if you know me and fortune cookies,
well. then you know.

p.s: my hair is blond now,
and everyone needs to hurry up and buy their format tickets.
pretty much.

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 06:43:45 GMT

no, really.
what the fuck happened to you.

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 06:57:55 GMT

arizona is boring tonight.
two thousand four is almost over.
upgrade!

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
saw jimmy eat world. met a lot of my family. applied for college.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't remember about last year. and i have a few for this year but we'll see if they pan out.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
my friend levi from high school.

5. What countries did you visit?
canada. getting wasted in bars at nineteen is awesome!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a new address.

7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
christmas, because it was so unexpectedly good. april 14-18th because it was a mess, but in an alright way. october 28th and 29th because i can't remember being so happy.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
this is so sad that i can't think of an answer. somebody help me out.

9.What was your biggest botch?
probably getting kicked out of the house three times.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
uber-bronchitis the whole month of november.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a plane ticket to chicago.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my grandmother.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my brother.

14. Where did most of your money go?
gas, cell phone bills, cigarettes, cd's, plane tickets.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving. john edwards. the hoodie shelley made me for christmas. the new jimmy eat world cd. the mcr show in ventura. cowboy boots. the rad and orange leaves in illinois.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2004?
anything from summer. the jet set life is gonna kill you by mcr. i saw it on your keyboard by hellogoodbye. any song by the format. sweet little thing by lucero. chicago is two years ago by fallout boy. call me on your way back home by ryan adams. don't stop believin' by journey. killbot 2000 by murder by death. reflections by atmosphere.(that's a lifter puller line.) lala by ashlee simpson.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? i'd say sadder, but not by much.
ii. thinner or fatter? why am i seriously the only person taking this survey whose gotten fatter? christ.
iii. richer or poorer? richer. upgrade!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
traveled. taken more pictures. ran.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
wasted time. smoked. gotten sick.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent it with my extended family. we went and watched the life aquatic. it was pretty great. i got a peanut butter ipod. how jealous are you.

21. What have you learned about yourself in 2004?
that i should really let things go.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
with the format, chicago, and my friends.

23. How many one-night stands?
it depends on how we're phrasing this question.
and not enough to look really hot anyway, so whatever.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
best week ever. the daily show. the ashlee simpson show. degrassi, hi.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
not so much.

26. What was the best book you read?
a heartbreaking work of staggering genius by dave eggers.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
lucero. ashlee simpson. i'm so serious, too.

28. What did you want and get?
to meet my family.

29. What did you want and not get?
a new job.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
garden state. eternal sunshine. i'm sorry that's so predictable.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
twenty. and i don't even remember what i did. i got a bunch of cupcakes from shay and nay. that was pretty sweet.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if i had been more motivated.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
cowboy boots. big earrings.

34. What kept you sane?
yellow. cigarettes. garden state. annette. good conversation. the apartment.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
frank iero. randy from the real world. peter saarsgard.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
probably arnold being my governor. it still hurts.

37. Who did you miss?
everyone in vancouver/pdx, j hova, tara, evelina, paul, jaclyn and hollie.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
jaclyn and hollie. they're one person, anyway.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
you can't take everything on yourself.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
even if it's alone.

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 03:16:02 GMT

i saw clay aiken at the record store today.
he's super goofy/creepy.
and there must be some pact between all the malls in arizona,
where they have to play jimmy eat world all the time.

wicker park was good.
time to go watch garden state and down some robitusin,
because as if it were possible,
i have bronchitis AGAIN.
no more airplanes. ever.

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 10:59:15 GMT

tonight. way good.
not only did i get to see hollie, jaclyn, steve, evelina & alexis,
it was pouring in hollywood.
murder by death was amazing.
lucero played "sweet little thing" for me (ben made sure i sang along),
and i called tara during "aside", because that's what we do.

if the after-show flyering party wasn't fun enough,

we ran into pete wentz from fall out boy at mel's sitting in the booth behind us.
he's very small. which i did not expect. and very hot. which was more expected.
and he dropped out of depaul three years in. there's hope for me yet.

guiltless and free, i hope you take a piece of me

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 10:39:04 GMT


gerard way is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

i got an awesome haircut tonight,
and i get to see lucero, murder by death & the weakerthans on tuesday.
everything else is pretty much details.

p.s: gs or gh.