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  <title>diary.</title>
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  <lastBuildDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 15:43:01 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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  <pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 15:43:01 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>292 - Dear Daddy...</title>
  <link>http://users.livejournal.com/nixi_/80239.html</link>
  <description>So I wrote him a letter.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dear Dad,&lt;br /&gt;It has taken long enough and as you are the man I guess I could have been waiting a very long time for you to reply.&lt;br /&gt;I won&apos;t lie to you I have been expecting you to be knocking down the door, ringing us both up, begging for forgiveness. I know you are not to blame for ALL of this, everyone has a part that they have played.&lt;br /&gt;  &lt;br /&gt;The past week I have realised that life is much to short &amp;amp; you only get one dad. &amp;amp; your ours. I won&apos;t lie you hurt me really bad, you lied to me, you told me and you promised me that everything was going to be oki and it really isn&apos;t, it is FAR from Oki.&lt;br /&gt;  &lt;br /&gt;Philippa told me what you said to me at the party &amp;amp; I was hurt, I didn&apos;t understand why you couldn&apos;t pick up the phone and tell me yourself, but I do understand.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Things will take a LONG time to be put right but I think eventually they will be something like they were. I think we were all kidding ourselves thinking that it would have worked out, Richard &amp;amp; I living in Send.&lt;br /&gt; You have your life with Christina &amp;amp; the kids you have your routine and your ways of doing things, Richard &amp;amp; I have our own&lt;br /&gt;  &lt;br /&gt; I got the birthday cards yesterday and I&apos;ll be honest I never expected you to send them and I had to open them, I thought there might have been some sort of message in there that you want us back and that you are sorry. But there wasn&apos;t &amp;amp; after what I put in your card I never expected you to send me one. Yes it was childish what I did but you have to understand that it was still so fresh in my head and you know how close Richard and I are. But I apologise for any hurt that, that may have caused you,&amp;nbsp; just wanted you&amp;nbsp; to hurt as much as we were.&lt;br /&gt; I don&apos;t understand why Charlotte&apos;s name wasn&apos;t in the card either?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Richard is going to take a lot longer to come around, you know how much he looked up to you dad &amp;amp; right now he thinks that you don&apos;t give a shit. You need to see it from his point of view what happened.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I looked on my internet banking today, thank you. I would have text you but my phone has been cut off and has been for the past 3 weeks. So if you can inform Matt that I haven&apos;t been ignoring him.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I am free on Sunday and Monday if you are too and if you wanted to see me? I don&apos;t know how Richard would feel I could talk to him or I don&apos;t know if it would make more sense if you were to see Richard by yourself. That is if you even want to see either of us. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Let me know Dad.&lt;br /&gt; Love Always.&lt;br /&gt; Scraps&lt;br /&gt; xxx&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;lj-embed id=&quot;7&quot; /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;It&apos;s my Birthday tomorrow.&lt;br /&gt;</description>
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