hanging in the balance

a life in limbo


101 Things in 1001 Days [ sticky / public ]
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poisonous__
Bolded items: completed goals.
Italic items: in progress goals.

101 Things in 1001 DaysCollapse )

Each time I complete a goal, I will be updating this list as well as posting an entry in my journal about it. Large goals that are completed will be posted about in mission101_2009 in addition to my personal journal. Goal entries will be tagged with their # as well as the "101 things" tag, to make it easier to follow. These goal entries will be public, as my family wants to follow along with my progress.

I can't wait to start!

101 Things: Massive update, goals completed & in progress
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poisonous__
Are you guys ready for this? I haven't updated this list in FOREVER and I have crossed off quite a few goals, as well as started some other ones!

Here we go ...Collapse )

Phew! That felt good! And now to keep working on the other ones ...
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Writer's Block: On the (Job) Hunt
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poisonous__
What's the hardest part about looking for a new job?


The fact that NO ONE IS HIRING.

the tarot and its energy; 101 things, goals completed, #50-51
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poisonous__
thanks to q1, i was able to cross off a goal (#51) on my list: receive a tarot deck.

what she sent me has the most awesome, amazing power i have ever been able to hold in my hands. it is the Thoth deck, and as soon as i put my hands on them, it was instant syncopation. my energy melded with its energy and i could feel it quivering through my body.

i handled these cards at every moment i got, slept with them in my pillow case, and carried them in my purse, in a pocket right next to my body. just thinking about them now, i can feel their energy coming through my bag and making me tremble. i never thought i had such a sense about me, but this proves it.

even with life getting in the way of handling these cards, they still give me eerily accurate readings. i go straight by my intuition; i have started studying the meanings of the cards and keeping them in a small journal, but what i feel the moment i flip or lay the card down is what it means to me. it's good to know the meaning but sometimes, it just doesn't matter.

yesterday, i was able to cross off another goal, #50, which was to have my tarot read again. i was at NESAD, working on some hand-drawn animation cells and tweening them, when i heard the librarian begin talking about cards, and the feeling she was getting from them, giving a person a reading. i quickly finished up and walked over. she had the Osho-Zen deck, which I had never seen before but was immediately taken by them too. we began talking about our decks, and i brought mine out of my bag (i immediately felt the zap of, "HEY! You've been neglecting us!") and she felt the power of the deck. it felt SO GOOD to have them back in my hands, i immediately began shuffling and fidgeting. my friend rachel was standing next to me, and we allt hought it would be cool to do readings for each other and see if the decks would have similar outcomes.

long story short, holy shit. i did a reading for rachel, the librarian, and myself, and the librarian did one for rachel, myself, and herself. i cannot even BEGIN to tell you all how eerie it was. the similarities in each reading were mind-boggling. after i read the librarian's cards, i was positively squirming with energy. i felt like i could run a marathon and not be tired at the end of 26.2 miles. it was incredible.

after i read my own though, i was completely drained and shaky. i nearly fell over onto the floor! i could have taken a nap right then and there. the strange thing about it, is we ALL felt that same surge in energy, and the same tiredness afterwards. there was a crazy connection.

without even knowing it, we used the same elemental spread (1 card in east, south, west, north, and a 5th representing the seeker). i will eventually be moving to d.c., and her daughter is moving there in september (another connection). what brought us together was the tarot.

i don't really know how else to explain it, but it was magical and eerie and supremely wonderful all at the same time. i've discovered that my deck tends to lean more to the realistic side of things (some would say that it leans towards the negative, but i disagree), instead of being idealistic and more hopeful. i am okay with that--tell me like it is, don't lead me on this journey only to have a huge letdown at the end.

at first i was dealing cards at random, but the librarian suggested i just let the cards pop out at me. well, when that happened, they were literally falling out of my hands! with her deck, the first two popped right out, including a double, and after more shuffling and just letting go of whatever was blocking me, the other 3 came. i found it easy to read her deck and i felt very drawn to it.

the same thing happened with my cards. i started shuffling, and BAM! cards were dropping. i had two doubles and i knew exactly where they all should go. sooo cool.

and now i'm feeling the pull of the cards in my bag ...

some things
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poisonous__
i have not forgotten your requests, q1 and snappyappy. those entries are coming. :)

i am trying to write my senior statement for the senior show and it is harder then any paper i have ever had to write. how do i talk about my experiences and about me without mentioning how much i fucking hate NESAD and the BS they put me through over italy? i don't even know where to begin when it comes to talking about my work or how i got started or where my creativity came from, especially when i went against my mom's wishes and chose to be an art major. it's frustrating.

how would you write a statement about me?

at least things at home are 1000%x better then they were before. my sister wrote an email for me that i sent to my mom and we have been getting along very well. she supports me in my eventual move to d.c., but she agreed immediately after graduation is not a good idea, especially with no money saved up and an economy in the shitter. one to one-point-five years here in boston, let the economy/job market pick back up, and then go at it full-fucking-force.

there is so much work to be done for tomorrow and i have NOTHING done. plus, i am worried sick over lola, who has been throwing up and had diarrhea for the past two days--but she is her normal silly self. they did a fecal sample yesterday to check for parasites but never called my mom back, and when she called the hospital number they gave her, they wouldn't answer ANY questions and only said, "it's $147 to just walk in the door." what the fuck?

in addition to everything else on my plate, i began interning at a museum. this museum to be exact (totally understand if you don't want to explore the EXTREMELY poorly done website but in person it is an amazing place). my history professor is the curator there, and they have one of the most amazing collections of artifacts from the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries. there is a chair currently on display that, if sold, would fetch a few million. i'm learning about designing exhibits (did my first one yesterday with the other intern and my good friend michael), creating NICE labels for the artifacts on display, playing with cool artifacts, and will eventually be designing brochures, a WINE LABEL and possibly the BOTTLE, and anything else they can throw my way. currently i'm working on illustrating historically accurate pirate flags as well as a brochure/map of plymouth's burial hill. my professor/curator is the most generous man, the kindest man, and i consider myself to be extremely lucky to be learning under him and helping him out in the museum. he has my loyalty for the rest of my life.

i'll also be modeling in future exhibits for him, in an 18th century gown (this may ALSO occur on HORSEBACK), a riding habit, and in a drinking exhibit he'll be doing soon where i get to be the pin-up girl, the tavern wench, and a Victorian lady (the exhibit will examine drinks and drinking from the 17th century up to at least the 1950s or possibly present times). i'd bend over backwards for him.

in the summertime i will probably end up doing tours down there. this is so good for me, because i would KILL to work in one of the smithsonian museums, or for nat. geo., or anything else museum-related down there.

yup, i'm on my way to becoming a rock star.

Writer's Block: Seven
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poisonous__
Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?

Of course I had to answer this. Lust is at the top. I am also capable of Greed, Anger, Gluttony, Envy and Pride ... hell even Sloth. But yes, Lust is number one.

101 Things : Goals in Progress, #1-4, #11
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poisonous__
Well, I started my list in the hours before 2009 officially came in, because I couldn't help it any longer! I am hoping that same drive and devotion will be present as the list grows shorter.

The goals that I began to work on are: #1, carry my camera with me everywhere; #2, stop holding back my feelings; #3, be kinder to others; #4, be more open to my friends and family; and #11, keep up with my manicure on my own. These goals, like a lot of the goals I listed, will be in progress until the end of the 1001 days; you can't just do these things once and call it a day!

Last night I documented the crazy NYE celebration I went to at a friend's house. There were just a few of us, maybe 8 or 9, lots of booze, and nibblies--crackers, various cheeses, a sausage that was ... well I'm not going there. It was quite the interesting time. This celebration began all of the goals listed above. To take pictures, to stop holding back, to be kind, to be more open, and to have a sweet manicure. ;)

I was able to begin that journey prior to the stroke of midnight thanks to the people around me. I had felt for a long time that there was some bad air between myself and a few others at the party. Last night I didn't hold back, and I was open to them all, and it was just wonderful. I had so much fun, laughed so hard, fell over 3 times, and fell in love with my friends all over again. They are some of the greatest people on the face of the planet and I am so lucky to have them.

It's hard for me to choose an image from last night that best describes the evening. But, heres one of my friend Joey and my friend Dawn, giggling and laughing, all blurry ... because that's how I was seeing things most of the night. ;)

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have you heard the news baby?
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