Morbid Confessions of a Modern Sinner

Dyed my hair red and finally did that long-in-the-waiting shoot with my jacket. I kept wanting to finish more stuff to go with it first; this thing's been delayed since early spring. I love how it turned out though - thanks goes to Izta for taking the pictures.





( Moar )

Time for an update!


Life seems to be moving fast lately. Every day comes with things to do in it now. For a long time I've identified inactivity and procrastination as the main obstacles holding me back from even greater awesomeness, and even though I learned a lot of useful things during all those hours lounging behind the computer doing nothing in particular, I think this (slightly) more focused approach is a big step forward. I'd like to take credit for this change, but it might just be all that cheap toxic-purple energy drink I've been consuming recently.

I've got a lot of creative projects lying around now. Outfit concepts to complete; clothes and accessories to make or find for them; photography and makeup skills to learn to realise them; random utilities like a room and a bike to decorate... every idea approaching completion comes with two new ones that might complement it. My imagination was running ahead of things when I was doing next to nothing, but it doesn't seem intent on losing its head start anytime soon. Stuff rarely gets 'finished', but some of it manages to be pretty cool even in the meantime.

Izta pierced my nipples this monday, and they're looking good so far. Yay for DIY and saving some hundred bucks. The rings seem like they should've been there ages ago; it was weirder to not have them before than it is to see them there now. Next up: replace my navel bar!


And it's party season again! Outdoors goa parties ftw. Gawd, but those things are fun. The party and recovery period does take a big bite out of your week when you're otherwise keeping busy, but the exploration of different states of mind always pays back for it in fresh creative impulses.


Oh, and I've had a new myspace for a while now; I even managed to finish writing half of a new profile to replace that ancient crap I've been copying from my VF for a year or four now. I used to dislike myspace for its crappy technical performance, but man, there's some cool people on there. It's easy to start feeling self-satisfied and disenchanted with alternative fashion when you're just living in your local scene with only a handful of people doing vaguely interesting things - looking through some of the real 'stars' out there puts things in nice new perspective. Miles to go yet, Raza boy!

I quite appreciate the art of voicing a horribly unpopular opinion in an entirely likable fashion, and I'm glad I finally took the chance to read this book. I should only wish that every sentence printed in it weren't one more that I can never speak without quoting someone now.

Why do people always turn stupid when they're angry? Or is it just that people that are already dumb get angry more often?

Even if an angry individual has suffered an actual wrong, they always exaggerate the implications to the point where you cannot possibly rationally agree with them anymore. Of course, being angry and all, they're not going to take it well if you tell them that...

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Well, if I am going to be damning myself anyway, I'll damn well do it speaking my mind.


/end random observation.

Protective eyewear recommended




( Ze goggles, zey do nothing! )

( For Great Justice )

Kay, bored now.

Tokyo Decadence was pretty awesome. The people were far more dressed up than at most goth parties, and the styles were far more varried. It's nice to get a look at what you can do with color beyond the same-old cyber spectrum.

The shows varried a bit, but outside of the local M-fashion lolitas, each was worth watching for weirdness value alone; actual performing qualities were icing on the cake.

The music was quite alright too, after the self-invited surprise dj had been eliminated. I was expecting J-rocky stuff to go with the aesthetic, which I've never managed to enjoy much, but as it turned out Anna was DJing - which is always good - and the other DJ was quite alright too, as well as totally awesome looking.


It appears this was a one-time event as the TD crew 'tours' europe. That's sortof a shame, since I rather enjoyed the change from the usual goth and cyber parties, but then I couldn't afford to pay for something like this regularly anyway.



No pics of the actual party yet, but here's us in our outfits:


( Moar )

( And I Meow Meow Meow )

When life has slipped behind this isolation
Cruelty & hatred have become
The cause of those whose eyes are full of wanting
The truth will still abandon none...
So you must carry this light into the darkness
You shall be a star unto the night
You will find hope alive among the hopeless
That is your purpose to this life

I've been told, a while after I picked the name, that "Raza" means "Ray of Light" in some eastern european language; I keep forgetting which. My 'purpose' to life is selfish, though... live for fun, experience, pleasure. It is rational, it is convenient, it is pleasant.

The lips draw words
And hands find actions
Still there is more within one heart
And to the silence, will you answer?
Before the chaos, will you come?

But I know how things could be done. How problems could be fixed, how conflicts could be solved, how 'good' and 'justice' could be defined to function. And those very concepts, damned for the abstraction and self-serving stupidity they're almost always used with, cease necessarily being empty and meaningless. There's no reason to pick them up, mind, but they're there and oh-so-shiny...

Stand up when no one else is willing
Act not in hatred or in spite

There's hateful injustice in this world that no one will stand up to, that no one recognises. That the most vocal proponents of 'righteousness' join in on more fiercely than anyone. But why fight the lost fight when you can sit back, smile wryly at the irony and enjoy yourself in spite of it?

Be to this world as a perfect knight

It's always been a fool's dream. The self-righteous are the greatest hypocrites, the most dedicated the least capable. But the opportunity glares, and wouldn't it be oh-so-beautiful?

I'll never do it, though. Romanticism may shine through on occasion, courage and ability aren't lacking, but sloth conquers eventually and inevitably. For the better, perhaps, but it is sad that I don't seem to truly have the choice.

New pictures. This shoot actually turned out fairly awful, with the sunlight and its annoying downward angle ruining all but a few pictures, but a handful turned out salvagable.



( MOAR )

Ok, so last weekend we had a bit of a zombie outbreak, massacre of the living and distasters laying waste to the city and all that. The aftermath looked really cool in a cyberpunk-sortof-way, so we decided it was time for a photoshoot!




( A New World Disorder )

I don't need a popular excuse to have fun, ktnx.

Hedonist 365/27

I'm a kitten! Took new pics with Izta. Wheee.

Light's not so good in winter, though. Or maybe because it's clouded. Flash is teh suxx0r.




( Furry pr0n ftw )

Apparently, that post was worthless without pics. o.0



Mew?

I'm wearing my kitty ears and looking totally cute.


Wheeeeee ^_^

*dances*

<3?

New pictures, first half of this lot. They look a lot like the last set, I know. 
This one was supposed to end in a striptease to make it original,
 but towards the end it was getting dark and pics started turning out bad. 

Maybe more soon.




( Don't worry, no nudity behind this cut. )

Parents just left to greece. I've got the house to myself for three weeks! w00t!

So now what... teh internets are boring me. xD

Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna feel your body)
Boys Boys be my boy (Tonight I'm ready honey)
Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna be your lover girl)
Be my lover boy

Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna feel your body)
Boys Boys be my boy (Tonight I'm ready honey)
Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna be your lover girl)
Be my lover boy

Hot summer time
Always something on my mind
A kind of magic in the air
I'm on the run
To a sunny paradise
With crowded beaches everywhere

I'm just a girl who's looking for some fun
It's time to get things started
So come on everybody

Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna feel your body)
Boys Boys be my boy (Tonight I'm ready honey)
Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna be your lover girl)
Be my lover boy

Hot summer night
Always makes me loose control
It feels like heaven now I'm free

And all the boys
If you want to feel the heat
Just come along and play with me

I'm just a girl who's looking for some fun
It's time to get things started
So come on everybody

Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna feel your body)
Boys Boys be my boy (Tonight I'm ready honey)
Boys Boys be my boy (I wanna be your lover girl)
Be my lover boy 




I want a boytoy... but there's so few I find attractive! And I can't seem to lower my standards, it's enough of an efford to keep them where they are when all I ever get is girls.

Not that I don't like those xD. <3 girls. But I want variety!

Ik wil een vriendje en een vriendinnetje! Eentje met fel roze haar en eentje met een hanekam. En ik wil een haarband met pikachu oortjes, en fluffy hotpants met de staart. En chocola, veel chocola. En mijn eigen kerk, om bizarre feestjes in te houden en het afbreken van normen en waarden te stimuleren. En en...





Muahaha. Ik weet niet waarom liefde mij opeens zoveel bezighoud de laatste maanden, zorgen maken om dingen die ik niet heb is niks voor mij. Moet weer eens iets gaan doen met men leven denk ik, verveel me teveel. Baantje zoeken zodat ik weer wat geld kan uitgeven, en dan op avontuur ofzo. Jeugd is veel te leuk om te verspillen met dingen die ik daarnaa ok nog kan doen!