account your actions to my difficulty trusting you. My mistrust did not come out of left field. Actions & consequences, obviously and yet you remain oblivious to how your actions have affected me. Over and over again I've 'let go' and yet you continue to repeat your mistakes. This may be more my fault for letting you walk all over me but it is not right for you to still act so naive as to how your selfishness, lack of consideration and ability to brush my feelings aside so easily has let me down over and over again. I've felt a change and that was not my insecurities playing with my head. It was a slow but painful and steady but tremendous change that has been plaguing my mind and my feelings for a while now. You aren't the same. The little things do count because what else is there that makes each her own? We are all part of a big picture but what is there to differentiate us but the little things in our life, about us, in and between ourselves. What can I say... I can't say I've given up on you or given up on love... love seem so tiny and trivial... What is love without reliability, passion and lusciousness? I used to make you laugh and I used to make you smile. I was the one you wanted to see, the one you wanted to take out, the one you wanted to show your love for... Is it my fault I no longer see or feel that from you? Seeing it, I know, is more selfish that anything but what can you say about feeling it? Your past haunts me and I'm no angel either but you can't ask me to start over... It is just not my nature (is it even humans?) You can't blame me for being so afraid of the past repeating itself and I wish you could see that... You can't blame me for being scared of you... because if I didn't have a reason to, if you hadn't given me a reason to... then I wouldn't be. Actions and consequences and I could say it with every breath I have for the rest of me life... I don't think it would make a difference in you. How much hurt do I have to express for it to reach your heart? Never enough.