Flat on the floor looking back on old love

RIT

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 03:18:10 GMT

I'm here. Finally. After 3 years of.. god know what. I made it to Rochester.

How do I feel? Homesick

Homesick for what? My bedroom? Maybe. My mother? Probably. My boyfriend? Definitely.

My roommate is cool, and the people on the floor seem pretty cool to. Kelly is my roommates name, and her and I are the oldest people on the floor. Everyone else is a freshman. That's okay though.

Dinner was interesting.. it was strange to eat dinner with people from all different parts of the country and deaf people.. pretty much 3/4 of the student body knows sign language. That's where everyone is right now.. off learning sign language I guess. I opted out due to exhaustion.

I'm already contemplating going home.. but I figure I should go to my classes first. It's not miserable here... I just miss familiarity.

Meh.

Wannabe

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:08:52 GMT

What kind of wannabe web designer am I? I'm just toooo lazy to design my lj. So it's about as plain as it can get. I'll do it eventually. It's probaby because I'm making a site for these people that are making a movie and they haven't told me if they like my idea yet.. so I'm all.. doubting my abilities.. meh.

Annnyway.. I got a MUCH needed haircut today. I have bangs again, and I could style it curly and not want to cry. So that is a plus. I felt bad at the hairdresser. She did a great job, but I under tipped her cause I'm broooke.

So I'm avoiding the real subject here.. I'm moving in one week. Moving to New York STATE (not city), and starting basically a new life. New friends, new school, new classes, new room, newww roads.. bleh. I was never much for change.. and here I go.. off into the biggest change of my liiife. I just hope it's all worth it. The debt I'm getting myself into is unreal.

I figure if it doesn't work out though, I'll just come back.. and go to USM. I'm sure I could still find a job.. just not as good of one.. heh.

Well.. I suppose I should go do something useful..

New Mexico

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:56:14 GMT

So, here I am, finally, after 3 days of being in the car for 14 hours and then setting up the pop-up and sleeping for 6 hours, and doing it again. I'm in New Mexico.

The road was long, and my cousins were loud, and my grandparents have no sense of direction, but I'm here. I'm glad I came, I guess. I've seen so many states, and I have to say I liked Texas. I wanted some cowboy boots from Texas, but my Grandpa won't drive into any cities, so I haven't been able to get any. I should be able to this week though. We're in Albequerquie so he'll have to venture into the city eventually.

If you want a play by play, without my cynical I hate everyone attitude read the family blog at www.ronaldcarol.blogspot.com.

Pretty much I've had the worst period of my entire life and I hate everyone. Heh.

I've got a lot of pictures though. We drove through St. Louis, and we stayed in Oklahoma City for a couple of days, and just the change in landscape has all mad for really great photos.

Today we get to chill out at the campsite finally. I think.

Tomorrow it's Roswell! :)

Final hours

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:04:53 GMT

So today is my last day in Maine for three weeks. I'm excited, and a little terrified.. haha. I'm all packed up, and my stuff is at my grandfathers house.. hopefully in the camper by now.. heh.

Jon and I had a little picnic dinner at Bates.. we're sad to be apart.. but we will make it.

So I guess this is farewell until I find some WiFi out there in America :)

Freedom

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:47:57 GMT

It's so liberating to not be chained to a retail job. I stopped working at Borders 3 days earlier than I was supposed to. I just didn't want to go anymore. I was so ready to be done, and I didn't want to pay the gas anymore, so I was bad, and I just stopped going. So since 5pm Monday I've done basically nothing. :) It's been nice.

Yesterday was Jon's last final for the summer, so he's done his class, and after that we went to a WHTC function for Caitlin. There was free food and free booze, so it was fun. We were really sad that I'm not 21, cause it would have been nice to go frolic around the Old Port after.. oh well.

I spent today helping Caitlin get around Portland because she was car-less. It was nice to hang out with her for a little while, and she paid me $50 for like 3 hours so I made out well I think. :) She looks great, she's got that pregnant glow, and I don't know. I just felt better with her around. It was this strangely secure feeling. I don't know why. She was only here for like two days, and she's going back to Cali Tuesday.. but I don't know. Maybe it's because she's coming back later in July, right around when I get back from New Mexico. That will be nice on the job front. I probably won't have to work at Wal*Mart now. So that's cool.

The address for the New Mexico blog is http://ronaldcarol.blogspot.com/ for anyone who wants to keep track of that.

Uhmm.. I guess that's it, I gotta get going. Jon and I are going to see Wall-E! :)

Photo Final

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:09:14 GMT

I was really impressed with my photo final.. so I wanted to have it posted somewhere. :)

New Mexico

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 23:22:56 GMT

So, apparently I blow with the wind. I decided that $70 a week in gas to get to work was just not worth it anymore, put in my two weeks notice at Borders (I'm done on Thursday), and decided to go on a trip to New Mexico for three weeks with my grand parents and two of my cousins. Heh. I'm applying for a job at Walmart (yes I know), I have my real interview on Monday of next week, and then I will start working (assuming they hire me) after I get back from my trip.

This was all set in motion last Monday when I decided not to go to work and my grandfather decided that I had to go to my cousins 6th grade graduation with him. On the drive there (to Canaan, a million miles away) he told me that I could go for basically free. I decided that getting spoiled by my grandparents for 3 weeks sounded a lot better than wasting gas to go to work. So there is the root of my decision.

I think Jon is a little thrown off by the whole thing. This leaves him to pay the bills alone for three weeks, but hey, I paid them alone for three months, so I think he can handle it. Plus I mean, he will have time to do whatever he wants, and he can work and make lots of extra money. I don't know. I just want to go on a vacation. I want to see the grand canyon, and the desert, and Texas.. haha.

I created a blog just for the New Mexico trip.. that my family and stuff can read.

Today was the annual family trip to OOB. My grandmother and great aunt rent a place every year, and all their kids and grandkids go out for a day on the beach. It was way foggy, but it was still nice to see the whole family in one place again. I just sat around.. in my sweater and pants.. haha.

Grown up?

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:48:58 GMT

So the summer job thing never happened. I did apply at ACS, and I did get a job there, but I decided not to take it because I'm lazy and I didn't feel like working over 40 hours a week like they wanted me to. I applied at Walmart to, but I don't really want to train for a new job, and I like my schedule at Borders, so I've gotten used to paying over $10 a day to get to work and back. I mean, it's hard to beat a 9-5 Monday-Thursday schedule when you're 20 and don't want to work nights/weekends/ or more than you acctually have to.. haha.

Jon finally got a job. He's been working his cute little butt off at Walmart. Between his summer class and work he hasn't had a day off since a Friday ago, and he won't again until his class ends. I feel kind of bad, but the money is totally needed.

Speaking of money, I worked 12 and half hours at Bates on Saturday. I did a lunch thing, and then I catered for the class of 1968.. it was lame.. and long.. but I made close to $100 so that's pretty sweet. I've also got a $147 refund coming to me from USM, which they were supposed to give me last SEPTEMBER!

Anyway, my little brother graduated from Lewiston High on Friday. Of course there was a fabulous family show before hand, where we all crammed into the Focus and were embarrassingly late, but we got there, and I took pictures, and I don't know, it's just weird that he's not in high school anymore. I'm not sure about his college plans, I guess he's going to UMF for a while, and then transferring out of state asap. I think he wants to go to Sarah Lawrence, which would be sweet for me, because I'll be in NY to, and he'll be close to the city :)

Mom is still dead set on leaving. I guess she's leaving a month early (can't say that I blame her), but that leaves me in this new limbo. I don't really want to live in my house if she's not there. I'm going down with her when she goes.. at least for a week.. but what about after that? I still need to work.. and I don't know when I'm aloud at RIT.. so it's all fuzzy.. and frightening..

I'm so scared to leave Maine. I feel 18 again, not that I'm that far from 18, but you would think the couple of years of college would ready me for leaving. It hasn't though. My first month at USM all I did was cry. I felt so out of place, and had no friends. It was dumb. I don't want to do that again. I want Chelsea to transfer with me! :( Oh well though, I have to go. Tom will be there too, so that's at least on friend I have, although I sincerely hope I make more.. haha.

I think it will be lame to turn 21 in Rochester.. I'll probably come home that weekend.. and just miss a day or two of school for that week. I can't turn 21 without my best friends or my boyfriend.. it just wouldn't be turning 21. I'm also concerned about going abroad. I really want to.. but RIT is so scheduled it seems like I should already be planning it.. even thought I have no clue what I'm taking for classes, or how far behind I am.. blah. I should really stop thinking about that. There's nothing I can do but wait.

I hate waiting.

My (ex)boss/mentor is pregnant. I'm talking about Caitlin if you didn't get that. She's in Cali, and she got pregnant and she is the worse kind of pregnant. She wrote about how if men got pregnant there would be abortion clinics in Home Depots and men would just be like "fuck this" and go get abortions, then by hammers, and beat shit.. haha. She's so funny. I feel bad though, she's so sick, and can't eat, but I'm happy for her. I always thought she needed a kid.. haha.

Well I've run out of things to say.. I'm waiting for Jon to get out of class because we can't stand wasting gas.. so we wait around for each other in Portland constantly..

Full moon

Sun, 18 May 2008 18:08:02 GMT

It has been the strangest week. I don't know why, and I can't really give examples, it's just been a weird week.

Mom got a job in Maryland, she's leaving at the beginning of August. It's exciting for her, and Danny and Rachel, but for the rest of us it's kind of.. surprising? Dad is not happy, he'll be left here, in this house, all alone. Which is enough to make anyone upset. I'll be in Rochester, and Ron will be god knows where, but it's just strange for the family.

I'm really happy for her though. She's going to make $43,000 a year starting, and she gets to teach English like she wants.

As for me, I'm pretty sure I'm going to RIT I only need $8000 more than I need to go to USM.. so I think that's worth it.. I'm just waiting to find out if I get to be a Junior.

I guess that's all I've got for now.. I'll leave the rant about summer jobs for later.

Accepted

Fri, 16 May 2008 01:10:10 GMT

So I got in. It was kind of anticlimactic. Congratulations, you got in, but not where you wanted to. I wanted New Media/Imaging & Design, I got New Media/Publishing. Not too different, maybe even better, but it was enough to ruin my acceptance excitement moment.

I don't know what they're gonna give me for financial aid, and I don't have $300 for a deposit, but I'm fairly certain I'm going to go.

So yay?

I think..

In other news, I finished my second 30 hour week at Borders, and I've decided to get another job because I can't afford the gas to get there.. heh.

Today is my Friday, and my mom is in Maryland looking for a job. Not that those two statement are related, I'm just saying.. heh whatever.

I'm gonna go watch LOST.

Junior

Fri, 02 May 2008 15:24:34 GMT

..or at least I hope so.

As of today I guess I'm officially a college Junior. Assuming of course RIT agrees that my USM credits transfer. Also, assuming I get into RIT. Still waiting, very impatiently, on that.

I passed in my Web Art cd at like 10 this morning and I'm done with USM for this school year. I feel a little lost at the moment. I feel like there's something I should be doing, but all I have to do is go to work tomorrow. I have no papers or projects looming over me. I just have to slowly pack this week, and go to work. It's kind of surreal.

I decided to take a 9-5 Mon-Thurs schedule from Border's for the summer. I emailed Nelson at Bates too. I told him I would work Fridays, and if he gets back to me I'll tell him I can work Saturdays too. That's only until early June, so the extra money would be nice.

This whole having nothing to do is getting to me in a weird way. Everyone hates me for it to, so that isn't helping anything.. haha.

It's too cold to go lay on the beach :(

I would love some Tequila right now.

Finals Week

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 02:02:32 GMT

So being an art major has paid off once again. I bought basically no books, only had to write one paper, and I don't have a single final. :) Yes, that's right, as of Friday this week, I'm done for the semester. This weekend, weather permitting, I'll be laying on the beach, while everyone else I know will be locked up in the library and their rooms studying. I'm so ecstatic about that. Haha

Although at the same time I'm annoyed because that's a week earlier that I have to figure out what to do with my summer. I'm not sure I want to work at Borders all summer. It's going to cost so much in gas to get to SoPo every other day.. I really like my job. I'm just not so kean on the commute. I'd rather just work in Lewiston.. and I'd rather work night than days. I'm thinking about the good 'ol May fail safe, which is calling Bates, and helping out there until June. And I will probably stop thinking about it and call them by the end of the week. But I can do both Bates and Borders, but if I didn't I could do Bates and find another job for when Bates ended. I don't know.

Maybe I'm just lazy.

I clean my room today, like crazy clean. I sorted all the bits of paper, and went through every pile. I even found the cutest Christmas present ever. Jon had made me these coupons of things he would do for me. He made some blank ones so I took one and filled it out and made him fold his clothes! lol

Speaking of Jon, he's been jobless for a while now. Well, not jobless, but hourless. He's worked maybe 15 hours in the last month. Which is just unacceptable. If he didn't have bills to pay it wouldn't be, but as it is I'm covering the insurance the phone and the car.. I have literally $5 to my name for the next two weeks because of him. He's looking for a job, but the fact that he doesn't have one yet is making me crazy.

As of Friday I can move home, and I might do it just so that I don't kill him. He'll be coming to live with me at my parents house too, but he's got finals next week so he has to stay here.

We've been slowly moving out though, our room is really empty compared to what it's been like all year anyway. We've got a big pile of our stuff in the big bedroom at my parents house, and when we move in we'll be kicking Rachel out of my room.

Still waiting to hear from RIT. Just basically stuck in limbo until I get some news, then I'll decide what to do with my life.

Bronchitis

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:13:43 GMT

Sooo I never got better.. I've been sick for a week. My mother made me promise to go see a doctor, so I did. I have some minor form of bronchitis.. aaand an inhaler. I hate inhalers, they make me all jittery, but she said it will make me stop coughing, so I guess I'll use it.

I submitted my RIT application today. I'm terrified, I mean, what if I don't get in? I've been so cocky about it, but my recommendations and my extra curriculars aren't what they used to be. I'm hoping that they think my portfolio is amazing, and take meeeee.

I'm not even paying my housing deposit here for next year.. not that it matters.. there's always room.. but I'm banking on RIT so much that it will realllly suck if I don't get in.

blah I need rest

Life changes

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:34:25 GMT

Caitlin told me about a month ago that her and Dan are moving to LA. I'm so excited for them, but a little sad for myself. I've learned a lot working for her, and she encouraged me to do better in my life, so much so that I'm pretty sure I'm transferring schools. I'm applying at RIT again, and maybe BU.. the abroad thing for next year is plan B, and plan A is transferring to RIT.

My Tuarus died about 2 wees ago, I wasn't sure what to do, I was shopping around for a new car, and somehow ended up with a new 04 Jetta. According to the world it's work like $9,000, but I only paid $6,000 when all was said and done, so I think I made out well.

Having a good car really encouraged my to transfer as well, now I won't have to live in constant fear of being trapped wherever I go because my car won't work.

Jon and I spent the last 3 days driving to Rochester and hanging out with Tom there so I could check the school out again. It's still in New York.. it's still Rochester.. and it's still cold.. but it's a great school, and all the reasons that people drop out of that school are the reasons I want to go. So I'm weird, but I'm also MADE for that place.

It is so much more appealing than USM and I would LOVE to be able to say I graduated from there. So pretty much I'm applying, and if (when?) I get in, I'm transferring and leaving Maine, and Borders, and the Free Press, and Philippi, and well.. all kinds of other things.

Pretty much the only things I'll miss are Jon and my family.. but whatever.. we'll visit. I need a better eduction than I'm getting.. so I have to go to NY and chase it down.

I've got a job for the summer, I think, babysitting brats at a gym with my mom? Or if all else fails I'll just work at Borders more....

My mom thinks I should call about some job taking the like newborn pictures of baby's at hospitals.. I'm not sure about all that.

I have so much work I'm avoiding....

Nostalgia

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:23:38 GMT

So I was making lj's for my boss and her friend and teaching them how to use a community today, and it made me miss my own lj. As I always do.. after about 6 months of ignoring it completely.

I got to thinking about why I don't love writing about myself as much as I used to and I think I've figured it out. Now that I make everything friends only, and all my friends that used to use lj (back in the day) no longer read what I write and no one comments, so I guess this is my first 'get back into lj' post. I think I'm going to find some communities I like and see if I can't find some one interested in things I am that will read about my little life. :)

To start off I'm still in school at USM. I'm a sophomore 'art major' but really I'm just trying to graduate with the knowledge of how to make a proper website and how to work the production end of newspapers. The first goal is moving along quite nicely, the second, not so much. I have no time to get down to the Free Press to see how the production is done. I think I might make it a goal of mine to get down there tomorrow and really see what's going on.

Besides being in school I'm working 3 jobs. I still work for Caitlin.. she's the one I made the lj for today. Not much has changed about that job.. I run errands and maintain the website mostly. Although we did just have this ridiculous adventure and bought her a new computer.. that was hours and hours out of my life.. but it will make hers better so I was happy to do it.
Another job is Borders. Yes the book store. I'm a cashier.. and yea.. that's what I do.. 8 hours on Saturdays.. and 6 hours on Wednesdays..
Finally I work for the Free Press.. I get paid to put the new issue online every week that there's a paper.. it's pretty sweet. Good for the resume.. and will hopefully eventually lead me into to Production end when I find some time.

Thinking a little larger.. I plan to go to Italy next year.. Spring Abroad anyone? :) I've been spending way too much time online looking at $$ for my big plans.. and I'm really hoping it will become a reality. Right now the plan is to apply.. get in.. and take out a $20,000 loan and go.. easy enough right? heh

I guess that's all I can think of for now. Hopefully I'll be really board in my 6 hour class tomorrow and write in this again.

Friends Only

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:13:57 GMT

Comment and I will add you.