no sleep [30 Aug 2008|06:03am] hahaidkkk [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Fire On The Mountain - The Grateful Dead ] So I saw Bob Weir & Ratdog and the Allman Brothers in Chicago yesterday with Liz which was pretty lifechanging. I remember this one part where Bob was playing & I was thinking like, I'm so excited to be young. I was so happy... Idk, but we were blazed out of our skulls. Currently it's 6am and I havent fallen asleep yet. Why? Because I finnnallllyyy quit smoking today and I'm using the patch but I can't go to bed without a cig. OH and I really REALLY want to chop my hair off like real real short. Should I do it?! post comment

OH, A SWELL! [30 Aug 2008|12:09am] mrwallrushatesu [ mood | cynical ] as if a swell of a swell bending branches and blurting rain the clouds moved like sullen whales with danger sail wondering through their wake. sliced macintosh wet and fresh on peach counter tops on bright spring days swinging till dizzy and sore you'd weep for more if your body could spawn an individual campasion for sever mornings and in deathly silence of dawn if creeks swiftly damaging my soul. no soul. on hold... for gold. 8/25 curled up in a blue blanket in the sloset i stay silver shaking up my insides denied my magic pill for some time and ive opened the window real wide and i can hear the distant wind of cars zooming past and i wait while my mind wanders back to the smoking porch and to the man who never stops cleaning told me he feels as if he has forgotten something naggingly if not asleep beside his stuffed mammal. 8/26 all you can do here is sit sleep smoke or write i met with the doctor became manic then left crying its all very intence although the atmosphere here is dim or dull to say the least ive almost smoke two packs today... 8/27 the crooked girl sits in the crooked kitchen in a crooked chair crying. and not a soul dares to ask why. for fear is contagious and the drowning will pull you under in desperation to reach for a single breath of oxygen. with salt water in her lungs she suffers in silent whimpers. 1 comment|post comment

westbrook sucks [30 Aug 2008|12:07am] taylorannavis [ mood | motherly ] nothing new. post comment

another update. [29 Aug 2008|09:04pm] yellow_birdd Today was my first full day of school and the longest, most exhausting day I've had in my life. I don't know how I'm going to survive a million more days like today. I like all my teachers, but I hate all of my classes, seeing as I know a total of one or less people in each one. I have no classes with Courtney or Alexa, which was all I wanted but I guess it's too much to ask. I barely get to see them throughout the day, which makes the day a lot harder to stand. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hate everyone lately. Most likely if you go to my school, I don't like you, just because I don't care enough to try and like you..I think I just realized though, that all I need and will eveer need is Ryan, Courtney, and Alexa. Nothing else is solid in my life except those three and I really do not need anyone, as long as I've got them.. Anyways, my drama teacher, she's the best thing in the world. That'll probably be my favorite class, once I learn to get over being so nervous around people...yeah, right. Today was just so tiring and monotonous, and Jordan came over for a little while after I got home and I accidentally fell asleep on her, and when I woke up she was gone...wupps. But despite how exhausted I'm going to be from now until next June, I'm kind of grateful for school. It's definitely keeping my mind away from Bryan and I certainly can't glue myself to my bed and cry all hours of the day if I'm at school now, can I? Everything reminds me of him, and I miss him so much, but yet I can't even stand what he's done to me and more so how he doesn't even know... So when his relationship with this new girl fails, and he whines about he always get fucked over, I hope he also realizes that he let go of the one person that was never going to hurt him, and that loved him for who he was..hour away or not. He was everything I could ever ask for, but everything he thought he wasn't. And I think it's just so funny how when we were dating I had a dream that he left me for an asian girl, and when I told him, he told me how that would never happen because he hates asians, and now he's forgotten all about me for his new ugly asian girlfriend. It rules... I'm going to find someone a lot better than him, I just hope that this someone is as perfect for me as I thought he was. I still can't even get it through my skull that he was just playing games, and I wish he could feel how much he hurt me..My feelings were so real, and I don't want to have to believe that everything he ever said he didn't mean. I don't think I could ever trust him again. It's bad, but I just keep hoping that he gets let down or denied, so that he can crawl back to me, but letting him? now would be a big mistake. one i'm not willing to make.. "I get distracted from the sadness while I'm constantly running around, but not being able to perform a simple task reminds me. I can't tell if the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach is from missing you, knowing I have to get over you, not missing you as much as I thought I would, realizing things I couldn't see when you were in front of me, knowing I'm not the only person feeling like they don't know you anymore, or because there's nothing inside of it. You're about to realize that you have lost a lot of people that you don't know you're losing. I wish you could just be the same person no matter who you were with. You mold to fit whoever you're around, and in the process have damaged a lot of people who loved you for who you really are. You should have appreciated when you had what you always asked for, instead you manipulated and took advantage."-anna wrote that, but that's exactly what i've been feeling. One last thing I want to get off my chest--I miss Ryan more than I've ever missed anything in my life. I feel like I'm physically missing something now that he's gone, like a part of my body....a really important part....like my big toe or something. My mom keeps saying how she doesn't think he's not going to move back to Illinois after he finishes college, and that he'll stay in New York. She's probably right, I just don't want to believe that. But all that means is, that I'm probably going to college in New York then...Which I don't mind, since that's what I wanted to do all along. Where ever he goes, I go. I can't stand being away from him. Speaking of, I mailed him a bunch of ridiculous things today. I sent him a giant envelope filled with drawings, 3D glasses, a piece of candy that dropped on the floor, a birthday candle, a texas roadhouse magnet, and a cough drop. And he mailed me our book that we're making today also. I'm so excited to get it and see what he put inside. And it'll also give me something to do when I'm bored in school all week. I might scan and post some of the things in the book, so you all can see. It's adorable, the whole concept of it.. 2 comments|post comment

[29 Aug 2008|05:53pm] seabreathe i seriously, and completely am in love with my roommates.

buierthdfay [29 Aug 2008|02:26pm] _x__monotone [ mood | anxious ] [ music | kanye ] Berfday.( ;)who am i ) 2 comments|post comment

Yayy update! [29 Aug 2008|02:21pm] ed_progresspics [naughtyslacks] Hiii everyone. So I created this community, and I'm the ONLY mod here, and I approve or decline every single post that comes in, so don't worry about commenting on which posts should and shouldn't be here. I know the rules, I made them up! lol. :o) Oh - and I've been keeping up really well with everything lately. I told you all I would once I got my internet hooked back up after I moved! Anyway - just a little reminder about the rules again. 1.) In the rules it states that not all of the posts have to be progress pictures. "This community is for posting pictures of yours or anyone else's progress. You can also post pictures of any REAL person that you've seen that could be considered thinspiration. However, we don't want to see celebrities or models." AND 2.) You must be 18+ if you post pictures in your underwear or nude. If you are under the age of 18, posting nude, underwear, or sexually suggestive pictures is not allowed. The community can be deleted by Livejournal if this happens. YOUR AGE MUST BE IN EVERY POST. If you are over the age of 18, you CAN post these type of pictures if you want. I REPEAT - stop posting pictures in your underwear if you're under 18. Thanks. I've had to turn down awesome posts because there is one or two pictures of the person in their underwear. It's just a reminder and a notice for all the new people too! You guys have been doing really well with adding your age in every post and I'm sooo grateful. Okay that's enough, this is short and sweet today. :o) Take care & be careful, everyone. <3 post comment

[29 Aug 2008|10:47am] _her_terrorless post comment

I'm glad I found my old pictures. [28 Aug 2008|09:11pm] polaroide [7dayrental] [ music | SRV: Texas Flood ] The things that I used to do Lord, I won't do no more I used to sit and hold your hand darlin' And cry, oh babe do not go post comment

Age: 22 [27 Aug 2008|11:17pm] ed_progresspics [ditchinzimbabwe] I'm moving soon for an internship for a year: away from all family and away from all friends.  I am so excited! No one will bother me or tempt me to eat.  I hope to lose at least 10lbs this first month.  I'm aiming for (max) 300cals/day and the majority of which will come from some sort of energy/meal bar.   Am I COMPLETELY insane?  Has anyone else felt a huge amount of relief at finally being able to delve deeper into your disorder without anyone around, such as when you go back to school/uni or something?  I'll be sure to post some pictures once progress occurs! And, to make it not text-only: Picture 1 Picture 2 (look at those legs!) Picture 3 (okay, this one is rather...suggestive, but eh.) 23 comments|post comment

my second period class [28 Aug 2008|10:15pm] teapot_brigade [ mood | thirsty ] makes me want to shoot myself in the MO'FUQQINNG HEAAAAD. why are all of the guys in the senior class so god damn obnoxious? and basically all of the creepiest girls at our school happen to be in that class as well. and it also happens to be government which happens to be during the elections which makes me happen to be in the one lucky class that gets government during the elections which only happens once every four years. WHY-IS-THIS-HAPPENING? 1 comment|post comment

[29 Aug 2008|12:08am] backtoarms I painted my nails red tonight with ICE Mint Dream on top of the red.. it's the coolest color ever now. I can't even describe it. I can slowly feel my contact starting to hurt my eye, but I can't find my glasses anywhere. They're usually in my room right below my mirror next to my hair products and brushes.. but they're not there. I looked in my bag and in the bathroom. They're the only places they could possibly be. I hope I don't get another infection by time morning comes.. especially if I can't find my glasses. I just found my glasses! For some reason.. they're in this room by the mirror. I must have had things backwards when I wore them last. ( I haven't played with pictures in a while.. ) 5 comments|post comment

FUquUQq [28 Aug 2008|08:59pm] teapot_brigade [ mood | pessimistic ] i don't care if it offends you but man oh man do christians annoy the living shit out of me. well, not all of them, just the ones who force feed you the bible and say your views and opinions are wrong just because some book that's not even near realistic tells them it is. WAH WAH WAH. 2 comments|post comment

[28 Aug 2008|11:14pm] uhhohexposed i like that our favorite show is good eats and that we both do not like dogs. post comment

Nmhbdfgxcasjk [28 Aug 2008|08:06pm] _x__monotone --Follow your heart post comment

[28 Aug 2008|05:21pm] yellow_birdd And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem; You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans. post comment

Exhausted [28 Aug 2008|11:10pm] timeiswarped [ music | The Cure ] Seriously. I woke up at 6:30am yesterday and drove my lad to the airport, he'll be gone for two weeks. Later I spent the night with two of my best friends, we got incredibly wasted and went to sleep at 8 in the morning. I got home not two hours ago, sleepless and hungry. I'm not complaining though, it's been good. Except that I miss my freckled lad already. post comment

[28 Aug 2008|10:04am] lauren00b [ music | The Maine ] I love slow-synchro. Winky-tounge-out-face. Yesterday Leah and I went to Slater park where I got attacked by a flock of geese hahah. They were so pissed at me I swear. They kept hissing and walking towards me. It was actually kind of scary hahah. We went to the little animal farm they have there but none of the animals were out, it was lame. The weather was so nice though so just walking around was nice. Afterwards we went to Unos and split Pizza Skins and a Pizza, delisshhhh. I love those Pizza Skins so much. Later we went out with Kayla so she could pick up a few things she needed. We rented Love Actually because Leah had never seen it. I love that movie so much. It made me want Christmas to come, like now. I love all the characters, accept that whore with the stupid devil horns. I've been thinking so hard about what to do for Mike and I's one year. Blahh I have no clue, I can only think of a few things. I'm bad at this kind of stuff. Before I went out yesterday I had a stupid mental breakdown, I always get those lately. I think so far into things and I just get so upset. It's so frustrating but being out with my friends takes my mind off of it. I miss Mike. I need plans for today. I hate how I have work tonight. post comment

if there is one thing absolutely everyone should ever know about me: [28 Aug 2008|04:21am] taylorannavis [ mood | infuriated ] it's i'm completely... utterly.. insanely... absolutely crazy about getting even... getting the last word... getting revenge. i have a passion for fucking people over who fucking deserve it. i have no remorse, no regrets, no feeling about it at all. i strongly believe in karma and strongly believe in creating it. if it makes me a shitty person, guess what? i don't give a fucking shit. the second you do me wrong is the second i start plotting against you. all these ways i've thought of sabotaging has come full circle and come into play. i don't feel bad about it at all. this is the way i live. post comment

the air sure is polluted [28 Aug 2008|12:09am] spritzofsparky spiraling down down doooooowwwwnnnnnnnn post comment

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