In the spirit of
Bitch's "Jane Petty Criticism Corner," I've got some petty criticism of my own to get to.
Well, first of all, I'll admit I'm slightly ashamed to
make this petty criticism, as it means that, yes, I, intelligent, free-willed woman, was voluntarily watching MTV's Spring Break programming. My head is bowed in shame, I'm blushing, etc. But it was late. I was tired. And I saw it. And then I saw her-- yes, her, that dynamite, can't-wait-to-rip-her-hair-out, at-times-nasty bisexual bachelorette. Tila.
If you know anything about my favorite blogging topics, you'll know that I looooove to blog about T. T. Because there's always--
always--something to say. For example, last night, when Ms. Tequila was hosting
Tila Tequila's Fantasy Couple on MTV Spring Break '08. Here's a little sampling:
In this clip, Tilz has the contestants do some physicalized version of a dirty joke, involving "getting in your pants," hardyharhar. But what irritated me here was the language that Ryan Stout (uh, great name, by the way, bud) and Tila used to explain the "challenges" to their Spring Break Potential Fantasy Couples-- which, at this point, were composed of two straight couples and two gay female couples (more on this later).
Despite these not-even-a-gay-minority numbers (50%, y'all!), Ryan & T.T. say that "in this round, the guys are going to climb into the cage while their girlfriends" shove the inflatable balloon people in their pants blahblahblah. Emphasis on "the guys" and "their girlfriends."
Hello!? Tila and Ryan, I
know that you had a prepared script of some sort, but shouldn't you be able to uh, I don't know,
tweak your language when HALF OF YOUR "GUYS" are WOMEN?! And this wasn't the "hey, you guys" sort of "guys," it was clearly MALE guys, as in "
the guys," as in "boyfriends."
I'm probably doing a grand job of moutain-ing a molehill, but let's be frank: TILA IS BI (or so she says, because after this, I'm sort of wondering). Sure, this is MTV Spring Break, not
LoGo on demand. But, come on: she was in a fucking
committed relationship with another woman. Yet, suddenly, here is this
same woman rendering two of the partners invisible because they are supposed to shuffle themselves into the heterosexual norm terminology? "Oh, okay, I guess you guy be the 'boy' while I be the 'girlfriend'..." Which is something that happens everyday. But why was it happening here? When half of the couples were lesbian couples? WITH A BISEXUAL HOST?
I mean, does she not see that the female couples could have easily been her? Perhaps that "gay side" has been forced into hibernation ever since
Shot at Love ended and, suddenly, Tila had gone too far into lesbianity-- like, you know, she started actually
liking women instead of just kissing and showing for the enjoyment of frat boys worldwide.
And that's the other thing. I know that this may have been "Tila's Fantasy Couple," and I understand that Tila, if she were to be in a same-sex relationship, would be with a woman, but she really is giving the gay guys a tough break. Aka my sociology paper on how gay guys have it harder (oh god, was that dirty?) than gay women in terms of negative prejudice and public opinion. Would it have
killed our precious Ms. Tequila and Ryan Stout to have one of these "SEXY SPRING BREAK COUPLES" to be two gay men? I swear, I could have used this episode as support for my thesis.
Either way, I suppose my petty criticism can be summed up in one word: disappointed. I mean, Bathilda and her girlfriend were h-o-t hot. And those other couples were pretty smoking too. But Tila did a pretty good job at leaving everyone all the non-hetero couples out in the cold.