on my bike it feels like the wheels will fall off at any minute. i enjoy the danger. but if they ever did fall off i would probably cry. or die. i ride down a lot of steep hills. i rides these hills to houses. friends houses, my houses, franklin houses...i ride wherever my legs feel like taking me.

a real job is something im not ready for. it means less time for my bike. and less time spent at houses. but it also means a nicer bike. and maybe the time spent at houses will be about quality not quantity now.

i wrote all this while taking a shit. what a neat phone.

i never seem to clean anything properly. its an ability i do not have. i started cleaning the office today. it needs it badly. i put up the futon, dust busted some dirt, and moved some clothes. but then i saw my cat and played with her, found a box of pictures and became nostalgic, and added songs to my zoom. i never bothered to put pants on. eating chicken on a chair i found outside while only wearing underwear is a privilege i enjoy mon - thurs between 1230 and 430pm. this is my time. i wonder if my roommates have times of their own. i really should clean.

dora


june




these are our catz.

"It is not intertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed. It is shyness before any sort of new unforseeable experience for which one does not think ones self able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something live." - Rainer Maria Rilke

this was me last year:

http://users.livejournal.com/oh_no_disaster_/2005/05/11/

and the year before

http://www.livejournal.com/users/oh_no_disaster_/26894.html

and the year before that :

http://www.livejournal.com/users/_hugsfromboys/22635.html

22. i guess a lot has changed. but all changes im comfortable with. it doesnt even really feel like change.

im a goddamn old man.

im getting closer and closer to 28. which is closer to THEN END OF THE WORLD.

this feels more like a new years post than a birthday post. i guess my birthday is more a new year than the new year could ever hope to be.

im excited about tall bikes. and bikes in general. TALLANDEM.

im not excited about people who read over my shoulder. but i should be. at least someone is reading.

goodnight.

i got a cell phone. you should call it. (219 241 5668)

right now, id like to be eating scrotyums.

im drinking myself brilliant and making love to my image.

APPRECIATE SKA!!

kthx.

i used to own synthacons, optigans, marxophones, rhoades, orchestrans, farfisas, wurlitzers, hammonds, mellotrons, solovoxes, pancordians, claviolines, pianets, clavinets, cembalets, and none of it made the music in my head any more real.

STEVE FIG IS KING OF LAME

Sincerely
Jessi M. QUEEN OF COOL

although we may not be alone in the universe, in our own separate ways, we are alone on our own planet.

i know that i will die in my car. my last thought will be "at least this is a good song". it wont be a ben lee song.

my body will no doubt be entwined with the steel of my car.

but now, xfiles is on. its my reason for late nights.

even though ive lost my job, im the happiest ive been in awhile. i dont know why.


this is a picture of my brother and i. i look like an asshole. (not just in the picture).






good night.

I'd like to made. mtv take note. id like to be made into a sitcom.

haha very funny.



GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH. c u l8ter?

nashfan424: hey
dyslogism: do you know me?
nashfan424: ummm you imed me
dyslogism: you added me to your myspace
nashfan424: is this steve figs?
dyslogism: this is steve fig
dyslogism: from indiana
nashfan424: ummm we met saturday night
nashfan424: at brians
nashfan424: house
dyslogism: in indiana?
nashfan424: ummm no
nashfan424: in deland
dyslogism: i was in indiana saturday night
nashfan424: i think thats where his house was
dyslogism: i dont think my teleporter was working.
nashfan424: haha no seriously
dyslogism: seriously
dyslogism: if there is Steve Figs, that looks like me, Steve Fig, thats pretty fucking weird
nashfan424: you told me you used to be a graphic designer
nashfan424: i said figs by mistake
nashfan424: cause i was thinking of frankie figs from the whole nine yards
dyslogism: i dont know who's house i was at saturday night, and i was kind of drunk, but i dont remember you.
dyslogism: but i do know i was in indiana
dyslogism: did you even look at my myspace?
nashfan424: um yeah and you look a lot like the guy i met
nashfan424: which is incredibly weird
dyslogism: thatsreally fucking weird
nashfan424: and im pretty sure his name was steve fig
dyslogism: im sorry im not him
nashfan424: ok weird
nashfan424: adios sorry about that
dyslogism: i do know there is another steve fig floating around the internet that lives in jersey
dyslogism: he likes the band midtown a lot.
dyslogism: if that helps you at all
nashfan424: no he was from fl i think
nashfan424: and thats where i met him in deland
dyslogism: ok
dyslogism: who knows, maybe i was there
dyslogism: i hope.
nashfan424: lol
dyslogism: id blame kurt vonnegut.
nashfan424: ok sorry i dont know who that is

chicago was another marxists celebration. although we had neither pipes nor guns. we've dedicated very little to anything that isnt fun.

remaining nameless makes this more fun. this about you, and saying that, you know who are you.

but i have nothing to say other than thank you. for things i dont feel like listing. i have a cd for you. and youll like it. because its from me. that makes it good, right?

it used to anyway.

And lover, sweet lover
Please don't discipline your hands.
Just kiss me in the morning,
In your dirtiest pants.

i like to play mandola. you like to look at me.

i used to be a lot more...well i used to be a lot more me? i think.

im going back to school in august. the only thing that is really motivating me is the fact that i do not want to work in a bakery for the rest of my life. although my job is easy.




i spent the morning listening to screeching weasel, descendents, chixdiggit!, groovie ghoulies, sloppy seconds,the queers, and short music for short people. then harry nilsson comes along and tells me how everyone is talking at him. he doesnt hear a word theyre saying. only the echoes of his mind.

and i dont know which i like better.

but then i remember he is the douchebag that sang "coconut".

ive been up since 5 this morning. when i left the apt, it was about 70 degrees (Fahrenheit). it was beautiful. and dark. dick dale made my drive down the winding road that is 400e more enjoyable. but the whole time i was thinking about this stupid harry nilsson song. its not really that great of a song. but for some reason i needed to hear it.

so i heard it. and the lyrics arent really that great, and the song is only ok. but i started to tear up. and i decided that it was because i was yawning so much.

but its still a good song. and i'm going where the sun keeps shining through the pouring rain. i'm going where the weather suits my clothes. backing off of the North East wind, sailing on summer breeze, and skipping over the ocean like a stone.

one day, ill die. and i hope it is revealed to me if it was the song, or the yawning that made me tear up.
id like to think it was the song. and the music can affect me that way.

the way you never could.

The rain falls hard on a humdrum town
This town has dragged me down

and so the moz has been elected to speak for me.

thank you to everyone who made my trip all that it was.


LAW&ORDER was fucking awesome tonight.

ive done it.














nothing feels as great/horrible as this.

under no circumstances am i ever alone.

i will never be alone.

and my ipod is broken. that may be the closest thing to being alone i can get to.

here, is a picture,

i wish i was outdoors more. im conviced birds would land on me. and we would chat. i could be st francis. minus the saint. i could be francis.

( this is the best thing ive read in a while )

im going to do something great in the next couple of days.

i better get started.

im at home, sitting next to my favorite painting of birds.
im cold, not alone. my dog holly (hollis) is with me. i couldnt ask for better company.
i appreciate my dog more than i appreciate a lot of other people.

but i guess not everyone can relate...

as of now, everything is in its right place.
(rereading this, it seems like a lie)
one thing is definately out of place.

im too coward to put it back the way it was.


here's to a quick death.

regardless of the past, we always have the future.




i think its odd that we are both lonely living together.


i thought an update would be sort of like a colonic for me, but really its turning out to be more like a root canal.



i brush my teeth like once a week now. i feel fucking gross.

a brief encounter yesterday shows me that friendship do fade. i knew this, but somehow i thought i was exempt. i was never gold to begin with.

the vagueness allows me to not remember who or what this was about later on. a memorial to all ive forgotten.

if you would like to visit or write or camp with me, my new address is:

steve figueroa
695 north 400 east
valparaiso in 46383

if you would not, i understand.

hopefully this friday GBBC p.c.c. will meet and ride.

richard roundtree and i have something in common.

im eating jicama right now, and living the life. i think a jicama cole slaw would be good.
sooner or later im going start cooking real food and not just reheating shit.

im getting a new job. ill be a bakery supervisor. its more money, more work, and more hours, but its a day shift.

i need new dvds, i think ive watched arrested development more than anyone on the planet.





so, if this is all you read, please visit, i am lonely sometimes.

this post may be a bit unrequited and unnecessary, but not untimely. YOU'S.

i am moving out today.

im fighting with myself, practicing for all the fights in store. id like think that i know just what to say to win. but really i should learn what to say so that i dont go to bed alone.

im nervous. mostly because of money. and but other things as well. i have rehearsed lines for those arguments as well.

so if we never fight, i guess i could have used that time to pack.

im throwing all my shit in plastic bags. and i guess my life is changing?

but somehow i doubt ill be affected.

when i pictured this in my head, i was a little less somber. i think the last time i felt this way, someone had died.

after i type this post, i am going swimming.

i cant wait.

later on.

this is a cautionary tale.

speak before you think. youre going to get bitched at no matter what you say.

but dont let her catch down drinkin at the bar. she wont waste a fucking dime on you.

i am the only disaster in this town, people need to realize that. STEVEN DANIEL DISASTER.


i hate dinosaurs and everything they once stood for.

but, according to the message billy corgan left on my machine, i should put out another tape.
that is a lie, but only because i didnt get the message.

basia's is a polish deli i would like to lunch at. maybe you would like to lunch with me?

as joe before me, im touring the world via beer. next stop, beamish.

my cough is slowly subsiding.

i am no longer in high school.

i painted some birds, but i dont know wtf i did with the painting. ten shillings to anyone who fucking finds that shit. hello erica.

i was a foolish lad. i signed up for some columbia house dvd shit, and some bmg? thing as well.
i owe them both money. they have alerted my creditors. but jokes on them because the library popped that cherry about 2 years ago.

andy aledort will no longer be teaching me guitar. as i lost his instructional dvd.
i guess soaring like U2 was never in my future.

i trimmed my nose hair the other day. now blowing my nose hurts. but it doesnt hurt enough for me to stop trimming, just maybe not trim so much.

jordan _____bang_sucka took this picture of me:


this was the caption:

"ohhh im steve. i wear a fedora, oh i have a fake mustache that i like to wear around, oh i like to take pictures of myself in the bathroom. lalala."

i had to steal that from his post to make mine a little better.

finally, i was going to post this along time ago. i like this picture a lot for some reason. so much so that i went to wal mart and got one for my wallet. but its still not in there. i think i need a new wallet.




( edit )

IN cashflow OUT: you have a voice like a teddy bear, my friend

im content knowing this.
i never really like my voice before this moment.
i am your new teddy ruxpin.

yes, dear is on.

my hero.

ted leo/aloha was pretty fucking rad. some band that sounded like spoon only not talented played as well.

i saw brendan leonard at the show. it was fucking surreal.

i didnt see anyone who said they would be there. not as surreal.

my brother has his hand down his shorts.

today i will jump out of an airplane onto a moving train. from there i will write the great american novel.

i bought a badass sweater. its mean green.

and the groovie ghoulies are playing chicago soon.

in case you forgot, i am a taurus.

Helan går, sjung hopp falle rallen rallen lej,
helan går, sjung hopp falle rallen lej.
Och den som inte helan tar
Han hellar inte halvan får
Helan Går, sjung hopp falle rallen lej

i like magazines.
more than books.
not so much for the picture, but for the articles. i like that they are short. they are interesting for the most part, and if not, i can always skip to the next article.

lately ive been reading skyscraper, blender, radar, and adbusters.

id like to be left alone forever with my magazines.../end paraphrase

i also like country music. i always knew that i did, but recently i feel okay enough to openly admit it i suppose. merle travis, eddy arnold, and george jones are clogging up my ipod right now.

i have to really great ideas id like to remember: internet. art.

those words should be sufficient reminders to myself since i read my journal so much.

I LIKE THE APARTMENTS AT MAYFIELD

.

..but not more than art barn. sight unseen.

is cologne a good idea? jordan got in my car and he smelled like he fell in a pool of it. but i cant help but think that i might be missing out? maybe ill buy some Joop!

at work ive been daydreaming about music. i hope ian jones is serious about wanting to play guitar. id like to show him what little i know. maybe i can prevent another nickelback from happening. i hope the pederson-yoon-jones are ok with that. or maybe they really like nickelback. idk?

in summation:

i like magazines, and music. and i have ideas.

oh, trepanation shirts...
another reminder.

at this rate, i will never beat paper mario.

its 210 am.

i am sitting next to a guitar.

the night is young.

"hello ceiling"

i quit smoking three weeks ago today. since that time i have developed a killer cough.
it makes me want stand in the middle of a burning forrest of cigarettes and just breathe.

i am unbelievably moody right now. i think i might be ragging.

sooner or later i am going to need to buy an accordion folder and start organizing my life, and all the papers i have to prove that i do in fact exist. sooner or later i am going to need to buy an accordion.

for fun.

i have a new screen name. it is:

EMPIEZA A BAILAR

i have been 21 for a few days now. drinking still feels illegal. probably because i live with my parents and they make breathing feel illegal. but this prison has a gamecube and conjugal visits are pretty often.
the food could be better though.


i have been looking at schools. i would like to go back.

i have also been planning a secret trip to boston. dont tell anyone.

and getting an apartment hasnt been put on the back burner like my girlfriend might tell you, but i ask you this: how can someone who is sleeping look at apartments?

exactly.

i made bean soup the other night and i thought it would be nice to share it with someone who could appreciate it. i thought tina might be that person. but i wouldnt know how to get a hold of her.

and its just soup.

two bike rides in one day...i think miguel indurain might be starting to worry.

i was serious about mf doom.

"It is not intertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed. It is shyness before any sort of new unforseeable experience for which one does not think ones self able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something live." - Rainer Maria Rilke

this was me last year:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/oh_no_disaster_/26894.html

and this was the year before:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/_hugsfromboys/22635.html


and for the most part, nothing has changed.
i am as lost as i ever was. but now i am starting to map out everywhere ive been.
sooner or later it will become clear as to where im headed.

i have goals. but no priorities. im working on this.

i also have a vibraslap and a gamecube.

and hopefully i will soon be the proud owner of a stylephone mini organ.

today i am 21.

on the chopping block:
friendships
facial hair
underwear
smoking
and food.

a new life at the end of may?
I HOPE.

lives dont come cheap. but if youre looking for frowns, life can provide you with more than youll ever need.

i dont want to say goodbye. i would rather just leave, and be forgotten.

so soon ill be drinking to forget.


ill be 21 soon.

oh! this entry could be full of me trying to remember quotes like..."what a long strange trip its been" or something like that, because it indeed has been a weird trip since i last documented my pseudo-life. but, i think ill spare the quotes in lieu of something less wilson-phillips?


i once took a leap of faith only to find that i had no faith at all. slowly im finding the faith i thought i had but even slower i am finding myself back at the place where i once leaped.

so maybe im michael j fox.

but really, back to this place where i leaped from. since ive been falling a lot has changed. but all the things that i remember, they are the things that are the same. the only changes i notice are the ones pointed out to me. by people who have taken the same leap.

i once wished that i had never leaped. that was right about midway through my fall. but as the fall gets longer, that point seems further away, and less important.

so the fall is where im at now. and although its been scary as hell, i dont think i could have stayed on the edge waiting to take a leap.

/end.

im already forgetting what this about.

so there other day i saw brianne.
( brianne )

i traded her a my ghostbusters sweatshirt for a robot. then we whistled devendra as i left.

i went to see katy. (this happened a couple of times)

i worked alot. after work i saw candace.
( candace )


so then i got a mandola. i dont have a picture right because its at front porch. but its pretty old. and badass.

also i got an ipod somewhere in there. but i dont when.

then katy was jesus.




she also got sad about something. i am probably to blame for this.
( this picture is mainly for posterity )

i also found time to clean a toilet. my dad's uncle is coming to live with us. so if youre counting that is 3 uncles that have lived with us. well, one still does, and one to come. i think all 3 have been drunks.
( toilet-modified )

then i posed with the robot from brianne.
( steve & emiglio )

everything comes full circle.

i stopped smoking. im working out(kind of). im sore. i will be gone...


im leaving for ft lauderdale on friday. i will be in macon on friday night. then saturday ill be in florida. we are spending all kinds of time around ft lauderdale and miami. idk why...
then we leave and will spend one night in chattanooga.

so i guess ill be back then.

It seems these days that everyone needs a cause to support and I'm here to give you that. Fuck PETA, the ASPCA, the NAACP, and NASA! Make it your life duty to support the STEVE. This is a cause where everyone can make a palpable, tangible difference in the life of someone. You can immediately feel better about your station in life without having to try to anonymously shove money through Sally Struthers' buttery face to get to poor orphaned children. I live on my own(almost) and haven't spoken to my mom in at least a month. I'm your damned orphan!

You send me a check for $100.00 and I'll e-mail you a picture of my new Vans and the deposit slip for the remaining $40.00. It's immediate gratification for both of us and you don't even have to sit around waiting months for a fake, scrawled letter from your "adopted son" Nitabu in impoverished Ethiopia. Buy American, support Steve!

If we all work together, I can become something great with little to no effort. Isn't that the "American Dream" right there? When my ancestors from Whoknowswhere came to this country to find religious freedom, they also wanted to find industrial growth in a buyer's market* (*Information courtesy of Money magazine). Well, come on now.... Let's get some industrial growth started in my wallet. It's a buyer's market and I want to be the king of it!

If enough of you put out a little effort, you could just about become the person I forget to thank Oscar night! A totally beautiful thought indeed, eh?

"There's a definite Howard Hughes factor to my life, a Kleenex protocol."

i changed my layout.

you can see it ( here )

katy and i have been looking at apartments.

currently i am living ( here )

i would love to be living ( here )

but if that doesnt work out, these are all some ( options )

i really dont want to live in an apt complex. so we've been looking at converted houses. i guess that is kind of obvious.

im looking for another job. i dont like working midnights at all. ill keep doing it until i find another job.

i should be in milwaukee next friday. in case you care. and miami at the end of march.

and life is ok.

DESTROYER ♪the very moderng dance♪
VAN MORRISON ♪everyone♪
ANIMAL COLLECTIVE ♪sweet road♪
BRENDAN BENSON ♪jet stream♪
BOB DYLAN ♪it'a alright ma (i'm only bleeding)♪
EELS ♪grace kelly blues♪
HERMAN DUNE ♪being cool♪
JENS LEKMAN ♪do you remember the riots♪
THE CLASH ♪spanish bombs♪
CHIN UP CHIN UP ♪virginia don't drown♪
BECK ♪black tambourine♪
ROLLING STONES ♪let's spend the night together♪
BUZZCOCKS ♪everybody's happy nowadays♪
LCD SOUNDSYSTEM ♪daft punk is playing at my house♪
TOPLOADER ♪dancing in the moonlight♪
MEREDITH MONK ♪walking song♪
PROMISE RING ♪best looking boys♪
DEVO ♪i can't get no satisfaction (britney spears cover)♪
SILVER JEWS ♪buckingham rabbit♪
TRAIL OF DEAD ♪and the rest will follow♪
SPOON ♪lines in the suit♪
ELVIS COSTELLO ♪radio, radio♪
RAMONES ♪teenage lobotomy♪
♥

so if you were promised a mix in the last post, this is it.

i am mailing sue's(sundaeforone) today.
that is all

im thinking of a number between 1 and 202...can you guess what it is? (a mix to anyone who gets it.)

im on hold, waiting for a verizon representative to answer. im switching from earthlink dsl to verizon. this is probably the most exciting thing that has happened in awhile.

(we got verizon dsl while i was typing this out. or least we are getting billed for it. we also got a voice mail box and caller id. welcome me to the 21st century.)

i bought a melodica. it will be coming in the mail soon.

( melodica )

currently, i am building theremin. really i should say that i am collecting pieces and as soon as i get all the parts i will begin to assemble my theremin. this is exciting. i might just cave and buy one though.

while i was looking up info about theremins, i found out about an instrument called ondes-martenot. its very similar to a theremin, and if youre not sure what either are, you can read about them @ peterpringle.com. the one thing that is kind of sad is that they are no longer in production, and havent been for awhile. johnny greenwood played an ondes on hail to the thief.

i know i havent finished those interest pictures...ill get around to it.

im going to try and get a job with the usps. i heard its pretty hard, but really, i think im up for the challenge. money is a pretty good motivational tool.

working midnights really fucking sucks. i dont know how much longer i can keep this up. the only reason im doing this is for the money. but really...im sure i could find another job. that doesnt require me to stay up all night.

BIT CHASS.