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August 8th, 2007
08:10 am

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no, seriously..

Your August Horoscope by Susan Miller

The past two years have been a trial by fire for one close relationship. If you are married, engaged, or attached in a close personal relationship, it appears someone has given you a hard time at some point.

Difficulties may have started as long ago as July 2005, the date Saturn first entered Leo. If your birthday falls in January, you had a harder time in 2005, and part of 2006 was probably difficult, too.

If your birthday fell in early-to-mid February, then 2006 was your challenging year.

Finally, if you were born from February 14 onward, this year has, admittedly, been difficult.

Some Aquarius found that the whole two-year period spanning from July 2005 to July 2007 has been hard. If you fit in this category, it means you had a number of planets in Aquarius or Leo that were being hammered. I am so sorry you suffered for so long. No matter what your situation, though, you are about to see an amazing change from next month on.

I should add that if you were not having difficulties getting along with a partner, you may have had a temporary (or permanent) separation from a partner, perhaps because work or study necessitated it. The other possibility is that you were worried about the health or welfare of a partner and were busy helping that person through a crisis. If these types of situations resonate with you, then you too have reason to be excited, for this situation will now change for the better, and you will feel released from Saturn's test.

Saturn's job is to teach us lessons, so when Saturn moved through your relationship sector you began to see that there were both privileges and responsibilities in a close committed relationship. This month will bring your final test.

On the new moon, August 12, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, and Saturn will all be opposed to your natal Sun, so chances are you will be challenged to find a way to agree on a plan with a partner for the future. It will become clear that you can't go on as you have, and you need to come up with a new plan.

Alternatively, it may be that you are ready to sign an important contract with a new partner that you plan to be with a very long time (that is certainly indicated!) In astrology, the fifth house is about love, but the seventh house is all about making a formal, serious commitment by signing papers. Even in marriage, we sign a contract, so whether you are getting engaged or married or going into a business relationship, you would be discussing exactly how this union is going to work - always good to discuss.

With all those planets in your opposite sign of Leo, you will have to cooperate and compromise. It may be that the other person has certain qualities or talents that you need in your life, and that you are willing to give in more to get the union started. (This would apply more to business partnerships, of course.) Be sure you don't give up too much in your enthusiasm to get the contract signed, however, as you may feel too "locked in" legally, with nowhere to go if you change your mind later.

Your efforts to formalize this partnership will get a big boost at the new moon on August 12. That new moon will open a portal that will last for two weeks. The seeds that you plant and the decisions you announce during that span of time will stay with you for a long time, possibly forever. Your strongest week to act will be August 12 - 19. There will be an eclipse at month's end, and I would like you to stay clear of that, as endeavors started on or very close to an eclipse never quite work out as intended.

Aquarius is a fixed sign, and hence you often have difficulty moving off one idea and adopting an alternative plan that might work better in the long run. Saturn is standing close to the Sun, so it appears a partner will be particularly insistent that you listen closely to what he has to say and be accommodating at this time. (I say "he" because the Sun is usually indicative of a male.)

If you are part of a long-term relationship and are tired of the continual tug of war that you may have had to endure, you may now leave this tie. Saturn conjunct the Sun sometimes does indicate certain arm-twisting that could result in a complete collapse of the relationship if the other party presses too hard. There is no destiny here. For other Aquarius, it means a time of making long-term plans. As I mentioned, you won't likely go on as you have without a decision.

If you have no partner in your life (not for business and no steady sweetheart) you may find you are beset with a difficult, out of control competitor, detractor, or critic. If one of these usual suspects turns up (and you HAVE dealt with this type of situation before), don't let this person deflate your confidence. Remind yourself that this person has chosen the wrong person to attack (you) and that you plan to stage a rebuttal, quickly! Few can win in a debate with an intellectual Aquarian, so go ahead and show them what you're made of!

Those readers born on or within five days of February 8 will feel the affects of this new moon August 12 the most.

You will be happy to know that Saturn will leave Leo next month on September 2 and won't return to this part of your chart until 2034. As you see, your future looks VERY rosy for future relationships! You will almost immediately notice an improvement in the quality of your life - the tension you've experienced will drop, your overall health and vitality will improve, and your natural optimism will be evident to one and all. It's you at your most lovable!

If you are an Aquarian you will benefit, no matter what your marital status. If you have been going through a divorce, you will finally close this chapter, and it should come through soon. If you are married and hope to patch things up, you will be given the best chance you have had for months to get your partnership back on track. If you are single and have met a number of romantic interests, but found that although you had high hopes at the onset, none panned out, you too will benefit.

Here is some amazing news that you're probably not expecting! This month your house of new love (fifth house) will sparkle brightly, thanks to a visit from Mars, to extend from August 7 to September 28.

Mars will help you kick off a whole new two-year romantic cycle - and when that period is over, Mars will return in 2009 to ask you if you'd like to continue that relationship or find a new one. If you do fall in love, you can proceed to the next level, without old Saturn throwing rocks in your path. This is a fantastic development, for finally you have a real chance at happiness.

If you are single Mars will bring out your most attractive sexy side, and Venus, Mars' lover, will help you too, by gliding in Leo, a sign that blends well with yours.

Your best days for romance include: August 2, 3, 16, 17, 25, and 30.

However, Venus will be retrograde all through August until September 8, indicating that you'll spend time this month thinking back to an old relationship. In fact, you may even be tempted to be in touch again, perhaps to gain closure. However, after September 8, you will be ready to put the past behind you and embrace the future with full enthusiasm. Mars will still be brightening your love sector in a rare visit throughout September and will see to it that your sex appeal is high.

Your finances will need tending at the lunar eclipse full moon, August 28. Within five days of this eclipse, you may get a large, sudden expense. Or, you may see a source of income disappear. Money due to you may not materialize for one reason or another.

There are other ways you could be focused on money, so let me give you some examples. Your roommate could suddenly leave, and if that happens and you'd have to shoulder the rent alone until you find a new roommate. Or, you could have dental problems, say with your wisdom tooth, and suddenly need to have it out, causing an unexpected expense. These things happen.

Don't worry - you can handle this, but admittedly, this can feel jarring. If you should see the worst - your job gets downsized (I am not saying you will lose your job, but if you do) - a new one could be on the way, perhaps after next month's new moon solar eclipse, September 11.

Eclipses are the strongest tools that the universe uses to test the strength of the various elements in your life. In this case, the eclipse is currently about to examine your personal money: how you earn it, spend it, save it, and so forth.

You will have very positive aspects earlier in the month from Pluto to the Sun on August 19. (That's a Sunday, but the days LEADING to this day will also be positive, too). The Sun rules middlemen in your solar chart, and Pluto, your career, so a job broker or headhunter may be very helpful to you at this time. If you think your job is on shaky ground, get started looking at others early in the month, and use the days I just mentioned for your interview.

The most glowing part of your chart centers on your friends, contacts, and even new acquaintances. Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, has been gliding through your people sector in Sagittarius, a fire sign that blends beautifully with your air sign element. (Many people assume Aquarius is a water sign, but it's actually an air sign.) Apparently, your friends have been preoccupied lately and not much help - that's because Jupiter has been retrograde over the past four months. That will all change when Jupiter assumes direct orbit on August 6.

From August 6 on, Jupiter will remain in very strong position through the end of the year. If you need to make more money, I would suggest you get in touch with lots of your friends, for they will have tips, references, and solid advice. Not only will they point you toward new job opportunities, but they also will have ideas of where to acquire things cheaper if you should find that under this eclipse you have a big expense. Your best friend may know where to buy an air conditioner below retail, or a new pal you made recently may be a whiz at selling things on EBay and help you unload certain things you no longer need, while you rake in cash.

Tied to this trend, you will also get help from clubs and organizations. If you need to join a professional club, do so after Jupiter turns direct this month. Attend meetings - a tip may turn out to be life changing.

If you are part of a charity group, get involved - you will make quite a name for yourself, now through December. Things we do to help others have a way of coming back around to help us, even when that was the farthest thing from our mind!

A perfect day to get together with a friend will be August 2, when Jupiter will send golden beams to the Sun.

Summary

With five planets opposed to your Sun in August, be collaborative, conciliatory, and cooperative. You won't likely get anything approved without some sort of negotiation. Conditions won't always be this difficult to navigate, dear Aquarius. By next month you will see a whole new set of circumstances surface that will represent a vast improvement over the ones you have had to deal with until now.

For now, while less than friendly aspects prevail, go with the flow. Partners have the upper hand, so realize that their wishes will eventually rule. That doesn't mean you can't influence the outcome - you can. Put your heads together and be optimistic. Allow for the possibility that you will like the result even better than if you had the final say.

While relationships will improve dramatically next month, you will have to keep a close eye on finances from now on. A major eclipse on August 28 could change the source of your income or bring you a large, unexpected expense.

Indeed, you may lose a valued source now or soon, but if so, something better will show up, possibly as soon as just after next month's solar eclipse, September 11.

Whether you are employed by others or work for yourself, start sending out the word that you are reviewing proposals and offers. This is no time to take a vacation - start the process.

If you work in a creative field, you will find it easy to come up with new ideas and concepts this month. If you have a creative partner to act as a sounding board, all the better.

Speaking of partnerships, this month would be an excellent time to formalize a contractual collaborative effort, or to simply agree verbally to go into a joint venture. Make sure each of you would contribute what the other needs and that you draw up clear lines of responsibility. There is a possibility of confusion or miscommunication, but success depends on you being clear and definitive now.

If you are single and looking for love, you have an excellent chart for an exciting chance meeting. You can now find a person with whom you can share both fun and serious intellectual discussions. With Mars entering your love sector on August 7 until September 28 you should find your social life picking up in a big way. Be sure to circulate! This could easily turn out to be one of your best romantic periods you've seen in two years.

If you have been dating, the subject of making a serious commitment is sure to come up, so you will soon know where you stand. If you are already attached, you will find your partner brimming with news, especially in the second half. The stork may bring a baby soon if that's your desire - Mars will help.

If you have had a hard time with a partner and feel it is time to split, you will do so, possibly just after the new moon August 12, or more likely, on the month's most serious day, August 21. Your planets have tested your relationship to the limit and you now find yourself nearing a conclusion. If you feel you don't want to stay together, prepare your exit strategy. Leaving may not turn out to be as scary as you think. You both may feel relieved that one of you has finally had the courage to say "enough."

As said, however, if you are meant to be together, you may get engaged or pledge your love by renewing your vows. In a month that the planets are almost screaming "partnership!" there will be no middle course.

All month, you'll find your friends to be stalwart supporters. Lean on them whenever you have to do so, for they will be there for you, in spades. One of your very best days to see just how dearly your pals love you will be August 2 and on August 9, too.

Also, with Jupiter now turning to more speedy motion from August 6 onward, after months of being retrograde, you can expect an even greater response from friends in coming months. Friends may have been busy, but their preoccupation elsewhere will now end - you will get all the good advice and caring treatment you crave. If you need support, speak up.

One way or another, after this month is over, you are about to embark on a brand new chapter. There is no reason to be apprehensive. You are sweeping out the old cobwebs, dear Aquarius. It's time to live the life you were meant to live.


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May 30th, 2007
01:49 pm

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EURGH
i have only just realised (When i am supposed to be attacking the Takeover Code like a bitch), that my life, is really in a mess. (Also the weather is awful, it is literally like WINTER!)

I am, though no longer very heartbroken, still not happy ; my room, though big, is awfully messy, my finances, though still existent, are verging on a burgandy or very dark pink at the moment, dribbling into red. My thoughts, are no longer clear; Direction in life, not clear too, (BCL??? Exam?? MANY question marks.) oh and by the way, i can no longer write. I wouldnt say that i started out writing very well, neither do i mean like poetry but i used to write better. My old blog, my old essays, i wrote better when i was a fresher than when i was a finalist. there was figuralism, nuances, depth not just plain english, boring, to the bloody point. Now, its even worse. When i write these LPC exams it'll be in point form.

I know that things cant be that bad (ok at least i'll still have my flat and big room next year, we are renewing the lease, so one less problem!)  its just that i really wish i had some time to gain some perspective. Well now, i really don't. I have barely enough time to finish studying for these exams, and i am cramming so quickly that i am not sure anything is going in. and if i dont understand the cramming will not work. It is truly not as stressful as finals,and neither am i as stressed but i dont wanna be mediocre or just ok, when apparently, studying is the only thing i can do properly.  I wish i could go shopping with L and L when they get back from ireland, it was really fun having them around. We went to borough market again, they spent so much money - 4 types of cheeses,french fresh churned butter, fresh italian pesto, prosciutto, baked bread, juicy tomatoes, it was lovely! BUT i cant because i have to study. Im broke anyway, so er, whatever about the shopping... SIGH.

i am really counting down the weeks til i get to go home, it is what just under 4 weeks now. last long holiday in a while, last long holiday at home in who knows how long. (And whilst we are counting weeks, its five and a half, almost six, since we were last in touch. I almost cant believe it. i wrote him a note the other day, i couldnt resist. its still sitting in the drawer. no point in posting it, i know, and so i havent...)

aiyah, ok dont be sad anymore. attack the takeover code.

Current Mood: blahblah

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May 14th, 2007
04:25 pm

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would you lie here with me and just forget the world...
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads


I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Current Music: chasing cars

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April 25th, 2007
01:15 pm

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"there is no practical difference"
 I was in a Debt Finance lectuer at 9ish this morning, early enough but i like Debt, so thats okay. Halfway through, this is what i hear :

"whilst there might be a technical or academic difference between X Y Z, there is no practical difference"

the problem is "no practical difference". almost shorthand for "it doesnt matter" -which is bullshit. Because it does, even if it wont matter to trainees who dont give a shit about academic differences. I hate having to defend academia,i really do. The reason why it makes no practical difference is because business people care about result, not means. But those terms started out as having very practical differences, its just that over time those differences have narrowed... everytime i hear that phrase no matter who its from, i really bristle...

academic law makes a difference, even if in the buying and selling of companies it may seem that commercial considerations trump. they make a difference because a hell lot of academics debate and lose sleep over formulating legislation, its back and forth with policy people at legal departments before they get crystallised into legislation that commercial people try to navigate around, to get around this and that loophole. its a continuing feed, between the academic and the practical (although i dislike that dichotomy really. just coz something is academic doesnt mean its unreal, or practical). and this is a point that i maintain - academic whatever not just law. the brainwork makes a difference, somehow it finds its way into the "Real" world. i use "Real" ironically of course.

also, i really dont like the tone surrounding the way i get asked "so you wanna be an academic is it"? its almost like im dipping beneath (Or going Above) what i can do, like im being greedy when i already have what so many people want. and its like ERGH i dont know. Maybe i do, because finding order in law (where none exists before), because classifying what seems like a mess but really isnt, because comparing and contrasting how different legal systems deal with the same problem (even if they call it different things) interests me, in a way that negotiating contracts just doesnt. Its not that in negotiating contracts you can see an end to it - deals are closed. There is a similar endpoint in academic exploration - you find a pattern, you classify and then when something new crops up, you see if it fits within your classification and if it doesnt, why it doesnt. its not that there is no end, but that you come away with a deeper understanding of the essence of that classification.

Okay end of rant now. i have equity finance in 2 hours. i dont like that as well. too many rules. why cant i just be like a tai-tai?!

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated

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December 7th, 2006
04:04 pm

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broke.
before, i didnt wanna go on holiday coz first i didnt need to go anywhere, then, i was too lazy to plan a holiday but NOW, i just realised that i cant afford to go on holiday. for the whole year. if i dont get a job, i will struggle to get thru the first half of next year, which means a) i starve, or b) get a job. to be honest, b) is not that easy (im not qualified enough for retail/shop work and kind of underqualified for research assistant work and its virtually impossible to get one day a week work.maybe i'll have to fob something about waitressing experience or some shit) but looks like i have to try harder. great, one more thing to be stressed about.

also also, this means that i DEFINITELY cannot afford to go shopping on boxing day. like its literally shop or starve. and i know i always say that id rather starve than not shop, but this is serious business. so i think i might not even window shop, coz i wont be able to buy a single thing. literally, cant buy a SINGLE thing. coz i have no spare cash. and i cant ask my parents for one more cent. this means that my brother has to save money somehow (he's going skiing so he can afford to feed me hurhur) and somehow i have to pull thru whole year without a holiday - yep, i cant go on holiday in the summer too!! since we are both going to live off my brother's grant and whatever amount i have left after paying gym bill and phone bill. but i am thankful for other things, for at least my grant will take care of my rent and all of my bills. and at least i dont have gas/heating bills to pay. but NO more money is going on my oyster card so no more money will be spent travelling, NO more expensive coffees to pick me up -drink at home, and NO more little frivolous expenses. Maybe just ONE magazine so that i wont die of sadness and boredom. and OF COURSE, no more going out. SHIT SHIT SHIT. (But what will i do. if i cant even rent movies..........i guess, study. OH shit. more of this lpc over xmas will actually kill me). maybe if i eat only ryvita (rye crackers that cost 56p for like 20) will give me enough money to rent a movie. MAYBE.

now i cannot wait to work just because it will pay my rent. august couldnt come sooner. because then i get a bit of pay and maybe maybe get 3days off before i start the job for real. how pathetic is that.

i say again, i have never been this broke in my life.

mabel, missprudent is out again. so is miss prude. so lucky me that i dont have to spend no more money on longdistance stuff. three more days to email-day. im HOPELESS.

Current Mood: worriedworried

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December 4th, 2006
03:13 pm

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lets see how true. i'll keep posting.

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09:11 am

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parteh at the langley, covent garden
beautiful people, beautiful eveningCollapse )

these pix are a bit small but ah it will have to do for now. i need to study RIGHT now. sorry! i have never left revision so late, but they are mocks and it will just have to be enough!!

Current Mood: amusedamused

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November 3rd, 2006
11:57 am

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ohhh... new lives etc.
much as i like facebook, everytime i sign it it reminds me of an identity i no longer have.its exactly how they say you never know what you had until u lose it. everytime i type in my username in the box on the facebook page, im rudely reminded of how i'm no longer part of it anymore. i need that email to access my account, and yet that is no longer me anymore. i'm not sure how to describe how exactly that feels - a bit like i'm stealing someone else's identity. feels a bit forbidden, a bit furtive, but at the same time, how there is no way around it. it's like how im so used to writing down my old email address, except i can't give it out anymore, coz it no longer works. i remember how my fingers used to just fly instinctively over the keyboard, typing out the password to my email, but how there is no longer an account. of course it gets better with every passing day, but some days are harder than others.

anyway, i wanted to write about happier things. i went for one of those inns of court dinner things. A is on some barrister-in-training course, and they have to dine twelve times this year, so last night i went as her guest.. it was exactly like formal hall, the gowns, the hall, the food was better than in hall, i suppose but it was the same kind of atmostphere. except with more distinguished guests, and better company! A asked me if i was sick of it all since i must hvae had so many of these at O, and i said no, actually, its such a return to the familiar - i never went for many formal halls, just coz i always thought it a waste of time, dinner taking an hour and a half, when i always had work to do but it was nice last night, just to have a little taste of what i took so much for granted before. sometimes i miss O so much, especially since I will probably never return as a student again. i still dont know if i will apply, but i dont think that i will. the problem is i dont know how, or if, i can let it go.. i dont want to live my life with regrets, buti fear this might be one of them. haiyah. but neermind.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

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November 2nd, 2006
11:58 am

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the history boys, yummeh.
i dont know how i feel about this new blog. i've had the account for ages, must be years now, but somehow ive never really used it. well maybe now i will, increasingly. old one's still there, just posted a couple of days ago, but who knows. in a way thats the past, and maybe this should be the start of the present.

so yes, the history boys. i really enjoyed it and i dont even know why. the plot was simple enough. and maybe it was the combination of all the things so dear to me: history, oxford, education (and ahem, a bit of scandal, and the forbidden on the side). the point of education - was it for the sake of learning, even if it has no practical use (as Hector advocated), or was it for the sake of what counted (what Irwin was there to do.. for me, its always been the former, which is why oxford meant (means) so much, and why the lpc is so unfulfilling. it is at once the discovery of new depths and new perspectives, and concurrently the humbling-ness of how little you know. it is the thrill of being challenged, of finding and defending the strengths in your own perspective, and the shame (embarassment) of being proven wrong. for all the exam-smartness and technique that Irwin sought to teach the boys, there was also real 'education' - in comdemning the dull-ness of the essays they used to write,he taught them the value of fresh perspectives. in provocating responses about whether the holocaust should be taught, he taught them to think. he taught them to question truth (it doesnt matter), they taunted his response to the "good points" they raised, they werent just good points, they happened. he taught them detachment, he taught them the value of critical thought. all so so important for a historian. i questioned again if I should have done history (the subjunctive, or more accurately, the counterfactual, the eversoflippant what-if) and well i dont know. the study of history would have been so content heavy- but again, so was law. i remembered, and more importantly, i felt, again like i was eighteen how i would look forward to history classes especially the s-paper ones, how every additional article was never a chore, but a discovery. Oh i dont know maybe i am just strange, geeky. but yeah whatever.

and then the walk home, alone, as usual, late, as usual. i hardly ever walk to my appointments, but i like walking home, its leisurely, sometimes i worry about my safety but it gives me alone time, time to breathe, time to think, time to reminisce, time to stretch my legs etc.

i was however in such a bad mood by the time i got home, as usual i had to pretend nothing was wrong. i wished there was a rebound person i could call, who would make me feel all alright again, but there isnt, so i just went to sleep. i fell asleep, which is a good thing i suppose. and today i continue to fight the battle. maybe it will be better today, maybe i wont be so rational today.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: i dont wanna fight no more

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