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How time flies //

Hello, how are you?

Can you believe how fast time has passed? This entry that I'm typing out right now, is actually going to be posted ahead of my "friends-locked" entry? An entry I set 10 years after the date I created this journal as a silly 14 year old, thinking that this day would never come?

Nothing lasts forever. Someone told me that hitting the big 25, the big Quarter Life Crisis year is when you start categorising friends (and life in general) into Puddles and Oceans. Will I cross oceans for you? Or mere puddles? Will you do the same back?

When I was younger, I had many oceans. I lost many of them along the way because I didn't treasure them enogh, or because I realized that I was never gonna be their ocean. I learned how to let go. Today, I think I have less than 5.

And most days I think I am okay with that.

"魅力无法蛋"

Work has been a super steep learning curve. I love my job, but there are days when I still fear going in, worrying that there would be patients that I can't handle, things I cannot do.

Press on Jess!
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Some things are more than words. 

2014

Here's a look back at 2014 (yes, I'm keeping to my promise for once) It's definitely been a rollercoaster year (probably the most roller-coasterly in my life), and while I sit here on the last day of the year feeling blessed, happy & more loved than ever before, I am so glad for the year to be over. Alright, let's see how this year went down. I don't actually remember a lot of these so I'm relying on my organizer & instagram for this, haha.

P.S: This entry is Mother Long.
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And then it ended. I spent the last moments of 2014 with my family. We had hotpot, then made coconut shakes. After that, my mother insisted on making us carry our craft table downstairs so we could all hang out together. We counted down in front of the TV, shouting embarrassingly and loudly during the countdown, and then opened a bottle of red wine.

Here's to the new year. 
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year guys!

The main reason for posting is for myself to test out how super freaking fast and smooth my macbook is now!!! *hugs and kisses it* I just got it back from the servicing company today and it's working like a charm now :)

Since I now have plenty of time I'm thinking of making up my lack of posting for the entire past year & writing a year long post (because I'm THAT pleased with my macbook, yes)
Was going to post about Korea (which happened exactly 1 year & 1 day ago HA HA HA) but the photos I uploaded kept cocking up and refusing to post themselves.

Anyway, I have a grand total of 5 days left in Sydney. Five. I still remember January 2011, before I upped and left for the adventure of a lifetime. I was having dinner with my family on a very normal night, when I looked around and realized that I was going to be leaving all of them soon. I remember having to run upstairs in the middle of dinner because I was exploding into a ball of tears.

Leaving this time is going to be worse. Last time, I was alway comforted by the fact that I would be going back eventually. But this time I know what I'm leaving behind, and also that it would be a very, very, very long time if (I ever) come back again.

Sigh. Sydney has stolen my heart :(

What is growing up? Is it graduating from uni, starting a job, and earning your keep? Is it the ability to take care of your parents, allowing them to finally retire in peace? (Well, this is for mum, my dad has been happily retired for the past 2 or so years) Or is it wanting to live a slow, happy life, and stop playing games? Maybe it is all of the above. I know for sure that I am definitely out of the game.

I can't get over this.

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I always believed that a Good Holiday is one that makes you snooty, that makes you think, "Oh, I can never do this (e.g. climb a mountain/ cycle/ run to lighthouses) anywhere else in the world again, everything is just sub par."

Well, the Great Barrier Reef just made me snooty about life in general. Oh, I can never live the same way again, everything in the world is just sub par.
Re-reading my posts from 2011 (when I first came to Sydney). I was really happy back then. (Okay la to be fair I'm very happy now too, but in a completely different way). As I read my old posts, I found myself being jealous of this stupid biatch who is happy over NONSENSE all the time and posting things like "Oh, I got HD for both subjects but I'm only happy with one of the grades." Bitch.

Which is why I was very happy to finally find a sad post:
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I'm so bitter hahaha wtf!!!

Need to re-find the me who always found happiness in the simplest things.

Nov. 7th, 2014

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Whoops, slightly late, but here's to the end of October, and the start of November. The best month in my books but it also feels like it's come way too quickly this year. Where has all the time gone? It feels like just yesterday I was getting off a plane from Darwin, all ready to begin the semester and now you're telling me my thesis is due in 4 days?!

That said, in the past 4 years I've always maintained that I don't feel any different from when I was 18. True to my 'Sagittarian Traits' I have always been 'disarmingly happy' with 'undying optimism'. My 'livejournal mood' has been 'chipper' in 90% of my posts since I was 14. In these short 12 weeks I am now... (finally, thank god I'm actually growing up) suddenly 23. I worry that my thesis is not going to be good enough (Jessica normally does NOT worry! Worrying is for old people.). My favorite part of every day is cooking dinner and chilling out in my room & feeling '幸福'. I didn't make any concrete graduation trip plans (apart from traveling around Australia) because.. I realized that there was nothing out there that I wanted/ needed to see. Lastly, my livejournal mood today is 'contemplative'. And the worst part is, I have no idea how it happened! Losing track of time is definitely another 'Old Person' trait. Oh golly gosh, I am old!!