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notsoxnice__

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[Monday
April 16th, 2007
8:45pm
]
so its been awhile since i updated.

quite a lot has happened.

my job is okay.
the boy is amazing even though he's not officially mine, just a technicality.
we've been "seeing eachother" about 2 months now. a little more maybe.

and the most recent tragedy. i just need to get my feelings off my mind for the night.

my grandmother died.
of cancer.
sometime last week.
we found out friday.
she apparently died either wednesday or thursday.
my mom found her 3:00 friday afternoon.
i guess it was pretty bad.
horribly bad...

this is the first time ive actually had to go thru a human death.
last time it was my doggy.
and the other times were my great grandma dry, and well, i was a lot younger and hadnt ever had a relationship with her except when i was younger and mostly that was wtih my great grandpa dry who i really dont remember but i guess i was his favorite of all time. haha.

i just dont understand death.
at age eighteen it still confuses me.

and especially the part where she knew it was worse then it was and she never told us. she said it wasnt that bad, that it was getting better, we saw her sunday, then by friday boom Dead Dead Dead.

i just remember when i was leaving my Uncles house Easter Sunday, she was losing her hair, on oxygen.. but she was happy.. but quiet... like she knew it was the last time she was going to see us all together...

and the way she looked at me as i was taking off..
she looked at me, and she nodded. just repeatedly nodded.
and it was so wierd.. and i felt so strange.
i dont know, i hurt.
but its normal.

i just want to understand.
how ridiculous
break it down

[Sunday
April 9th, 2006
10:44pm
]
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
http://kevan.org/johari?name=leahmarienewman
break it down

[Sunday
April 2nd, 2006
6:52pm
]
im watching this movie called walkout.
its disgusting.
break it down

[Monday
December 19th, 2005
6:31pm
]
i dont have a computer
who knows for how long
peace.
1 kids break it down

[Monday
October 31st, 2005
4:00pm
]
notsoxnice__'s Halloween party:

___prettything dressed as a Kell Planet Newspaper employee.
__oherin dressed as a outfielder for the Cubs.
__vintagebeauty dressed as the Pink Power Ranger.
accelerations dressed as LeBron James riding a hedgehog.
another_lesson dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Past.
assiral dressed as Scooter Libby.
brain_damaged dressed as a bottle of mylanta.
eviscerating dressed as Ashlee Simpson.
firstimeinyears dressed as Herbert Hoover.
haleysheart dressed as a mummy.
iad0redi0r dressed as a character from "The Matrix".
killing_six_am dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Smiling Watcher.
kylehh gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as Minnie Driver's grandfather.
mandemayhemmm dressed as a evil human resources department head honcho.
perfectwhore dressed as a dreadful devil, though it looked more like a diplomat from Portugal.
sea_men dressed as a falcon, though it looked more like your grandfather.
smashingapples dressed as George Bush.
tangerine20 dressed as a fullback for the Broncos.
thatsdeejforya dressed as a bark.
the_sting dressed as "Bones" McCoy from "Star Trek".
x_emotional_x dressed as Scooter Libby.
x_mistake dressed as a cigarette.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense


ha.
some of these are very funny.
9 kids break it down

[Tuesday
September 6th, 2005
10:32pm
]


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23 kids break it down

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