Hello world, this lj will henceforth be friends-only. I cleared my friends list so leave a msg if you want to read. (: If not, thanks for reading thus far.

Goodnight world! (:

<3 mich. 

The holidays have been mostly what I dreamt about. I wander around a lot, with a book as my constant companion. I fritter time away at cafes and coffee joints, where I give up making valiant efforts to suppress my caffeine addiction. I read, and lose myself in another's world. I spend the rest of my time relishing the holidays with jj. I finally went on an conventional date (because we've roamed the streets of Italy and tantalized our taste buds with to-die-for mille feuille at that random Parisan patisserie, but... we've never watched a movie together at OrchardRd) - the romantic comedy, the post-movie desserts at MaxBrenners.Chocolate.Bar, the walks around town. I meet up with a few friends I haven't met since June, though I never really left my shell. I satisfied some of my cravings aka marmalade.pantry's crabmeat linguine and icecreamchefs etc.
And then some. (:

I think I feel happy, whatever that means. Or I don't feel sad, whatever that means too.

But that's when I'm frolicking around with jj or a friend. Otherwise, I feel compelled to think; the so-what conundrum as I've coined it.
So what if and when my shoulder heals? So what if I get that personal best, or manage to complete my first triathlon or bike race? So what if I spend hours on training, when my comrades devote whatever spare time they have to gaining valuable legal knowledge? Are these really commensurate with the eventual outcomes; results that I may painstakingly attain, but in the large scheme of things, are really just.. less than mediocre?

Are these about the means, or the end?

I don't know. But after talking for a while with jj, and because of my irrational abhorrence of the notion of giving up.. I banish these thoughts to the back of my head for further rumination when I'm alone and my mind is left to wander.
Damnit... I think I'm lost again.

*

Anyhow, here are some happy pictures. (:



Bakerz.in's souffle did not satisfy my souffle craving.. I need my LaurentBernardChocolatier's gooey fudgey chocolate souffle!! The last time I ate it was a year ago on my 20th birthday. ):



Pigging out on fruit tarts with the law girls & guy. Whipped cream overload.

HTHT with dear KY (: I love love loveeee the crabmeat linguine!!!! I can't say the same for the ginger pudding.. I should have stuck with the famous sticky date pudding. ):



JJ and I went to our favourite kind of bar.. a chocolate bar. ((: Sinfully wondrous waffles and cookies and cream milk shake. I hope my body forgives me.
Rosti and sausages (and jap noodles and redbean pancake and beardpapas) at taka basement the other day. (:



Meetup with phyphy at some italian restaurant with horrid pasta... The salmon in my tagliatelle was literally a couple of bits and pieces.. the soup impressed us both though (:
JJ and I baked cookies! They were a failure, which depressed me. ):



(L-R) My brother and I, when he was visiting a few months back. Anyhow, I was devastated then because I just had my operation and my parents forbade me from having the crabmeat pasta.
The first meal I had when I came home from hall (grilled salmon with all the veggies I love); I think I almost cried mostly because I was so fed up with the hall food I could not eat, and because my dad's cooking is still the best in the world to me.
And... on the right is a lorry I saw at TH! I snapped a shot to show it to Lala (I hope you are reading!) (((:


*

Goodnight, world (:

F is for fear and fatigue.

[3pm, Monday]

So Banking didn't go too well this morning, which puts me in a rather glum state right now. I spent the last few hours feeling sad and running around, getting nothing done because of silly things I do - like leaving my thumbdrive at home, and then leaving my matriculation card in the LT.

Good-natured strangers make me smile though, like the nice lady at the Management office who sincerely tried her best to help me when I reported my lost card, and insisted that I take a free mug from the office because "you look so disappointed".

I shall remember what I feel now, so that I'll remember that I won't want to feel this way when CredSec is over on wednesday. I will conquer it, yes I will. RAWR.

I'm sitting in the dark at the benches in front of LKY school, waiting for my dad to pick me up; I somewhat wish i were alone (there are some late-night muggers around) in the wind, the tranquility of the night, and the comforts of the company of myself.

Anyway, I'm writing to say thank you.
Thank you friends for the concern, it definitely made the day - when I wrote the last entry - brighter.
Thank you JJ for talking, thank you lala for dropping by my room and cheering me up by leaps and bounds(!!!!) with your cheery talk and company (and greenteacake!), thank you lemin for your msg and advice (even though you need tuition on blog perception skills again.. b/c i wasn't talking about the exams hahah! :)), thank you zy, keying, zhi and lu for caring too. Thanks all, it really means a lot to me (:
And.. yup! I've moved home heh. I managed to not be so emo these few days while I'm within the four (cushioned) walls of home. (:

I miss my friends, especially those whom I've not met in months! I can't wait for freedom in a week's time. ((:

(edited @ 8.40am, thursday)
I'm scared; of the unknown, the uncertain, the what-ifs, the irrevocable paths that I may take, and of couse, I'm scared because I've no time to finish studying for exams sigh. I've been sending prayers to the heavens above these few days, begging for strength to overcome life's adversities..
I desperately need some beach resort holiday after all these!!

(ranting needed @ 8.19pm)
Current Stress Level = SKY HIGH!!!!!!!!!!! Why in the world are there so many cases!!!!!!

I told myself I'd spare everyone the misfortune of clicking on my lj url and seeing yet another emo nemo post.
But here I am again, with a tear-stained face, and a fragile heart. If only I was just upset about the impending exams.

I miss home. I just called my daddy. I'm going home.